Noah of Destiny
by Silly-Blue
Summary: Kanda, newly appointed General, is given the prediction that he will find the person he has been looking for; the person responsible for his very own curse. But he wouldn’t have expected her to be what she was – a Noah. Girl!Allen, Semi-AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:**

Instead of updating Ivory Tales I've sort of decided to start uploading one of my other In-Progress D.Gray-Man fanfiction. I was simply curious how people would react to this story - which I personally  like better than Ivory Tales, as it's a much more creative process, because I mostly leave the canon Hoshino has set for us, but still stay in the DGM universe with its Akumas, Noahs etc etc.

**For a warning:** This piece is set after the whole Arc incident in the Manga / Anime and even if it's different I still base this FF on the new things we have come to know and my own theories. What I want to say: there are **spoilers**. And just to repeat what is written in the summary; there will be (among other things) **girl!Allen**.

**Pairings:** For this and the next chapter there are no pairings, but I it won't stay like that.

**Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Hoshino Katsura**

**P.S.: I'm still too stupid to get the line breaks to work. Forgive me.  ('_-o-o-o-'_ signals the end of the paragraph)**

* * *

**Noah of Destiny**

**Chapter One**

The war was going bad for the exorcists. The Earl of Millenium had finally started to move and unimaginable destruction hit the order. Of all the exorcists humanity could have had on their side only a handful were still alive and able to fight. The situation was dire and they absolutely needed something – anything –which would give them a shimmer of hope or at least some time to mobilize new forces.

"They still haven't gotten hold of the heart". The leader of the Black Order's headquarters was furiously stomping through his room. "As long as there is still Innocence we can gather new forces. I know that this is a vain attempt to win this war, but it could buy us time".

"So what do you have planned, Komui?", the female exorcist, Linali, spoke up hesitantly.

"I know that the war is wearing you out…", the supervisor said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and left his hand lingering there, thinking, "but this is something we have to do… The generals are looking for more compatibles, but there are only four of them left…". He turned to face the young exorcists. "That's why, you, Kanda, will be sent out as well". The young Japanese man frowned, while the two other youths just gasped.

"But brother", Linali started, but was cut short by Kanda:

"Why", he demanded, dark eyes intensely focused on the tall man in front of him. Komui sighed, but met his gaze.

"Because you have broken the limit recently. You will be officially made general this evening", he answered and the three young exorcists looked at Komui with surprise written over their faces. A red headed young man turned to face Kanda.

"Wow, Kanda! Who would have thought it! You are amazing!", he complimented, but Kanda just snorted.

"That's ridiculous. I don't want to go travelling, looking for compatibles while we have the Noahs and the Earl to fight", he hissed, quite annoyed.

"I told you why it is necessary. We need more exorcists or all will be lost", Komui repeated, "I fear that I cannot let you refuse, Kanda. The world is at stake". Kanda stared at him, then he grinded his teeth and looked at the floor. There was no getting out of this.

_-o-o-o-_

"You know that you'll be sending me to death", Kanda commented while they were heading down to Hebraska, the Innocence's guardian.

"Kanda, you're the strongest exorcist next to the generals", Komui assured him and Kanda watched him from the corner of his eye, then he turned to face towards the opposite wall.

"But not as strong as a general. You know as well as I do that a general isn't only targeted by Akuma, but also by the Earl and the Noah. I might buy you some time, but it won't be long, because my curse will use up my life very fast if I have to fight constantly". Komui remained silent, but he had his eyes closed, guilt clearly visible on his young face.

"I… am so sorry, but it's the only choice we've got left", he whispered. Kanda looked at him, then let out an annoyed sigh.

"I don't care. Just don't get your hopes up that this will turn for the better", he spat. The hovering platform came to a halt and the giant form of Hebraska appeared.

"Kanda Yu, let me feel your Innocence", she demanded in her loud, eerie voice. Kanda took out his sword Mugen from its sheath and invocated it. He held it up and a dozen of Hebraska's skinny, long arms came forward to touch it.

"The synchronisation rate it at 118 ...", she exclaimed, "Kanda Yu, you have now reached the rank of a general". Despite the tense situation Komui clapped.

"Congratulation Kanda", he told him, smiling, but his eyes were still full of guilt. Kanda stopped the invocation and sheathed Mugen, whereas Hebraska raised a hand to his forehead.

"I have another prediction for you", she spoke softly and both Kanda and Komui raised their eyes to look up at the giant exorcist. "You will finally find the person you have searched for so long. Your encounter with them will give you alone the possibility to choose the course of fate". Komui turned to look at Kanda, who didn't move a bit, just stared ahead, hand on his chest.

"Kanda…", upon hearing the man's voice the young Japanese drew himself out of his stupor and turned to the supervisor.

"I will leave, right now", he told him, a fire ablaze in his eyes which told Komui that there would be no stopping Kanda from now on.

"Don't you want to say good-bye to your friends?", the man asked, but Kanda just shook his head.

"Don't tell them about the prediction, I need to carry this burden alone", he told him, brows furrowed. Komui hesitated, but then he nodded.

"We already have prepared your new uniform. You can depart instantly"

_-o-o-o-_

Kanda was sitting on the back of a merchant's carriage, travelling east. He had reached the Chinese border some days ago and was still going farther. The carriage rolled over the bumpy road which wound its way through corn fields. The golden buttons on Kanda's uniform glimmered in the setting sun and Mugen rested in his lap. He had only been a General for two months now, but he had already been able to collect nine pieces of Innocence and found four compatibles, which he had dropped off at the nearest Dark Order branch. He had said the same words to all of them: We will send you to war. Brace yourself to face death. He had felt sick saying it each time. The first compatible was a man in his thirties who just got back from an outlandish war, the second had been a women, mother of four children, which he had to drag away from home, the third was a young man, who had just married and the fourth one was a young girl of six years he had picked up in India. All of them compatible, all of them destined to die. Kanda hated it; he hated everything of this ridiculous war.

Kanda had gotten word recently that they were now 30 exorcists, more than there have ever been in the Dark Order's 100 years of history, but 30 compatibles for the 109 pieces of Innocence was not much. Not if those 30 people were up against never ending masses of Akuma, a whole clan of Noahs and the Earl. All their efforts seemed quite useless.

Kanda raised his head and stared into the sky, where the redness of the setting sun was slowly being replaced by the night's faint blue.

In this moment of silence the wind carried a strange noise to Kanda's ears. At first he thought it was just the night breeze blowing through the fields and the forest trees, but then he was able to discern a melody. It was still very faint, but as the wind grew stronger so did the melody and Kanda was sure that he heard someone singing.

"Oi", he called to the merchant, who turned his head, "what's that noise?". The merchant looked at him quite puzzled then he squeezed his eyes shut as if he was listening intently. When the singing was quite loud he opened his eyes again and laughed.

"That's the forest maiden. We call her that", he explained, when Kanda just looked at him blankly, "every farmer in the vicinity keeps talking about her singing, but I haven't seen her yet. Doubt anyone has". Kanda frowned, then he turned towards the forest, a wide stretch of cornfields lay in between. By the time he just wanted to ignore the song, he saw something sparkle in between the golden fields. It was a human, he was sure of it; a delicate white figure in between all the gold. Before he knew what he was doing, he had jumped off the carriage, strapped Mugen to his belt and went into the field. He could hear the merchant calling, but just raised his hand as thanks for the ride. The singing. He had to follow the singing, somewhere in the back of his head he recognized the tune. His hands brushed the high grass as he left the cornfield. He didn't see the figure anymore, but he could hear her, so he followed the sound into the forest.

He took Mugen out and it was pulsating in his hand. Was this Maiden of the Forest connected to Innocence? He stepped farther into the forest until he got to a small clearing, nothing more than a bit of earth without trees where the sun could reach the floor. Everything was drenched in golden and red light. And into this light, hands and back on a tree, slipped a figure dressed in white. He only saw her back, not her face. She wore a snow-white Kimono, her long pale hair, loosely fixed into a red band at the middle of her back, waved in the wind. Kanda suddenly felt breathless, as if he had been running for a long time and he held Mugen firmly in his hand, already invocated. Tension lay heavy in the air.

"Oi! Who are you?", Kanda called into the silence. The figure didn't move for a bit, then she glided to the side, shoulders still at the tree's surface and faced him. Kanda's breath caught in his throat. "You…". The women in front of him held an earthy brown wooden mask with darker circling symbols in front of her face with her right hand.

"It's been a long time, Yu Kanda", she whispered with the same voice that had sung the melody, with the same voice Kanda had heard over and over again in his dreams for years.

"The sorceress", Kanda breathed, "you're the one… Who gave me that curse!!", he shouted, hand on his chest where his life-consuming tattoo lay. The woman remained silent, but Kanda took a step forward, frowning, trying to contain whatever violent emotion had seized him. "Lower your mask!", he demanded, Mugen raised, pointed at her throat. The figure did comply, lowering the mask slowly, to reveal a face nearly as white as her hair. She was otherworldly beautiful and young, very young, but that was impossible! That event had taken place 20 years ago! How could she…?! Kanda stared at her face, the tip of her mask on her red lips. She was smiling and her blue eyes sparkled brightly under the red sunlight. A red tattoo – or so Kanda guesses – was etched into the left side of her face.

"I take it my spell has served you well", he heard her whisper, lowering the mask entirely so that he could see her lips moving. The mentioning of his curse fuelled Kanda's anger.

"Like hell it did! You have no idea what I have went through because of you!", he spat, but the sorceress just chuckled, finally letting go of the tree, stepping nearer to where Kanda stood. "Don't move, witch!". The girl laughed slightly, eyes gleaming orange under the intense sunlight.

"You wanted this tattoo, you wanted its strength. And I warned you of the consequences", she told him and lowered her eyelids slyly, "but you were full of anger, of hate and of despair". She smiled and put the mask back over her face, hiding her hands in the long sleeves of her Kimono. "You wanted the power to avenge your family, to kill everyone who had taken from you what you held dear", she told him, this time with a loud voice, which vibrated from the trees, moving her arms and body as if she would perform in a ritual dance. She spoke like she had spoken years ago, when they first met. "So I gave you what you desired".

"Nonsense!", Kanda roared, Mugen still raised, but he couldn't bring himself to kill her, even if he was furious; he had searched for too long, he would now get his answers! And somewhere in the back of his head he could still hear Hebraska's prediction, though he couldn't be sure that the witch was part of it. He decided fate; if he messed up now, all would be lost. He had to control his emotions, keep his head clear so that he could intervene and would not make a drastic mistake.

"Yu Kanda, thanks to the curse you have survived a hundred deaths", he heard the sorceress call, her voice paralyzing him, "And in return for your lifetime I have taken from you, you gained strength and you overcame every injury".

"But the flower is withering! Each time I fight and am seriously injured a petal falls!", Kanda shouted, "and I am far from having killed the Earl and his army!". The white-dressed female lowered her mask, her face was calm and almost grave.

"We are at the crossroads of time", she told him and he frowned, "Both sides have to mourn losses and each side could win or lose anytime. Victory, Yu Kanda, cannot be held in the arms of the haughty. She can be the Earl's", the sorceress raised her left hand; dark, with long black nails, "or she can be yours". Kanda looked at her unmoving and silent, Mugen now lowered.

"Who are you?", he wanted to know, intrigued once again by her words, but this time he remained calm and in check of his emotions. He wouldn't make the same mistake again. Hiding her red hand in her Kimono's sleeve again, she raised her other hand to her chest and smiled at him.

"I am the Noah of Destiny. Ellen Walker is my name", she announced, her words only a whisper but they arrived clear and loud at Kanda's ears. The Japanese man stared at her. She was a Noah? He had made a deal with an ally of the Earl?! This was ridiculous. He raised his sword at her.

"Then I should kill you", he hissed, but the Noah just smiled.

"You should not", she announced and raised her hand, her index finger raised. A white, plain door appeared out of nowhere. "Let us continue talking at a safer place. That's why you came to search me. To have your questions answered". She did not wait for his reply, but opened the door which led into white nothingness and stepped inside, leaving the door open. Kanda hesitated. Was this the wrong thing to do? Would he be able to change fate by following her or by staying behind? He did not know for sure, but if he followed her, he could get some answers out of her and then he could engage her in a fight. All in all, following her seemed like the better option. So he did.

_-o-o-o-_

The room Kanda stepped into was white, with a high ceiling and a wall covered in mirrors. In a corner stood a sofa, framing made of white wood and the fabric was white velvet. In the middle of the room stood a white piano, where the Noah was standing. Her clothes had changed; she now wore a long black dress with a high neck, wide arms, and the fabric reached to the floor and pooled around her feet in silky folds and rich laces.

"Come sit with me Yu Kanda", she whispered to him, but he hesitated and glanced at the wall behind him; the door had disappeared and there was no other door or window to be seen. The Noah sat onto the piano stool, still leaving enough room for another person to sit. She patted the white surface and smiled up at him.

"Stop with that friendly façade, it's making me sick", Kanda hissed and strode over to her, but wouldn't sit down. Ellen Walker simply smiled up at him.

"There is no need to be so reserved. I am not your foe", she told him, raising her hands to the keys.

"Stop lying. You are a Noah!", Kanda hissed, "why did you let me find you? I wasn't able to find you for 20 years and now you suddenly appeared!"

"Because I was waiting for the right time", she explained and pressed down at a seemingly random key. A clear sound was heard and Kanda saw an armchair materialising next to him.

"And why is it time now? Why couldn't it have been 20 years ago!", he shouted. Ellen smiled at him and he was growing frustrated, "stop smiling!!".

"Please, sit down", she asked him, pointing at the armchair, "it will get uncomfortable for you if you have to listen while standing". Kanda snorted, but sat down nevertheless.

"Why did you put the curse on me?", was Kanda's first question. He decided that he would do this neatly, he had sworn himself to be calm about it.

"Haven't I told you just before? Because you wanted it", she answered. Kanda growled.

"I wanted something to grant me strength so I wouldn't die instantly, something stronger than Innocence. I didn't want to be… what I am today!". Ellen eyed him interestedly, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Then tell me; what are you?", she wanted to know and he was annoyed at their flipping of positions.

"Surely no longer human!", he spat, hand on the left side of his chest, "if you had the means to make me stronger, why did you chose that one?! Because you wanted to have a sure way to get rid of an exorcist in due time?!". The Noah started to laugh, shaking her head. "Then why?! Why you, a Noah!".

"Your determination was strong and I liked the fire burning in your eyes", she told him, "I didn't do it because I wanted to torment you. I chose to give you my gift so you would get stronger and survive until the day we could meet again"

"But why, even if I haven't gotten older for the last 20 years?! Why at the cost of my life? Your curse pushed me to constant battles!". Ellen watched him silently.

"You are afraid of death, are you not?", she asked him, which just turned him even more furious.

"What kind of question is that?!", he roared and the Noah still smiled, not offended at all.

"You should stop trying to blame me. You would be long dead if I hadn't chosen the Lotus Charm", she told him.

"I still can't make sense of it. I'm not aging anymore, but I still lose my life bit by bit. Why? You still haven't given me an answer to that", he told her, now trying to be calm again, as shouting didn't seem to impress her much.

"You are immortal and can survive any injury. The flower has taken over your mortality and will fade when you go over the limit. Small injuries and even mediocre damage which could be life-threatening to a mere human, will do nothing to the flower. But constant deadly blows will", the sorceress told him, eyes focused on his face, "The reason to why your body doesn't age is because I have taken away your mortality…". She pushed a few keys with her right hand and windows appeared at the wall opposite her which flooded the room with a bright light. Kanda turned to it and could see a town with white-washed buildings and a clear blue sky. "The reason I chose this curse was mainly to keep you alive until we could meet again. I had to wait until the right time came", she continued, "I knew it would take many years and if I let you age…", she left the sentence open and Kanda snorted.

"Why? Because you thought that I wouldn't be handsome with forty?", he asked with a loop-sided smirk. The Noah laughed and shook her head.

"That's not it, silly boy", she answered, "but people change when they grow older and you were at the peak of youth. You need this freshness now. And I couldn't be sure how long it would take; if you age, then you'll die". Kanda turned away from her smiling face, still not really believing her explanation, and looked out of the window.

"You're a Noah. Why are you helping me out?", he wanted to know.

"Because I'm the Noah of Destiny", she whispered and he looked at her, "I don't care what will happen and I don't care who wins this war. I do not stand on anyone's side for a long time nor do family bonds really matter to me", she answered. Kanda remained silent for some time, thinking over his next words.

"So you didn't pledge loyalty to the Earl or to the Noah Clan", she shook her head, "how can I know that you won't just stab me in the back?", he asked darkly, "you could be false, like your smile and like your 'gift'".

"Oh, you can't be sure", she told him quite openly, "I still have some things which connect me to the Earl and I will go on doing as he tells me for as long as I want to. But I don't think that destiny should abandon either side completely".

"Tell me why you think that now is the time to act? Why not earlier or later?", Kanda wanted to know and the Noah let her fingers glide over the ivory keys of the piano.

"I told you. We are at the crossroads of time. The war is at a decisive stage". The Japanese man frowned.

"Then what do you plan to do?", he wanted to know from the female Noah, who was still letting her fingers touch the keys lightly without actually playing anything.

"I don't know. Why don't you think of something, Yu Kanda?", the girl proposed, which made Kanda groan angrily. Ellen lifted both of her arms and put them on the surface of the piano. "Right now Destiny is in your hands".

"Then maybe I should kill you as long as you are, so that you won't go back to the Earl", Kanda replied and had the girl laughing. Kanda noticed that in the back of her strange red hand a green cross glimmered. As he caught sight of it a familiar feeling went through him, the reason of Mugen's slight pulsating becoming clear to him.

"Why is a Noah carrying Innocence?", he asked and Ellen looked up at him.

"Because I was born with it", she answered, laughing slightly. Kanda grinded his teeth and grabbed her shoulder.

"I'm no idiot, Noah! I know that you and Innocence stand in contrast like light and darkness. Noahs destroy Innocence and Innocence destroys Noahs! You can't have both because you can't serve both Devil and God!" She lifted her own hands to his, but he pulled away at her touch.

"Even though I am the Noah of Destiny I have not planned my own fate. But because I was born with both Innocence and the genes of Noah they now stand in a delicate balance", she explained raising her red hand to her ivory face, not at all dark and grey like a Noah's.

"Fine", Kanda finally spoke up again, thinking about what he could do, "fine…", he repeated and sheathed Mugen. "You told me that for now, Destiny is on my side". Ellen Walker nodded, "That will be enough for now"

"So we have established a temporal trust I assume?", Ellen asked with a smile on her face. Kanda chose not to comment on that.

"You're coming with me. To the Dark Order", he announced and Ellen's smile widened just a bit, her eyes showed mild signs of surprise.

"Very well, Destiny takes a new turn", she announced and some sort of symbol appeared where the musical score for the Piano should be. "Then let us go to the Dark Order, with this Ark of mine". She started to move her hands over the keys and opened her mouth to sing a tremendously beautiful song, which left Kanda paralysed. He didn't feel any movement at all, but after the song stopped the Noah got on her feet and pressed a key, so that a door appeared behind Kanda. Its double doors were made of dark wood and were richly decorated with gold. Her dress was flowing around her feet and dragging over the white ground behind her, Kanda had to watch his step as not to put his feet on the fabric.

Ellen opened the door and disappeared into its void, Kanda following closely. Within the blink of an eye the darkness had gone and revealed nothing other than Kanda's own room.

"Why are we in my room?!", he spat and threw a quick glance at the lotus hourglass; five petals had fallen.

"Because Noah's Ark can go anywhere I desire it to go", Ellen told him and put her hands on the glass of Kanda's dearest possession. "Hm… What warmth my dear flower is radiating…", she whispered. Kanda stayed silent until she let go of the hourglass.

"Next time don't choose my room", he told her and opened the door so they could get outside. Kanda led the way silently, only their footsteps and the rustling of Ellen's dress, gliding over the floor, resonated on the stone walls.

"This place is rather cold and unfriendly", the Noah commented while Kanda led her through many corridors until they reached white doors. Kanda didn't reply – there wasn't any need to – and opened the doors to the Science Department. He entered and Ellen followed, attentively observing her surroundings. The scientists who were still in the office raised their eyes to have a look at the newcomer.

"Kanda! You're back!", one of them exclaimed, but most of the people were too busy staring at the beautiful women behind him, who was silently smiling gently. Kanda ignored all of them and rushed to Komui's Office, Ellen following.

"Komui!", he called to get the man's attention immediately. The supervisor raised abruptly.

"Kanda? Kanda! You have returned!", he exclaimed and rushed to him to see if he was injured, "In perfect health I guess?".

"Yes", he replied curtly and took the Innocences out of his bag and handed them to Komui.

"You're remarkable, Kanda… Four new compatibles and five more Innocence pieces!", he exclaimed then he noticed the girl standing behind him. "And who is she?"

"Ellen Walker. She has a parasitic Innocence", Kanda answered.

"Another exorcist I see!", Komui replied and smiled, "welcome to our Order!"

"Thank you very much", Ellen replied with a wide smile and shook his extended hand.

"But it's unlike you to return to headquarters with a compatible", the scientist remarked and Kanda debated for some time what he should tell him. The whole truth was not possible yet, that he was sure of.

"Because I want her to stay with me", he answered and Komui raised his eyebrows in astonishment. "She is the person I have been searching".

"A… girl? You were looking for a girl?", the supervisor asked incredulously, but then a sly smile formed on his face, "ah, I understand".

"Don't go making assumptions, you idiot!", Kanda shouted, but Komui just laughed. "Che. Fine, think what you want, but I'll want her to stay with me". The supervisor stopped laughing and raised his eyebrows.

"You're taking her in as a disciple?", he asked and Kanda nodded, "but why have you refused to train the other four?"

"Because I don't want to be responsible for their deaths", Kanda answered with a grim face, "that will be all. Let's go". Ellen nodded with a smile and turned around.

"But we need to take her to Hebraska and get her a room and a uniform!", Komui protested which had Kanda groaning in frustration.

"Tomorrow!", he told him firmly, though he didn't really want to take her to Hebraska, just in case that she'll know what Ellen really is. "She'll stay in my room!".

"Kanda… I don't want to talk into your matters, seeing that you are an adult…", Komui began as the two exorcist were already back at the door, "but speaking on behalf of the Church; you have to marry her before… you know". Komui apologizes heartily as he was being approached by a furious Kanda with his invocated Mugen raised at Komui's face.

"Stop making assumptions you damned idiot!!", the general shouted and pierced Komui's hat, missing his head by just a few centimetres.

"I'm sorry!". Ellen observed the whole scene with mild amusement, but decided it was best not to intervene.

"Che. Come now", Kanda exclaimed and turned away from Komui, who was nursing his abused hat. Ellen nodded, bowed to Komui and then followed the ill-humoured exorcist out of the Science Department.

"This Komui is your superior, right?", she wanted to know as soon as they were back at Kanda's room. The man put Mugen away and took off his uniform silently, then he sat on his bed.

"Yes", came Kanda's answer, not turning towards the Noah.

"Does he know of your condition?", she wanted to know and let her fingers glide over the smooth surface of the hourglass, Kanda attentively observing her.

"He knows that I have taken a curse upon me and that I can heal fast. He also knows that my lifetime is connected to the Lotus. But he hasn't been here for that long… He doesn't know that I'm 38 years old". Kanda saw that Ellen let go of the hourglass and leant against the cold stone wall. "I have used Mugen as a weapon since I've been eight. Then, on that night – I'm sure you remember all too well – you cursed me. General Xavier found me and took me as a disciple, but we've never been to the order. Xavier knew about the curse, but he thought it best not to reveal it to anyone. He died in an Akuma attack ten years ago. On my search for you I went west and was eventually found by General Tiedoll, who had taken over for Xavier".

"So no one knows…", Ellen concluded.

"No one knows and it'll stay like this", Kanda answered, "I don't want them to put their noses where they don't belong". Ellen laughed, which angered Kanda, but then she leaned down to him.

"Very well. Your secret will be safe with me", she whispered and Kanda didn't say anything. "It is now time to go to bed, a Noah needs sleep too", she told him, then she raised her hands elegantly. A black void opened under her long dress and she glided into the ground until nothing was left of her.

"What the…", Kanda hissed and looked at the void which was closing fast until nothing was to be seen except his stone floor. After some moments of fruitless staring, he flopped down unto his bed, arms over his face. "Damn… Even if she is that person… I've let a Noah infiltrate the Black Order…", he hissed and then turned to his side, so he could watch the Lotus. "I can't know if I am saving or dooming humanity…", he whispered to himself, "only time will tell…".

_**To be continued**_

**Notes:**

I first planned to confront you with a 10'000 words long chapter, but then I felt that it was just too much to bear. X3 So I broke it up into two chapters. The whole story is still ongoing.

_**I'm very curious what you think of this story so far! :3**_

And for those of you who wonder why I decided to write this story: In Ivory Tales I don't dare to invent a past / background for Kanda, but here I wanted to. It's a past I don't think coming true though (I would probably worship Hoshino as my new God if she decided to make it come true), that's why I feel free to let my mind run wild. I have my wish-theory that Allen could be Kanda's that-person, becaues I over-interpret (is that even a word?) the covers and I also did for the Kanda cover (of volume two) - have a look at it and you know what I mean. X3  
And "Noah of Destiny" is a very cheesy title...

P.S. General Xavier is of course my invention, the idea for him came -again- from a Proseminar about China. X3


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Notes:**_

_Back with a new chapter! I was very pleased to see you reactions to this story!! I was unsure whether the subject was of any interest even though I personally liked it. Thanks to all those who read and reviewed! :3_

_My friend Marzi and I had a discussion once about Kanda, his curse and_ that person_. I have to give credit to her for giving me the idea that Kanda could be older than he looks like thanks to the tattoo (which I've come to call_ Lotus Charm_, because curse doesn't seem to be the right word for it)._

_**Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**_

_**

* * *

**_**Chapter ****Two**

_The moon shone brightly onto the path and the nearby fields. A young boy, a sword over his shoulder, made his way back to the village. His clothes were slightly torn at some places, but he was in perfect health. He summed a children's song, while kicking a pebble in front of him lazily. He had been training in the fields, like usually, but then he had made a strange discovery; in a cave he had found a strange green, glimmering object. Curious as he was he went to investigate it, but as soon as he touched the object to examine it more closely it disappeared in a flash of bright light. Wondering what had happened the young boy had looked around, but then he had turned his gaze onto his sword, only to realize that it had turned black. _

_The boy threw a look at the sword over his shoulder. _

"_Che. Father will be angry…", he thought and examined it, but it suddenly started to pulsate. The boy nearly let his weapon fall to the ground, his nerves on edge. He knew there was something around, something which meant ill. The next second a blast of pink light soared past him and the ground in front of him exploded. The boy jumped back, but bumped into something solid, metallic. He slowly turned around and found himself face to face with a strange creature; it was round and made of metal, canons were pointing out of its body and in the centre lay a face, looking rather like a mask, but it had human features and a star-shaped symbol on its forehead. The boy was even too afraid to scream and he started to run, but another explosion made him stop. The sword was heavy in his hand, heavy and burning hot and pulsating, as if it urged him to attack. The boy hesitated, knowing that a sword was useless against metal and guns, but he raised the sword and grabbed it firmly with both hands. Suddenly, determination flooded him and the sword glowed; the black surface turning silver. _

_He started to run in the monster's direction and slashed at it, making a clear cut over its face. The creature let out a metallic howl, but then it exploded, throwing the boy to the ground. _

_As soon as the dust had settled__ the boy saw that there was no monster left and his sword didn't even have a scratch._

"_Impossible...", he breathed and turned the sword around in his hands, "I never know that this blade could cut steel!". A grin stole itself onto the boys face and he chuckled. "Dad won't believe me"_

Kanda woke up to someone tugging at his sleeve. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was his Lotus, five petals fallen. Then he vaguely remembered someone annoying him and looked down at his arm. But all he saw was a white hand and an arm which disappeared over the edge of his bed. He sat up abruptly and stared down. The Noah was smiling up at him, only her upper body visible and the rest still hidden in the black void she had disappeared in last night.

"Good morning Yu Kanda. I hope you have enjoyed your sleep", she told him and let go of his shirt. She raised both of her arms and elegantly rose out of the hole, which vanished shortly afterwards.

"What… How…", Kanda began, not knowing what he should ask first, "Can you stop just popping up in my room?!". The Noah chuckled and leant against the window frame. "What was that hole?"

"It's a door of the Ark. Outsiders can go through doors, I – who control the Ark – can also use these panels", Ellen explained, looking at the broken glass of Kanda's windows, "maybe I should incorporate your room into the Ark, then I could effortlessly fix your window".

"Don't you dare to do such an absurd thing!", Kanda warned then got up to dress himself. Ellen smiled at him, "I'm changing!"

"What? Do you want me to leave?", Ellen asked, feigning disappointment, so Kanda just groaned and changed into his uniform. Ellen still wore her extravagant dress and the Japanese wondered how she managed not to trip or collect dirt with it.

"Have you returned to the Earl yet?", he asked and Ellen looked at him in mild surprise.

"No? Should I?", she wanted to know, "I told you, for now, I'm on your side"

"Never mind. This Ark, Noah's Ark. Doesn't it belong to the Earl?", he wanted to know and eyed Ellen suspiciously.

"Somehow, but without me he wouldn't be able to use it properly", she answered and Kanda frowned.

"Doesn't he know that you and the Ark disappeared?"

"Oh, he's used to us Noah wandering off on ourselves. The Ark on the other hand has never left its location. I've just opened doors to other places. I could move the Ark, but that would be against the Earl's current wishes". Kanda remained silent, thinking it over. If the Ark was still with the Earl and it had a door opening to his room… He couldn't help imagining waking up to the fat Earl grinning at him. It was quite a disturbing thought. Ellen probably saw his face change and looked at him with interested shining in her eyes.

"Do not allow anyone to enter the Black Order", he warned, "or you'll die". Contrary to being disturbed by his threat, Ellen just laughed amusedly.

"Oh my dear Yu Kanda, stop worrying so much. Haven't I said it enough times for it to get into your pretty head? I am on your side. For now", she answered and he screw up his face, quite angry at her stupid behaviour.

"Curse you, I _know_! And you always add a "for now"! Heck, I have no idea how long "now" is supposed to be!", he yelled and when Ellen put her hand on his shoulders, Kanda twitched under her touch.

"Listen, my dear Yu Kanda…", she started, her face close to his, "I have no reason to abandon you at this point of time. Maybe I will disappear to complete missions for the Earl, but he knows that I am not able to kill exorcists". Kanda took notice of this fact silently, not questioning it at the moment, "I will not be required to turn against you or your allies. But even though I am on your side now, I cannot severe my bonds with the Earl's side". Kanda just looked into her grey-blue eyes, not saying anything, but she seemed to be honest. But what value did a Noah's supposed honesty have? For now he had to trust her as she was the "tool" to decide fate and to get rid of his curse. If he had to, he would kill her.

The Noah let go of him eventually and took a few steps towards the door. "Well? Don't you want to introduce me to your friends?". Kanda snorted, but got up from the bed and opened the door. She left the room and he followed, carefully avoiding the laces of her dress.

"Have you ever used your Innocence before?", Kanda wanted to know while he led the girl down the many stairs of the Order's main tower. Ellen seemed to think about it, a white finger on her cheek.

"Well, I did some time ago, but I mostly use my other abilities if I need to fight"

"Against whom do you need to fight? Exorcists?", Kanda asked hatefully, glaring at her. Ellen laughed, but didn't give an answer, not that Kanda really expected one. They arrived at the main floor of the tower, where other people were present; most of them finders or staff. Ellen did get some bewildered or interested stares, but she just smiled as she walked next to Kanda.

"This is the dining hall. We eat meals here, the cooks can make you anything you like", Kanda told her and led her to the kitchen. Jerry, the man responsible for the kitchen, leaned over the counter as soon as he saw Kanda and his unknown companion.

"Oh my goodness! Kanda has returned!", he exclaimed loud enough for most of the dining hall to hear him. "How I missed to prepare your meals!!", he told him, tears of joy leaking out of the corners of his eyes. He wiped them away and turned to look at Ellen. "And who is this young lady next to you? Are you new?". Ellen smiled at him and nodded.

"This is Ellen Walker, my disciple", Kanda answered for the young women, then he turned to her, "go on. Order something"

"Nice to meet you", she first greeted, "could you get me some porridge and a sugar-covered slice of bread?". Jerry smiled and nodded eagerly.

"Right away, darling!", he exclaimed, "and the usual for Kanda I guess?". The Japanese just nodded and they waited as Jerry disappeared into the kitchen, shouting orders to the staff. Some people were approaching them, because they had heard Jerry shout. Most came to say a "welcome back" to Kanda and to compliment him on his huge success in finding Innocence and compatibles. The others were more interested in Ellen, which was no surprise. But the girl didn't need to answer any questions, because Kanda just shot them dark glares, which prevented the people from daring too much. The two got their food and carried the trays through the rows of tables and benches. A young woman jumped up and waved at them.

"Kanda! Over here!!", she called and Kanda turned to look at Linali, groaned, but still led Ellen to sit with them. They took a seat opposite Linali and Rabi, both slightly wrapped up in bandages, but otherwise quite lively. "When did you return?".

"Late at night, yesterday", Kanda replied.

"And who is this stunning lady?", Rabi wanted to know, eyeing Ellen with much delight, for which Linali hit his shoulder.

"Her name is Ellen Walker. I've met her in China. She's my disciple", Kanda answered, eating his food. The other two stared him in surprise.

"What? I can't believe it!! Yu taking in a pupil?!"

"Che. Don't call me by my name you imbecile!", the Japanese spat. Rabi just grinned at him knowingly and Kanda tried to ignore it as much as possible. Linali just smiled at the two of them, then she turned to look at Ellen, who was silently eating her porridge.

"Sorry, we forgot to introduce ourselves. This is Rabi and I'm Linali", Ellen raised her head and smiled at her, then at Rabi.

"Nice to meet you", she replied politely and the Chinese girl continued smiling.

"How old are you?", Linali asked. Kanda frowned and threw the Noah a glance; she couldn't possibly say the truth.

"I'm 15", she answered, "and you two?"

"I'm 17 and Rabi will be turning 20", Linali replied, "Kanda's 19, but you surely know this". Ellen smiled and nodded.

"So… How did you two end up together?", Rabi wanted to know, playing with his fork. Kanda frowned and kicked his shin under the table. "Ouch! I mean; how did you find her?"

"I told you. It was in China", Kanda answered angrily. Rabi pulled a face and looked at him intensely.

"But why didn't you send her to the nearest branch, like you always do?", the red head asked, "I mean, come on, you're not the best teacher out there and you hate responsibility!!".

"Rabi, stop teasing him", Linali tried to intervene, but Rabi just went on grinning at Kanda. The man groaned and put down his chopsticks.

"Would you shut up if I told you that I thought that she was stunningly beautiful?". Rabi stared at him for a moment, then nodded. "Fine. She's stunningly beautiful". Linali was quite red on her cheeks to hear her rather cold friend say something like this (even though it lacked the passion of such an exclamation), Rabi still stared at him and Ellen just chuckled amusedly. "Come! We need to see Komui!", Kanda hissed at Ellen and she nodded. She put down her spoon and excused herself, then she followed Kanda out of the room, still leaving the other two thunder-struck.

"Do… you think he meant it…?", Linali wanted to know as soon as she had recovered, which took her less time than Rabi.

"Probably", he finally said, "Kanda's not able to joke", he added.

-o-o-o-

Kanda rushed up the stairs to the science department, Ellen following closely, lifting her skirt as not to trip on the stairway.

"Do you really think I'm beautiful?", she wanted to know with a bright smile. Kanda didn't even stop to look at her, just put on a disturbed grimace.

"I just said that to make the idiot shut up!", he yelled angrily, "you know why I took you with me!".

"Either way, thank you. I'm flattered", she replied laughing. "Not many people tell me that I'm good looking". They reached the top of the stairs and Kanda turned to her, to study her face and body.

"Che. The Clan must be stupid or you're ugly when you transform. Whatever the case, it doesn't concern me", he told her, then turned to walk into the laboratories of the science department. Ellen stood fixed on the spot for some time, quite surprised, but then she chuckled and followed him.

-o-o-o-

Komui seemed as if he had been waiting, because the first thing they saw upon entering was the Supervisor grinning at them.

"Kanda! Ellen! There you are!!", he exclaimed cheerfully, "Let's go down to Hebraska!".

"Why are you so eager…?", Kanda asked suspiciously, "when I was here the last time you always put off getting the new compatibles down to Hebraska". That made Komui shut up and he eyed the content of his coffee mug with a guilty look on his face.

"Well… Normally I am, but Ellen is your special someone", he answered, nearly a whisper as if he feared that Kanda could send Mugen flying in his direction.

"You make it sound stupid", the man hissed and turned to look at Ellen, she was smiling brightly. Ellen probably didn't know who Hebraska was or what it meant to go down to her but sending a Noah there was risky in two ways; firstly, Hebraska could know that she's a Noah and then there'd be no other choice than to kill her right on the spot (which could be the right thing to do in order to win the war, but then Kanda would never get his curse lifted or questions answered) and secondly was Hebraska the guardian of the Innocence pieces and, as a Noah, Ellen had to power to destroy all of them (and if the Heart happened to be among them the war would be lost). But neither Komui nor Ellen knew of the dilemma Kanda found himself in. If he denied Ellen access to Hebraska it would raise suspicion and he didn't know how he should even try to answer the possible questions. He didn't have any choice; Ellen had to go there.

"Ready to go?", Komui asked and Kanda took a step closer to the woman, which had the Supervisor laugh heartily, "of course you can come with us, Kanda".

The small group left the science department for the bowels of the Dark Order; the Innocence Sanctuary.

-o-o-o-

They were standing on a hovering platform and Hebraska's translucent form appeared before them.

"Hebraska, may I introduce you to Ellen Walker? She's Kanda's disciple". Ellen looked up at the huge form of Hebraska, but Kanda saw that she was not scared or surprised, but in awe.

"Beautiful…", Kanda heard her whisper as she moved closer to the metal railing, where Hebraska was waiting silently. The Exorcist extended her many arms to Ellen and the Noah closed her eyes. A few silent and – in Kanda's opinion – tense moments went by in which neither of the four spoke, but then Hebraska released her.

"Ellen Walker, your synchronization rate lies at 87", was the first thing she said and the Noah opened her eyes. "I saw that you might come to be a great light in the darkness, but this power comes as a double-edged sword. It does not lie in your hands what you will become", Hebraska turned her face to look at Kanda, "It partly lies in yours, Kanda Yu". Komui and Ellen looked at the Japanese man and he frowned.

"Why?"

"That's what I've seen…", Hebraska announced but didn't give additional prophetic words.  
"Well", Komui spoke into the silence, "the two of you should better stick together". He seemed to be thinking for a while, but then bid Hebraska good-bye and moved the platform up again. Nobody was speaking and Ellen still looked down at Hebraska's disappearing form until only darkness was to be seen. Only when they were back at Komui's office did he speak up again:

"Listen you two", he started and motioned them to sit down on the couch, what they did, "Hebraska's prophecies need to be taken seriously. Kanda, as it stands now you'll be the one who will decide whether we will win or loose this war. Ellen is our "light in the darkness" which means that she probably is our only hope of winning this war when it turns for the worse. I just hope that the "darkness" does not refer to the "three days of darkness"…", he left that sentence open and sighed, "Ellen will not be the one to decide what she'll become. As the "double-edge sword" she will either be – pardon my way of putting it – useful for us or for the Earl. Stick together, because you, Kanda, will be the one determining if she can stay on our side. If we lose her to the Earl, someone on his side will probably know how to use her…" Throughout all this Ellen remained silent, even her smile had disappeared, which Kanda noticed with uneasiness welling up inside of him. "I know this must sound horrible to you, Ellen…" Komui addressed her and she raised her head. She smiled and shook her head.

"No, don't worry. I'm prepared", she answered, but lowered her head again and Komui sighed silently.

"Very well… You can leave, I will inform you if a mission comes up"

"Hey, don't I have to continue my mission as General?", Kanda asked after he and Ellen had got up form the sofa. Komui looked at him and sighed.

"Not for now. It's best that you two stay close to headquarters…", he advised and Kanda frowned, but didn't want to go against the order.

The two of them left the science department and returned to Kanda's room.

"Why the long face?", Kanda asked, standing by the bed, while Ellen was looking out of the window. Ellen turned to him and smiled, which wasn't really convincing, then she turned her head back to the window. "You really are an exorcist now, next to being a Noah. Is this the problem?", he continued, but she shook her head. "Because you can't be the one to decide which side you'll be following?". The Noah frowned, an expression he hadn't seen yet, and turned her face to look at him.

"You neither choose to be born with Innocence nor with Noah genes. The one who finds you first will be the one to shape you. The one betraying your trust will be the one driving you off. That's just the way it is. That's how fate works. Destiny does mean nothing to itself. Destiny happens. Destiny affects others. But being a human…", Ellen turned away from the window and looked at Kanda and he could see the slightly pained expression in her eyes, as she put her knuckles to her mouth, staring out of the glass. "I just cannot accept that". Kanda looked at her for a long time, then he sighed.

"You should not expect pity from me, because you've wronged me", he told her and she remained silent, which caused him to go on "People hurt each other all the time, that's the way they are… If the Noah-Clan or the Earl betrayed you, you should be fine to turn your back at them. That's your decision. To come with me and to let your fate be mine to decide. That's your decision as well. To still go back to the Earl. That too, is your decision. But that doesn't change the fact that you still will be controlled and used by all of us". Kanda knew that his words probably wouldn't comfort her, but he didn't expect her to look at him with tears in her eyes, nor did he expect her to let out a suffocated sob and disappear in one of her black panels.

Kanda stared at the spot where she has vanished, right next to where the table with the Lotus hourglass stood. What reason does she have to cry about it!? That's the way it is! How can she brag about not caring and then go crying at the first best moment?! Kanda fumed, but then he realized that he might have just made a big mistake. If he, as one who could drag her on his side (thus deciding the war for the exorcists), pushed her away – betrayed her like the Earl seemed to have done – then she would turn to the other person who could pull her back to the Earl's side.

"Damn!", Kanda cursed and hit his mattress, "Why couldn't they have chosen someone more sensible than me?!". Seeing no point in waiting in his room for the Noah to reappear and apologize for whatever that upset her, he strapped Mugen to his hip and left his room, slamming the door behind him.

-o-o-o-

_It was shortly after his eighteenth birthday when all of it happened. Kanda was walking down the uneven street, returning form the neighbouring village. His sword, which he had come to call Mugen, was strapped to his hip like usually. Since the first time__ the monster had appeared, years ago, the attacks had gotten more frequent, it was best to be prepared. He looked at the sky; the stars shone brightly and the moon illuminated the path and the fields of the vast landscape. It was a nice night, but Kanda knew at once that something was amiss. Mugen started to send some jolts of tingling energy through his body and he drew the sword out of his sheath before he even saw the monsters coming. Kanda heard an explosion in the distance and right afterwards flames shot up from where his village lay. He cursed and started to run, but the monsters appeared and blocked his path._

"_I don't have time to deal with you!!", he shouted and sliced through them, making his way towards the village. _

_When he reached the village everything lay in ruins and flames were starting to spread. Kanda cursed loudly, destroying every Akuma in sight, hoping to be able to safe at least someone. But all he found were bodies of those hit by the collapsing buildings and piles of dust and clothes of those who were hit by the Akuma. Kanda knew that he had tears streaming down his face while he ran to his own home; a mansion at the end of town. He found it still standing and killed all the Akuma he could find. Kanda breathed heavily while he stepped into his house. It was eerily quite, the long corridor disappeared in darkness. Kanda's nerves were on edge; Mugen pulsated in his hands. There still was something here, hidden in his own house. He heard the old floor creek further ahead and he rushed towards it. He saw a shadow going around the corner and he followed it, but was stopped by a faint cry. He whirled around and ran to the first door, which he opened forcefully. There on the floor he saw his younger sister, fallen out of her bed, seemingly unharmed. _

"_Yu…", she whispered. Kanda breathed out relieved, but then he heard something slam a door and his sister covered her ears. _

"_Stay here!", he ordered and ran out of the room and into the living quarters of his grand-mother. He ran, past all unopened doors where he could either find his siblings and parents alive or dead. He didn't want to know right now, he just wanted to kill the monster! He pushed open the door to his grandmother's room and he found her on her knees._

"_Grand-mother!", he called as he saw blood stain her light blue Kimono. _

"_Yu… Behind you", she croaked as he rushed to her. Kanda froze and turned around; a big creature stood in front of him, different that the others. It looked like a statue, with huge red eyes fixed on him, four arms with sharp claws extended to attack him. Kanda raised his sword and sliced him. But the blow wasn't strong enough to kill it, so it just laughed. Kanda hadn't even known that these creatures could laugh or feel any emotion at all._

"_Innocence!", it screamed an attacked Kanda, piercing his shoulder with its claws and the force of the blow hurled him against the next wall. The pain paralyzed Kanda for some moments while he was desperately trying to get air into his abused lungs. The monster just laughed loudly and his grand-mother screamed his name over and over again. Kanda saw that the monster now turned to his already severely injured grand-mother, slamming its claws into her shoulders. Kanda's eyes widened and he urged himself to move back on his feet. _

"_Stop it!", he screamed and raised his sword, collecting every little bit of power and courage he had left. "Don't touch my family!!", he shouted and, as if Mugen was controlling him, slashed the sword, just cutting air, but the blade released white light and Kanda could see some disgusting insects forming and rushing towards the monster. The thing was visibly surprised and couldn't raise its hands fast enough to counter the attack; it was consumed by the insects and exploded with a gut-wrenching cry. Kanda, seeing that the monster was gone, dropped Mugen and fell to his knees, throwing up._

"_Yu…!", he heard his grand-mother call and looked up, his whole body still shaking. "Yu… I am sorry, even my magic couldn't protect us…", she whispered as he forced himself to crawl to her._

"_Grand-mother", he started seeing how bad her injuries were and that she had barely enough strength left to keep talking. "Don't…"_

"_Ssssh… Darling… Listen to me while I still can explain…", he told him, her warm hands on his arms, "these Monsters are called Akuma, they are weapons made by a evil sorcerer who goes by the name "Earl of Millenium". The Innocence substance in your sword gives you the ability to fight the Akuma…"_

"_Innocence…?", Kanda asked, looking back at the sword which was lying at the floor behind him. "Grand-Mother! What should I do?!". The old woman patted Kanda's hand affectionately._

"_My dear Yu… Take your sister… take her to the port where she can go on one of the ships to Europe. Japan is no longer safe…", she whispered, strength leaving her, but she forced herself to continue. The hand which rested over Kanda's trembled like her whole body and Kanda put his hands around her._

"_Don't die!", he shouted but just earned himself a light chuckle, which vibrated through the old woman's body. _

"_Yu… Don't worry about me…", he whispered, then looked up at him, "go… Go to the house on the outskirts of town. There is a… sorceress. Talk to her", she told him, then she kissed him and closed her eyes, her body falling against Kanda's. Kanda didn't speak, didn't move. He just sat there, his grand-mother in his arms. _

_It took him a long time to calm down so that he could let go of his grand-mother. He carried her to her bed, where he put her down and folded her hands over her chest. He didn't cry, nor did he cry when he had to repeat the same thing with his parents and his other siblings. He returned to his sister's room and they left the house, the young child too afraid to even ask questions._

_The house on the outskirts of town was small, but the lanterns by the door were illuminated. Kanda opened the door, not bothering to announce his arrival. He left his sister standing at the entrance and went inside. He pushed open a door from where he could hear faint singing and the crackle of fire. In front of him he saw a woman sitting on a ruby red chair, she wore a snow white Kimono, her long hair was the same colour and her face was covered by a brown wooden mask._

"_Welcome Yu Kanda, I have awaited your arrival" _

-o-o-o-

Kanda sat in front of the fireplace in an armchair and stared into the fire. Now that he had found the Noah, the memories he had blocked for the last 20 years were coming back to him bit by bit. He never wanted to forget them, but he was done with being a hot blooded youth who acted on hate and revenge alone.

"Kanda? Are you alright?", he frowned and looked to his side were Linali was standing, a worried expression on her face.

"Hm.", was his only reply and she took a seat in the armchair next to his.

"What troubles you?", she asked him, not expecting an answer; she wanted him to know that someone was with him and cared for him. Kanda appreciated her concern, like he appreciated her friendship.

"Just some old memories", he answered, then he turned to Linali, "I should go, that person is waiting". He got up and Linali looked up at him.

"That person? You mean Ellen?", she wanted to know and he nodded – it was to be expected that Komui let something about his true reasons for taking her as a disciple slip, "now that you've found her, what keeps you form calling her by her name?". Kanda looked at her, turned away wordlessly and then he spoke:

"Too much…". With that he left Linali puzzled and went back to his own room, hoping that the Sorceress had returned.

-o-o-o-

When he arrived in his room, the Noah sat on his bed, picking at the fabric of her dress. She looked up and smiled at him as soon as he closed the door and came to stand next to the bed.

"How long have you been sitting here?", he wanted to know and Ellen got up from the mattress, "I don't like you running of".

"I didn't", she replied with a smile, "I have been here for the last three hours". Kanda snorted and put Mugen next to his bed, resting against the wall. Then he took off his uniform and hung it over the coat-stand.

"Why were you crying?", he asked bluntly and she looked at him in mild surprise.

"I don't know, it just happened. It was similar to when someone of the Noah family dies. I couldn't stop it", she answered in nearly a whisper, then she turned to face the Lotus, her hands on the glass' surface. Kanda was silent for a long time, watching her caress the glass affectionately.

"Hm. I wanted to apologize", he told her after a long while and she turned her head to look at him. "My words were too harsh". He observed her face, but she just put on a bright smile.

"Don't worry about me, dear Yu Kanda. I will still not abandon you".

"I'm apologizing to _you._ It's not about you as an exorcist or as a Noah. It's about you as a human", he explained and saw her widen her eyes slightly, then she started to chuckle.

"Thank you. I appreciate it", she answered and let go of the hourglass and went to the wall, where a white door appeared. "Just come in if you need me", she told him, then she opened the door and vanished from his room. Kanda didn't know what to think of it. He didn't even know if the words he had spoken to her were honest. He doubted it, but it was the best thing he could come up. He did need her, he needed her as an exorcist and he needed her as a human so he could make her abandon the rest of her existence, namely her Noah part.

_To be continued_

_Notes:_

_There are various small scenes that bother me, but they still survived editing..._

_How did you like the first glimpes at Kanda's past? As the story progresses I will provide more background for Kanda and Ellen._

_The next chapter will include a bit of romance and a first mission! :D_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Notes:**_

_I'm so sorry that it took me such a long time to update. I'm putting a lot of effort into this story (so it won't turn out to be crappy) and I'm also trying to make my English sound... well... less like Swiss-German with English words. XD Oh well, I guess it's not that bad! Whatever, trying my best means that I have to write carefully and that takes quite long. Ah, and of course there was my stupid linguistics paper to hand in... X/_

_Anyway, as compensation for the long wait I chose to make this chapter a bit longer than the last two (2000 words!), hope you can enjoy. Oh. Maybe I should give a warning: Uh. Pairing ahead? X3 _

_Oh, and this and the next chapter belong to the small arc of "first two missions". Wow, I'm original... X3_

_**Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**_

* * *

FIRST MISSIONS

Ellen walked though the white streets of the Ark's City. The sky was a clear blue and birds flew above her head. The eternal, sunny day was calming her greatly. She left the last houses of the town and reached an open space, in front of her stood a high tower. The Noah approached it and sat on its stone steps, looking up into the sky. The exorcist's words had troubled her more than she would have thought. She should not be caring about this, the way she didn't care if people died. She had the feeling that caring whether she was being controlled or chose for herself was rather selfish. She didn't embody one of Noah's emotions, but something very impersonal. It had been Noah's destiny to do as he was told and it was the Noah's destiny to abide by their nature's ways. She was not a young Noah, she should have got used to it by now… She passed judgement on people and she decided how their life should go on. She had paved the path Yu Kanda was now walking on. She hadn't cared back then, she didn't care now. But the human inside of her was crying in shame.

"Hey. Why the long face, girlie?". A shadow threw itself over Ellen and she raised her head to see a man standing over her, a cigarette between his lips.

"Lord Tyki Mikk. I do not approve of you smoking within my Ark", Ellen told him, turning her head away from him to look at the town. The black haired Noah laughed and took the cigarette out of his mouth. He let himself drop down next to her and took off his black jacket.

"Where have you been? You've never missed a family dinner before", he said and ran his hand through his curly black hair. She turned to look at him and smiled. "Now that's the face I wanted to see!", Tyki exclaimed and grinned charmingly.

"I've excused myself", she told him, got up and walked down the stairs, the laces of her black dress gliding down the stone steps. Tyki watched her move gracefully and turn her head in his direction, a sly smile on her lips.

"Is this smile an invitation? You know that I can't say no to a bit of pleasure", he told her and stood up as well, jacket over his shoulder. The female Noah just continued smiling, turned her head and walked ahead, Tyki following obediently. Ellen opened a door of a seemingly random house and she entered right into a luxurious bedroom. Tyki followed her and closed the door behind him, turning the key, like he always did. The floor was of dark mahogany wood, the walls were decorated with old, but beautiful tapestry and a few portraits in dark frames. The four-poster bed was huge and splendid, with dark red curtains and bed linen. Tyki was a frequent visitor of this room, that's why he stopped admiring it, even though he still found that it was nice.

"Well", he started, unbuttoning his shirt, observing the girl standing by the bed, "let's have some fun".

-o-o-o-

Ellen sat on the edge of the bed, watching Tyki Mikk sleep. The charming man was the only reason why she stayed with the Earl now that they were at the crossroads of time. She was an exorcist now, but he was the force which always dragged her back to the Noah clan. She didn't care what happened, but she didn't want to see him get hurt. She was as attached to Tyki as she had been attached to Mana. Ellen sighed.

"That was such a long time ago…", she thought and brushed Tyki's bangs out of his face, caressing the dark markings on his forehead. "I should go back". She let go of Tyki, stood up and disappeared into the ground.

Kanda was already sitting on the armchair next to the piano when Ellen appeared.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting", she told him and smiled. Kanda raised an eyebrow at her. "I have been in town". The Japanese man didn't answer.

"Komui has a mission for us. We depart tomorrow morning", he told her and got up.

"And where are we headed?", she wanted to know, following him out of the door back to Kanda's room. "I hope you are okay with me following you".

"It's dinner time", Kanda answered and opened the door of his room, "we'll investigate in Scotland. It won't take us long. There's probably no Innocence involved, but masses of level one Akuma". Kanda led her down to the dining hall where they both ordered something to eat.

"You smell of cigarettes. Do you smoke?", Kanda wanted to know when they were sitting next to each other, opposed to two people from the Science Department.

"God, no. Of course not", Ellen said, frowning and smelled her dress, "I can't smell anything". Kanda just looked at her suspiciously, but didn't press the subject further.

"Ellen, we need to take your size, if you don't mind. So we can prepare a uniform for you", the scientist, Johnny, told the women, who nodded.

"Will you be able to finish it in time?", she wondered and Johnny laughed.

"Of course, we work until it's done!", he exclaimed and Ellen smiled.

-o-o-o-

After dinner, Kanda took her back to her piano room in the Ark where they read the mission briefs and discussed.

"As a Noah you can control Akuma, right?", Kanda asked and Ellen nodded, playing a soft tune on her piano.

"I can", she answered nearly singing and Kanda felt at ease, the music calming him. "But I haven't used my Innocence in 25 years", she told him. She lifted her left hand. "But I know how to use it".

"That will be enough… I don't think you'll have a hard time with the Akuma", Kanda answered and got up from the armchair. "I'll come tomorrow morning with your uniform". Ellen nodded, then Kanda left the room.

-o-o-o-

Next morning came fast for the girl. Last night she had returned to her room only to find Tyki still lingering around, on top of that even undressed. He had been put off that she had just disappeared, claiming that this was his job.

"Sometimes I don't know why I even like him…", she told herself and combed her hair. She was sitting in her white room, enjoying the silence, but then Kanda came barging in.

"Here, your uniform", he dropped the clothes in her lap and disappeared again. It went a little too fast for Ellen to wish him a good morning, but she chuckled never the less. Kanda's mood in the morning wasn't that good it seemed. She inspected the clothes; there were black stockings, dark black ankle high shoes, a white petticoat and a black dress, which looked more like a short woman's coat. She didn't worry much about it, not being vain, and put it on. She looked at herself in the mirror and was more or less happy with how it turned out; the skirt only reached to the middle of her thighs and the laces of the petticoat were visible.

"A little bit short, really. Rhode Camelot would surely like this", she spoke to herself, but then she braided her hair and left the room. Kanda was already waiting for her and looked at her uniform.

"Che. Idiots, I told them that such short skirts were of no use in battle", Kanda complained, but Ellen just chuckled. "Let's get going".

Kanda led the way out of the room and down to the waterways where Komui was already waiting to give last instructions.

"There probably is no Innocence, but sightings of Akuma moving in large groups are a bit unnerving. Please investigate into this matter. It's a secluded area, so you don't have to worry about civilians getting harmed". Both of the Exorcists nodded and got into a small boat. "Take care!"

-o-o-o-

When they were on their train to Scotland, Kanda thought that they could speak freely again; a General was not accompanied by Finders, so he didn't need to worry about someone overhearing their conversation.

"What reason could Akuma have to go to a secluded area and this in great masses?", he wanted to know.

"Well, either there is Innocence, there are people or the Earl commanded them to go there. But large masses of Akuma don't go unnoticed, so if he tried to do something secretly that's not how he would do it. This reduced the option to the presence of either Innocence or people", Ellen answered. "We Noahs only work with level two and upwards Akuma, so there will be no other Noah either". Kanda thought about that for a while.

"Can't you feel Innocence? The Akuma always seem to know when there is Innocence to be found", he wanted to know. Ellen, who had been looking out of the window, turned her head in his direction.

"Well, if we could then I would not be able to. Akuma are sensible to Innocence because they are made of dark matter, the counterpart of Innocence. If you have forgotten, Yu Kanda, I have Innocence in my body". Kanda frowned.

"Che. Why didn't the Earl destroy your Innocence or kill you? I'm sure that a Noah with Innocence would be bothering him", he said and Ellen stayed silent. "Fine. Don't answer if you don't want to".

"Because I'm the Noah of Destiny. A creature like him can't possibly kill me. I can only affect humans and only humans can affect me", she explained after a while and Kanda looked at her.

"Which basically translates to: only a human will be able to kill you?", he asked and Ellen nodded.

"An Akuma might as well…", she told him and brushed her hair out of her face. Kanda saw the pentacle over her left eyebrow and wondered about it.

"Is that a tattoo or a curse?", he wanted to know and Ellen looked at him, then she pointed at the pentacle.

"This here?", Kanda nodded, "It is a curse, inflicted on me by an Akuma". Kanda frowned and folded his arms over his chest.

"That doesn't make sense…", he commented and Ellen smiled at him.

"No… It doesn't…", she whispered as reply and Kanda didn't doubt that she spoke the truth.

"Fine. Let's leave this matter untouched. Tell me how old you are". Ellen looked at him with mild surprise in her eyes and a smile playing on her lips.

"My goodness, don't you know that's impolite to ask a lady's age?", she asked, quite amused, especially at Kanda's face. "I have stopped aging with 15, when I first became a Noah. That was 40 years ago."

"Che. That's a long time, hard to believe that you could possibly want to change sides", Kanda said, but Ellen just smiled at him wordlessly, "you must have caused a lot of damage in these past 40 years". Ellen's smile vanished for only the blink of an eye.

"Well, I guess that I have destroyed lives from the day that I was born", she answered and Kanda raised his eyebrows in silent inquiry. Ellen lifted her left arm and held it out to Kanda as if she would be showing him a ring. "I was born with this arm. Back then it was red and deformed, it must have barely looked like a real arm to my poor parents. They abandoned me, I am sure they must have suffered greatly". Ellen laughed while saying this, but it was not humorous, but rather dark. "Yes, I have destroyed a lot of lives. But I've never attacked the Black Order or its allies. The Earl was waiting for the right moment and sent someone else to do the job"

"You mean the hunt for the generals", Kanda spoke up and the girl nodded, still smiling. Kanda was silent for some time. He too was a general now, but hadn't been attacked yet, though he was ready for it to happen at any time. "What about me? Is my name on any 'to erase' list?". Ellen looked up at him and chuckled.

„Dear Yu Kanda, don't worry so much. You're in no more danger than most of the exorcists", she answered, then turned her head to look out of the window.

"When you cursed me, did you know about all those prophecies and possible futures?", Kanda wanted to know, because his curse was the reason he was an exorcist and a general on top of that; without it he would have died years ago. Ellen looked at him from the corners of her eyes.

"I did not. But I knew that the time would come for the great battle. I secured you a position in it", she answered, "Which now is nearly the only hope for the Black Order"

"Che. Well thank you", Kanda hissed and glared at her, though she remained completely unmoved. "But why me? Just a random choice?!". He watched the Noah close her eyes, utter a defeated sigh and open them again.

"A lot of things must seem random in the eyes of humans… But things do have their purpose… It is true, I could have chosen anyone who would now be in your position. But you came to me, looking for exactly that thing which I wanted to give".

"But why were you in my village?", Kanda wanted to know and Ellen turned her head in his direction.

"Because Japan is the Earl's base. I was always wandering the country, but I rarely came in contact with the people - my appearance would have scared them". Kanda raised an eyebrow and Ellen pointed to her head. "My white hair, it's quite strange, don't you think? And then there's my curse. And I'm a foreigner".

„Is your hair white because of your Noah genes?", Kanda asked, but Ellen shook her head.

"It's because of the curse… I had brown hair...", she answered, "but I've gotten used to it now… It's been like this for 25 years".

"How come I never see you in your Noah form?", Kanda wanted to know, though he really didn't want to see it. Ellen looked at him and leaned forward a bit, to study Kanda's face.

"Why? Would you like to see it?", she asked in a whisper and raised her right hand to touch Kanda's cheek. He saw her fingertips change their colour to a pale grey.

"No. I don't", he told her and the grey colour of her skin vanished as Ellen drew back her hand.

"That is for the best. Because I know that some Noahs are being controlled by their nature as soon as they transform. I do not know what my Innocence would do if I transformed now", she said in an amused voice.

"I don't think that's funny, witch", Kanda answered grimly, "Innocence can go against its host if it's betrayed. You'd turn into a fallen one". Ellen looked at him and smiled.

"Do not worry about such things. I told you; the Innocence and my Noah genes are in delicate balance. I managed to survive for the last 40 years, why should that change now?"

"Because back then you were a Noah with Innocence, Noahs are not forced to destroy Innocence. But now you're an exorcist with Noah genes, the Innocence will probably know that… It might happen that the Innocence will try to destroy you", Kanda told her, but Ellen just continued smiling despite the rather gloomy topic.

"If it comes to that, I'll just rip my arm off", she announced and Kanda thought she was crazy for even thinking about such a thing. "Don't pull such a face. I am a Noah, you know I can destroy Innocence"

"Do what you want, but I'll probably stop you – we cannot lose anymore Innocence or we'll lose this war", he retorted and Ellen smiled brightly.

"Oh, you don't have to. I said I'll rip my arm off", she touched her shoulder, "the Innocence will not be harmed in the process".

"Don't you value your body?", Kanda asked darkly, his eyebrows lowered. Ellen just continued smiling and shook her head.

"No, why should I?". Kanda wanted to not give an answer, he didn't have to understand her after all, but if maybe he could make her see that she would be better off as a human, she might turn her back at the Earl.

"Because you're a human after all… I know that you told me that destiny does not care, but if you had to give up your arm, it certainly wouldn't feel all too nice", he said, not really knowing how he could try to convince her. He wasn't very sensitive to begin with.

"Yu Kanda, this arm has given me bad luck since I was born, I have wished many times to get rid of it", the Noah answered and Kanda looked at her.

"And what kept you from doing it?", he wanted to know and Ellen's smile slipped, as she lowered her head. Kanda thought that he had said enough; as he didn't know the answer to the question nor if the Noah did herself, it was best to leave it at that. "We'll arrive in half an hour", he announced after he had pulled out his pocket watch.

"Very well"

"From the station we will still have to walk a bit", Kanda further said and put the watch back. The Noah looked out of the window and nodded.

-o-o-o-

The station they arrived at was pretty small and deserted, nothing more than a simple raised platform in between green fields and a road leading to the nearest village.

"Is this where we are going?", Ellen asked and pointed at the distant town, but Kanda shook his head.

"No, it's further north. Komui told us that it's deserted"

"But why does a town get deserted in this region nowadays?", the Noah wanted to know, jumping down the platform gracefully, while Kanda took the stone steps.

"No clue. But it might be linked to Innocence as it is able to change its environment. We don't know yet, because the finders who were responsible for getting the information were called back as soon as they sighted the Akuma", he replied and they started walking over the grass fields.

"Yes. There are a lot of Akuma nearby", Ellen spoke up after some time and they reached the top of a small hill. "I can feel it, but no other Noah, as I have predicted". Both of them looked down and could see the ruins of a town. In the centre stood a small church, which was least damaged.

"Well. I see neither Akuma nor humans. But there's a strange tingling coming from Mugen; there must be Innocence", Kanda announced and they started their way down the slope. Suddenly Ellen raised her hand and stopped Kanda, who nearly stumbled because of it.

"What are you doing, witch?!", he hissed, but she just stared ahead.

"There is a barrier here", she said and Kanda raised his eyebrows, "it's been erected by Innocence". She lifted her left Innocence hand and Kanda saw it disappear into nothingness. "Well. Let us go inside, I think that we might just find some interesting things" Without waiting for Kanda's answer the girl disappeared. The general snorted, but took Mugen in his hand and entered the barrier as well.

Ellen was standing a few steps further ahead looking around. Kanda frowned at the sight. It was night and the town – before in ruins – lay silently before them. Some buildings were still in ruins, but it was not neglect which had destroyed them; many level one Akuma glided through the sky and the streets without doing anything. Ellen and Kanda continued their way into the village. There were no people in sight, but both of them knew that there had to be some as suggested by the piles of clothes and dust on the ground.

"How unsettling, these people must have been locked into this town for a long time and suddenly Akuma appeared. This must be a situation akin to war for them", Ellen said and raised her hand. Kanda watched her intently as the claw extended and became black with long silver fingers, which seemed as sharp as the blade of Mugen.

"Can I leave this to you then?", Kanda asked as they walked to the town square, the Akuma already gathering because the arrival of the exorcists has not gone unnoticed.

"Yes, Yu Kanda", Ellen said and he observed how her left eye changed, something like a monocle with a gear around it appearing in front of it, suddenly Kanda could see some strange creatures hovering over the Akuma.

"Are these… The souls of the Akuma?", he asked and Ellen nodded. It took him mere seconds to get over the shock and with a firm voice he said: "remember to kill them with Innocence, or their souls will be lost". Ellen nodded again and took a few steps forward. The Akuma were not attacking her, probably because they were programmed to obey the Noah clan. Ellen lifted her arms and suddenly flew up into the sky. She raised both of her hands over her head and started to move as if she were dancing. In mere seconds she destroyed all of the Akuma gracefully. She landed next to Kanda and smiled at him.

"These were no challenge at all, but that is good for me", she said and Kanda snorted. "I guess the Innocence is in the church". They walked to the building and pushed open the doors. In its darkness nothing was visible, so Ellen lifted her hand and balls of glittering light appeared behind her.

"It seems that having a witch as a partner comes in handy", Kanda said with a smirk and looked around. To his surprise people were staring at them from behind benches and pillars. Kanda raised an eyebrow, but walked past the benches and people towards the altar, where he saw a shimmering object resting on a golden plate.

"Y… You! What are you doing here!? Where did you come from?!", a man shouted and blocked Kanda's path to the Innocence.

"Out of the way", Kanda growled, but some other people joined the other villager, which made Kanda groan.

"We are exorcists. We were sent to destroy the monsters which have haunted your town", Ellen spoke up, "we have done that. But this object is the reason why you were cut off from the outside world. We have to take it so everything can return to normal".

"You… killed these things?", one of the villagers asked and Kanda nodded, "oh, thank God!". Kanda pushed his way through the people and took the Innocence. Before he could turn around to leave Ellen took his arm.

"Good bye", she said to the villagers and Kanda felt a tug. They both glided into the floor and suddenly were in the white piano room.

"Why have you done that?", Kanda asked confusedly. Ellen sat on the piano stool, but he could see that something was wrong. "Hey"

"I felt the presence of a Noah", she said and looked at him. Kanda raised both his eyebrows, "Lord Tyki Mikk was about to open the doors of the church"

"What?! We should have fought him!", he shouted, "take us back!"

"I will not, Yu Kanda. I do not think that you would be strong enough to defeat him. If he saw me with you and got away it would have had catastrophic effects". Kanda grinded his teeth and let himself drop into the armchair.

"This curly-haired Noah has killed many exorcist, even a general, to think that I missed the chance to kill him…", he hissed and Ellen turned to look at him.

"I told you… I do not think that you are ready yet to kill Tyki Mikk, he might not be that strong but his abilities are frightening". Kanda looked at her grave face for some moments, then he averted his eyes.

"Che. Suit yourself", he spat and Ellen started to play a calm song. "Any clue as to why he showed up?". Ellen shook her head and closed her eyes, still playing. Kanda knew that there was no sense in trying to ask her more; she wouldn't tell, he was sure of it. "Is the travelling through space your ability as Noah?", he finally asked and Ellen turned to look at him.

"No, it is not. It is my special ability as player of the Ark. Without the Ark I would not be able to move through space".

"Then what is it?", he wanted to know and she stopped playing, "can't you tell?", Kanda continued as he saw that she rather looked at the floor than at him.

"I can manipulate whatever I want to. The environment… the people. I am not sure if this is the power my Noah genes have granted me, but it is a special gift I have had for years", she explained, "that's how I do magic and how I work – as a Noah". Kanda heard from the uneasy way she talked that she had forced herself to say it, though he couldn't phantom why she would feel uneasy about it.

"But you use this ability for the Earl I take it?", he asked and Ellen remained silent. The general frowned, but it didn't take him long to come to a conclusion. "Because you will not kill exorcists – because you cannot I understood – you'll influence them or the people around them, in different ways"

"Yes, Yu Kanda. This I do", she said and he jumped onto his feet. He was feeling restless and angry, but he didn't want to unleash his rage onto the Noah, because her cooperation was of great importance, so he decided to stomp through the room. The girl followed his movements with her eyes, but didn't speak up again.

"That's what you did to me, you manipulated me", Kanda finally said, coming to stand next to her piano, his hand gripping the white surface.

"In many ways", Ellen said silently, but calmly, facing his way. Kanda just glared at her, his eyes showed anger mixed with surprise, but he just groaned and put his hand over his face. He left his hand lingering there for a few minutes, then he pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes still tightly shut, then he removed his hand to stare at her.

"What was the great plan? I don't buy your "you wanted what I provided" answer anymore! Surely there was a reason why you were at the outskirt of my village!". Ellen still returned his intense stare with her mild gaze. If he wanted the truth now, fine. She would tell him the truth.

"The Earl of Millennium was always trying to expand his territory. He sent Akuma out to various villages and towns he deemed suitable, yours was no exception. But the Akuma that were charged with killing the people of your town never returned to the Earl. He thought nothing of it at first, because there were too many regions and other things he had to attend to. Then he started to suspect that there was an exorcist or at least Innocence, preventing his Akuma from succeeding to kill the villagers. So he sent me there".

"You…", Kanda started, but just couldn't find the words, so he settled with just grabbing her shoulder, "you are responsible for the deaths of the villagers and my family?", he hissed, his face very close to the Noah's, but she did not draw back.

"I supervised the Akuma, yes", she answered and Kanda snapped. He grabbed the fabric of her dress and hurled the girl to the ground, dropping to his knees next to her, keeping her pinned to the floor.

"How can you answer me so coldly?! Don't you feel any shame?!", he shouted, "how can you even still look me in the eyes after all you've done?!". The Noah didn't reply and just looked up at him.

"Fate can seem senseless and even cruel to a mere human… Because he lacks the ability to see the greater picture…", she answered, "so do you…". Kanda couldn't reply, so he just stared at her. The Noah closed her eyes and then locked back up at him. "You don't know how much I have sacrificed to keep you alive", she whispered and her eyes held the same desperate emotion as her voice did. Kanda stared down at her, and the Noah had to push at his chest to get him to move. He got up wordlessly and observed her doing the same, dusting off her uniform without looking at him.

"Keep me alive? How?", he asked, slightly taken aback by the things she had said. He didn't know why he was shocked by it, but her emotion had seemed so… _real_. "Excuse me. My rage was uncalled for", he added, as she didn't give an answer. "Damn", he cursed inwardly, "I have to keep my emotions under control! But… she's the one responsible for the massacre!! How could I possibly be unmoved by it?! Even after 20 years!". Ellen sat back onto the piano stool and started to play another song. "Oi", Kanda called to remind her of his existence.

"I told the Earl that there was no exorcist in town when I got there, giving you the opportunity to flee", she answered, "And I gave you the Lotus Charm… do not think lightly of it, it's the most powerful magic I was able to perform…". Kanda frowned. For him this "charm" was everything else than something he cherished, but she knew; there was no point in reminding her right now.

"And the Earl believed you?", he asked, "how did you explain the loss of such a huge mass of Akuma?". Ellen stopped playing and looked at Kanda, who now leant against the piano.

"I do not know if he believed me – I do not know how faithful he takes me to be. I told him that I destroyed the Akuma, but didn't give him a reason why". Ellen smiled at him, "The Earl was not happy with me, so he locked me up in the Noah mansion for quite some time"

"Then what did you sacrifice? The trust of the Earl?", the Exorcist wanted to know with a sneer. Ellen raised her head to meet his eyes; hers were cold, bottomless pits of misty grey which stood in contrast to the gentle smile playing on her lips.

"My dear Yu Kanda. I never had his trust and it's not something I was hoping to gain", she said, but wouldn't explain what exactly she had had to sacrifice for him. Kanda didn't doubt that the decision to go against the Earl was something which weighted heavily on the Noah's shoulders, but he still thought that the thing she had given up must have been something trivial – at least it would be in his eyes. But as she didn't want to explain there was no way that he would know. After watching her for some time, in which neither of them moved and silence reigned between them, Kanda sighed deeply and pushed himself away from the piano.

"Well then. Thanks for whatever sacrifice you made", he said and she nodded wordlessly – not the reaction he would have hoped for, "I'm going to give the Innocence to Komui". Ellen pushed a key of her piano and the familiar door appeared before him.

"Very well. I will see you later", she said and turned back to the piano, where she sat motionlessly. Kanda didn't comment on it and left the white room.

-o-o-o-

Kanda pushed the door to the Science department open and rushed to Komui's office without paying attention to anyone who dared to talk to him.

"Oh, Kanda! Back already?", it was Linali who greeted him in Komui's office, carrying a tray with empty coffee mugs with her, "how did it go?"

"Fine, not much to do there, that's why we're back early", he said and went to Komuis desk. The man was looking at him with a bright smile and gladly took the Innocence.

"I take it that you and Ellen haven't encountered any problems?". Kanda shook his head, even though it was more or less a lie. If he had been there on his own, he would have met Tyki Mikk, but the man didn't need to know. "The Innocence then has attracted the masses of Akuma?"

"We have not found another reason for it, so we assume that the Innocence drew them to the town", Kanda answered, "you will have my report shortly". Komui nodded, but stopped him, when he wanted to leave.

"What about Ellen? How did she fare on her first mission?", he wanted to know and Kanda frowned.

"Good. She's my disciple. I wouldn't have it otherwise", he replied, hoping to shut the supervisor up with it. The Chinese man laughed good-naturedly.

"Ah, glad to hear that. But another thing", he said, eyeing Kanda intently, "has she gotten a new room yet?". Kanda raised an eyebrow, "she can't stay in your room forever. As far as I know yours is pretty small, has a cracked window and only one bed. How have you managed until now?"

"That's nothing of your business, Komui", Kanda spat, but Komui just sighed dramatically, "oh please, stop this nonsensical sighing. It's nothing you should concern yourself with". But Komui didn't even think about letting Kanda off like that. The Japanese man threw a look at Linali, who at least had the decency to turn around and pretend not to be listening.

"I can imagine that you want to keep her close all the time, because she's _that person_. I don't know if you two are romantically involved", Kanda made a disgusted face, at which Komui laughed, "but if you'll have her staying in your room I demand that you'll make it comfortable for her. Either get a bigger room or fix your window and get another bed". Kanda rolled his eyes, but Komui wasn't done preaching yet, "and remember: she's only 15 years old and you know that – seeing as we abide by roman catholic law – you'll only be allowed to marry her in a year, when she turns 16 and you 20"

"I assure you, Komui, that I have no intention to enter into holy matrimony with her", he said, very calmly, "I will do everything in my ability to keep her at my side, as this will be very important to everyone of us", he avoided to speak about the prophecy because Linali was nearby, "but this is not the way I intended to do it". Komui smiled at him and nodded.

"Very well. You are old enough to be reasonable", he said and Kanda saw this as his cue to be able to leave the office.

Everything would be easier if he could say the truth – that the witch didn't need a room because she always disappeared into her Ark – but that was impossible. He had to deal with the consequences even if everyone jumped to conclusions. The Noah was beautiful, yes, and she wasn't a horrible person, but she has done abominable things, there was no way that he could forgive her that easily.

"Hey Yu!!". Kanda groaned, just his luck to run into Rabi when he was already annoyed. He heard the young man catch up to him and only stopped when they reached the stairs to the next floor. "That's quite a scary face you're pulling. Don't tell me that's because of me??", he said and laughed as Kanda lowered his eyebrows darkly.

"Che. Imbecile", he spat and started to climb the stairs to the living room quarter.

"Aw, come on! Tell old Rabi what's bothering you!", the red-head suggested and followed him to the lounge. Kanda sat onto the couch in front of the fireplace, Rabi taking a seat next to him, stretching. "Is it about Ellen?". Kanda shot him a dark glare, but Rabi's smile didn't falter. Heck, he might as well talk to Rabi, Kanda decided, for the boy was rather good at dealing with people.

"We were arguing", he answered and the other exorcist looked at him quite surprised – he probably hadn't expected to even receive an answer.

"Uh… Why?", he wanted to know and Kanda groaned.

"We weren't _really_ arguing", he continued.

"Yes. You were probably shouting and she just remained silent", Rabi said and scratched his cheek, "well, it's not that bad for couples to argue from time to time"

"We're no couple you idiot", the general spat and Rabi looked at him, "you should know that I wouldn't take a disciple on the basis of beauty, I'm not Cross". Rabi laughed and nodded with a wide smile.

"Well, I guess you aren't. I was pretty surprised to find you in the company of a woman. You know… I almost assumed", Rabi's voice dropped to a whisper and he moved nearer to Kanda, "that you were attracted to men". Kanda just glared at him and punched him against his upper arm – hard enough to make Rabi take refuge at the other end of the couch. "You don't have to get violent! You just never had a girl-friend!"

"Because I had other things to worry about and I still have. We all have if you've forgotten", Kanda reminded him and the bookman successor deemed it safe to go back to his seat next to Kanda.

"I haven't… You're still looking for _that-person_, right? Don't you have any clue where they are?", Rabi asked and Kanda raised his eyebrows.

"Didn't Linali or Komui tell you?", Kanda asked sceptically and Rabi looked at him with confusion in his green eye. "The girl… She's _that-person_".

"What? Huh? She is? A girl?! You've been looking for a girl? All these years?", Rabi shouted and put his hands on Kanda's shoulders, "I never knew that you're such a romantic person! And I thought your motivation was revenge or something stupid as that!", he said one arm covering his eyes dramatically, "Yu! I'm so proud of you!". Kanda slammed the handle of Mugen against Rabi's stomach and the youth let go of him immediately, gasping and hunching over.

"I can't stand your drama!", the general hissed, putting Mugen back on the couch next to him – still close enough to reach should Rabi do another stupid thing. Rabi was still trying to catch his breath, but shot a smirk in Kanda's direction.

"But you're quite strange. How long have you been looking for her? 10 years? She's only 15!", he exclaimed and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"For a bookman, who cherishes historical accuracy and should always double check with his sources, you're pretty fast to jump to conclusion", he said and Rabi folded his arms behind his head, smiling mischievously. "She's connected to _this_", he said tapping against his chest, Rabi, catching on instantly, sat up straight. His eye sparkled with interest and Kanda inwardly groaned – that's what he got from telling him too much. But the general knew that Rabi would not pester him about it, he was supposed to be a bookman after all; he collected histories never to be read by the general masses.

"It was all about the tattoo then? Are you trying to get rid of it or enhance its abilities?", Rabi wanted to know.

"I want to get rid of it eventually", he said and Rabi nodded. The general hesitated for a while, but then he sighed, which had Rabi look up at him. "Rabi, I need you to do me a favour". The red-head raised both of his eyebrows, never having heard Kanda request anything before.

"W… Of course", he replied, too surprised to add any remark.

"Find out as much about the _Lotus Charm _as possible. But don't tell anyone you're doing it, just report to me what you've found". Rabi nodded, "as compensation for your troubles I'll let you record my history".

"What…? You'll tell me…? Really?", the bookman successor asked, not sure whether to be utterly surprised or excited. Kanda nodded and Rabi balled his hands into fists.

"Yes!! I'll work hard! I won't fail you!", he shouted and jumped up. But Kanda caught him by the hem of his shirt and dragged him back down.

"You are not to talk to anyone about it, no matter what you find out!", he hissed in a whisper and Rabi nodded.

"What? Is it some dark secret?", he whispered back and Kanda glared at him. "Okay, I get it! I won't tell, even if I found out that you are the Earl". Kanda shook his head annoyed and rolled his eyes. "I'll be off! There's a lot of reading to do!"

"Don't forget your missions as an exorcist you imbecile!", the General shouted after him, but Rabi had already disappeared. Kanda sighed and left the lounge as well. The reason he finally decided to ask Rabi about it was that he doubted that the Noah would give him enough answers. He now knew that his curse was connected to a Noah, if Rabi found this out he wouldn't be surprised anymore. But it was unsure whether there even existed information about the charm. Then again, Rabi's research could also provide him with information about the Noah of Destiny. It couldn't be bad to really know who he was dealing with.

-o-o-o-

When Kanda returned to his room, Ellen stood next to the hourglass, her hands against the cool surface.

"Welcome back, Yu Kanda", she whispered, without turning to him, moving her hands up and down slightly in a gentle movement; it made Kanda shudder involuntarily.

"What is it?", he asked, "I have to write a report"

"I don't suppose you told your superior of our almost encounter with Tyki Mikk?", was her counter question, which had Kanda raise his eyebrows in surprise.

"Why should I do that? I would have had a hard time explaining why we didn't stay to fight him…", he sat on his bed, "it would be good to know why he was there though… The whole incident could mean trouble… First the Innocence which shut off an entire town, then the appearance of Akuma and then the Noah". Ellen remained silent for some time while Kanda was searching for clues in his memory.

"I can ask him what his current mission was", she spoke up and Kanda raised his head, "he shouldn't suspect anything".

"Fine. Is there any way to contact you just in case we have another mission? It would be hard to explain where you've disappeared to". Ellen hesitated, but then she let go of the hourglass' surface and went to the door which connected Kanda's room to the Ark.

"Follow me", she said and opened the door. Kanda got up from the bed and went in after her. Ellen lifted the cover of the piano stool in the white room and took out a golden box, richly decorated. She put the box on the piano and opened it. Kanda looked over her shoulder and saw a golden ball, as big as his hand, with a cross on its surface, four tiny feet, a long tail and wings attached to its back. It came to life and flew up into the air, where it hovered for some time.

"This is a golem, his name is Timcampy", Ellen said and the ball flew on top of Ellen's head, where it stayed nested into her white hair.

"T… I've seen this thing before", the general said and Ellen looked at him, "With General Cross Marian". Ellen smiled at him and nodded. "He has been missing for years now! Is he dead that you have his golem?!"

"No, what are you thinking? Marian Cross is fine", Kanda stared at her, not trusting her words, "I started to turn away from the Earl 25 years ago… That's when I first met Marian Cross. Do trust me on this", she took Timcampy from her head and handed him to Kanda, "here. Take him. Speak to him and I will hear you". Timcampy flew out of her hands and landed on Kanda's shoulder.

"What about General Cross?", he asked and Ellen smiled at him.

"He taught me how to use my Innocence. Let's say that I was his disciple and he was mine", with these words the Noah slipped into one of her black panels and was gone. Kanda frowned, then he locked at Timcampy.

"Fine. I'll believe her. For now", he turned and left the Ark.

_To be continued..._

_**Notes:**_

There, you have it. Tyki + Ellen. I'm a Tyki x Allen fan, but I like Kanda x Allen better... w  
Is some sort of plot starting to show? I guess it's still very hard to tell where this story is headed... But we have come to know a lot of things.  
I hope you were able to enjoy it so far! :3


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes:**

Sorry for the delay. Stupid computer. Well, I'm back. Unfortunately this chapter is shorter than the previous three. But just because I cut the last chapter at a later scene (resulting in it being quite long). I wanted this chapter to be mostly centering around Ellen in her Noah environment. Hope it works. XD

I'm sorry for all those who read this for Yullen. I know that most of you don't want Tyki + Ellen content, but to keep the development of the story within realistic boundaries, you have to bear with me for a bit longer. I hope it will all make sense as the story progresses.

On another note; I nearly finished the Rome arc (that means another two chapters wait to be edited) but I don't know yet what will follow. So updates might not follow that fast because I have to think about the next steps for plot development.

**Warnings: Tyki-ness, Lulubell and maybe spoilerish musing about Mana**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

Ellen was walking through the empty streets of the Ark, her usual long dress flowing around her feet. She had taken another step away from the Earl and towards the sides of the exorcists. She actually wanted to stay in-between, unbiased, unmoved and uncaring. But the human girl inside of her was just too hard to kill. Ellen, not sensing anybody inside of the Ark, opened the door of a random house and stepped into it, arriving at her own room. The young girl went to her windows and sad on the bench. Outside were green fields, which stretched to the horizon and opened up into a vast blue. It was a very peaceful sight and Ellen found herself relaxing slightly.

"Look at this beauty…", resounded the words in her head and she shut her eyes, "all of it will be drowned in dark chaos… Do you really want to let this happen?". Ellen opened her eyes again and looked at the mirror, where she could see a dark figure looming behind her, its dark coat floating. "I understand, Mana", she whispered and got up, walking towards the mirror and putting her hands on its cold surface. The dark figure did the same. "Your touch… it has always been warm. But whenever your memory touches me… It's cold…". She drew back her hand and turned away from the mirror. "I know what I have to do. But I don't know if I can be as strong as you were". Ellen left the room and found herself in the dimly lit corridors of the Noah mansion. The floor was of rich dark colour and the tapestry on the wall was a deep purple, with dark pictures in frames. Ellen had never liked this place because the shadows seemed to be alive and crawling after her. But she had lived in less comfortable places and seen worse things than shadows. She walked to the end of the corridor and down the big hall, which lead down to the floor below.

"Ahh. Ellen, good evening to you", she heard someone speak up and looked down. Next to the stairs stood the Earl, grinning up at her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, dear Earl of Millenium", she said and made a curtsey to him. "Would you happen to know of Lord Tyki Mikk's current stay?".

"He has just returned, dear Ellen. Come, join us for dinner", he said and she came down the stairs. He looked at her and cocked his head to the side. "Each time I see you I must worry. You still wear these depressing clothes, even though I bring you new dresses all the time", he said and led her down the corridor to the dining room.

"You know I'm still mourning…", she said and the Earl laughed.

"Yes. But 25 years are quite long for the uncaring destiny", he said and they entered the dining room, where a round table with many chairs was placed, but only three of them were occupied. "I guess white would suite you very well", the Earl said and sat down at the table.

"As you wish", the Noah replied and sat down next to Tyki, "Good evening to you, Rhode Camelot, Lulubell and Tyki Mikk", she greeted.

"Ellen's back! Let's play dolls again!", Rhode chirped and reached for the food.

"Don't just claim her, Rhode", Tyki complained and put his hand on Ellen's, who turned to smile at him. Rhode pouted and turned to Lulubell, who was taking off her glasses to look at the two.

"So this is affection", she said and Rhode rolled her eyes at her.

"I think you're giving Tyki too much credit. As if he'd really care…", she said, which had Tyki glare at her.

"Children, I don't want you fighting at the dinner table", the Earl said, "just eat now". The Noahs obliged and started eating in silence, though Rhode would occasionally steal sly glances at Tyki, who glared in return.

"Ellen, by the way, I have a mission for you", the Earl spoke up and Ellen looked at him.

"Yes?" He handed her a small card.

"I need you to go to this place and do some meddling. Take no Akuma with you, we need to keep a low profile for now". Ellen nodded and put the card in a small pocket of her dress.

"Of course, excuse me please, I need to make preparations", she said and put her fork down.

"Let me accompany you", Tyki said and rose out of his chair to help her do the same.

"Of course", Ellen said and together they left the dining room, Tyki's hand on the small of her back, guiding her gently.

"Hm! Don't you want to do anything against their flirting?", Rhode asked with a pout, "he's taking away my doll!". The Earl laughed and shook his head amusedly.

"Why would I do that? Leave them. As long as we have Tyki, Ellen Walker will stay with us", he said and Lulubell put her glasses back on.

"You use him as a substitute for Mana Walker?", she asked and the Earl made a dismissive gesture with his hand, still laughing.

"Of course not! I think Tyki is even more precious. And he certainly won't turn against us"

"So you're saying that he's the final lock to keep Ellen caged to our side", Rhode said with a smile and the Earl grinned, without giving an answer.

"It's late; you better start doing your homework, Rhode"

-o-o-o-

"You seem a bit restless, girlie", Tyki stated after he had followed her into her bedroom. He didn't even wait for an answer and started to get undressed. Ellen sat on the bench at the window and stared outside.

"I am not", she said and took out the card. _Meddling_, she recalled and huffed silently.

"Well, you surely look like you're brooding", she heard Tyki say and raised her eyes from the letters on the card. "You never pulled that face after receiving a mission. Don't tell me", Tyki said and let himself fall onto the bed just in his underwear, "that you start to develop something like guilt". He supported his weight on his elbows and looked at her, "it doesn't become you". Ellen sighed wordlessly and put the card away. She hadn't forgotten what her mission as exorcist was and now was the time to get started.

"What have you been up to? The Earl of Millennium told me that you had just returned when I got back", she said and sat on the bed, facing away from Tyki. The man sat up again and started to loosen the bands which held her dress together.

"Why are you asking?"

"Because I am worrying about you", Ellen replied and turned her head a bit, so she could look at him, out of the corners of her eyes. In return, he looked up at her with a frown. The female Noah turned her head back to stare at the wall, "I know that you are strong, but as far as I know the exorcists have grown in numbers". Tyki pushed the black fabric down the other Noah's shoulders and kissed her pale skin gently.

"The Earl put the Generals-hunt on hold for the time being. The number of undiscovered Innocence outweighs the ones already in the possession of the exorcists. We randomly send Akuma out and if they react we know that we have found Innocence". Ellen nodded and Tyki drew his hand through her white hair. "Enough talking about work, alright?", he said and put both hands around her middle, pulling her down onto the mattress. Ellen looked up at Tyki, who bended over her, pulling the fabric of the dress away to reveal her unmarred white skin. She smiled gently up at him.

"Yes, Tyki Mikk, let us not talk about it".

-o-o-o-

Ellen awoke to a strange buzz in her ears and she opened her eyes. Tyki Mikk was still lying next to her, sleeping peacefully and the moonlight flooded the room.

"_Witch_!". Ellen opened her eyes fully and sat up abruptly, which earned her a groan from Tyki. "_We have a mission! Hurry up_". The noise in her head died down and Ellen sighed. How could she have forgotten; she had given Kanda the opportunity to communicate with her through Timcampy. She put both of her hands on Tyki's shoulders and leant down to kiss him gently. He cracked an eye open.

"What's the matter?", he asked and put his arm around her waist. She smiled at him, then removed her hands from him.

"I need to go now, I have a mission", she said and climbed over her lover's body, Tyki only letting go reluctantly.

"Fine. You don't mind that I go back to sleep, do you?", he asked and yawned.

"Not at all, Tyki Mikk", she said and put on her clothes, "good-bye". She disappeared and Tyki pulled the covers up to get some more hours of sleep.

-o-o-o-

The Noah appeared right in Kanda's bedroom, startling the general, who was just pulling on his uniform.

"Don't just appear in my bedroom!", he hissed, "where's your uniform? Get changed!", he said but when he looked back up at her she already wore her exorcist's uniform. He didn't bother asking about it; she was a witch after all. "Let's go". Kanda took Timcampy and hid him in his coat, then they both left the room.

"Off to another mission?", Rabi asked, when they met him at the door to the waterways. "Be sure that I'll have some information as soon as you get back". Kanda nodded, then he pushed the Noah through the door and they went down the stairs to where the boats departed. They got in a gondola-like boat, Kanda steering it.

"Is this another mission with level one sightings?", the Noah asked and Kanda nodded.

"Yes, he could just dispatch regular exorcists there! These missions are below me", he hissed.

"Well, I am not comfortable with them either", Ellen answered, which instantly caught Kanda's attention.

"How come?", he asked, "could you get some information out of the curly-head Noah?". Ellen nodded and looked at the walls surrounding the waterways.

"Yes. The Earl has supposedly changed his plans. He will no longer send us out to kill you Generals. He'll concentrate on the Innocence you haven't found yet"

"So he's still trying to find the heart", Kanda said and Ellen nodded, "I see. We need to prevent the Earl from getting any more Innocence cubes".

"Lord Tyki Mikk also said that the Earl sends out great masses of level one Akuma to locate the Innocence. If they do, a Noah will come to destroy it…"

"So this curly-head came to collect the Innocence. Hm, that's bad. Chances are high that we will encounter Noahs on our missions. I can take them on, but you are the problem…", the general mused and Ellen nodded slowly.

"But I can sense other Noah and I can travel through space. Escaping will be no issue"

"But abandoning a mission and leaving the Innocence to them is. If a Noah appears, you'll just disappear and I'll take care of them". Ellen did not comment on this.

"I have another mission I need to complete", she said and Kanda raised an eyebrow at her, "I am not going to kill anyone".

"Che. Your manipulating might be even worse", he said and they got out of the waterway. Kanda steered the boat to the river's shore and they got out. "We'll use your space travelling ability, it'll gain us some time, which we then can use should anything unexpected come up"

"Where are we headed?", Ellen asked without even trying to protest and Kanda showed her the map. The Noah nodded, took hold of Kanda's hand and they disappeared. The general thought that this space travelling was a very uncomfortable feeling, but it surely was fast. In the blink of an eye they had reached a town which lay some hours away.

"I'm a bit puzzled that there is still Innocence in Great Britain that you haven't found yet", Ellen said and Kanda nodded.

"Me too. But it's possible that Innocence is found by people and transported. London is a city in which a lot of foreign goods are being sold", he said. The two of them had appeared in an alley, which opened up onto one of the big streets of London.

"Akuma in the skies above London…", Ellen whispered and looked up, Kanda doing the same. The morning fog and the smoke from the industries lay in thick clouds over the roofs, but the exorcists could see the vague shapes of the Akuma. "That is really something I do not like…"

"Is there another Noah?", Kanda asked, but Ellen shook her head, "good. Get rid of them". Ellen sighed, but disappeared up into the smog and Kanda lost sight of her. He started walking around; there weren't many people on the streets yet and it was fairly quiet. He was buying a newspaper to gather some information, just when Ellen returned to him. "How did it go?"

"No problem at all. I checked the city from above the smog. There are no Akuma left and also no Noah. Quite strange of the Earl to send Akuma alone to a big city like London, which is very close to the Order".

"True. But maybe he just ordered a few Akuma to fly around until they found something. On the other hand; London is a big city, people die all the time. I'm sure the Earl's quite busy here"

"Of course, but I still feel uneasy about it…", Ellen said and Kanda led her into a small inn, where he ordered breakfast.

"What's your other mission about? Where do you need to go?", he asked, while going through the newspaper. Ellen smiled at him, which he saw over the top of the paper.

"I don't think you need to know", she said and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"You're still a Noah, do you're manipulating, but I'm going to stop it if I can", he said and Ellen still smiled at him.

"Fine. I need to go to Rome and buy some time for the Earl. A council is supposed to take place. But let me do it; you could also need more time". Kanda didn't say anything and just continued reading the newspaper for any clue about Innocence, which he found moments later.

"A ship recently arrived from Africa, carrying with it a throne of some sorts which held the reputation to give its possessor power to rule and cancel out all evil forces", he said and showed Ellen the article. "What do you think?"

"I won't know until I've seen it", Ellen said and Kanda folded the newspaper, "but it might be problematic to get our hands on it". Kanda snorted and stood up, the Noah following suit.

"Don't be ridiculous. We're exorcists, they will not deny us access to the throne", he said and left the inn.

"I see, well then, let us go there", Ellen suggested and they walked up the street into the direction of the building where the throne was temporarily stored before it would be transferred to the museum.

"You seem to know the way", Kanda said after a while of silently following the Noah, who confidently lead the way through small alleys and to the harbour.

"I have lived here before I became a Noah. London never changes", the girl said and pointed to a house, facing away from the harbour; it was high but rather slim with big windows on the ground floor. Kanda chose not to comment on this and opened the door to the building.

"We came to inspect the throne", he announced before any of the men inside could complain about their sudden appearance.

"We are of the Black Order, this is General Yu Kanda and I am his apprentice Ellen Walker", Ellen explained and the men gladly turned away from Kanda's cold glare to look at the young woman. "We have received the Mission to check this throne to see whether it could attract harm"

"I have heard of your Order", an elderly man said, rising from his chair, "you exorcists have checked many things which were to be exhibited in the museum. Follow me", he said and led them into a large room in the back. There were a lot of furniture and packets standing around, the throne was placed in the middle of the room. It looked like a throne made of wood and ornamented with carvings and gold, shells and jewels.

"No doubt, there's Innocence", Kanda exclaimed, Mugen tingling in his hand, "we must remove it".

"But without harming the throne I hope. It's very precious", the old man said, a little uncertainty was to be heard in his voice. Kanda snorted and made a nod in Ellen's direction.

"Go on then. Don't destroy anything", he said, which had the girl raise her eyebrow, smiling slightly.

"Oh, I wouldn't", she said and touched her hand to the throne. It started to shine an intense white, which had the elderly man shield his eyes with his arm. Kanda saw how Ellen lifted her hand, the Innocence cube gliding out of the wood. "All done. I must say that the throne might have lost its spiritual power, but this way it's safer", she said, turning to the men. Kanda took the Innocence out of her hand and put it in his coat, the old man thanking them.

"We're all done here. Let us leave", the general announced and stalked out of the room. Ellen followed him and bid the people good-bye before leaving as well.

"Should I accompany you back home?", the Noah asked, while Kanda looked out to the sea.

"I'm not going back to the Order yet", he said and turned to look at Ellen, "I'll follow you to Rome". Ellen widened her eyes slightly but smiled at him.

"I told you that I would not do anything bad", she said, "yet". Kanda rolled his eyes and grabbed Ellen's sleeve.

"Komui told us to stay together. We will and that's final", he said sternly and Ellen sighed silently.

"As you wish", with this the strange feeling of space travelling returned and they stood in the white piano room. But there was no door leading to Kanda's room the general noticed. "I cannot let you out of this room for now, because I cannot predict when another Noah will come here", Ellen explained.

"You think you can keep me locked up in here?", Kanda asked with a raised eyebrow, "don't be ridiculous"

"No, Yu Kanda, I did not plan to do this. I will let you out of the Ark as soon as I have finished preparing. But this is still my dominion, mine as a Noah, I cannot let you wander freely in here". The Japanese General snorted and let himself drop into the armchair.

"Fine. Start preparing", he ordered and Ellen showed him a mild smile.

"I will. Please excuse me for a while", she said and disappeared into a black panel.

-o-o-o-

The white haired Noah entered her room, finding it empty as she had hoped. She went to a huge wardrobe of dark wood and turned its silver heavy key in the beautifully crafted lock. With a loud clicking sound the door sprung open to reveal a broad selection of clothes. The Earl of Millennium seemed to have tried his very best to provide dresses in various colours, styles and from various corners of the world. But Ellen, not being vain or interested in fashion, pulled out the first white dress that caught her eyes. Without even inspecting the piece of clothing she started to undress, when the door banged open to reveal Rhode Camelot with a huge grin on her face.

"Ellen! Let's play dolls!", she exclaimed and closed the door behind her. Ellen just showed her a slightly put off face, then she continued undressing.

"I do not have the time to play with you, the Earl gave me a mission", the white haired Noah answered, but Rhode just giggled and started to help Ellen out of the dress and into the new one.

"You have so many nice dresses, why did you always wear the same old black one? And this white dress is too simple for you", Rhode asked and stroked Ellen's hair affectionately. The seemingly older Noah turned to the mirror to inspect her clothes. She wore white stockings and brown leather shoes, reaching a bit over her ankles. The dress was about knee-length and the neck didn't reach as high as her other dress', showing more of her pale skin. It had less laces than the black dress, but a ribbon wrapped around the waist.

"I just don't like colourful clothes", Ellen replied with a smile and Rhode laughed.

"Well, this one shows a bit more of your body. I'm sure Tyki would appreciate it", she said slyly. Ellen smiled at her, not giving an answer for several moments.

"It does not speak for a man's greatness of character if he adores the clothes more than the woman wearing them", she finally said, putting her black dress into the wardrobe and closing it.

"Don't be so hard on Tyki! He's all pleasure and you please his eyes", Rhode argued slyly.

"Why do you bring up such a topic, Rhode Camelot?", Ellen said, smiling gently.

"Because your black dress makes me think of Mana", Rhode observed how Ellen's smile slipped and it became rather hollow, but it still was beautiful to look at. "Why did you finally decide to stop mourning his death and put on these innocent, white clothes? I couldn't help thinking that you might want to find new love – true love – with Tyki".

"You read many things into small changes", the other Noah replied, smiling and Rhode returned the smile.

"I am the Noah of Dreams after all. I know a girl's longing for love", she said and Ellen smiled wordlessly, "but you won't really find love with Tyki. Mana's love was something special, was it not? It was pure and adoring. Tyki doesn't care for such complicated things. He's the Noah of Pleasure..."

„Dear Rhode Camelot, I am aware of these things", Ellen said, and even though her smile was still in place her voice was rather cold and stern, "Tyki Mick and Mana cannot be compared, please abandon this fruitless topic".

"Ellen, don't be so bitter", Rhode laughed and continued stroking her hair, while Ellen tried to force back a smile on her face, "It's not bad to cut yourself off from Mana, he was a traitor after all. You have no more obligations to him. You've been mourning for 25 years", she said and let go of Ellen's hair. "Oh well. Pity that _you_ of all people entered into something which was _destined_ to go wrong". Ellen looked at her with a calm face.

„Because it has ended does not mean that it was not meant to be", Ellen replied silently, then she turned away from Rhode, „now please do excuse me, I need to go". Rhode grinned and nodded.

"Okay! We'll play dolls when you get back!", she announced and Ellen disappeared into one of her dark panels.

-o-o-o-

Kanda turned around when he heard the clacking of heels on the white floor. Ellen was standing there, nearly disappearing into the background. With a raised eyebrow the general inspected the clothes, but chose not to comment on it.

"The Earl got tired of mourning", Ellen answered to his unvoiced question, though the Japanese male didn't know how to interpret this enigmatic words.

"Whatever. Let's get to Rome already", Kanda replied and Ellen nodded with a smile. Kanda couldn't help thinking about her clothes: such pure whiteness seemed incredibly forced on her, though it did make her look like a young girl, rather than a woman. The white Kimono had suited her because she was moving and speaking differently. She acted and was probably very good at it. But for now Kanda couldn't do anything else than to react to her and maybe anticipate her next steps so he could move her in the direction he wanted her to go.

"Che. Manipulation, how I hate it", the general thought as he followed Ellen through a newly appeared door.

_To be continued  
_

**Notes:**

I guess I already said everything I needed to say? XD I don't know how the things with Mana will develop in the manga. I'm sorry that it is spoilerish in nature, but most things are just musings until now... And my take is different (unless Hoshino wants to shock me _lolz_)

I don't really know if I have the Noahs plus the Earl in character. I still have more problems with Kanda and Ellen, but I'm kinda lucky because I have an excuse if they aren't!! XD

Next chapter: Rome and a few surprises for General Kanda. :3


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Notes:

Back with the next chapter! This chapter will be the first of two "Rome"chapters, called Rome Arc because I'm uncreative.

Some things will be revealed now, I hope you can enjoy it! :D

Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino

* * *

**ROME ARC**

The whiteness of the piano room disappeared to be replaced by the warm colours of a bed-room. Kanda frowned, but looked around while the Noah went to open the windows to let some air in. The room was not big, but had high walls with ornaments at the upper ends, where the wall connected to the ceiling. The floor was of square wooden tiles which looked old and creaked softly when Ellen was walking around. The room had a wooden door opposite the wall with the window. Next to the door stood a big wardrobe, a big bed, draped with many thick and colourful blankets, stood against a smaller one, next to it was a night table. The opposite wall had a writing desk, a drawer and a bookshelf stuffed with leather-bound books. The wall with the window was plastered with picture frames of people and landscapes – neither of which Kanda could recognize. The window had thick curtains of brown colour, which Ellen was shaking a bit to get off the dirt. Kanda, still frowning, crossed the room to look out of the window. They were overlooking a busy town with brown buildings with red roofs. Kanda had never been here before – just travelled through - but he knew that this was Rome with all its churches and the cheery noises of urban life.

"What is this room?", he asked and turned back to look at the bed-room.

"I have accommodations all over the important cities of the world. This room is going to be yours for your stay, just in case you do not plan to leave for the time I'm here", she answered and Kanda looked at her.

"How long do you plan to stay here?", he wanted to know and the Noah smiled.

"As long as it takes to fulfill my mission; probably a week. I am sure you can find something to do – this is the city of the central administration for your order after all"

"I do not care about the Vatican, there is no reason for me to go there", the Japanese replied, "I'm going to supervise you".

"Of course, Yu Kanda. You can do that, but I need to do some information gathering first. With your uniform and because you're Japanese you stand out too much", Ellen said and pointed to the wardrobe, "you can always change into other clothes, if you'd like"

"Che. And you, with your white hair, cursed eye and Innocence arm do not stand out. Don't be ridiculous", he spat, but Ellen smiled up at him.

"I am a sorceress, do not forget that", she said and with her right hand she touched the left. Kanda saw the skin turning pale and smooth flesh covering over the Innocence. The marking over her eyes disappeared as well and her white hair turned a light brown. "I can temporarily change my appearance, but it only affects people's senses – my arm, the white hair and my curse are still here, you just can't see or feel it", she explained, earning herself a frown from Kanda.

"If you can do this, then why were you whining about wishing to get rid of your arm?", the general asked and the Noah looked up at him.

"This power only came with the awakening of my Noah genes and it took me some time to figure out how I can do it. And, as I said, it's only temporarily…". Kanda chose not to continue this conversation.

"Whatever…", he said and walked to the wardrobe, where he found elegant clothes befitting a gentleman.

"I'll wait for you downstairs", the Noah told him and left the room. Kanda snorted, but got out of his uniform and put on black trousers, a white shirt, a vest and a jacket. It might turn out to be a bit hot under Rome's sun, but Kanda actually liked it more or less, feeling more comfortable in western clothes than his Asian hertiage might suggest. He took Mugen and left the room. He came into a corridor which had three more doors, his own door faced the stairs leading down. He ignored the other rooms for the moment and went down the stairs. Kanda reached the entrance hall and went into the back of the house, looking for the Noah. The entrance led to two different doors and another door under the stairs which – so Kanda assumed – might lead to the cellar. He opened a door and found himself inside of a kitchen, Ellen standing at the stove. The kitchen was small, but had a nice fragrance of food and windows which let the sunlight in. There was also a table with two benches in the corner, where Kanda sat down after Ellen had asked him to. She filled two bowls with steaming soup and put them on the table.

"I need to go to the market and get some fresh food", she said, "but I still had enough for a soup". She sat down opposite Kanda and took up the spoon. "Please, eat". Kanda frowned at her and then down at the soup, which had a brownish colour. Even though it didn't look pretty and was made by a Noah, Kanda deemed it best to try and was rather relieved that it turned out to taste good. "Do not worry. I know how to cook", Ellen said with a smile, which Kanda just ignored. "I see that you found yourself some new clothes. I think they fit you very well"

"Who do they belong to?", Kanda wanted to know, "they look as if they had been used before". Ellen smiled at him and finished her soup before replying.

"They belonged to Mana Walker", she answered and took her empty bowl "I must say that they are slightly out of fashion, but I still like them". Kanda frowned.

"A relative of yours?", he asked as they both had the same last name. Ellen put her used bowl into the sink and turned back to Kanda.

"He was my husband. He died 25 years ago", she replied and the General didn't answer. A married Noah – this was quite a strange thought. And the girl still looked very young, she didn't seem like someone who would already be married. "Widowed", Kanda corrected himself. "Why the long face? Don't tell me you feel sorry for me, Yu Kanda", the Noah said smiling. Kanda snorted and got up from the bench.

"It just seems strange to think of you as a widow. But it's none of my business, if you want to tell me anything about it, do. If you do not want to I won't feel offended"

"Oh, I'll tell you, if you want to know, but at a later point. Now I need to work", she said and put her brown hair into order. "By the way; if you go asking around you'll surely find the monastery in which your sister lives". Kanda stopped in his tracks and widened his eyes.

"What?". Ellen walked out of the corridor, Kanda following hastingly, grabbing her by the shoulder. "Hey!". Ellen turned to him and smiled.

"I'm sure you haven't seen her for a long time. Why don't you go find her?", she proposed and opened the door.

"She's in Rome?", the general asked, still trying to get over the shock. He had never tried to go looking for her, even though he had wanted to long ago. Ellen nodded and they walked out of the house. They were on a wide open space with a huge stone stair leading up the hill, rows of houses next to it.

"Yes, you go up here, there's a church. You could start asking around", Ellen suggested. "As far as I know there's a finder at exactly this church right now, I'm sure he'll be able to translate for you". Kanda frowned, "and why don't you leave your sword at home. Rome is free from Akuma and Noah – expect for me of course. Here rules the Vatican, like the Earl rules Tokyo".

"I won't leave Mugen unguarded", Kanda replied and Ellen laughed.

"Fine", she said, and touched her finger to Kanda's Innocence. He saw a white sign appear on it. "People will not recognize it as a sword now, for them it looks like a walking stick, which fits your attire perfectly". Kanda rolled his eyes.

"You're stupid. Who cares about such things?"

"Don't waste your breath complaining, you better start looking for you sister".

"Che. Is this part of your manipulating too?", Kanda said, but couldn't bring himself to be angry; even if she had it would enable him to find his only remaining family again.

"Maybe? What I have started I will finish. The destinies I'm weaving are mostly loose threads which I have to put together. But you got on my good side, Yu Kanda, I've been very lenient with you", she said and turned away from him. Kanda couldn't help rolling his eyes.

"Don't do anything stupid, witch", he hissed, then started walking up the streets, Ellen, after having watched Kanda for some moments, disappeared into a narrow alley.

At the top of the stairs Kanda turned back to look down, but Ellen was already gone. He just sighed, but he still had Timcampy – which he had left in the house. Kanda thought about turning back, but despite himself he chose personal matters over his duty. In fast strides he crossed the square and opened the doors of the church. He startled a few people who were praying silently. Kanda, being aware of the stares he was receiving, pushed his hand into the stone basin, which held the holy water and made a fast cross, which seemed to appease the people. In the shadow of the pillars he walked past the benches and really found a finder he even recognized near the front.

"General Kanda, is that you?", the finder asked in a low voice and Kanda stepped out of the shadows.

"I need someone to translate for me. Do you speak Italian, Toma?", he asked and saw the finder nod. "Good, I need to talk to the priest". Toma rose wordlessly and guided Kanda into the office of the priest. The elderly, round man rose to his feet as he saw the newcomers. Without offering any explanation Kanda went to the writing desk and held out his hand to the man.

"I am Yu Kanda, Exorcist General of the Dark Religious Organization. I need you to answer me a question", he said, Toma, who had moved up to him, translating for the confused man.

He just nodded, shook the exorcist's hand and Kanda continued, "I need you to help me find out where my sister is". Kanda saw Toma widen his eyes sceptically, but he translated never the less.

"He does not know whether he can help you, but he will try", the finder said to Kanda.

"She's in a monastery, here in Rome. I think she must be easy to find. She is Japanese, like me, and is called Hanako Kanda". The church man seemed to think about it after having heard Toma's translation.

"He has heard about a Japanese woman who lives with nuns", Toma said and the elderly man handed Kanda a map. He pointed to a place marked by a cross. "It's not that far. I can guide you". Kanda nodded and thanked the priest with a bow. Toma and the general left the office and the church.

"You're in Rome for a personal matter, General Kanda?", Toma asked as he led them down the street. Kanda didn't pay much attention to their surroundings and only focused on memorizing the way.

"Yes. I haven't seen my sister for a long time. Komui doesn't know though", he answered.

"I see", Toma said and Kanda knew that he wouldn't tell anything to the supervisor.

After some minutes of walking, Toma stopped in front of a white building. "This is the building indicated on the map". It looked like an ordinary house, but had an arched wooden door. Toma pushed it open and they came into an inner courtyard, where some women in nuns' clothes were cleaning the floor. They raised their heads sceptically when the two men approached them. Toma made a fast explanation, Kanda just heard the word "black order" and the nuns calmed. They started talking to Toma and after a short while they led them into a building. Kanda assumed that they would either lead them to his sister or the woman responsible for the order. But as they passed a door, which stood ajar, Kanda froze.

"That's the choir room", Toma said, but Kanda was already pushing the door open. The singing women stopped when they saw the intruders, but one girl gasped.

"YU?!", she shouted and crossed the room in fast strides. Kanda stopped thinking about all the worries - like how he would explain why he had never come for her or why he hadn't aged a bit - as she stood in front of him. She looked like him, with the same straight black hair, the same stature – tall and thin – and the same face, though it was softer than his and her eyes were a dark brown.

"Hanako… You're really here", he said and she threw her arms around him before he could say anything else.

"I'm so glad to see you", she said in a slightly accented English, "God must have finally heard my prayers", she said and let go of him. She turned towards an older woman and said something in fast Italian. The woman nodded but threw a sceptical look in Kanda's direction. "Let us go out to talk". Kanda looked intently at his sister while she led the way back outside, Toma trailing behind.

"Thank you Toma, I appreciate your help", Kanda said and the finder nodded.

"If you need me I'll be at the Church", with these words he started walking back to where they had come from. Kanda decided that it would be best to do the same.

"You look good, Yu", his sister said, while they were walking next to each other.

"Thank you. I'm glad to see that you have grown up into a fine woman", Kanda replied and Hanako smiled at him. "Have you been here for the last 20 years?".

"Yes. I am very happy as it is right now... But I have missed you. I can't clearly remember what has happened 20 years ago, but it always made me worry about you"

"You don't have to. I also joined an order; I'm an Exorcist General", he told her and she looked at him in awe.

"It must be the Black Religious Organization. I heard that there are exorcists which work for the Vatican", his sister said and Kanda nodded. "So are you here because you need to exorcise someone in Rome?".

"No. I accompanied someone and then I found out that you were here", he answered truthfully, to which Hanako smiled gently.

"And you finally came to visit me…", she said and Kanda stopped, Hanako came to a halt beside him. They were back at the square which had stairs leading down to the house they were currently living in.

"Hanako, I'm sorry that it took me so long… I have no excuses", Kanda said gravely and bowed to her in apology. He heard Hanako gasp and she put her hands on his arms to make him straighten up again.

"Yu, do not apologize. There is _nothing_ you should be sorry for", she whispered and hugged him affectionately, "thanks to you I found happiness here". Kanda put his arms around his sister, one hand in the dark hair adoring her neck, the other around her back.

"Thank you", he whispered and kissed her head, "thank you, Hanako". After a while Hanako began to laugh lightly and Kanda let go of her. She took his arm and smiled up at him.

"Silly Yu, have you been worrying all this time that I could be angry at you?", she asked and Kanda led them over the square, aiming for his temporary residence.

"I don't know. After I joined the order I have always planned to come for you, but there were a thousand reasons which kept me from doing it. And as time passed, things got… complicated", he admitted and they walked down the stairs.

"I am not sure I understand…", Hanako said as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Kanda looked at her, but then he pointed to the house.

"Let us talk inside", he suggested and his sister nodded. They walked to the house and Kanda pushed open the door. He pulled off his coat, while Hanako looked around. There were clattering sounds and light singing coming from the kitchen. Hanako turned to Kanda with a frown on her face, resembling her brother while doing so. Kanda went past her and pushed open the door to the kitchen. The Noah was standing there, in her white dress, singing and preparing food. Her white hair, Innocence hand and curse were visible again. Ellen turned to them and smiled. Kanda wanted to explain, but apparently he didn't have to.

„You... You're the lady from back then… The one who brought me to the order!", Hanako exclaimed, which had Kanda turn to Ellen in surprise.

"You did?", he asked and Ellen laughed.

"I'm pulling strings together", she said and pointed to the table. „I have prepared lunch"

„Oh... Well then, why don't we eat?", Hanako suggested, getting over the surprise amazingly fast. They all sat down at the table, Ellen handing out food, even though Ellen and Kanda had eaten just an hour or so ago.

"Do not look at it like it's poisoned", she said to Kanda, who was eyeing his plate suspiciously. It didn't look that good – there was no telling where the vegetable pile ended and the pasta started, it was just a huge mass of indefinable food – but Kanda got over himself and started eating.

"It looks horrible, but it tastes fine enough", he said and Ellen smiled.

"Yu, you're just spoilt, aren't you?", Hanako asked and Kanda rolled his eyes, "Didn't you want to talk about complicated things?"

"Not when we're eating, Hanako", Kanda answered, but Hanako wanted to hear it now, "fine. If you lose your appetite I'm not to be blamed". She laughed but shook her head, which made her brother sigh. "The things we exorcist fight are called Akuma, souls which have been called back from the dead and trapped into machine bodies. On that day, 20 years ago, Akuma raided our town and killed everyone expect you and me. With her last few breaths grandmother told me to go find the sorceress. I am sure you still remember". Hanako nodded and threw a glance at the smiling Ellen. "It was her, yes. In order to make me stronger and able to take revenge she put a spell on me; it ensured that I would not die, no matter how grave the injury is I sustained. That's why I am still alive today, that's why I have not aged since that day". Hanako nodded slowly.

"I understand... I remember the ritual, that's why I wasn't that surprised to find you still very young…". The three were silent until Hanako turned to look at Ellen, "you have never told me your name"

"Ellen Walker", the Noah replied with a smile, which the Japanese girl returned.

"Ellen then, how come you are here today?"

"Not long ago your brother and I met again. We decided that I should join his order as well. I have business here in Rome and he accompanied me", she explained and Hanako nodded.

"You have brought us together again, for this I owe you thanks", she said and smiled.

"Do not worry about it, dear Hanako Kanda, it's the least I could do", she said and Kanda snorted, which had his sister turn to him.

"Nevermind", he muttered, but the woman just frowned again – something Kanda really didn't like seeing, so he decided to change the subject "You've become a nun then…".

"Not really. I live with the order and was baptized, but they were reluctant to make me – a Japanese – a nun. I'm not complaining though, I am a nurse now and I enjoy it", she explained and Kanda nodded.

"That's good to hear, Hanako", her brother said and finished his food, "I guess then that getting you away from Japan was the right thing to do"

"Yes. It definitely was. I might have forgotten the language and the culture of Japan, but I feel at home here in Rome", she replied with a content smile. Kanda looked at her wordlessly, then he turned his head away and studied his empty plate.

"The Noah might have destroyed our lives we had back then in Japan… But she also gave us the possibility to have a new one", he thought and looked up at the white haired girl, who had started chatting with his sister, "I can't say I like the turn my life has taken after her intervention… But she seems to have done a good thing for Hanako…", he frowned, "for _now_… Who knows what plans the witch still has for her…".

"Yu?", he heard Hanako ask and turned to her, "I should probably head back, but I was wondering if I could visit you two again?"

"Of course Hanako, we'll stay here for some time. Feel free to come whenever you're up to it", he told her and raised from his chair when the two woman did the same.

"We will then see each other again, Hanako Kanda", the Noah said and smiled at her. Hanako nodded and smiled in return, then she left the room, with Kanda pushing her gently.

"It was really nice to see you again, Yu", she said as they were outside, "But something is wrong with you, is it not?". Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"I was bound to change in those 20 years", he replied and Hanako laughed, patting him on the shoulder with a good natured smile. Kanda slightly wondered if he would look like this when he smiled, which he can't remember doing, at least for a very long time.

"I know… And you aren't very easy to read, but I still have this gut feeling, that you are… troubled. And I just wondered if you wanted to talk about it?", she answered and Kanda stayed silent.

"We're at war… And these are decisive moments… It's just the burden of my duty", he assured her and she nodded.

"Fine… But don't overburden yourself. I can still remember how cheerful you could be…", she said and took a few steps away from Kanda, out of the shadow of the house and into the sun.

"Cheerful…? I don't think I ever had this quality", Kanda said, crossing his arms over his chest. Hanako laughed and looked at him.

"Okay, maybe not cheerful… But you seemed to be content and I still remember all the smiles you would show me!", she saw Kanda frown and laughed again, "Well, it's been 20 years, maybe I don't remember correctly", she told him.

"Right…", Kanda said with a snort, "Weren't you in a hurry?", he asked her and Hanako nodded.

"I was! Good bye brother! Now that we've found each other I'm sure I'll see you again!", she said and he nodded.

"Of course. See you, Hanako", he said and she left, still smiling contently. Kanda only remained outside for some moments, because it was a bit too hot in his borrowed clothes. He returned to the kitchen, finding Ellen putting the clean dishes away.

"Thanks for keeping her safe", he said after an extended span of silence, "But I swear, if you use her for any of your plans, I'm going to hurt you", he warned and Ellen turned to look at him, a smile on her face.

"You always worry too much", she told him and he shook his head.

"I can't worry too much. You told me you don't care about humans. If we all are just tools, I wouldn't be surprised if you used her", he said and Ellen raised an eyebrow, mildly interested.

"I have no such plans, for now", she told him, "And there is no sense in caring about humans, it's too much work to try to help them when all you do is to prepare their demise". Kanda glared at her, then took her arm, pulling her closer to him.

"You think then, that the Earl will win this war?", he hissed. Ellen looked up at him and smiled.

"I told you, we're at the crossroads of time. It could go either way", she said, but Kanda just tightened the grip on her arm, forcing her to look up at him.

"Stop fooling around! You know that you will be the one to decide!", he spat and she widened her eyes slightly, "tell me! On which side is victory standing right now?!".

"I'm standing right here, next to you", she paused, "But my heart lies on his side", she confessed and Kanda looked at her, it was not quite a glare, but it was still very intense. He let go of her and stepped away from her.

"Che. I see. Your _heart_…", he hissed, "I understand that I am at a disadvantage, there's probably more to it that me just being an exorcist, if your _heart_ is involved". Ellen frowned at the way he was stressing the word, but she wasn't sure if he was ridiculing her or taking this very seriously. He turned from her before she could reply, not that she really knew what she wanted him to hear. "If the Earl's side has your heart, then I'll just have to try to get your _reason_ and then we'll see what happens from there", the general said while leaving the kitchen and Ellen could hear him going up the stairs. The Noah sat down at the table and looked out of the window.

"Reason… I wish I could listen to it…", she whispered, then she shook her head, "there is no sense in mourning anymore. I've got work to do".

_To be continued_

_Notes:_

_Tokyo – I know that it's still called Edo in the manga. And I don't know enough of Japanese history to seriously comment on that. But I wanted things to be differnt and to stress that Noah of Destiny is set in a different time-frame than the Manga. Japan is not completely closed off – but it is the domain of the Earl. The Vatican and Tokyo / Edo are two contrasting fortresses, the Exorcists' and the Noah's. Exorcists won't go attacking Tokyo and the Earl will stay away from the Vatican (Rome) – kinda like two neutral zones if you want. Ellen, being part of both sides, is allowed to do her meddling in both cities._

_And, oh no, an OC. I was thinking long and hard about how to warn you and what to do about it; in the end I decided that "nothing" was my best option. If you read this thing somehow attentivly you know that Kanda's sister survived and that she left Japan (while he stayed), thus it was possible that she would appear._

_And the next chapter will see some more of Ellen's magnificently effective manipulating! :D_

_Any thoughts on this chapter? :3_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's Notes:**_

_It's seems that I am back for another chapter! I must confess that it might be too early because I haven't written a single word for the next chapter yet and May will be a hellish month._

_Oh well. I guess I stop rambling and just give you the warnings, right?_

_**Warnings: Not quite spoilerish guest appearance of Howard Link, Ellen's almost M-rated manipulation skills, and improper use of Timcampy (what the hell...?)**_

_**Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**_

* * *

Kanda and Ellen had been in Rome for about one week now and even though Kanda would nearly go as far as confessing that he enjoyed spending time with Hanako, he was getting anxious.

"What are you doing anyway? It's not as if you've made any progress!", Kanda called when Ellen wanted to leave the house.

"Don't be silly, Yu Kanda. I've just finished my information gathering. This here is enemy land after all. I have to be very careful", she replied with a smile, but Kanda walked up to her and blocked her path. Ellen just raised her head and smiled up at him. "Are you trying to reason with me again?", she wondered and Kanda snorted.

"Even if you're not going to listen, witch, it's my duty to do it! Don't go destroying lives!", he hissed and Ellen laughed quietly.

"I wouldn't do that", she said, then put her hands on Kanda's chest. He looked down at her, eyebrow raised. "Dear Yu Kanda. Put some faith in me", she whispered and slipped past him, her hands ghosting over Kanda's chest. Her touch made him freeze and she took the moment to leave the house and slip into the shadows of the next ally. As soon as she was gone Kanda hit the wall with his fist in frustration. She was evasive, sly witch! But there was no sense in going after her, so he just had to wait patiently.

-o-o-o-

Ellen looked back to the house and saw that Kanda was retreating. Her attentive eyes scanned the area; today was the council – she _had_ to act now. It was a slight inconvenience that Kanda was present, because she needed the house and she most probably wouldn't be able to prevent him seeing her. She could of course cause some disturbance which would keep him occupied for some time, but she didn't deem it wise to mess with Yu Kanda right now seeing as he already was quite irritated with her. She didn't have any other choice; she would need to gamble and hope that he wouldn't disturb her plans.

Ellen walked around the town, gathering information, until she came back to her starting point. It was all ready now, her 'victim' would arrive shortly and if she delayed him, she would delay the whole meeting and the consequences of it as well. With alert eyes Ellen spotted a person coming, walking towards the stairs. It was a young man in a brown uniform with blonde, braided hair and a bag strapped to his back. He seemed to be in no hurry, but his steps were still fast and steady and his face was pretty determined. The Noah watched him pass the ally without even seeing her and he started climbing the stairs to the upper square.

"Now is the time", the girl thought and raised her hands in front of her. The sky – which had been clouded all day – began to darken and first drops of rain fell lightly. The man didn't even react, but Ellen hadn't suspected it to be otherwise, such things wouldn't delay this man. She slightly turned the wrist of her right hand and slowly the strap of the man's bag was beginning to come undone until it opened with a snap and slipped from his back. He turned around just in time to see it falling down, caught by a sudden strong gust of wind. It opened and documents started to fly everywhere and when the bag hit the ground it made a loud crashing noise and something clearly broke. Ellen could hear him curse and he started jogging down the steps as the wind began scattering the papers and the suddenly strong rain drenched them in water. Ellen stepped out of the shadow to gather the sheets of paper just when the man arrived at his bag.

"What peculiar weather", Ellen remarked as she approached him. He was on his knees and took out was seemed to be a broken typing machine. "Your papers are all wet…"

"It seems so… How unsightly. And now I cannot retype them", he said calmly, standing up, his bag in his arms. He finally looked at the Noah and widened his eyes when he saw her. According to his involvement with the Vatican and the Order, she had chosen to appear to him in her normal form, including scar, white hair and Innocence hand. Ellen just smiled and held out the papers to him.

"I have a typing machine, my house just happens to be the one over there", she said and pointed to the near house, "if it helps you, you can use it". The man sceptically raised a blonde eyebrow, but her smile was rather convincing, so he just nodded. "I have a telephone too, if you need to make a call".

"It will be alright. Thank you", he said and Ellen, papers still in her arms, led him to the door. He followed her inside and up the flight of stairs.

"It is in my room, do you want a towel and something to drink?", she asked and he looked at her, his green eyes studying her, "I am Ellen Walker by the way. Nice to meet you"

"Howard Link… Nice to meet you too…", he said, backing away slightly from her charming smile.

"I'll get you a towel and something to drink then! Make yourself at home!", she said and pointed at the open door at the end of the corridor. When he nodded and walked off, she also turned, only to find Kanda open the door and stick his head outside.

"What's the commotion?", he wanted to know, his face a frown.

"A young gentleman has some problems. I'm just trying to help. Do not worry", she answered with a smile, but Kanda just snorted at her.

"I'm sure _you're_ his problem!", he hissed after her, as she walked down the stairs. At the bottom she looked up at him and smiled sweetly.

"Do not concern yourself with this, Yu Kanda. What I am doing with a gentleman in my room is not your business", she said and he was quite taken aback by her words. His silence seemed good enough to the Noah and she disappeared out of his view. Kanda was still standing at the top of the stairs, looking down indecisively, but then he turned on his heels and went back inside of his room, closing the door after him. If she really just had a man over at her room then is _was_ none of his business, but if she just had him over to mess something up, then it was of his business. He couldn't know right now and it didn't seem wise to go and talk to the man. The Noah had said that she was merely buying time for the Earl and that he should just let her do as she pleased because it would also benefit the exorcists. Kanda decided to wait and see what happened, he could still intervene if something bad occurred. She wouldn't kill the stranger, she didn't seem like someone who got her hands dirty, but the thought of what the witch would be doing to the man was also quite disturbing. It was better not to think about it…

Meanwhile Ellen, with juice and a towel, returned to the upper floor and into her room; it was a heavily decorated bedroom with a queen-sized bed. The blonde man was sitting at a small round table, in a big, slightly worn armchair which had warm pastel-coloured flowers all over its cover. He was going through his wet papers calmly, his broken typing machine on the floor next to his feet.

"Here you go, Howard Link", the Noah said, put the glass on the table and handed him the towel. The blonde man took it wordlessly and started towelling his hair, while still looking at his files. "This seems quite important"

"It is. I must hurry now, the meeting can't start without these documents", he said and the Noah went to a drawer and pulled out a black typing machine. She carried it over to the round table and set it down. Link looked up at her smiling face and his eyes lingered on her, while she started combing her finger through her wet white hair.

"Be my guest", Ellen said, pointing to the typing machine, and the young man averted his eyes quickly. He cleared his throat, his cheeks slightly red from embarrassment. Ellen looked him up and down with a small smile on her lips; he was rather good looking, even though he had a stern expression most of the time. "You're still very young, Mister Howard Link, but judging from your uniform, I think you must be an important person"

"I'm an inspector of the Vatican's special auditioning committee", he replied and started typing. "But what are you, an English woman, doing here on your own?"

"Why do you think I am?", she asked and Link frowned, still blushing, "This house belonged to my late husband, he acquired it on one of his many educational travels around Europe"

"I see…", the blonde man said quietly and his typing was the only thing resounding in the room.

"You don't need to worry. I'm an honourable woman", Ellen said with a smile and Link stopped typing to look at her sceptically. He lowered his gaze as she just smiled at him and then he nodded, seemingly lost in thought. Ellen was quite content with how things were progressing. She could manipulate objects and even nature but not how people perceived her; it was pure chance. Ellen had guessed that it was enough to just delay the young man a bit and that rewriting the documents would be enough. But she didn't have any qualms about taking it further and Howard Link was responding very well. She wasn't playing around with men, she didn't even see it as an act of pleasure, but another side of her nature. It was what she did; she didn't care, it was just work.

-o-o-o-

Kanda was sitting in his armchair and tried not to listen to the obvious sounds coming from the other room. It was annoying and it was scandalizing, but he should have expected the Noah to go that far just to mess things up for the exorcists' side. But he couldn't just go in there and stop them, could he? Maybe the man was just an ordinary man she had met on the street and decided to spend some time with him. Kanda doubted it, but even he wouldn't go as far as to barge in like a betrayed husband who found his wife committing adultery. The Noah was a grown up woman – even if she didn't look like it – she had been married and was now a widow. She must have seen quite some things and gotten over her purity long ago. Not that a Noah could ever be considered pure, vile creatures as they were.

"Damn them all", Kanda cursed under his breath and his eyes fell on Timcampy, who was sitting on his bed-post. Maybe he could manage to get her to stop after all…

-o-o-o-

Ellen shot up as she heard a voice in her head, making Link, who was just trying to kiss her, miss.

"_Damn you, witch! What do you think you're doing?!"._ Ellen squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ignore the voice pounding in her head. Link lifted his head from her shoulder and looked up at her.

"Is something the matter?", he asked, his hands gripping the flesh of her thighs. Ellen put on a smile.

"_I swear, if you don't stop soon, I'm going to walk right in there!"_

"Of course not, Howard Link. It has been some time since I've last had a man's warm hands on my body. I guess that am no longer accustomed to a loving man's touch", she whispered and dropped back into the covers, reaching up to caress the handsome face of the man. Link was still blushing, but that didn't stop him from continuing their little passion play. Ellen admitted that, even though he seemed to be rather ashamed of himself, he was an exceptional lover, maybe even rivalling Tyki Mikk.

"_Is this stupid golem broken or what?!"._ Ellen hissed from the loud, almost painful buzz in her head, but her voice was easily drowned in the small gasps which came from the man above her. She tried to concentrate on him alone, blocking out Kanda's persistent nagging.

"_You don't seem to be interested__ in what I have to say. Well, this doesn't surprise me"_ Kanda's voice reappeared, _"But I wouldn't have thought that your manipulation includes such low things. I should have known though; if you don't even have any qualms about destroying entire villages, the step to prostitution is not that big"._ Ellen raised her fist and banged it against the hollow wall, trying to make Kanda shut up. It was quite surprising that Link hadn't heard Kanda yet, but he seemed to be too absorbed in the thing he was doing and Ellen couldn't blame him. She was absolutely sure that she could enjoy it if Kanda continuous buzzing voice didn't make her nearly sick. It was not surprising that she was rather relieved when Link's and her love making found completion. The young inspector didn't lose any time and left the bed, still panting slightly.

"_Seems that he's done. It took him over 20 minutes",_ Kanda remarked and Ellen could have done without his comment. She put a sweet smile on her face, still lying on the bed, resting against the head-board. Link watched her from the corner of his eyes while getting dressed.

"I have not asked you, but are you by chance an exorcist?", he wanted to know, eyeing her Innocence hand and Ellen smiled again.

"My... Yes, I am, but I've only been so for some days, I will make my way to the Black Order soon", she said and Link nodded wordlessly.

"This is good to hear"

"I told you… I'm an honourable woman. Now that my husband is dead I have no reason to shun the life as an exorcist. But I am content to have been able to make your acquaintance", she told him and Link sat back at the table and continued typing.

"We might see eachother again. I sure hope that this will remain a secret between us. I am not supposed to be spending my time in the company of women", he said calmly, still typing steadily.

"Of course. If we met then it might as well appear that we are strangers", the Noah said with a smile and watched Link work. After a while she got dressed and Link finally finished.

"Thank you for your hospitality", he said and put his papers back into his bag.

"It was my pleasure. Take care of yourself Howard Link", Ellen said with a smile and he left the room after making an embarrassed grimace. Shortly after he was gone Kanda decided to appear in her door frame. Ellen smiled at him, but he just snorted.

"It reeks in here. Open the windows"

„I would welcome it if you didn't try to invade my privacy. It was rather awkward to have your voice in my head while I was obviously trying to enjoy myself". Kanda snorted again.

"Pity", he said and Ellen eyed him with some reserve.

"Pity you say…", she refeated putting her head to the side slightly, studying him with a calm face. Kanda's sneer disappeared as Ellen walked up at him, looking at him intensely. He felt heat radiating from her body, her usually white cheeks were slightly red and her hair smelled probably like the man who just left. She took a step nearer to him, raising her hands to his chest. "Are you sure?". Kanda just stared at her, not able to say anything as her right hand moved up to where the markings of his curse were. It was a strange sensation to have her hand touch him, it felt as if the fabric of his shirt was not even present. It was warm, but sent shivers down his spine. It was like watching her caress the hourglass of the Lotus.

He pushed her away.

"Stop that! It's disgusting!", he said and turned his back on her, "I'm not someone you can mess with any longer!". As he turned around again he saw the Noah study him calmly, hands folded and lifted up to her mouth.

"Pity…", she imitated him and then she vanished in a hole which opened up at her feet. Kanda was still just standing there, doing nothing, then he heaved a deep sigh.

"It feels as if I just missed a chance… I wonder how many I have left", he muttered, then he heard the door bell ring, "I need to get her on our side… But not like this!".

Kanda left the room and went down to open to door.

"Hello!", his sister greeted and Kanda looked at her; she was pretty drenched, her hair clinging to her face. "Strange weather…", she continued with a smile and Kanda let her in.

"Hanako, what brings you here?", Kanda wanted to know and observed how the rainwater dropped on the carpet of the entrance hall, "I'll get you a towel". The woman nodded with a smile and went into the kitchen. Kanda found her looking out of the open window when he came back with a towel and a dry dress he had found in a wardrobe.

"Is Ellen out of the house?", his sister asked and took the towel while Kanda put the dress over a chair.

"She just left", he told her and Hanako nodded, towelling her long hair. Then she got out of her dress – Kanda looking away – and switched into Ellen's. It fitted somehow, even though Ellen was shorter than Hanako.

"Are you sure that I can just borrow her dress?", she asked and Kanda just shrugged, which made Hanako laugh. "May I ask what she is to you? Not possibly your wife?". Kanda grimaced at her.

"What are you thinking? Of course not! She's a witch, you know this! I could never love someone who messed up my life!", he hissed and Hanako frowned at him. She sat down on the chair and focused her eyes on her brother's face.

"Messed up your life? Why are you saying that?"

"Hanako, that's nothing I want to talk about", he told her and his sister snorted slightly, "don't pull that face"

"You're not better, Yu… You are aware that Ellen probably saved my life by guiding me to Rome? And you were bewitched, so that you could live on", she tried to reason with her brother, but Kanda just shook his head.

"She's the one that –", he stopped himself and just lowered his head, "it's okay. It doesn't matter". But this made Hanako even more sceptical, he should have known.

"I have the feeling that you misjudge her…" Kanda remained silent, "fine. If she's as bad as you make her sound, then why are you staying with her?"

"It's my mission to do so. I have to keep a close eye on her", he answered and Hanako raised her eyebrows, which made Kanda shake his head, "It's complicated…"

"That's what you always say! Don't treat me like a small girl! If it's so complicated then try to sort it out!", she told him. Kanda didn't want to say anything to that, so Hanako stayed silent as well. This would probably have gone on for a long time, had not the Noah decided to return to the house.

"Hanako Kanda, how good to see you", the white haired girl said with a smile. Hanako got up from the chair at once and smiled in return.

"I got in the rain and Kanda made me borrow one of your dresses. I hope that it's not inconvenient for you", she said and Ellen shook her head.  
"Of course not…". Hanako looked back at her brother with a smug face as if this proved that Ellen was a good person. Kanda just snorted because there was no sense in being rude with his sister. "Is there anything you needed?", Ellen wanted to know.

"Not in particular. I just wanted to visit you two, but my brother doesn't want to talk to me", she said.

"That's not true, don't be silly Hanako", Kanda argued. Ellen just looked at them both with mild interest.

"Kanda, my mission here is over. If you would like we can return to the Black Order", she said, which caught Kanda's interest immediately.

"Return? Now?", he asked and Ellen nodded. He threw a glance at Hanako, who just looked at him.

"Well, if you must return, then do. Don't worry about me, I'll do fine", she said, but Kanda was not happy to leave her again, not that soon. But from a work-related viewpoint there was no sense in delaying their return any longer. They could not afford to lose precious time.

"Hanako Kanda, why don't you come back with us?", the Noah suggested and Kanda raised his head at once.

"What are you saying?! She's no exorcist!", Kanda objected, but Ellen just smiled at him.

"You are a nurse, aren't you Hanako Kanda?", Hanako nodded, "The infirmary of the order could surely need reinforcement".

"That sounds nice! I would be able to spend a bit more time with my brother", the black haired girl said and turned to Kanda, "don't you think?". Kanda nodded, but sceptically. That the Noah offered something like this aroused his suspicion. First they go to Rome, there they find Hanako and then the witch convinces her to come with them. What if she just was a tool in one of the Noah's schemes?

"I'll go ask the matron", Hanako said, "I am pretty excited". The young woman left the house, which gave Kanda the opportunity to talk with Ellen. Being alone with her still made him uneasy, perhaps it was the aftermath of their rather strange conversation earlier.

"Don't you dare to use my sister for any of your conspiracies", he warned and Ellen smiled at him, "I mean it"

"Of course. I'm just thinking about your well-being. I thought that you wouldn't like to leave your sister, now that you've found her"

"How considerate of you", Kanda mocked, but Ellen just smiled.

"You better get ready, Hanako will be back soon"

-o-o-o-

Hanako came back after two hours and she had two suitcases with her. Kanda and Ellen had switched back into their uniforms.

"You look splendid in these uniforms", Hanako said and inspected the golden emblem Kanda wore, "being an exorcist truly seems to have its merits".

"The infirmary dresses are quite nice too", the Noah said and Kanda just rolled his eyes.

"Aren't we leaving yet?", he urged and Ellen smiled at him.

"Of course", she closed the door behind Hanako and put a key in. As Hanako observed how the Noah locked and unlocked the door, Kanda decided to explain what they were doing.  
"Don't talk to anyone about how we travel. This is a special ability of her that I don't want the others to know of yet", he said and Hanako nodded with a confused expression on her face, "we will travel through space. That's the positive thing of having a witch with you". Ellen opened the door and she stepped inside, the two following. Contrary to what Kanda would have thought they didn't arrive at the Piano room, but found themselves on an open street. Kanda turned around and saw the double doors of a Londoner hotel behind him.

"We departed from London, we should return form here", the female Noah explained and started to walk away in the direction to the railway station. Kanda didn't bother asking why she thought that this would be better.

"London sure is nice…", Hanako said, while looking around, "such a busy town!"

"Rome is splendid as well. The ruins of antiquity are to be admired", the Noah remarked and the Japanese woman nodded with a smile.

"Do you really think they will employ me just like that?", she wanted to know when they boarded a train, having easy access to a luxurious compartment thanks to the two exorcists.

"You are not compatible with Innocence, but now that you are coming with us I will see to your safety", Kanda replied and sat down next to his sister, clearly avoiding the Noah.

"That's very responsible of you, dear brother", Hanako said, mocking him a bit, but Kanda just ignored her.

"Because our field of work is very tightly connected to death, also our own, the people don't really allow us to have contact with family members", Kanda explained and saw Hanako's puzzled look. "The Earl makes contracts with people. But the price is always death. If I were to die and you were informed of it, then there is a possibility that you will make a deal with the Earl, calling my back to life in form of an Akuma. That is to be avoided at all cost"

"Hn, but is still sounds inhumane to deny people to have connact with their loved ones. I would never know about your well-being then"

"You wouldn't, but you can't cry about me either, because you can never know for sure whether I've died", Kanda replied and looked at the Noah, who was just smiling at him slyly. "But I cannot die". Hanako looked at her brother's grim face, then she turned her head to look at the Noah.

"How can you have the power to make someone immortal? It exceeds my imagination", the Japanese woman admitted. Ellen looked at her and smiled.

"I did not give him immortality. He can die and he probably will die sooner or later", Kanda snorted, „I just made his body immortal, but his life is connected to some items and they will take the damage for what his body would sustain. He won't age, he won't get sick and he won't die from an injury. But he might die if his time runs out".

"That sounds… awful", Hanako said and looked at her brother. Kanda ignored her, looking out of the window. "Is there no way to escape it?".

"Escape immortality and eternal youth?", Ellen asked with a doubtful smile on her lips, „who would possibly want such a thing?"

"You still don't understand the burden, do you?", Kanda spat, turning his head to look at the Noah.

"Yu...", Hanako tried to calm him, but he still glared at Ellen. The Noah sighed and shook her head.

"Life can be a burden, but what else had you expected? I am not the one who made you compatible with Innocence", she told him quietly and Kanda glared at her angriliy.

"How would I know?! Maybe you placed the Innocence in the cave? Because right when I found it, Akuma started to appear!", he shouted and Hanako gave up trying to calm him. The Noah was still unaffected by his words and sighed again, looking to the side calmly. Kanda just put his hand to his forehead and tried to cool down, there was absolutely no sense in blaming her. Even if she was guilty, he had no way to prove it and it wouldn't help their already tense relationship. "It does not matter right now", he forced himself to say, "But do not speak lightly of what I had to go through because of you. Maybe your spell did save my life various times, but it did not spare me the pain and the fear. I acknowledge the effort you must have put into it, but stop speaking of it as if it didn't concern you". Ellen closed her eyes and nodded.

"Very well", she said and the compartment fell into silence.

**To be continued  
**

_**Notes:**_

_I hope I didn't scare you too much__. (I love Link... There should be more of him.) As you can see, Kanda could probably have had her... But he spoilt it. Shame on him._

_Still no English spell-check on my computer... _

_Opinions? Thoughts? Ideas? :3 _

_P.S. I surprised myself and DID start writing the next chapter. But 700 words do not count as an achievement yet. However, if things go according to plan, a big part of Kanda's past after his encounter with Ellen will be revealed. I look forward to it! :D_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's Notes:**_

_Back with another update. I am slightly surprised that I continue to update weekly (somehow) because I really should be preparing for exams and write papers. I am such a lazy student that it makes me cry in shame._

_Okay, but enough of that. Here you have a new chapter where finally some light is shed on Kanda's mysterious charm. Let's hear what Rabi has to say! :3 _

_P.S. I just cheekily called this chapter "Lotus Charm" because it's the first part of explaining Kanda's curse. I am lame at formulating titles, but "Chapter 1" etc sounds a bit... boring. XD_

_**Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino **_

* * *

THE LOTUS CHARM

Not long after they had got onto their train, they could get off again. The busy town, from which they would board their boat, was getting quiet now that the sun had disappeared behind the hills.

"Exorcists are nothing unusual here", Kanda explained to his sister, when a few people greeted them friendly, "so if you want to leave the order for a bit, you can always come to this place. It's relatively safe". Hanako nodded and looked around, while the exorcists guided her out of town to the nearby river. Their boat was still there and a finder was waiting next to it.

"Welcome back General Kanda", he said and waited for them to get into the boat. He eyed Hanako suspiciously, but as she looked like Kanda he rightly guessed that they were related. "General...". Kanda decided to interrupt him and handed him the pole so he could start steering the boat.

"This is my sister, Hanako Kanda. She will start working as a nurse in the infirmary", he said with a cold glare and the finder nodded hastily.

"Yes, of course! Welcome Miss Kanda!", he said and pushed the boat away from the shore.

"Thank you", the woman said with a smile and turned to look at Kanda.

"I'll introduce you to the supervisor. He will then arrange everything, but I first need to talk to him", he told her and she nodded.

"There are a lot of people to get to know. I am sure you will like it at the Black Order", the Noah promised and Hanako smiled at her.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Ellen", she said and Ellen laughed lightly. Kanda thought it best not to comment.

The two women talked merrily for the rest of the voyage and Hanako was pretty excited once they reached the underground water system.

"This is nearly the only way to reach the order", Kanda said as they arrived at the dock, "unless you want to climb". The left the finder to take care of the boat and started climbing the stairs. "There are a lot of stairs. But as we exorcists need to be in shape that's no problem. It won't be for you either, because you won't need to leave the order once you moved in"

"You make it sound like a prison, Yu", Hanako said with a laugh, while Kanda just snorted.

"For some exorcists, it is", he said and his sister fell silent, "but you do not need to concern yourself with such matters. Concentrate on your work. You now are an important part of this organization", he said and Hanako nodded with a serious face.

They arrived at the main floor and Kanda turned to the women: „Let's go to Komui", he suggested. Ellen nodded and they started following Kanda. When they arrived at the Science Division Kanda made the other two wait in front of the doors. „I do not want to explain to everyone who you are Hanako. I'll just go in there and get Komui to join us", he said and Hanako nodded. "You'll keep an eye on her", he continued, aimed at Ellen. She smiled and Kanda went inside. He passed the scientists, ignoring their greetings and "welcome back"s and only stopped in front of Komui's desk.

"Kanda!", the scientist said and sprung up, "what has taken you so long!? We were worried!", he said and walked around the table to check if he could see any injuries. Kanda just raised the sheathed Mugen to get him off, but Komui just raised his eyebrows.

"Is that the Innocence you've found?", he said and Kanda just stared him.

"What the hell...? Of course not!", he replied and Komui looked at him.

"Then why are you carrying a walking stick around?", he wondered and Kanda was at a loss of words.  
"Damn that witch!", he thought and lowered Mugen angrily, "she didn't take off the spell!". He cleared his throat and got the Innocence out of his uniform.

"That's none of your business. Here's the Innocence", he said coldly and Komui took it with a confused smile.

"This is the second one which is connected to sightings of many level one Akuma", Komui said and studied the Innocence, "Maybe we should look into it"

"I do not think that it's necessary to do so as long as we are faster than the Akuma", Kanda said with a snort and Komui laughed.

"Of course, but the world is big and there are so many more Akuma than exorcists. If we could cut the Akuma supply...", the supervisor trailed off, making Kanda raise an eyebrow. "Ah, there seems to be something else", Komui remarked and Kanda frowned at him. "Or why are you still here? Because of the walking stick?". Kanda decided to smack the man with his Mugen for degrading his Innocence, even though it was actually the witch's fault.

"The reason why I took so long, was because I found a relative", Kanda said bluntly. Komui widened his eyes disbelievingly.

"A relative of yours?" Kanda nodded, „really?! That's great news! I didn't even know you had a family left!"

„There's only my sister. I found her by chance. Have a look at her, she's a nurse, you should be able to employ her"

"What? You brought her to the order?", Komui asked puzzled, "but you know" Kanda turned around, stopping Komui in mid-sentence.

"She is my sister. I will not leave her alone, I thought that you must understand that", he said and walked off, leaving Komui speechless.

"Yes... Yes of course...", he said and started following Kanda.

-o-o-o-

Meanwhile Ellen and Hanako where waiting outside.

"This place is huge...", the Japanese woman said and sighed, "I wonder if I will be able to feel at home here...". Ellen smiled at her reassuringly.

"Your brother is here", she said gently, "this should be all that matters". Hanako smiled at her and nodded.

„You are right..."

„Ellen!", a voice called and Ellen turned around to find Rabi approaching them, he seemed pretty breathless, "I just heard that you got back! Where is Yu?", he asked and Hanako took a step forward to have a look at Rabi. The young man turned his head.

"Ah! There you are!", he said, but then he frowned and looked Hanako up and down before he started to get pale, „Why… Why are you dressed like that?!", he shouted.

„Rabi…", Ellen started, laughing amusedly, but Hanako decided to interrupt him.

"Why, dearest Rabi? Don't I look great in a dress?", she asked and Ellen turned to her with a mildly surprised look on her face. Rabi however was speechless.

"You're a _woman_! Yu! If you… Well, I would go _strike_ on you, but you know…", Rabi trailed off, looking at the ceiling.

"Don't you dare, you damned imbecile", Kanda hissed as he came out of the Science Division. Rabi raised his head and widened his visible eye even more.

"Yu?!"

"Don't call me by my name!", Kanda barked at him coldly and shoved him out of the way, "Komui. This is Hanako Kanda, my sister".

"Sister?!", Rabi shouted and Kanda was tempted to slice him by Mugen, but he didn't want to hear any other comment about a „walking stick". "You're his sister?!". Hanako smiled and nodded.

"I am sorry, I wanted to anger my little brother, but he chose the wrong moment to come out again", she said and Rabi breathed a loud sigh of relief.

"And I thought Yu really turned into a woman!". Kanda chose to ignore him and shot his sister a disapproving glare. He surely was not her "little brother" but he hadn't aged a bit. Logically, he could not be her big brother when she was 25 and he seemed to be around 20.

"Hanako, I see. My name is Komui Li", the Chinese man introduced himself and shook Hanako's hand. "Your brother said you were a nurse?"

"Yes. I have some experience", she said with a smile and Komui sighed.

"I am sure you brother told you about the downsides of being employed here", he said and Hanako turned to look at his brother.

"We're at war", he said her and she nodded.

"I am aware of this. But I will try my best", she said determined and Komui had to smile.

"Very well. Welcome to the Dark Order, Hanako! I hope you will feel at home!", he announced and Hanako smiled brightly, grabbing her brother's hands before he could react.

"Yu, thank you that you brought me here. Thank you Mister Li for accepting me", she said while looking at the supervisor, "Thank you". He put his hand on her shoulder and smiled.

"You are welcome. Now, let's find yourself a room", he said.

„I guess that's all, Komui", Kanda said and Komui nodded.

"No, wait!", he shouted as the general wanted to go away, leaving his sisters in the hands of the supervisor. "Have you made arrangements with your room yet?". Kanda turned around and glared at him, "Ah, I see you didn't!"

"I'll do it once I've found time!", Kanda hissed then he started walking off, "take care of Hanako, or I'll slice you apart!".

"Oooh. Harsh words", Komui said and turned to Kanda's sister who just sighed, "well, let's get everything ready!". The young woman nodded eagerly and with a wave in Rabi's and Ellen's direction she went inside the Science Department.

"Wow... So that was Kanda's sister! They resemble each other!", Rabi exclaimed and started walking away, next to Allen, "well, at least in outward appearance...". Ellen smiled at him and nodded.

"I guess it was lucky for him to have found her. It surely will take a burden off his heart", the Noah said and Rabi grinned.

"If he only started to be nicer, that would be great as well!", he said and Ellen laughed lightly. "Oh! I should hurry, I have something to discuss with him!", Rabi suddenly said, hitting his forehead. He turned towards Ellen and smiled at her, "I trust you find your way back on your own?"

"Absolutely, dear Rabi. We will surely see each other again", she said with a bright smile. Rabi grinned and started to run.

„Of course! Bye!", he called and Ellen waved at him.

-o-o-o-

Kanda had not even aimed to go back to his room, he knew that Rabi wanted to tell him something. He was waiting next to the library and Rabi found him there pretty easily.

"You've found out something...", Kanda said and Rabi nodded, entering the library. A lot of people were inside, passing their time, and the young bookman guided his friend to the very back, where a wooden door led to another room.

"Let's talk in the back... I don't think you want people to listen in on us", the red-head said and Kanda merely nodded silently. Producing a key from his pocket, Rabi unlocked the door to the archive of the order. Being a bookman of course provided Rabi with the privilege to go through all the books and documents the order had. The room was dark and the windows barred with wooden planks, the small streaks of sunlight fell on the old looking shelves and the swirling dust glittered in the orange light. Rabi guided Kanda through the dark room to the very back where Kanda spotted a hole in the floor and a simple wooden stair leading down to a dark room. Rabi climbed down and Kanda only followed when there was faint yellow light coming from underneath. The General climbed down and his feet touched rough stone floor. Down here it was considerably cool and the only light came from a dirty yellowish light bulb above him. He could faintly make out many old looking wooden shelves packed with letters, scrolls and very worn books.

"What is this place?", he asked as Rabi switched on another light, but the room was still very dimly lit. Kanda wondered how Rabi hadn't ruined his eyes yet in this poorly lit room.

"This is the room I use as bookman. It's filled with things I collected. Things mostly forgotten and ignored, things only accessible to us Bookmen. It has originally been a room with old unofficial correspondence, all the letters people wanted to post but never arrived at their destination and such things. It's over hundred years worth of the Order's very personal history collecting dust in here". Rabi sat in an armchair by a table and pointed to the other. Kanda approached it; it looked moth-eaten and its worn fabric had collected dust. He frowned but decided to sit down; if Rabi had done his work then he would clearly have very valuable information for him.

"So... I think I get straight to the point", Rabi suggested and the General nodded, "there was absolutely nothing I could find in the normal archives about the Lotus Charm. I have looked for possible other names, but no luck". Kanda nodded, knowing that Rabi probably still had been able to find something. "I had a look at all shady and more or less official spell books, but there was no thing called Lotus Charm... I guess I was ready to give up and wait for your return so you could give me more information, but then I came across _this_". Rabi reached down and put a pile of bound letters on the table.

"And what is that?", Kanda wanted to ask and caught a glimpse of the handwriting on the envelopes. It was strangely familiar.

"These are the complete letters of the late General Xavier", Rabi said, "he died ten years ago in an Akuma attack. He rarely was at the order but he corresponded with someone - there is never a name mentioned - who seemed to have handed all the documents over to the archive. But no one ever had a look at them. Ah, General Tiedoll took over for Xavier after he had died". Kanda nodded silently. "Anyway, Xavier seems to have made research on the Lotus Charm. It's not as if he had known it before, he clearly states that never before had he seen such intricate magic, but he seems to have known a person with the curse. His reports are amazing! Simply amazing! There is so much he found out, even though he states that most things are just speculation". Kanda frowned, had his old General really found out that much? He remembered that they talked about it and Kanda let himself be examined various times by the man, but he never knew that he corresponded with someone about it. "And there are also the replies of this unknown person, and he must have known quite a bit about magic too! There must have been a lively discussion about the charm between them. They really were brilliant men, these two!". Kanda just nodded.

"Fine. And what have you learnt? What is it exactly? What does it do and how can it be reversed?", he asked and Rabi opened a leather bound book, apparently his note book and Kanda could see his name scribbled on the surface in white letters.

"Well. Xavier says that it's a unique magic, unseen before. Well, but because you have the charm as well it cannot be as unique as he and his friend said". Kanda remained silent, "Xavier thinks that the Charm is as spell he would categorize under "_life and time distorting magic_", magic binding the affected person's life to a foreign object, rendering the body immune to outward harm, but the object will still go through an aging process. And as soon as the object has used up its time, the person will die as well", Rabi said and looked up at Kanda, "I guess this would make sense, but this theory argues that the injuries you sustain have no effect on the Lotus, which in fact they do... Or do you think the Lotus ages on its own?". Kanda shook his head.

"No... When I take continuous life-threatening damage, the flower will lose a petal... I guess there is some kind of time restriction, but it's not based on the time the flower has", he replied, "plainly said; the more I fight, the more the flower will wilt", the General said. He knew a few things about it from the conversations he had had with the Noah, but it just was not enough.

"Xavier's friend argues that the Lotus Charm should better be classified as a subcategory of a "_Necromancy Charm_"...", Rabi went on and Kanda frowned, "He claims that there are various magic spells bundled up into one, making it extremely powerful. He states that first there must be an object, previously dead, brought back to life. This doesn't need to be a human, it might also be a flower. Then there is a "_Replacement Spell_" exercised which transfers the life force of a human being to this previously dead thing; the revived corpse or object will take over the life span and mortality of the person". Kanda merely nodded, letting Rabi finish first, "And then there's Xavier's suggested "_life and time distorting magic_"... But the friend also claims that the Lotus Charm can rightfully be called a subcategory of "_Necromancy Magic_" because it involves the bringing back to life of something which has already been dead. The lotus, in the Lotus Charm's case, is the replacement for the now temporarily immortal person's life. And the fact that there is a "restriction" or a "seal" on your body – your markings Yu – further seems to justify his claim". Kanda raised his eyebrow.

"What has that got to do with it?", he wanted to know and Rabi frowned.

"I must confess that I do not completely understand his argumentation here. He says that "the markings are a clear suggestion that the body is in fact closely connected to the object of the Charm. If they will extend, that also means that the object is properly doing its replacement magic. However, the more the markings will spread, the more the time restriction will waver and the true nature of the object passes over to the body". I have no reply of Xavier to help me interpret these lines...", Rabi said thoughtfully, "I just know that Xavier suggested that the mark is clearly a sign of time restriction and reversion of anything which affects the health of your body. The fact that you are able to use Mugen to profit from your, uh... Curse", Kanda glared at Rabi, "Uhm... Anyway, I'd say that Innocence might be connected to the Lotus Charm, but it also will speed up the deterioration of your body. Maybe that's the true nature of the object". Kanda looked at Rabi and thought this over.

"You suggest that the Lotus flower is in fact Innocence? That can't be, I never felt anything", he said.

"Well yes, that's because it's closely connected to you! Maybe it's even a parasitic type and you know that parasitic types use up the life force of their wielders because the Innocence is directly connected to their bodies!", Rabi argued, which just made Kanda shake his head disbelievingly. It was an option, of course, but it made no sense to him.

"Is there anything else? A hint to the kind of persons who could perform this magic?", Kanda asked and Rabi looked at him uncertainly.

"Well... You don't know who gave you the charm?", the red-head asked and the General hesitated.

"It was a sorceress... My grand-mother told me to go visit her. So I did and she gave me the curse. I know very little about her... But I want to reverse the Lotus Charm eventually"

"Uhm... Well neither Xavier nor his friends were able to come up with something which could lift the spell. If you destroy the flower, you will die. The friend suggested that only the person who gave you the curse could lift it again. He also said that it probably must happen by erasing the markings, which symbolise the ties you have to the flower..."

"Well? What about the people that can perform such powerful magic?", Kanda urged Rabi and the red-head sighed.

"Xavier says that many people can be born with a natural predisposition to magic, but they never are that powerful. In order to perform such strong magic there are two ways of enhancing it... Yu, I know this"

"Spit it out!", Kanda interrupted him and Rabi sighed, but raised his hands to show that he would comply.

"The first way is by acquiring Innocence. Innocence, as we both know, is a substance which can greatly influence its surroundings and brings forth many magical phenomena... The other way of enhancing magic is by being born with a specific set of genes...", Rabi drew in air and looked up at Kanda.

"Noah genes", the General said before Rabi had to, but Rabi was not surprised to hear him say it.

"Yes. And Xavier could ascertain that in his time there was no exorcist with strong magical powers. I checked all the files of today's exorcists and there isn't one either. Simply using Innocence without properly being aware of it is not possible. In order to work such great magic as the Lotus Charm a long time of studying Innocence and its power is necessary... Xavier concluded that a Noah put the spell on the person he examined... And I can imagine that the same person did it to you...", Kanda remained silent and Rabi put his hand on Kanda's shoulder. "I know it's hard to swallow because it's simply unthinkable... Why should a Noah do such a thing?".

„It's okay. Could you try to find out more about this Noah?", the General asked and Rabi nodded.

"I'll try my best... There is one thing I already am aware of", he said and Kanda raised both eyebrows, "not from any letter, but because the information has been passed on from bookman to bookman". Kanda looked at him attentively and Rabi raised his hand, pointing his index finger upwards. "There are 13 Noahs we know of, 13 Noahs which serve the Earl. But there existed another one, the Fourteenth, which appeared out of nowhere and he turned against the Earl. I don't know what has happened to him, but if he sided with the humans, it's possible that either the Noah which cursed you was exactly this fourteenth or a Noah who followed him"

"Is there any information on when this fourteenth died?", Kanda wanted to know and Rabi looked at him with his green eye sparkling.

"Around 25 years ago... Before Xavier started his research... But…", Rabi turned to Kanda and looked at him, „it is still possible…". Kanda returned his look, then he drew his hand indecisively through his black hair. "Yu. Tell me the truth... If there is a time restriction on you, you probably have not aged... And you don't look a day older than when I first saw you four years ago…", Rabi didn't want to finish his sentences, so he just waited for Kanda to reply. The General sighed and raised his head again.

"General Xavier thought it best not to tell anyone...", he finally started and Rabi widened his green eye, „that I have been cursed. He wanted to keep me away from the order, fearing that I might be used... 20 years ago, the order was very different than it is today..."

"_You_ were the one Xavier talked about...?", Rabi breathed and Kanda nodded, "then how old...?".

"I was 18 when I met the sorceress... That was 20 years ago...". There was some silence until Rabi started to shout.

"Shit! Yu! You're an old geezer!", Rabi said and Kanda was taken aback by his wide grin and the light tone of his voice. "No wonder you're such a stiff person! Didn't want to mingle with us children? Right?"

„I… Am not an old geezer! I am turning 40; that is NOT old!", Kanda hissed indignantly, but he was somewhat relieved that Rabi took it so lightly.

"No, you don't behave your age at all. And you don't look it"

"Are you trying to annoy me?", Kanda hissed and Rabi had to laugh, "Che. You're an idiot".

"I might be. But now I'm even more curious! Please, let me record your life's story!". Kanda hesitated, but then he nodded.

"It might take long...", Kanda said and Rabi laughed.

"Yes, 40 years is a long time", he agreed and got hit by Kanda, "Ouch! Fine! I am prepared for something long!". The General shook his head, but he decided that he owned Rabi this and besides, it somehow felt good to know that his life was being written down somewhere. And even if no one else than the bookmen might read it, it was still some kind of testimony that Yu Kanda had really existed. So he started his tale.

„I was born in the year 1855 as the second son of a landlord. My father was the most respected man in the vicinity and my grand-mother, who lived with us, was a famous medium. My oldest brother died in an accident when I was seven and from that point onwards I was destined to be the heir of my father. I was never raised strictly, the only thing he forced me to learn was writing, reading and defending myself. I was a very carefree child. At the age of eight I found an Innocence cube in a nearby cave. It fused with my sword, turning its blade oily black. On the same day I also had my first run in with an Akuma. Thanks to the Innocence I was able to destroy it without any problems. I did not know what it was so I went back to report to my father. He of course didn't take me seriously, I admit that as I child I had the reputation to make up the wildest of stories and I was not surprised that nobody believed me. I did not care because I saw myself as a hero, the man who would protect the village from these metal monsters. And I did just that. The Akuma attacks weren't very frequent, maybe one Akuma every half year. I was able to go on living a relatively peaceful and completely normal life. Until shortly after my eighteenth birthday that is. I had visited the neighbouring village were I often went to see a farmer girl"

"Your sweetheart?", Rabi interrupted, reminding Kanda that he was in fact still sitting in the bookman's study and not losing himself in a strange soliloquy.

"Not really. I liked her, she was nice looking and her family had a restaurant which sold the best Soba noodles", Kanda snorted and glared at Rabi, who just continued snickering cheekily. "Che. Get a grip, idiot!"

"Yes, yes. Sorry", Rabi said and Kanda sighed in annoyance.

"But when I came back I was ambushed by a group of Akuma. Akuma attacks had been more frequent the last few months, but I thought nothing of it, as my skills had also improved over the years. However, I soon realized that my village was burning. I hurried towards it, killing all the Akuma I saw, but still, I was too late. I didn't know what was happening back then and I was terrified. My home was still standing and I went inside where I encountered a level two Akuma in the chambers of my grandmother. I was able to defeat it, but I had been too late to save my family. My grandmother, parents and all my siblings except my sister Hanako had died"

"Just for the records, Yu; Hanako is in fact your younger sister, am I right?", Rabi spoke up and Kanda nodded, "Thank you... Go on...", he said silently. Kanda remained quiet for some time but then he continued.

"Before she died, my grandmother told me what she knew about the Akuma and the Earl. And she also told me to visit the sorceress who lived at the outskirts of town... And I did... She was a woman clad in a white Kimono with equally white hair and a wooden mask, hiding her face. I have never seen her before and I didn't even know that she was living in our town... I wasn't exactly sure what I should be telling her or what to do. But she had been expecting me all along... So I approached her and told her that all I needed was something that kept me going, something which would allow me to grow stronger and survive until I was able to take my revenge. I was young back then and unreasonable... But she merely nodded and then... she started her magic".

_To be continued_

Notes:

I hope this explanation chapter didn't bore you. I had a lot of fun making things up and I guess it worked out somehow. I just "invented" these different types of magic spells Xavier and his friend were talking about, I hope it makes sense and wasn't too difficult in the end. We'll see how things develop from here!

The next chapter will have some more Kanda background! :3

Well, with the first real background info, this chapter is open for interpretation, guesses etc! Hihi


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author's Notes:**_

_Hi there! Back with a "Kanda's Past" chapter! There will be two of them, because there is a lot to tell you! :3_

_Two flashbacks in this chapter: Kanda getting his Lotus Charm and Kanda meeting General Xavier. _

_**Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**_

* * *

KANDA'S PAST

_Kan__da sat in an armchair very stiffly. The sorceress was sitting opposite him, her face, still hidden beneath the mask, turned in his direction. The young adult was biting his lip, crying after the horror and boundless anger had evaporated like fog in the morning sun. He didn't move and neither did the woman, but he cried and cried. Hanako was asleep in the sorceress' bedroom, lying on a bed which actually resembled a huge pile of red and golden coloured pillows. The sorceress didn't say a word until Kanda finally raised his hand to wipe the tears off his face._

"_The magic I will do for you is very powerful", she whispered in her melodious voice, raising her arms, hands both hidden in the wide sleeves of the silky gown. _

"_Anything which grants me power and keeps me alive if fine", Kanda forced himself to say with a calm voice, while he was still wiping away his tears. _

"_It will come at a cost", the woman replied as she rose out of her chair, but signalled that Kanda should stay seated. _

"_I have a vast fortune. You can have everything, I don't need it", the Japanese said and the woman stood still like a statue, the eyes of the wooden mask staring at Kanda. _

"_I will put the fortune in a saf__e place for you to use at a later time. You will maybe come to need it", the sorceress said and turned away, "however, the price I am talking about is nothing you will pay in earthly values"._

"_What do you mean by that? Do you want my soul?", Kanda asked with a frown and in the situation he found himself in right now he would have promised anything in return for what he was looking for. _

"_No. I will take away your mortality...", she whispered and turned back to Kanda, the tip of her white sleeve raised to her chest, "and bind it to something. You will not die, no matter what happens to you. But this immortality will be limited. You will pay with your time and with your fate"_

"_Fate?", Kanda wanted to know, watching the sorceress go to the back of the room where she pushed a blood red curtain away to reveal a dark wooden door, "how can I sell my fate?"._

"_Listen carefully, Yu Kanda...", the sorceress said and raised her hand to indicate that Kanda should come to her, "if you receive my charm then you have no other choice than to go on fighting until you reach your goal or die because your time runs out", she explained._

"_I'm fine with that", Kanda replied without even thinking and the woman didn't need any more confirmation. She opened the door for Kanda and he entered the next room. The young man looked around; it was very dark and cool. The floor was made of old, creaking wooden tiles and there was dark tapestry on the walls. All curtains were drawn and various candles were burning all over the place. In fact there wasn't much furniture; just a luxurious looking settee next to a table, a bookcase at the back and a dark chest with a silver lock next to it. _

"_Please, sit down. And get undressed", the woman calmly asked and Kanda only moved when the sorceress already was at the back, standing next to the chest. The black-haired man sat down and started to slip out of his blood stained kimono. _

"_Entirely naked?", Kanda asked and the woman turned to him. He couldn't see her expression, but she shook her head._

"_Just your upper body...", she replied calmly. The white haired woman raised her arms and the wooden chest was being moved over the ground until it stood next to the table, where it opened. Kanda risked a peek inside, but all he could see was a longish object - maybe a glass jar - covered by a black silk cloth. The woman put a white silk sheet on the table and took a smaller box out of the chest. She opened it and poured some kind of metallic looking dirt or dust on it. Then she put the longish object next to in on the table. Kanda observed every movement she made without commenting anything. Finally, the woman took out a small knife and put it on the table next to everything else. _

"_I will start now", the sorceress whispered and Kanda nodded. He saw her raise her right arm and the fabric of her kimono slipped back to reveal a pale hand of a ghostly greyish colour. Kanda worried then that he might have gotten in a trap, but it was his grandmother after all who had directed him to this sorceress. He tried to calm himself and continued watching her attentively. Her hand formed a sign and the metallic dust began to form a circle. The jar rose into the air and placed itself in this circle. Kanda observed how the dust and also the object beneath the cloth seemed to change in form. When the sorceress took off the black cloth, Kanda could see something like a big hourglass, but with a dark oily fluid in it instead of sand. The sorceress put her hand against the glass' surface and when she withdrew it, Kanda could see an unfamiliar sign on it. The sign spread over the class and soon the whole jar was glowing brightly. Then the woman turned to face Kanda and approached him._

"_What are you going to do now?", he asked but she put her fingers against his lips to make him shut up. Her touch was gentle but icy cold and even after she had withdrawn her hand an almost painful tingling sensation was left on his lips. Kanda remained silent while she put her cold hand against his naked chest. Her touch was still cold and Kanda could feel his heart pounding against her touch. The woman started to sing, the tune and words were foreign to Kanda, but the gentle sounds were calming him. Her touch suddenly grew warm and then hot and the young man had to force himself to stay calm. It felt as if something was entering his body through the spot on his chest the sorceress was touching. It was almost as if a thick fluid which carried sharp little knives in it, was slowly making its way through every part of his body and then finished its course by leaving him again through the hand of the white haired woman. It was an unpleasant and painful feeling but as soon as the woman let go of Kanda, all pain evaporated. He felt exhausted and breathless, but strangely good; his heart was pounding lively in his chest. Kanda looked up at the sorceress and she moved away, so he could see the hourglass; the black liquid was now clear water and on the upper part of the hourglass swam a faintly pink lotus flower. Kanda was still staring at the flower in awe, while the white haired woman took the knife from the table and turned back to Kanda. _

"_Do not worry", she told him as he eyed the weapon, "hold out your hand to me". The young man hesitated but then he extended his hand upon which the woman made a small cut in the palm of his hand. It didn't hurt much and Kanda could see how the wound closed without leaving any trace but a bit of blood. "Any injury will heal, no matter how grave it is". She pointed to his chest and Kanda became aware of the dark coloured symbol on the left side of his chest. "But you immortality will not last forever. This lotus flower represents the time you have left... Petals will fall when the injuries are too grave, but as long as the last petal is still there, you will not die...". Kanda stared at the petal and he could hear the sorceress' whispers very clearly. "Do not forget Yu Kanda... You paid with your fate..."_

Rabi nodded every now and then while Kanda told his tale without even stopping once.

"She didn't seem to mean any harm then?", he wanted to know and Kanda shook his head.

"No... I didn't feel that she really wanted to help me either... She was... emotionally detached from the things she was doing... Or at least that's the impression I got. She was wearing a mask after all and I could not make out her expression..."

"But do you think that she was evil...? I do not want to make you worry Kanda... But if you accepted a curse from the enemy...", Rabi, scratching his head with his pencil, trailed off. Kanda stared ahead.

"What difference would it make?", he snorted indifferently, „Noah is Noah, right?". Rabi sighed.

"Of course, but if she was on our side... She might have done it to help us. If she was evil then something bad might happen. And think about the possibility of people from the Vatican finding out about it! They would try to cut you up!"

"Tch. Stop that nonsense, Rabi!", Kanda spat and the young man shot him an uncertain grin.

"Okay... I will. Go on with your story. I'm curious!". The Japanese man groaned, but decided to go on:

"I left the house of the sorceress, taking Hanako, the Lotus and a bit of money with me. We travelled to the nearest port, where I asked for a ship to take my sister to Europe. But ships don't depart that often, consequently we had to wait. I left Hanako in the care of an elderly couple, who volunteered to help me. While we waited for the ship to leave the port I was wandering around in the vicinity, killing every Akuma I encountered. Back then I realised how useful the spell was, becoming quite reckless in turn"

"And you still are, today", Rabi spoke up and Kanda shot him a glare.

"Will you stop interrupting me, you idiot?!", he hissed and Rabi raised his hands in defence. Kanda snorted, but continued his tale: "One day, when I returned to the town, Hanako was gone. A ship had volunteered to take her on board, but the haste had prevented them from waiting for me to return. I was unhappy that I wasn't able to see her off, but this way the parting was easier. After she was gone, I decided to travel through Japan, hoping to kill as many Akuma as possible and maybe take my revenge on the Earl. I always travelled, not staying too long anywhere… And before I knew it three years had passed…". Kanda paused and Rabi deemed it safe to ask something.

"How did you live? I mean you surely had to eat and rest", he wondered and Kanda let out a snort.

"I sometimes helped out the people in the towns, doing various jobs. I used up the money I took with me, but never went back to get more. Once I got in an Akuma ambush… I was badly hurt after the fight and retired into an abandoned cabin on a mountain. It was then that I found out that I could not die from hunger or thirst or exhaustion", he said with a rather gloomy face and Rabi shuddered.

"That must have been awful, even for you!"

"It was. I had still been very afraid of everything back then. And I slowly started to realize that I might have given up my humanity… Because it was after three years, that I finally became aware of the fact that I hadn't aged at all… And I got very afraid… This was when General Xavier found me"

_It was a cold, snowy day in early __Spring, the green buds sticking out of the earth were covered in slushy, wet snow. The sky was a desolate grayish white colour and the sun was hiding behind layers of fog. Kanda was dragging himself through the snow, his breath forming white clouds in front of his lips. He had just survived another Akuma raid, but he had been too late to save the villagers. Times like these, he wished that he could just take his hourglass and smash it against the nearest stone. What was the point of him surviving if he didn't even manage to save people? Why had he stopped aging, why hadn't he died of hunger yet, why hadn't he gotten closer to his goal yet? _

_Kanda sat down on a stone, his clothes wet and short-cut hair hanging into his eyes. The hourglass, wrapped in a green cloth, was resting between his legs on the ground and Kanda lowered his head, the melted snow dropping from the tips of his hair and from his face. _

"_Young one!", a voice called and Kanda raised his head in alarm. He could see a figure, with a fur coat wrapped around his body, approaching him. Kanda rose to his feet, hand on Mugen just in case that this was another Akuma. He had learnt the hard way that these monsters were able to take on human form; he was not allowed to let his guard down. The man was tall and probably in his early forties; his long brown hair (which he had tied up in Asian fashion) had grey streaks and his face was lined and his warm brown eyes reminded Kanda of his father. _

"_What are you doing here? Are you hurt?", he asked and looked at the bruises on Kanda's face. The young man didn't answer. "I'm General Xavier, I'm an exorcist, you can trust me"_

"_An exorcist?", Kanda asked and widened his eyes. The foreigner nodded and smiled._

"_We fight Akuma… It seems that there was a raid just nearby, that's why I was so concerned. I'm glad that you seem to be okay". Kanda still stared up at him, which made the tall man frown. "Boy? What is wrong?". The Japanese just pulled out his sword, which made the other man take a step back and produce a weapon of his own; an elegant fencing sword. As the foreigner saw that Kanda was not attacking him, he took a closer look at his outstretched weapon. "Is that… Innocence?". Kanda nodded._

"_This is Mugen. I have just killed the Akuma in the nearby town, but I was too late…"_

"_You're an exorcist?", the man asked disbelievingly, but Kanda shook his head._

"_I'm just wandering the lands, killing Akuma…", he replied and Xavier just looked at him with a blank expression, then he scratched his head. _

"_Boy", he said and put his hand on Kanda's shoulder, "come with me. I will make you my apprentice". The Japanese looked up at Xavier with a puzzled expression._

"_You'll teach me?"_

"_Everything there is to know…", the man promised and Kanda lowered his head._

"_Please take care of me", he whispered, which made Xavier bend down slightly._

"_What is wrong? __Are you crying?", he asked and started patting Kanda's hair, then he pulled him in a tight hug. "I will take care of you. I promise"  
_

"Xavier seems to be similar to Tiedoll, right?", Rabi asked, because Kanda had stopped speaking and just stared at his hands on his knees.

"Unfortunately, yes. Xavier was very fatherly, but without the nasty "you're so cute, Yu" stuff… He really did care about me and this probably led to his death…", Kanda said and Rabi looked at him.

"You cared as well…", he said and Kanda turned to look at him.

"I did. He was the only person I could hold on to. I would have gone mad if not for him", he said and snorted, "I was a pathetic wreck back then. Emotional and rash and affected by every little failure and, worst of all, scared about the future". Rabi furrowed his brow and looked at his friend.

"Because of the Lotus Charm and the fact that you had to keep fighting?", Kanda nodded, "That's only natural, right? Every exorcist and every soldier is scared once he realises that the war could not be as easily won as they had hoped. But you seem to have gotten over it… I somehow understand now why you're so cold today", Rabi said and grinned slightly. Kanda snorted and shot the red-head a glare.

"I just grew up. That's the only thing it needed. Maybe you should hurry up and become a man as well", he said with a smirk, which made Rabi laugh.

"Now you injured my pride!"

"Serves you well, idiot", Kanda replied and rubbed his neck, "I am tired. Let's continue tomorrow". Rabi nodded and they got up.

„There's still 20 years worth of your history to listen to. It would be a waste to rush it, right?", the Bookman said and they left his study.

"Tch. Suit yourself, Rabi", Kanda answered and lifted his hand, before leaving he library.

"Good night to you too, Yu!", Rabi shouted after him, earning himself a few annoyed glares by the people in the library. But Rabi did not care, he grinned and looked down at his note book. "I am sure that your history will be immensely precious".

-o-o-o-

When Kanda got back to his room he was surprised to find a notice fixed to his door.

"What the…", he started and opened his door. He peeked inside and found the whole room to be empty, even his hourglass had been moved! He growled angrily and started to stalk towards the room indicated on the notice. It was one floor further up and he could see another note sticking to the door. "General Yu KANDA and Ellen WALKER" it said and the General ripped it off angrily. He turned the golden knob and the door opened soundlessly. His new room was much bigger than before and well furnished. He had two long windows with stained glass, like before and his Lotus stood between them. There was one canopy bed, a sofa with a low table and a writing desk next to a wardrobe. Timcampy was resting on a pillow on the sofa and Ellen was sitting on the bed, combing her long hair.

"Oi, witch!", Kanda yelled and slammed the door shut, "who gave you permission to move my room?!". The Noah looked up at him, continuing to comb her hair, and smiled.

"Yu Kanda… It was Komui Li who ordered it. He wanted that Finders move your belongings, but I would not allow them into the room. The Lotus flower is too precious for other people to touch. I had Komui furnish this room and moved the Lotus on my own…". Kanda snorted, but he was somehow grateful that she had prevented people from seeing his hourglass. At least she knew how important it was.

"Tch. A simpler one would have been enough! I just want to sleep in here!", he complained, which had Ellen laughing.

"You're a General now. Komui Li claimed that every General was allowed to have such a splendid room. My take would be that he tries to make the Black Order more comfortable for you, so you'll see it as home and stay for a while", she said with a smile and got up from the bed, putting the brush on the night table.

"Are you trying to hint that I will not be able to leave?!", the Noah continued smiling, "I am a bloody General! I have to travel around!", Kanda protested.

"You know that Komui Li wants us to stay close to the Order…", Ellen said.

"But what about the Earl's activity?! I need to get the Innocence before he does!", the Japanese said with an annoyed snort and started to unbutton his shirt.

"There are other exorcist as well, aren't there? Leave it to them", Ellen advised and handed him his pyjamas.

"You're a Noah, it would benefit you if I was not able to collect Innocence", Kanda said and pulled the pyjama top over his head.

"You're right. I don't care about the Innocence, but that doesn't mean that its destruction would benefit my cause", she replied, which made Kanda raise an eyebrow.

"Your cause?", he asked, but Ellen remained silent, "you have your own agenda then?"

"That would be exaggerated. My cause is what made me turn to your side", she said and Kanda frowned.

"That cause… is it connected to the Earl's betrayal?", he asked and saw her smile falter, giving him the answer he wanted to know. "You once said that Destiny does not care, that it equally stands on both sides…". The woman nodded and Kanda continued, "but if you are a Noah, then your actually working for one side only… Is your "cause" an attempt to balance this disequilibrium?". Ellen stayed silent for a while and Kanda continued changing into his pyjamas.

"The cause I inherited tries to convince me to care… As a Noah you are automatically a sacrificial lamb for the Earl's cause. To have an own cause as a Noah is unacceptable as it will hinder the Earl's plans… But we were all human once…Noahs lose this human side and with them, their individual aspirations…", she explained.

"So what does it mean that you still have a personal cause? And what did you mean by "inherited"?", he wanted to know, but he got the answer before Ellen could say anything. "I see. It still is someone else's cause". The white haired Noah remained silent. "So you turned away from the Earl because someone told you to?", he asked and Ellen frowned slightly, "you took on this difficult life of standing in between two incompatible sides, because someone told you to?".

"Yu Kanda…", the young woman started, but he just looked down at her, his intense eyes silencing her.

"You sacrificed something important just because someone told you to…", he concluded and she looked up at him with a pale face, slightly widened eyes and words of protest which had died on her lips. Kanda grabbed her hand as she turned away. "Don't run away from the truth!". She stopped but Kanda didn't let go of her hand.

„Truth… You don't know the truth, Yu Kanda…", Ellen said, without turning her head.

"I might not. But if the truth is too hard to bear, we humans tend to run away from it. Don't do that. If you confide in someone and share your suffering, you will feel how the burden is eased, even if only for a bit and only for a short while…", he let go of her hand, but she stayed, "don't run to the source of your suffering…". Ellen finally turned around and studied Kanda's face. She was not crying, but her eyes were sparking with unshed tears.

"Your words sting more than I'd like them to, Yu Kanda", she confessed.

"That's good", Kanda said and Ellen frowned, "because it tells me that somewhere inside of you there still is a human", he said and flipped his fingers against her forehead, "you don't have to care for the world and its people. I mostly don't either, but we have a purpose in this war". Ellen rubbed her forehead silently, "a decisive purpose…".

"I don't like to take decisions", she said quietly and looked up at Kanda.

"No one does… But that's how life works", he replied and Ellen studied his face. Because she didn't say anything Kanda turned away from her with an embarrassed cough. Surprisingly, he had managed to make her stay and he has also found something out about her, but asking her more would be straining his good luck. "Well then, I will go to sleep now", he announced.

"Very well, Yu Kanda, do that"

"Will you retire to your Ark?", he asked and threw an indecisive look at the bed.

"I have my room inside of the Ark. I do not really know why Komui Li didn't give me my own room here as well". Ellen raised her hand and a door appeared at the opposite wall. Kanda wondered if he should ask her to stay, it was somehow a very bad idea, because he still had the Rome incident in the back of his head. But he did it anyway.

"You can stay here if you like", he said and pointed to the bed, „If I have a say in anything then I would rather have you stay inside the order than with the other Noahs". Ellen raised her eyebrow at him amusedly. "Just don't… try anything or I'll kick you out of the bed".

"Do you think I would violate you?", she asked and Kanda snorted indignantly.

"Don't talk nonsense! Now get changed, switch off the light and get to bed!", he shouted and got under the blanked with slightly red cheeks. The Noah of Destiny smiled slyly, her index finger raised to her lips, as if she was contemplating. Kanda found it very annoying, but it was a good thing that the bed was that huge. When Ellen, dressed in a long white nightgown, got under the covers, easily two people could still fit between them.

"Good night, Yu Kanda", Ellen said and the lights switched off on their own.

"Good night", Kanda growled and shut his eyes. At the brink of sleep, he couldn't help imagining how she might have fallen asleep next to her late husband...

_To be continued  
_

_Notes:_

_More of Kanda's past is revealed! Just a note: what we get in flashbacks is not really what Kanda tells Rabi. Kanda doesn't even remember the things as clearly as they were written. But telling Rabi brings back certain details that he had forgotten._

_And I'm sorry, I don't really like how the end of this chapter turned out… It seems a bit rushed but I couldn't think of another way to write it… I should have been studying for psycholinguistics... X3_

_I hope that you aren't growing tired of Kanda's past, because there is even more to tell! :3_


	9. Chapter 9

**_Author's Notes:_**

_And now, the second part of Kanda's past! :3 A lot of flash-backs in here (which are still written in Italics). Enjoy! _

**_D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino_**

* * *

KANDA'S PAST PART 2

When Kanda woke the next morning he was slightly confused to find the faint light of the dawn shining through his windows. He stared up at the thick material of the poster bed's curtains and then he turned his face to the right. His previous room had always been dark and cold, but here he was in a big bed and warm room, and there, on the other side of the bed, lay a woman. Kanda looked at the sleeping Noah for a few moments, watching her chest rise with each deep breath she took. Her beauty could really not be denied and Kanda even thought that watching her was quite a pleasure.

"No wonder she uses her beauty to lure men into bed. It was foolish to assume that she would be a chaste virgin just because she is a Noah and looks so young", Kanda mused and sat up in bed. Ellen's lips formed two syllables as the bed shifted, but she did not wake up. Kanda got out of the bed and walked through his huge room to the wardrobe. He took out some casual clothes and left the room so he could wash himself. Their floor had a separate bathing area, more splendid than that of the exorcists; there were Asian fashioned baths but also a tiled room with a china tub with golden water-taps and washbasins. He was happy that he met neither Tiedoll nor Sakoro in the baths, washed and got dressed very quickly. He usually liked to enjoy his baths, but right now he had better things to do than being lazy.

Upon entering his room he found Ellen sitting on the bed, dressed in white again.

"Good morning, Yu Kanda", she greeted with a smile and combed her fingers through her hair.

"Morning…", the General replied, "it is a little early for breakfast but let's head down", he suggested. Ellen smiled at him and nodded.

"I still have things to go over with Rabi. I don't think we will have a mission in the next time, because of what you said yesterday", Kanda continued as they were walking down to the dining hall.

"Yes… That's fine with me", the Noah replied and Kanda threw her a glance.

"What will you be doing if you're not with me?", he wanted to know and Ellen smiled up at him.

"I still have to report back", she answered and she didn't need to add anything for Kanda to understand what she meant. But was letting her go back to the Earl such a good idea…? On the other hand, was confining her any better? Kanda doubted that she would just put up with his patronizing. He had to leave her certain freedoms and he had made his point yesterday, he just had to hope that "reasoning" would be more successful than using force (physically or emotionally – Kanda was repugnant to both).

"Fine. You are free to do that, just make sure I have a means of contacting you", he reminded her and Ellen smiled pleasantly.

There weren't many people in the dining hall and they could sit in relative silence, focussing on their food. Because there was nothing better to do than eat and look at Ellen from time to time, Kanda started pondering again. He had spent the night with a woman, even though nothing had happened. While he was not particularly fond of Ellen and couldn't imagine that he could emotionally attach to her, it was still something which made him think. Maybe it was daring to ask, but he still was curious.

"Did you not mind sleeping in the same bed as me?", Kanda wanted to know and Ellen looked up from her food.

"I think if anyone would have felt bothered it would have been you…", she said with an amused smile. Kanda growled, but chose not to comment on that with a sharp reply, he'd rather continue his line of thought.

"You are romantically involved with another person, aren't you?", he asked and Ellen looked at him in mild surprise, clearly not expecting Kanda to start that topic, "doesn't he mind how you work?"

"Heis a very open minded person", Ellen said and Kanda raised an eyebrow, "he is aware that I often charm other men and he does not mind. He is perfectly aware that work and our life are separable, at least to some extend. I do not expect him to be faithful either".

"Doesn't sound very promising", Kanda commented and Ellen just smiled, then turned her attention back to her plate. However, the General was feeling daring: "Was it the same with your husband?". He watched her stop, spoon raised and eyes focused on the porridge. For a few moments she stayed like this, then she closed her eyes, sighed and put the spoon down.

"No more of this topic", she said and smiled up at Kanda, who just shrugged.

As they were sitting in silence, eating, more people showed up and eventually Rabi showed himself.

"Good morning you two!", he said and sat down next to Kanda, smiling cheerfully.

"Good morning to you too, dear Rabi", Ellen greeted with a smile. Rabi grinned at her, then he turned to Kanda.

"When do you want to continue, Yu?", Rabi wanted to know and Kanda glared at him.

"Stop using my name, you fool!", he spat but it had no effect on Rabi, "tch. As soon as you've stuffed your mouth".

"You could be a little bit more polite, Yu. This early morning grumpiness doesn't suit you", the red-head commented which made Kanda roll his eyes in annoyance.

"Hurry up and eat", he replied and Rabi started eating.

"Ellen, what are you doing when I borrow Yu?", he wondered and looked at Ellen. The woman smiled.

"There is a lot I haven't seen yet. The premise of the Dark Order is far bigger than I would have expected", she answered.

"So you'll go around exploring?", Rabi asked and Ellen smiled. Kanda of course did not like that idea. She might be an exorcist and she had free access to most rooms, but she was also a Noah – and a Noah didn't have to go wandering the Dark Order all on her own.

"You should ask Linali to keep you company", he commented and Ellen looked up at him, "While I guess that you can entertain yourself on your own, it might be more rewarding if you have someone to guide you and to talk to".

"You do have a point", Ellen said with a smile and Kanda wondered if she knew his true intentions. Even if she did, it didn't really matter as long as she played along, "I will retire to my room and then I will go look for Linali Li. Maybe Hanako Kanda wants a tour as well". She rose from the bench and smiled at the two. "We will see each other later on". With this she took her tray and walked away.

"Now hurry up", Kanda said as Rabi just wanted to say something. The red-head took heed of his threatening voice and ate as fast as he could.

--

Rabi led him back down into his study and took out his notebook. He always looked serious when he was doing his job as a bookman, Kanda had noticed some time ago. But that didn't mean that he wouldn't be silly from time to time.

"So, Yu! Let's continue with your fascinating life!", he exclaimed and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"I don't know if I should regret telling you…", he said and Rabi laughed.

"Aw, come on! I'm your friend, tell me your story!", he said and Kanda just raised an eyebrow at him.

"You haven't told me your story either", he said and Rabi blinked at him.

"Uh, well… That's because… You know…", he stammered, clearly embarrassed and uneasy. Kanda just snorted.

"I'm not interested anyway", he said and Rabi breathed out a sigh of relief.

"I wouldn't have expected anything else!", the red-head said and Kanda groaned, "We stopped when General Xavier found you! I did some additional research on General Xavier yesterday. He joined the order when he was 30. He was a very good fencer back in his day. He was found to be compatible when his daughter died and his wife brought her back. Fortunately for him, he had just received a very old and expensive fencing sword, which was forged with Innocence…"

"I remember him telling me something like this… He said "it was fate"… Being a compatible and being chosen by Innocence on the right moment was God's will. But also His way of showing us that we alone are not important and cannot make good decisions. We move in the roads God has built for us. I didn't agree back then. And I don't agree today…". Rabi pondered about his for a while.

„Well… You can't really do anything against what you are and what you are required to do. I'm a bookman and I can't change that. You're an exorcist and you can't change it either", he said and Kanda snorted.

„But we can choose to make a difference. I know we can. Other people, maybe even God, made decisions that shape our being, we ourselves make decisions that will alter the way we live. It's not all up to God and Innocence and fate. We are humans after all, _we_ are the ones who live. You can't tell me that this has no meaning at all". Rabi looked at him for a while, clearly surprised, then he laughed.

"You're quite the philosopher… I wouldn't have expected it! But you have a bit more experience with life than I do. Maybe I should have expected you to be somehow mature in your way of thinking", he said and Kanda frowned.  
"I don't like the way you manage to mock me while you're apparently praising me", he snorted and Rabi had to laugh.

"That's what friends are for!", he chirped.

"Tch. Shut up, you imbecile!", Kanda shouted and Rabi just raised his hands in defence.

"I will, but continue your story! Please!", the red-head replied and Kanda snorted. After a short silence, Kanda decided to continue from where he left off the previous day.

"General Xavier was very aware that Japan was dangerous, because there were many Akuma swarming around. He had received the mission to find out what was going on in Japan. Accordingly, we did not leave Japan, even though he would have liked to so he could properly train me. However, he also saw that I was very able with the sword, even though I just used it in its dormant state. I had managed to invocate various times, always in very dangerous situations, but I was scared of my Innocence and its abilities. Xavier first had to teach me how to get a better connection to Mugen, raising my synchronization rate in the process"

"Well, the Hell Insects do look rather frightening… No wonder you were scared", Rabi commented and Kanda just snorted, "well, go on".

"Xavier found out very fast about the Lotus Charm, because I was able to cancel out the Akuma virus and survived every injury. Xavier had always been an amateur alchemist and magician, always carrying heavy books on spells with him. Of course the spell intrigued him and I volunteered to let myself be examined by him. I was actually hoping that he could reverse it, but he had not clue how to do it…"

"_My boy… This is really something I cannot quite put my finger on… I've never seen such magic. It clearly was performed by a very able magician! I am a bit worried about the fact that you do not know who gave it to you", Xavier said and Kanda sat back up, buttoning his shirt. "I have tired to find out as much as possible, but I still am not aware of the entirety of this Lotus Charm…". He closed his book with a sigh. Kanda and Xav__ier were staying at a small room the General had rented. They had stopped travelling so that Xavier could inspect the spell more closely, because the fact that there was a time constraint worried him. "You know that it was silly to accept a spell form a magician you didn't know!", he chided and Kanda snorted._

"_I know, but my grandmother told me I should visit her, I've told you already!", he retorted and Xavier had to laugh and patted Kanda's head reassuringly. _

"_It's okay… You don't need to worry about it too much… It was fate that it happened and I'm sure that the sorceress planned something with it. I don't think she meant ill, or she wouldn't have given you such a strong spell"._

"_Xavier, why don't we leave Japan already? You know that I hinder you, you should just let me go to headquarters", the Japanese said and Xavier smiled at him._

"_I still have a mission to complete. We don't know yet why Akuma are that frequent in Japan. And… Think about it; if you went to the order now, everyone would find out about the spell…"_

"_And what's so bad about it?", Kanda wanted to know and the General sighed deeply. _

"_The Order is trying everything it can to gain the overhand in this war. They don't care about human lives, if it just strengthens their army. You must understand, Yu, that if you went there and it became public that you had such a powerful spell, the scientists would try to use it to their advantage. I don't want you to become a guinea pig for their monstrous research…", he said and Kanda lowered his head._

"_I understand…", Kanda said quietly and Xavier smiled again, tousling Kanda's hair._

„_If you worry so much about being a hindrance, my dear travel companion, you just have to get stronger", he said and grinned. __Kanda looked at him and managed a smile._

„_I guess so…" _

„We stayed in Japan, but General Xavier knew exactly that I was hindering his mission. As I've said before, I was too rash and emotional. Even as I became more experienced as an exorcist, I would still endanger myself and especially Xavier, by senselessly running into the fight. Xavier saved me a lot, even though I could not die from injuries, and took damage in turn. He was very strong, but his Innocence was better suited for close combat and single enemies. Of course he would balance this with his inhuman swiftness, but…", he stopped and looked at his hands. Rabi stayed silent as well, but then he decided to speak up.

"He died in an Akuma attack, close to the capital. I read that it was a whole swarm of level twos that were involved… But as a General he should have been strong enough to kill them… It was always a mystery why he died in the attack…". He looked at Kanda and could see his expression. "Are you okay?". Kanda didn't reply to that, but chose to explain the circumstances of General Xavier's death:

"Ten years ago, we were near Edo. Xavier had voiced his suspicion, that Edo could be the base of the Earl which would explain the huge masses of Level twos. Back then there were few level three Akuma, but we had to deal with them once or twice as well… I was… very foolish when we got to Edo… Just having heard that the Earl could be in the Akuma infested town, my anger and desire for revenge resurfaced. I thought that this was the chance to end this and finally be freed of the curse… Xavier warned me, he told me that we should not get too close and just observe the town from a distance"

"_Yu. My mission is not to kill the Earl, but to find out why there is so much Akuma activity!", Xavier hissed and grabbed the young man by his arm before he could storm off. Kanda turned towards him, anger flaming in his eyes._

"_But if the Earl is there we need to defeat him! Isn't that our aim as exorcist?! How can we ignore this chance at victory?!", he roared, but didn't break free from Xavier. The General heaved a deep troubled sigh, managing to pull the younger exorcist back. They stood in the shadows of a bridge, looking at the capital town. The air was filled with the mechanic sounds of Akuma gears; Kanda could hear them loudly in his head, which made him nervous. He was on edge, he wanted to go there, he wanted to kill all those Akuma and then this Earl of Millennium. How could he be sitting here, merely observing?!_

"_Of course it is, but we are only two people, even if we managed to defeat all the Akuma, the Earl would surely have more forces to back him up! And don't think that the Earl is not strong himself! Do not be a fool, Yu!". The younger exorcist grit his teeth, tightened his grip on Mugen. Xavier could see how he tried hard to calm and patted his shoulder, "good. Now let us observe the town". Xavier raised his arm, his weapon pointing upwards. The blade started shining and Xavier brought it down and up again in a circle and light surrounded them. Kanda had seen Xavier use this concealing magic very rarely; it made them temporarily invisible to Akuma, but their freedom of action was very limited as well. Kanda was still very nervous when he started walking closely behind Xavier. They made their way over the bridge and into the capital. There were no humans on the streets, but huge amounts of Akuma. While Kanda was tempted to attack them, Xavier kept a fierce grip on Kanda's hand, so that he was not able to draw Mugen for the moment. _

"_If we killed these Akuma, the Earl's army would take a great blow", Kanda whispered as they were standing on a town square. Akuma were everywhere and Kanda was feeling even worse now. He could hear their gears as if they were heartbeats pounding in his ears and it was driving him crazy._

"_Yu, get a grip on yourself!", Xavier said, as he became aware of the state Kanda was in. He let go of his hand to grab Kanda's shoulders "Listen to me, Yu! Listen! You can't defeat them!". Kanda looked up at him, but his vision was slightly blurred and he had to concentrate in order to see the concerned, brown eyes of his General, which still reminded him of his father. _

"_Xavier, there is something wrong with my head…", Kanda said and grabbed his head. _

"_Don't rely on the Charm now! It will only spread if you do!" Kanda raised his head and looked past Xavier, where he could see a Level three approaching. Its many eyes were focused on them, even though he could not see or hear them thanks to the barrier. But the noise this level three Akuma was making was even louder than those of the level twos. Kanda slowly lifted his sword, eyes still focused on the level three. Xavier widened his eyes and turned his head around. They had to get away now, because even if the Akuma might not see or hear them, they could still feel them if they were touched. And if this happened, Xavier would need to start fighting because Kanda could not defeat a level three yet. _

"_Yu! Yu come to your senses! __YU!", Xavier shook him, but Kanda just shoved him away. Then he broke out of the barrier and attacked the Akuma. It took a step backwards, but then it started laughing._

"_I was right! An exorcist! I smelled you! __I smelled your Innocence!", it shouted and blocked Kanda's attack. The other Akuma became aware of Kanda's presence as well and started forming a circle around the stronger Akuma and him. Kanda was dizzy, but he had to fight him. After invocating, he released his Innocence, allowing it to feed on his life energy. _

"_YU!", Xavier shouted and the barrier was released, "YU!". Kanda didn't turn around but started fighting against the laughing Level three. He could hear Xavier calling his name over and over again, but he fought on continuously. He powered up his Innocence even more, using two fully charged blades to attack the Akuma. And he was able to slice it. But what happened afterwards, when the loud clicking of the gears in his head died down, Kanda no longer knew. He could hear Xavier shouting his name and then he passed out._

"When I came to I was lying on a bed in a dark room", Kanda said quietly, "I felt exhausted and pain washed over me. But the first thing I saw was the hourglass next to the bed and one pink petal lying on the bottom of the water. The first petal had fallen. I could barely remember what had happened, I only could still hear Xavier's voice shouting my name ringing in my head. At once I was horrified and sprang out of bed despite the pain. My body had no injuries, but it felt like it was on fire. I ran out of the hut, looking for Xavier, but I couldn't find him…". He stopped and Rabi looked at him. It was very confusing to hear that Kanda was that affected by the presence of Akuma. That has never happened on the missions with Kanda, even after they had fought countless Level three.

"How did you get out of the capital?", Rabi wanted to know, ignoring his other concern for the moment.

"I was rescued… By General Cross…"

"Cross?!", Rabi shouted and Kanda nodded, "that guy had been missing for years now!".

"I know… But on the day of Xavier's death he was in the capital…".

_When Kanda got out of the house he found a man sitting on a fence, smoking a cigarette. He had long, flaming red hair and wore black clothes and a hat on which a round golden ball with wings__ rested. _

"_Who are you! __Where is General Xavier?!", Kanda demanded and reached for Mugen, that he had found next to the hourglass. He only received laughter from the man and he turned towards him. Half of his face was hidden by a white mask, which made Kanda raise his eyebrows in confusion. Was he a human or an Akuma?_

"_Old man Xavier is dead. I just shipped his body off to Europe", the man answered and the Japanese exorcist froze. _

"_Dead…?", he asked and the man just blew out the white smoke, "dead?! How can he be dead?!". The man pushed himself away from the fence and Kanda could see the golden ball lifting from his hat and flying in mid-air next to the stranger's head._

"_You were there, weren't you, brat?", the man asked and scratched his neck, "If I remember correctly there was a swarm of Akuma and a stupid brat that decided to rush into the fight". Kanda paled and stared at the man, "As the brat was inexperienced and quite stupid, Xavier had to blow his cover and started fighting. You know, if you have to protect an unconscious person, it's quite hard to fight against hundreds of Akuma…". _

"_No…", Kanda whispered and guilt welled up inside of him. _

"_When I got there, Xavier had defeated all the Akuma in the vicinity, but was badly wounded. His last words were: "Take Yu to safetly". So I did, couldn't deny him his dying wish". Again, the sound of his name rang in Kanda's ears, he felt guilty and angry at himself. Yu… It sounded like a reproach. Yu, don't be foolish, he remembered Xavier saying. But he had been foolish… He had caused the death of Xavier because of his immature stupidity. „By the way, before you start crying, I still have something to say to you". Kanda grit his teeth and stared up at the red-head, anger focusing on the stranger. "The curse was too strong for you. I took care of it for the moment. Be cautious with using the Lotus or other people might die because of you"._

"_Who are you…?", Kanda managed to ask and looked up at the stranger._

"_I'm Cross Marian, also a General of the Black Order. We surely will meet again. I guess I'll send a more fitting guy to come and pick you up", he answered and continued smoking. Kanda looked up at him with a frown.  
"What do you mean by that?"_

"_Well, I wouldn't want to take you in as a pupil. I would have to return to the Order. And I don't want to, I have better things to do", he answered, "but I must say you look very promising…". Kanda just looked up at him and Cross lifted his hand, then he started walking off, without another word and left Kanda to mourn by himself. _

"I didn't stay in Japan for much longer and made my way westwards where Tiedoll found me. I still remembered what Xavier had said about the scientists using me to find more about the curse, but I had to take that risk. So I went to the Black Order and you know the rest…", Kanda finished and Rabi let out the breath he was holding.

"Uff. You really did have to go through a lot of bad things to get to where you are… I… I guess I also understand now why you don't want me to call you by your first name…", Rabi said and Kanda sighed.

"It's okay. The feeling of guilt I had connected to my first name is no longer as strong as before… Xavier's death did teach me a lot of things…"

"And the fact that Cross was there somehow could imply that he was the one corresponding to Xavier, right?", Rabi asked and Kanda shrugged.

"It might be… He knew how to change the curse, even though I don't know what exactly he did…", he answered. He remembered that Ellen said that Cross had been her apprentice. What if this referred to magic use? It was at least worth a thought. Rabi was silent for a while, then he closed his note book.

"Thank you, Yu. I will value this. I am proud that you really chose to tell me all of this, it must have been hard on you"

"That's the way it is. That's the nature of memories", Kanda replied with a snort. Rabi stayed silent for a while, looking at his notes with a thoughtful expression, then he turned back to Kanda.

"I hope you don't mind me asking… But where does Ellen fit into your past?", he wondered and Kanda froze. Of course Rabi would think of that! How could he have forgotten!

"Well…", he started but just couldn't think of a lie. Rabi raised his eyebrow and Kanda just snorted uneasily. "That's none of your business, you idiot!", he said and smacked him on the head.

"Ow! Why are you getting so defensive!", he asked, nursing his head, "you could have told me that you didn't want to reveal that!". Kanda stayed silent and Rabi tried to figure it out by himself.

"Well… You're forty…", he mumbled and Kanda just hoped that he didn't make the connection to the Noahs just yet, "she could be your daughter!".

"Nonsense!", Kanda roared and Rabi evaded his fist, "instead of coming to all the wrong conclusions you'd rather help me by finding out more about the Noahs!"

"About the Fourteenth?", Rabi asked after Kanda had calmed down and the General nodded.

"And about those who might be connected to him. Look for Noahs who are said to have special magic abilities. If the Fourteenth had someone to help him, then it means that we might have an ally right inside of the enemy's core", he said and Rabi's eye sparkled.

"That would surely be a great help for us! I'll try to find out as much as possible! You know what? I'll do it right now!", Rabi announced and Kanda had to snort amusedly.

"Fine. Do that. I count on you". Rabi grinned, sprang up on his feet, and started to take books from the shelves. Kanda watched him work for some moments, then he decided to go back up and see if this Noah, with which he still had a temporal truce, had returned.

_To be continued_

_**Notes:**_

_Yes, Kanda's past has been revealed! I think we now know everything there is to know, at least for now. I almost felt bad for killing Xavier, but oh well. It's all for the sake of plot. Now for the sake of "equality", we should move back to Ellen!_

_Questions, thoughts? :3_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's Notes:**_

_Already at chapter 10! I am a bit surprised that I managed to pull through until now, I started with nothing much in my head for this fanfiction, I'm glad that ideas keep coming! :D Thanks to all of those who keep reading and reviewing!_

_No more flashbacks in this chapter and we mostly stay inside of the Black Order._

_Spoilers for the Ark arc, but I've already warned you about that earlier on I think._

**_Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino_**

* * *

While Kanda was having his appointment with Rabi, Ellen went back inside the Ark. She did not know what important matters Kanda had to discuss with his Bookman friend, but she didn't really care either. She was pleased that Kanda was reasonable enough not to keep her from going to report to the Earl. The things he had said yesterday really did shake her up good. Of course she knew that her cause was Mana's wish, but trying to complete what Mana started was her own choice. She didn't really need to do it, actually she had been very tempted to just bow to her destiny, had not the Earl made that terrible mistake. Choosing the right thing to do was just too difficult right now. By joining the exorcists, she had made sure that Mana's wish _could_ be accomplished, but she still was not willing to turn away from the Earl's side completely. She was not sure what would happen if her Innocence got stronger than it already was, but she could not risk it yet. Ellen opened a door and got inside her room in the Noah manor. She left her chambers after changing into her white dress and wandered the corridors until she arrived at the main hall. The Earl was not here, but she could see Lulubell sitting at the table, apparently waiting.

"Dear Lulubell, it's nice to see you", she greeted and Lulubell took off her glasses to look at the other woman.

"My sister, welcome back", she greeted and got up from her chair, "I was asked by the Earl to wait for your return", she said. Ellen looked at her quizzically, "He left to attend to important matters, I am to act as a messenger".

"I understand", Ellen replied and walked over to Lulubell, "I successfully postponed the date the Vatican would meet with the Exorcists"

"Well done, the Earl expected nothing less of you", the black haired woman commented and Ellen smiled politely, "we don't need the Exorcists to find out information about our plans just yet"

"Did the Vatican manage to get hold of Information concerning the Ark?", Ellen wondered and saw how Lulubell nodded.

"This they did. The Earl suspects that it was Mana who betrayed the information, because it seems that they also learnt of the Fourteenth...", she explained, "follow me". Lulubell started walking and Ellen followed until they reached a dark, cold room, far under the surface.

"The Earl wants to transfer the Akuma Plant to the Ark, so that it can be moved easier. It was only temporarily put here, as you know, because we can't move the Ark anymore without Mana… But of course, we have you now… So the Earl deems it best to transfer the Plant back to the Ark"

"I don't understand… I am the player now, this I am aware of, but if the Vatican knows about the Ark and could know about Mana, wouldn't it be unwise to transfer the Akuma plant back to the Ark?", Ellen wondered and Lulubell looked at her.

"Do you mind?", she wanted to know and Ellen startled at her unexpected question and shook her head.

"No, of course I do not mind. Be my guest and transfer it", Ellen said and Lulubell looked at her.

"We would also need to set up Skull guards in the Akuma Plant room. Do not worry, they will not bother you inside of the Ark", she continued and Ellen shook her head with a polite smile.

"I am fine with that, if the Guards make sure that no one can access the Plant then that is completely in my intentions".

"Ellen, I know that you still feel for Mana's ideals", Lulubell said and Ellen widened her eyes shortly, before she continued smiling.

"What are you saying? It was Mana I loved, not his ideals", she answered which made the taller woman sigh slightly.

"I am sure that Mana's legacy is a burden to you and I know that you cannot let go of Mana, but don't let yourself be fooled. It is too dangerous to stick to Mana's agenda, especially for you, a Noah carrying Innocence", Lulubell lifted her hand and brushed her palm over Ellen's silky hair and the left side of her face, "a Noah who was cursed by an Akuma… You are fragile, sister. Do not break".

"Dearest Lulubell... I appreciate your concern, but I am not in any danger. As long as I do not betray the Innocence I am fine. And the Earl pays attention to only give me missions that won't disrupt the balance", Ellen answered and Lulubell withdrew her hand, putting her glasses back on.

"I am glad to hear that, but you shouldn't betray your Noah either, she could turn against you as well. You've stayed in your human form for a long time now without changing back once...", she said and turned towards the Akuma plant. Ellen looked at the huge form of the "egg" as well, but averted her gaze quickly. She didn't like to stay in this place for too long and the Earl also didn't allow her in very often. This was the place where the Akuma were "born", a place full of sorrow for Ellen, hearing the distorted heartbeats and the mechanical hum of the egg made her restless. Having a cursed eye that could see, hear and feel Akuma was not something that came in handy down here. And on top of that her Innocence started stinging, but she held her arm to her chest, confining it.

"You know that my Innocence got stronger on that day 25 years ago. You were not here, but you must have heard…", Ellen said and Lulubell turned back towards her.

"Is that bitterness I can hear trembling in your voice?", she asked and looked at the white-haired woman. Ellen did not reply to this question but continued talking:

"I managed to balance the two sides, but it would be too risky to change now…".

"Well… Dying certainly wouldn't benefit anyone…", Lulubell said and Ellen lowered her head.

"Dear Lulubell, I must depart now, the screams of the Akuma Plant resound in my head…", she said after a while and the black haired woman nodded. "We will see each other again at the next family reunion", with this Ellen turned around and left the cold room. She let out a shaky breath of relief and looked at her trembling Innocence hand. "This has to wait… It's too dangerous to choose sides…".

--

Kanda found the Noah in the lounge, where she was enjoying tea with Hanako and Linali.

"Are you already done with sight seeing?", Kanda asked the women and Ellen smiled at him, putting her tea cup down.

"I have to confess that I didn't even get to start", she answered and Kanda rose an eyebrow at her.

"Hanako and I both had a break from work", Linali spoke up and pointed to the unoccupied seat next to her. Kanda sat down with a frown, not wanting to actually be part of their chatting, "so we got some tea and started talking". Kanda just nodded, then he turn to look at his sister.

"How did it go?", he asked and she smiled at him.

"It was great! Everyone's so nice and I learnt a lot of new things! The equipment is far better here than it was in Rome! I am sure that I will enjoy myself!", she answered with a grin.

"Good for you…", Kanda muttered, he doubted that she would still enjoy herself if she had to tend to the heavily wounded. The man rose again and looked down at Ellen.

"I will give you a tour if you want", he said and she blinked up at him, mildly surprised.

"Oh, how nice of you", she said and looked to the other women, "if you would excuse me?"

"Of course! Enjoy yourselves!", Linali said with a smile and sipped her tea, while Hanako just grinned at her brother. Kanda ignored her and started walking out of the lounge, Ellen following.

Kanda led the Noah out into the gardens instead of giving her a tour of the Black Order.

"Is there a particular reason why you want to explore?", he asked her as they walked over the gravel path around the huge tower building. Most of the premise was covered by a forest, but there were also small gardens with flowers where vegetables and fruits were cultivated. Ellen smiled at him, then she continued looking in front of her.

"Not really. I am not a spy of his side, I rather am one of yours", she answered and Kanda stopped her, pointing down another small path leading into the forest.

"I see. I had to ask, I can't take any risks. I am sure you understand my situation", he told her and she laughed silently, looking up at him.

"Of course I do, Yu Kanda. But you already told me not to bring anybody of my _family_ inside. I still remember quite well and I do not plan to allow such a thing to happen". Kanda looked at her, then he snorted, going into the forest. "Where are we going?"

"No where… I just show you the gardens and the forest", he answered and they continued walking in silence. There were leaves on the ground and it smelled of rich damp earth. Overhead birds were chirping in the branches and the light threw bright spots through the leaves onto the ground. They arrived at the end of the path, where there was a small clearing and a wooden bench to sit on. Kanda went there and sat down, Ellen doing the same.

"Did you report back?", he wanted to know and Ellen nodded with a smile, closing her eyes to enjoy the warm sun and the chirping of the birds. "Did he say anything?"

"No. He was not present. He had something important to attend. I do not know what", she answered and opened her eyes again. She turned to look at Kanda. "There will be guards put in the Ark"

"Guards? Why?", Kanda asked, frowning, „do they suspect you?"

"This might be the case, yes. But I have not been accused yet and I doubt that I will be". She chose not to tell him of the Akuma egg just now, she couldn't risk that he demanded entrance.

"Will this restrict you in any form?", he wanted to know and Ellen shook her head.

"No, the guards are in a secluded room, they will not really come into the main part of the Ark. They also won't be able to leave the Ark, you have nothing to fear", Ellen replied.

"Won't they know when you let me inside?", Kanda asked and the Noah shook her head, "well. Then that's fine. Just pay attention"

"I always do", Ellen said with a smile. Kanda snorted but then he started thinking about what Rabi told him. He couldn't possibly ask her any details about the curse, because then he would have to explain how he found out. And he especially couldn't ask her about the 14th because that was restricted knowledge as well. But there was one thing he could surely ask:

"I remembered that Cross found me when my last General died… That was 10 years ago", he started after long silence between them. Ellen opened her eyes again, which he had closed sometime before, and turned to look at him. "There are a lot of things I remember now that you're back", Kanda explained, even though it was not the complete truth. Ellen just nodded and waited for him to continue. "He told me that my curse had been too strong… And that he had adjusted it for the moment… You, as the one performing the spell, might know what he meant by that". Ellen didn't look that happy to hear him asking about it, but she smiled and nodded.

"Exactly what he said; my magic had been too strong for you. I understand that there is now an additional seal on the Charm, which fades away over time…"

"How would you know?", Kanda wondered and Ellen sighed, "you still correspond to Cross, don't you?"

"There is no sense in denying it. I have corresponded with him, but I haven't head of him for some time now"

"Was he in Japan because he had business with you?", Kanda wanted to know and Ellen nodded, "I see… But what about the Charm?"

"It made you hear the Akuma didn't it…?", she asked and Kanda nodded, which made Ellen sigh slightly. She lifted her hand and brushed away her white hair over her left eye. The strange gear-like monocle, Kanda had seen on their first mission together, appeared.

"This is my curse which allows me to see, hear and feel the Akuma and their souls. Part of it must have been transferred while I did the charm. I apologize for that", Ellen said and lowered her hand, the gear disappearing again. "But Marian Cross sealed this away"

"So that's the reason why I was feeling so bad in the Capital…", Kanda muttered, "it was almost as if I was forced to fight against this level three, something inside of it begging me to come and fight…"

"I really regret that this happened, but it was not for me to control", Ellen said and Kanda looked at her.

"Tch. I don't care. It's gone now. At least for the moment", he said and the Noah smiled at him. "As long as it won't have more consequences". She did not reply which kind of unsettled the General. There was new silence between them, while neither of them spoke at all and even the birds seemed to be quiet. "Do I still have to pay?", Kanda spoke up and Ellen turned to him with a puzzled expression in her grey eyes. He still looked up into the treetops, then he looked at her, solemnly. "With my fate I mean". Ellen studied his face, then she formed a gentle smile.

"We all have to… Until the day we die…", she answered and looked at her hands, "but for now…", she continued, "you have paid enough". She raised her head and smiled at him, "shouldn't we go back inside?", she asked and got up on her feet. Kanda looked at her sceptically, but also stood up and followed her.

"You don't like to answer questions, do you?", Kanda stated and could hear the Noah laugh.

"I just don't like answering certain questions, Yu Kanda", she replied and Kanda frowned, "because there are things which nobody needs to know"

"Even if they concern me? Don't I have the right to know?", Kanda asked and Ellen looked over her shoulder, smiling calmly.

"Of course you have a right to know, but not everything I do ultimately must involve you…", she answered and Kanda had to snort.

"Right… Just don't keep relevant information to yourself", he reminded her and received a smile as reply.

When they got back inside they were greeted by Linali.

"Kanda, General Tiedoll just returned. He wants to talk to you later on, he heard that you took a disciple", she said and Kanda groaned, "he was reduced to tears of joy when he was informed, or so I heard".

"That's so like him. Tch. We'll meet him later on, I'll first have to talk to her", he said and pointed to Ellen. Linali smiled and nodded.

"I'm sure you'll find him in his room", Linali replied and then she left, surely going to get more coffee for the Science Division. Without saying anything Kanda made his way up to his own room, making sure that he avoided Tiedoll for the time being.

"You seem nervous, Yu Kanda", Ellen remarked and Kanda shot her an angry glare.

"Because I'll have to talk about you! A lot of people know that you're the one I've been searching for. Tiedoll knows that I've been looking for someone who was connected to my curse. He might be stupid but he'll still be able to add the pieces together"

"So you intend to fabricate a plausible story?", she wondered and Kanda let himself drop on the bed, groaning slightly.

"I don't like to lie to him… But I can't tell him the truth!", he said and tried to think of something. Ellen studied him for some time but then she sighed, which made Kanda look up.

"Well. I have no problem with assuming different identities… I've done it countless times", she said and sat down in the armchair next to the bed. "Tell him that you have been looking for me because you have heard that there is someone who might be able to lift your Charm"

"But then it will be know that you are a witch", Kanda protested and shook his head.

"One way or another, they will find out anyway. Tell them that I have been taught by Marian Cross, or have you not told the people at the order that you've met him?"

"I have told Tiedoll… Because Cross has sent him to the East so that he would pick me up…", Kanda answered, not really happy with what she was suggesting, "you shouldn't reveal so much about you. That's risky". Ellen just laughed lightly and shook her head.

"Don't worry about that Yu Kanda. I was prepared to prove myself sooner or later. I have planned that I will have to reveal my magic abilities", she replied and Kanda frowned.

"But it's not true that Cross told me about you… What if he suddenly decided to show up?", he asked and Ellen smiled at him amusedly.

"He might not have told you, but he will play along should he decide to return to the order. And we both know that he won't do so willingly", she said and Kanda had to agree to that.

"Okay… We'll stick to your story...", Kanda said with a sigh and got up from the bed. "I should go meet him… Maybe you should come along…". Ellen nodded and rose out of her chair. They left the room and the Noah followed Kanda down a corridor. He stopped in front of a door at the other end of the hall and knocked.

"It is open", came the well-known voice of the General and Kanda sighed. Then he put his hand on the knob, turned it and opened the door.

"General Tiedoll", Kanda announced his entrance and looked inside. The whole room was crowded with canvases, paintings, papers, colours and other stuff he needed to draw.

"My dear Yu!", the man exclaimed and turned around in his seat, facing the door, "long time no see, my cute child!". Kanda tried to control his temper – as much as he looked up to the older General, he couldn't stand his strange habit of treating him like a small child. "Come in! We need to talk!", he said with a bright smile and as Kanda stepped away from the door, the General became aware of the young woman standing behind Kanda. "You must be Ellen Walker!", he exclaimed and got up from his seat, walking over to the two.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, General Froi Tiedoll", Ellen said and shook the man's hand. Tiedoll smiled at her then he looked at Kanda, his eyes tearing up.

"Che", Kanda spat when the General began to sob and exclaimed how utterly happy he was that Kanda finally found himself an apprentice.

"I'm so proud of you! You finally take responsibility for another person!". Kanda just rolled his eyes.

"What did you want to talk to me about?", he hissed and Tiedoll calmed down.

"Oh, I just had heard that you found the person, you were so feverishly looking for. But I didn't expect her to be this young and beautiful", he said, smiling at Ellen. The Noah returned the smile, "how is she connected to your curse?"

"It is a Charm, not a curse", Kanda managed to say just in case that Ellen was offended, but she just seemed to be amused, while Tiedoll was a bit surprised, "She could be able to undo the charm…"

"You are?", the older General asked, looking at Ellen, "you must be a sorceress then!".

"She is, but please keep quiet about it, I don't need the whole Order to know. She's still inexperienced as an exorcist. We don't need the Vatican trying to get hold of her"

"Oh, don't worry about that", the brown-haired man spoke up, "the meeting with the Vatican has been postponed… They won't come here for the next month, I'm sure of it".

"General, that's not what I meant", Kanda started and Tiedoll smiled at him.

"I know. It's fine. I won't say anything. Her ability to use magic has nothing to do with her work as en exorcist. Cross is the same; he's a powerful Magician but seemingly – pardon me – useless as an Exorcist. Well, I'm sure it would be more effective if he decided to return for once…".

"General Cross taught her…", Kanda said and Tiedoll raised his eyebrows, "she might be pretty powerful as well… But I agree that magic is useless if you want to kill Akuma…"

"My… So you were Cross' pupil before Yu found you?", Tiedoll asked and Ellen nodded, "does Komui know?"

"No…", Kanda replied, "we'll tell him eventually… As it is, Komui doesn't want to send us on missions anyway…"

"Aaah… I've heard about the prophecy… You two are pretty special, aren't you?", Tiedoll asked, but didn't actually want to receive an answer, because he put his hands on Ellen's shoulders. "Dear child. I hope you can cope with Yu's bad temper", he said and Kanda groaned, "but that's what makes him so cute, don't you think?". Ellen laughed, which just further annoyed the black-haired General, "I hope he's doing a good job".

"He's mostly an agreeable person", Ellen replied, "we get along pretty well". Tiedoll smiled as he heard that.

"How delightful to hear you say that! Have you heard Yu? Such a beautiful woman thinks you are an agreeable person! Aren't you happy?", he wondered which just made Kanda roll his eyes.

"Why do you care?"

"Because I want you to marry eventually! It's never too early to start looking for a bride!", Tiedoll turned to Ellen, who looked mildly surprised, "maybe you should think about it. He's a good child. Very loyal and protective, I am sure he would make a good husband". Ellen managed to smile at that and nodded. Kanda had had enough and pulled the Noah out of Tiedoll's grasp.

"Shut up you old fool!", he spat and pushed Ellen to the door, "when you have nothing else to say, then we're leaving".

"Such temperament…", Tiedoll said and laughed, "by the way, I've met your sister!" Kanda stopped and turned around. "I was pretty shocked at first! Only when Linali told me that you had in fact not turned into a woman, but that this young lady was really your sister, did I realize that she was just joking!". Kanda briefly wondered what kind of horrendous story his silly sister had come up with, but then he just snorted and left the room. Ellen bid the General farewell and then she left to follow Kanda back into their own room.

"Stupid old idiot", Kanda muttered, not really convinced that it had been a good idea to tell him, especially the things about Cross, "Now we have to tell Komui…", the black haired man said, sitting in an armchair next to a table, "how well do you know General Cross?". Ellen smiled at him and sat down opposite him.

"Well enough. We first met when he was still younger, he didn't know that I was a Noah at the beginning… Then, about 25 years ago, he came looking for me"

"When your husband died…", Kanda stated and Ellen nodded, "is it connected in any sense?". The Noah laughed slightly and shook her head.

"No… He taught me about the handling of the Innocence, in return I taught him very complex magic…". Kanda looked at her for some time and then he snorted.

"Heh. Everything you do demands a price, right?", he asked and Ellen smiled at him.

"That's how the world works, Yu Kanda… That's how it works…"

To be continued

_Notes:_

_Again, an abrupt ending? It felt best to end here. After a lot of talking we now need action (even if I focus more on plot development than on action), so expect a mission coming soon! :3 _


	11. Chapter 11

Everyone busy watching EM? **lol **I'm not that's why you get another chapter, which is about 1000 words longer than the last. :3

Well, no promised action yet, just more explaining and musing and what not… **scratches head **And more Rabi-Kanda friendship **lol** I don't like the pairing, but I like friendship (same with Allen-Linali). But that's beside the point X3

Okay, just a little rant now: Reviews have gone down. I wonder why? Is the story getting boring? Not enough plot or action? Not enough romance (but the story's main theme is not really romance…)? My lack of responses to reviews lately? Decline in writing quality? **Snif**

Well… It won't keep me from writing…

**Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

**Etc:** Something I cleary have to point out, because I've been asked various times: This story is not YET **Yullen!** Knowing me, it will move there, but really, I have to take it slowly. As it is, Ellen is still emotionally attached to both Mana and Tyki. And Kanda still regards her as the one responsible for all the bad things he had to go through. Not the best soil for love to bloom... But don't give up yet! :3

* * *

As it seems, Komui really intended to keep Kanda confined to the Black Order. He had protested of course, but to no avail.

"You know how important you are", Komui reminded him with a serious face and Kanda groaned, getting up from the couch in front of Komui's desk, "we can only send you on missions which don't require a lot of travelling… But there is not much going on in Britain", he continued explaining. "I'm really sorry Kanda, I know that this was not how you expected things to go…". Kanda stopped and turned around, Komui's apology keeping him from marching out of the room.

"Che. Of course it's not!", he spat and sat back down on the couch, earning himself a smile from the supervisor. "First I'm made General and go from mission to mission and now I am stuck here!"

"At least you have time enough to spend with your sister… And Ellen", he said, which made Kanda narrow his eyes in annoyance.

"Which reminds me; why didn't she get her own room?", Kanda asked and Komui raised his eyebrow.

"Who?", he asked and saw Kanda's glare, "Ellen you mean? But I thought that you were… Well…", the man lowered his head and pushed his glasses back up his nose.

"You and your assumptions! We are not whatever you made us out to be!", the General hissed, which just made Komui shake his head.

"Why are you getting so worked up over it! I know that Ellen is important to you and that you two must be close!", the supervisor protested, unsure if he should be amused by Kanda's face.

"To a certain extend we are close, but there are no romantic feelings involved!", the General explained. He would have liked to add that she had been married before, but that would have only raised suspicion and even Kanda didn't really know how this fact could have been relevant to his point.

"Do you want me to arrange a new room for her then?", Komui asked and Kanda reluctantly shook his head, which just made Komui smile. The good thing about sharing a room with the Noah was that he could keep an eye on her. "Fine. I'll tell you as soon as anything comes up", the supervisor said and it was the cue Kanda was waiting for. He rose again and nodded, then he turned around and left the science division. He could have told Komui about Ellen's magic abilities then, but he really was not keen on doing that. He still thought that it had been a bad idea to tell Tiedoll about her connection to Cross, he didn't know what consequences it could have… But the fact that he had to stay in the order for God knows how long unnerved him even more. Accordingly, he was rather irritable when he walked into the dining hall, where he had left Ellen with Miranda, an Exorcist who he had only met recently. Lately there were a lot of exorcist he didn't know, because their number had increased while he had been gone and he really didn't bother to meet every single one of them. As Ellen didn't often walk around without Kanda at her side, she didn't encounter many Exorcists either, but Linali must have introduced her to at least some of them, especially the few female ones it seemed.

"Oi, come!", he hissed and Ellen and Miranda looked up at him.

"Don't you want to sit down for some time? Miranda has just started telling me about her latest mission", the Noah said and Miranda frantically raised her hands.

"Oh, no! Don't worry about me! It was not important! I can tell you later!", she hastily mumbled, to which Kanda just rolled his eyes. His patience was already strained, but Ellen just extended her hand and put it on Miranda's arm.

"Do not worry, Miranda Lotto…", she said reassuringly and smiled gently, which made Miranda calm down a bit. Ellen turned to look at Kanda and continued smiling. "Please, Yu Kanda, feel free to take a seat". The man suppressed a growl and sat down next to the Noah. Miranda looked at him uncertainly. "You were talking about the hat shop", Ellen continued speaking and the brown-haired woman nodded.

"I had not expected that the Innocence could take possession of a hat! But I should have known, because my Innocence had been in a clock, you see… The hat maker wouldn't believe me when I told him that we needed the hat because of the Innocence. He wanted us to buy it of course, but it was extremely expensive… I wanted to reason with him, but he wouldn't give in. I was pretty devastated and left the shop, feeling that I had failed as an exorcist", she explained laughing lightly.

"Were you alone?", Ellen wanted to know and Miranda shook her head.

"Nathaniel was with me and I contacted him, but I just knew that he would storm into the shop and steal the hat! I was pretty torn at that point". While Kanda hadn't listened, the name Nathaniel caught his attention.

"Nathaniel Bach?", he asked and Miranda flinched, clearly not having expected to be addressed by Kanda.

"Uh… Uhm yes, him. Do you know him, General?", she wondered and Kanda frowned.

"He was the first compatible I found", he said and snorted, "I'm surprised that he's still alive, that's all".

"We haven't had any casualties for quite some time…", Miranda told him and Kanda looked at Ellen, who just smiled.

"That's good to hear…", she said but Kanda just snorted and waved his hand, so Miranda would continue with her report.

"Uh… As I was saying… I was worried. But then Akuma attacked! I protected the town and Nathaniel killed the Akuma. The owner of the shop believed us then and we were able to get the Innocence".

"That's good to hear. I guess it must be difficult obtaining Innocence which already is in the hands of humans… They wouldn't want to part with such unusual items". Miranda nodded hesitantly.

„It can be difficult... I just don't dare to steal it… How… How do you usually manage to obtain Innocence, General?", Miranda dared to ask and Kanda raised his eyebrow. He hadn't expected the shy woman to be bold enough to ask him questions, but he didn't really mind. He was a General after all and as such he had a responsibility towards the other exorcists.

"If people don't react to the fact that we are exorcists of the Vatican, then we always have trouble with them. Sometimes explaining the situation is enough, but sometimes there is no point in arguing. Then you don't have many options; you bribe them with money, you steal the Innocence, threaten the people to hand it over or you wait for the Akuma to come and prove your point. I resort to whatever serves the situation best", Kanda said and Miranda nodded slowly, "in the end you don't have to worry about your or the order's reputation; it's all about completing the mission".

"Yes… Yes, General", Miranda said and Kanda turned to Ellen.

"If you're done chatting, come with me", he said and the Noah smiled.

"As you wish", she looked at Miranda who smiled as well, "we will surely see each other again, Miranda Lotto!", she continued and got up, following Kanda out of the hall.

"Komui doesn't intend to send us on missions", Kanda said as they were walking up the stairs to their room.

"I figured as much… He did tell us that we have to stay close, they cannot risk to lose us", Ellen replied and they arrived at the door to their room. Kanda opened the door and went inside, Ellen following. Kanda closed the door after her and went to sit in an armchair. "You look a bit agitated", Ellen commented and Kanda snorted. The woman smiled and nodded her head towards the white door which led to the Piano room. "Come". Kanda wasn't really in the mood to argue, so he got up again, followed her inside and sat on the white sofa, while Ellen positioned herself in front of the piano. "You haven't told Komui Li about Marian Cross yet?", she wondered and Kanda shook his head. Ellen started pressing the keys and a beautiful, calm melody resounded in the room. Kanda couldn't deny that her songs either left him paralyzes or managed to calm him down. It probably was what he needed right now. "But that is not what keeps your mind occupied"

"… No", Kanda answered and looked up at the ceiling, "it's the fact that I've heard about Nathaniel".

„How come? You should be glad that he is alive", Ellen said and Kanda snorted.

"I thought that I could just drop them off and be done with it. I forgot about them and now I hear that they're still alive"

"You sound disappointed", the Noah commented and Kanda groaned.

"If they aren't dead yet it means that they are going to die! I just can't believe that they would survive all this"

"Yu Kanda, we are talking about Innocence. You know how powerful it is", Ellen said, still playing, but she looked over the top of the piano. "Do you feel guilty that you did not accept them as apprentices? Do you think that if you trained them, maybe they would live?"

"Like hell they would!", Kanda barked and shook his head, „I just don't want to see them die. It was me after all who found them", he stopped and sighed, "and doomed them".

"You were just doing your job…", Ellen answered silently and Kanda raised his head to look at her.

"Yeah. You would understand, wouldn't you. You sacrifice people all the time just to get your work done", he said with a cold voice, but it didn't really impress Ellen.

"I understand what you try to say… But you must see that having the responsibility to recruit soldiers out of innocent people is hard but necessary to win the war for your side… If they are not dead yet then maybe they are strong", Ellen said and studied Kanda, "what if they can make a difference? What if it was the right thing to do?"

"Separating them from their families was certainly not the right thing to do!", Kanda snorted.

"Yu Kanda… In this war, sacrifices have to be made. You know that and I know that…", Ellen sighed and shook her head, "and the Earl of Millennium knows as well…". Kanda just looked at her for a long time and she finished playing the song.

"You never talk about the sacrifices you had to make…", Kanda spoke up and looked at the Noah, "what about them? Even if this now might sound harsh, but what sacrifices can a Noah possibly make?". Ellen certainly didn't like what he was asking, because she frowned at him before she put her smile back on.

"You forget that we are humans", she said and Kanda snorted.

"But not as we are. I know that, the girl Noah once told me", he said and Ellen raised her eyebrows.

"Girl Noah? You mean Rhode Camelot?", she asked and Kanda nodded, „What she says is not representative. She hates humans for their fragility…", she explained and sighed, "but you must know that we have two sides – white and black… The white part of us leads a human's life".

"Which means that you had to sacrifice things that were connected to your human life in order to manipulate me?", Kanda asked and Ellen smiled.

"Correct", she said but didn't look like she was willing to say more about it. Kanda noticed how she lowered her head and he felt almost sorry for her even though he didn't know what troubled her. He did not know what she could have sacrificed in her "human" life so that she could work her magic. He studied her; her white hair, her cursed eye.

"What has she told me? She received the curse by an Akuma? Why would an Akuma, who obeys the Noah clan, turn against a Noah? Or has it happened willingly?", Kanda asked himself, "no… That can't be. The abilities of her eye are most likely tormenting her as much as they did torment me back then…". Kanda put his elbows on his knees, hands linked in front of his chest as he studied her intently, thinking about clues. "Disregarding the fact that the witch is a Noah, then she must have brought back a soul who then cursed her. But she IS a Noah and the Earl is the one bringing the souls back! Unless"

"Oi", he called and Ellen looked up, "just a random question that has been bugging me for a while; is the Earl the only one who can bring back the souls of the dead and bind them to Akuma?". Ellen was visibly surprised to hear this question asked and after a while she nodded.

"The reviving of a dead person's body is something that people with strong magical power and enough knowledge can achieve… But the calling back of a soul is far more difficult. I have yet to meet someone beside the Earl who can do it", she answered him and Kanda nodded, immediately lost in his thoughts again.

"I don't think that a random Akuma would hurt a Noah, I've seen that they obey them… So the Earl must have brought someone back to life as the witch called out to this person. Was that before she became a Noah? Or was is more recent…? Who could she possibly want to bring back to life?". Ellen was looking at him when Kanda next raised his head to ask another question, as if she knew that he was trying to figure something out.

"Just one more question", Kanda said and Ellen sighed, but nodded. Kanda looked into her calm, grey eyes. "Your husband. Was he a human or a Noah?". Ellen looked at him, but she seemed to be troubled, struggling to keep an indifferent face.

"This husband of hers… He must have meant a lot to her", Kanda concluded from the look in her eyes.

"I do not know what you are trying to figure out, Yu Kanda…", Ellen started, "but I do not think this is relevant information to you".

"Maybe not", Kanda answered and looked up at Ellen, "but I'm trying to understand what you sacrificed. This concerns me as well. As you said; you sacrificed a lot to be able to save me – doesn't that mean that I am partly responsible for your sacrifice?". Ellen frowned, her white eyebrows lowered.

"This does not make a difference at all", he said, but Kanda interrupted her:

"Then just answer the question". It was quiet for some moments between them , but then Kanda could hear the faint sound of the piano: not tunes, but just noise as if the keys were pressed, but not hard enough to actually make a sound. He got up and walked over to the Noah. She stared at the score on the piano, her hands trembling on the keys. He hadn't expected her to be this affected, but he had seen previously that Ellen, however calm she was about certain topics, was very easily troubled by others. Kanda put his hand on her shoulder, which made her look up.

"If you can't say it, then you don't have to", he said when she looked up at him.

"Both", she answered him after she had calmed down, "he was both…"

"I see…", Kanda replied quietly and let go of her.

"Seeing as how much you seem to be affected by the topic, I don't think that you could be the cause for his death…"

"No…", Ellen whispered, looking at her hands on the keys.

"Which means that he was not the sacrifice you had to make…", he concluded and Ellen shook her head. Kanda studied her and then he sighed, "We'll stop this discussion here. Thank you for the information", he said and turned around to leave the room.

"Yu Kanda?", Ellen called and he looked over his shoulder. She looked calm when she met his gaze, watching him as he raised an eyebrow, "the guilt of my sacrifice is not yours to carry. I made sacrifices so I could keep the legacy of Mana Walker alive. If you and I continue living, then his dream will go on paving the path for humanity's survival". Kanda studied her, trying to make sense of her words. After some time he nodded and left the room to sort out his thoughts.

Kanda let himself drop on the bed, frowning as he thought about the information he had received.

"Mana Walker was a Noah. He died 25 years ago. I don't doubt that it was him Ellen tried to resurrect – she hasn't mentioned another important person yet, except this enigmatic Noah lover… How can a Noah die? We managed to take Noahs down, but only through Innocence. 25 years ago the Noahs didn't fight against the exorcists yet – At least I have not heard of someone killing a Noah. And it certainly was not the witch… What other way is there to kill a Noah…?", Kanda wondered, rubbing his forehead, "and more importantly; _why_ did he have to die?". Kanda looked at the floor, still thinking about it, but then he suddenly sprang to his feet and hurried out of the room. "It must be _him_!", he concluded, "I need to talk to Rabi!".

--

As Rabi was not to be found in his room, Kanda went back into the young Bookman's study.

"Oh! Yu!", the red-head said with a smile, looking up from a scroll, „what brings you here?", he asked. Kanda took a seat on the sofa, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I got bored. Any clues about the Noah yet?", he asked and Rabi looked at him in surprise.

"Uhm. Well yes, I'm working on it right now", he said and pointed at a stack of papers next to him, "I was able to produce a profile of the Noah Clan with the information I've found. But I don't really know much about the 14th yet…"

"No matter. Do you know if he just disappeared or if he died? And if yes, when?", Kanda wanted to know and Rabi turned to him.

"I do know that, yes. In fact, there exists a will of the 14th", he said and Kanda raised his eyebrows.

"His will?", he wondered and Rabi nodded.

"Exactly, but I'd have to go to the Vatican to find out about it… I don't know what's written in there, but I've read that he passed on his powers to another person. This person is called _Musician_…"

"What? As in… Piano player for example?", Kanda asked and Rabi laughed, but nodded.

"For example a piano player! Exactly. But that's all I know about the content of the will. But I do know about his death, though". Kanda frowned, if he now said –

"It was 25 years ago. He died at the hands of the Earl", Rabi explained and Kanda let his head drop, "Yu? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just have a headache", he lied and looked back up. That was clear now… Mana Walker had been the 14th, the Noah that betrayed the Clan, the Noah that had been disposed of by the Earl. This must have been the Earl's betrayal Ellen had talked about, this must be the reason why she turned to the exorcists' side. He understood now, but that didn't make it any easier…

"As he died 25 years ago, there's no way that he was the one giving you the curse", Rabi continued and Kanda nodded, "which means that we most likely have an alley – or something of that sort – in the ranks of the Noah! I'm pretty excited!", he exclaimed. Kanda just nodded.

„So this Noah was connected to the 14th in some way or another. Do you have any clue on who she might be?". Rabi nodded and Kanda knew that from now on he had to pay careful attention to what he said in Rabi's presence. The young Bookman didn't have to know yet that _Ellen_ was this Noah. If this information leaked… Kanda didn't even want to think about the consequences. But Rabi seemed rather enthusiastic about that Noah who might be on their side.

"Well… The person who gave you the curse was a woman and on top of that a powerful magician, if we can believe Xavier and his friend… Most Noah have at least one ability which might seem magical, but no one is said to have as much magical powers as the _Noah of Destiny_", he announced and Kanda nodded. Trust the red-haired Bookman to get it right. "We have not encountered her yet, in fact there are still a few Noah we haven't seen yet. According to the sources the Noah of Destiny is a very powerful being, each new generation she gets stronger, as if she'd be evolving the nearer we get to the next three days of darkness…", Rabi mused, but then he shook his head and continued, "but next to her magic she is actually pretty weak. She is not a fighter, relying solely on her power to manipulate everything and everyone around her. The Earl makes use of these abilities to move around in public and to gather information, as well as setting things into motion. But even though we could easily overpower her in a match of physical strength, she is considered one of the most horrifying Noah. She is a being that is detached from the actual happenings in the world, not caring about humans or even her own clan. It seems as if she does what her name suggests; she waves destiny, according to the Earl's great scenario…". Kanda carefully listened to everything Rabi had to say, recognizing general traits in Ellen, especially the "not caring about anything" part, even though he now knew better than to assume that she really was that uncaring. "Well. About this generation's Noah of Destiny…", Rabi continued, pulling out a letter under a huge leather-bound book. Kanda was immediately alert. "There has to be a reason why she gave you the curse. It certainly enabled you to keep on living, maybe you'll even defeat the Earl for all we know", Kanda frowned but nodded, "I don't really know why she did it but I have a letter here that gramps received a long time ago".

"A letter to Bookman? Are you sure that you want to tell me? I can imagine that this is restricted knowledge", Kanda said as he saw the look in Rabi's eye. But the red-head grinned and nodded.

"The knowledge of the Bookmen can only be reported through a Bookman. And I _am_ a Bookman, right? I can choose to tell you anything I want to… We're friends, Yu". Kanda looked at him, but then he nodded gratefully.

"Yes. I appreciate that friendship", he said and now it was up to Rabi to look surprised, but he soon got over it and grinned happily.

"Aww! Do you want a hug?", he asked and just received a dangerous glare, which made Rabi raise both of his hands, still chuckling to himself, „okay, fine. I won't do such _evil_ things".

"Just get to the point, you idiot", Kanda snapped and Rabi nodded eagerly.

"There's no name on the letter, but the writing was instantly familiar. It's the same hand-writing as in the letters of Xavier's friend!", he exclaimed and Kanda nodded quietly, "this person was not only knowledgeable in the art of magic, but also had a connection to the Noah of Destiny! I wonder who it was!", Rabi said.

"Well, if he handed the letter to Bookman, couldn't it be someone he, or even you, knew?", Kanda suggested and Rabi nodded.

"I already thought about it… But there are so many people gramps knew… And the letter is about 25 years old, which means that I probably won't know this person, even though he's been around surely until 10 years ago, when he corresponded with General Xavier… I might have met him… But his identity is beside the point now", Rabi said, calling Kanda back from his own musings on who he could be. He actually had an idea who it might be, but he first had to hear Rabi out. "I'll just hand you the letter, so you can read it yourself. I guess that's the easiest way", the young Bookman said and held the letter out to Kanda. The swordsman took it wordlessly and examined it. It was a brown, worn paper and the words were written in faded black ink, but it was still fairly easy to read.

"_Dear Bookman_

_As I have corresponded with you earlier I have now met the Noah of Destiny another time. Our earlier meetings have given me insight on how she worked and performed magic. I must say that she is simply incredible – she can manipulate the elements, weather, nature, objects, all senses and humans. Not to mention even time and death to a certain extend. She carries the memory of destiny after all. _

_The only reason why she is even willing to talk to me and confide secrets in me is because she holds the opinion that victory should be graspable for both sides. "Because this is how fate works", she claims. There are other reasons for this, I know it – I've seen it. But it's not wise to relate this knowledge in writing. She also recently acquired the powers of the late 14__th__. She is now the Musician of the Ark – we need to talk about that in more detail once we meet, I am sure that you are very interested in the Ark after all._

_I have asked her about the possibilities of joining our side, turning her back on the Earl like the 14__th__ did. She refused. But she was willing to teach me very strong magic and assured me that the 14__th__'s cause was not entirely lost. I did not know what she meant by that, but it leaves me hoping that she has not given up on humanity just yet. Because if she does, I see the second coming of the Three Days of Darkness upon us._

_Sincerely_

_X"_

"So what do you think about it?", Rabi asked, but didn't even wait for an answer before continuing, "Obviously, Destiny has her reasons to help us… Even though the guy – Mister X - did not tell us which, but it seemed that he was pretty confident in these reasons…"

"But she refused to join us… she's not like the 14th", Kanda reminded him, to which Rabi just shrugged.

"She might not be the 14th, but she seems to continue the 14th's cause some way or another… Maybe she already planned to give humanity a chance at survival back then. And we know now that she gave you a powerful magic spell, which renders you nearly immortal… You surely must be connected to the continuation of this "cause". And my intuition tells me that the cause of the 14th was something benefiting us humans", Rabi explained and Kanda just nodded. He remembered Ellen's words all too clearly; _If you and I continue living, then his dream will go on paving the path for humanity's survival_.

"The witch did not turn her back on humanity. But something must have happened to cause her to reconsider her refusal to join the side of this guy…", Kanda pondered, "but what?".

"What do you think about this _Ark_?", Rabi suddenly asked and Kanda raised his eyebrows, "it seems that when the 14th died, he transferred his powers to Destiny… But I don't really know what the _Ark_ is supposed to signify. Maybe it was just a code X used, but gramps knew what he meant". Kanda hesitated, but he decided that he could shed some light onto it, just enough that Rabi didn't suspect anything.

"Well… Noah's Ark does ring a bell, right?", he said and Rabi nodded, Kanda knew that he had thought of that as well, "do you remember the time when we were in Edo with General Tiedoll?". Rabi let out an amused snort.

"As if I could forget! That was an epic battle back then!", he said and grinned, "I'm still surprised that we all got out alive. Count on our dear Yu to save our asses by breaking critical point!", he said and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"We saw that strange cube in the sky, right? Don't you remember Bookman muttering something about _Noah's Ark_?". Rabi widened his eyes as it dimmed on him and he nodded.

"I was a bit preoccupied by Rhode sucking us into that fancy door, but I heard it!", he exclaimed.

"As far as I know it's some sort of transport vessel. Rhode mentioned something about it as well. If I'm not mistaken we have been in a part of the Ark while fighting the Noahs – because they have full control of the Ark, which surely did benefit them in their battles against us", Kanda explained and Rabi nodded thoughtfully.

"But if we really were in the Ark… Then why were we able to leave so easily when you broke critical point?", he asked and Kanda thought about that as well… But now it became clear to him.

"Because of the Musician…", he said and Rabi looked as if he came to exactly the same conclusion.

"Destiny saved you once, of course she would try to save you again!", he concluded and Kanda just looked down at the floor, lost in thoughts. Again. She saved him again… He didn't really know if he should feel grateful or annoyed, but somehow he tended to the latter.

"Maybe we should find her and try to make her join us", Rabi suggested, which had Kanda snort, "Yeah, I know that it's risky! If the superiors found out about it… Well, it wouldn't be pretty… But they do have white sides, you know? She could conceal her real identity".

"And what if the Earl found out?", Kanda asked, just to discourage Rabi, because he didn't want him trying to set out on a mission, finding a person which he already brought to their side. Rabi frowned, laughing uneasily.

"Well. That would be a problem. He might attack us…", he replied and Kanda nodded, "I said that it's risky… But it's worth thinking about it, don't you think?"

"And if you found her… Consider this, Rabi… Even though she might help us, she is still a Noah – a murderer. Their clan have killed many exorcists and have caused much suffering… Do you really think anyone could accept her?", he asked and Rabi stayed silent, thinking about it.

"But Yu… Even if she was a murderer…She has the ability to help us win this war… And that is what we need… We need Destiny on our side". Kanda just looked at him, but then he got up. "Think about it"

"I will…", Kanda said and left the study.

_To be continued…_

**Notes:**

Wah! So much information! I always have to pay attention to not mix up the things a) Ellen knows, b) Kanda knows c) the others know and d) I know!

So if you see things that don't make sense, point them out! :3

I decided that it might be the time to reveal a bit about what the exorcists were up to before Ellen joined them…

And I still wonder about OCs… I guess having Hanako is enough, there's no need to show the other unknown exorcists. Unless you want to see Kanda interact with the exorcists he found… X3

It's somehow the same with the Noahs… Some are dead, maybe even one's we didn't know of… Maybe I'll be able to write the whole story without relying on any more OCs! **Lol** Wishful thinking…

I still hope for a mission (I somehow neglected Linali, even though I adore her. Moh…). This said, until next time!


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author's Notes:**_

_I am sorry for the delay – there may be no University right now, but it still keeps me busy with papers and paper plans and all that funny stuff. Again, I apologize and please be patient with me :3_

_This chapter turned out quite… funny, on Kanda's expenses of course. Poor him. Next chapter will be __**gasp**__ a mission! XD_

_Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**_

* * *

_**Chapter 12**_

Kanda was a little bit unsure of what to do next. He just forced Ellen to speak about her husband, he couldn't possibly go back to ask for more information. And Rabi couldn't really tell him more than he already revealed just before. He decided to go to the writing rooms, to take down a few notes and sort out his thoughts.

"Oh! Yu, going to study?". Kanda turned around and saw Tiedoll walking up to him, "I'll accompany you, I just got this fabulous book on old Norse art". Kanda groaned, but didn't even try to complain. Together they walked into one of the many writing rooms and Tiedoll sat down at the desk opposite Kanda, opening his huge book. They were alone in the quiet room and Kanda took a paper from the stack next to him, then he picked up one of the many pens. Only the turning of pages and the occasional scribbling of Tiedoll when he sketched something on a paper was to be heard. Kanda tried to ignore him as good as possible and started taking down notes.

"Out of all the dates I have in my mind, 25 years ago seems to be the most striking one", Kanda mused and made a note, "and 20 years ago I received the Lotus Charm…", another note on the page. "25 years ago Mana Walker died, and 25 years ago the power of the musician was transferred to the witch… I remember that she told me that she met Cross 25 years ago… He taught her and she taught him… This Mister X must be Marian Cross, there's no doubt…", Kanda concluded what he has already suspected for quite some time. "He taught her how to use Innocence and it was after the 14th's death. If I think about it… If the witch really turned her husband into an Akuma, then she should have been killed. However, before our first mission, she said that she hadn't used her Innocence for 25 years. What if she used it against Mana to kill the Akuma and safe her own life after he cursed her?". Somehow that thought made Kanda feel sick – it was such a weak human trait to wish the dead back to life. Those people who could not life without those they have lost, Kanda pitied them, but he was also disgusted at how weak they were and that they really entered into a contract with the Earl. "Tch. Who am I to judge them! I entered into a deal with a Noah!", Kanda thought and stared at his paper, "but why did she make that mistake? Why did she turn her husband into an Akuma?! She should have known better!".

"Yu? Are you alright? You look a bit pale", Tiedoll said and Kanda snapped out of his thoughts, looking up to meet Tiedoll's eyes. He just nodded and looked back down. "If it is about being locked in here…", the man started again, "Maybe I could convince Komui that you joined me on a mission… I know that you don't like to stay in one place for too long". Kanda raised his eyebrows.

"What? Go on a mission with you? I'm a General now, I don't think this makes much sense", he said with an unconvinced frown. However, the prospect of not being stuck in here with just his puzzling thoughts, sounded nice to him. Tiedoll laughed gently, scratching his head.

"Of course you are a General, but there are still things you could learn from me, right?", he asked and Kanda just wrinkled his nose, "My cute Yu, don't make that face!", he said while laughing.

"Do you have a mission planned?", Kanda asked, ignoring Tiedoll's comment.

"There is an ancient city I would like to visit and still many more Innocence pieces to find", the older man answered, putting his hand on his book, "I was planning to go to the North". Kanda eyed the book on art suspiciously.

"You just want to go there because you want to draw, don't you?", the Japanese man asked and the other General laughed again.

"Of course not! No, you get me wrong! My duty is to find new exorcists!", he said, "and then there's this fabulous old city…". Kanda groaned, massaging his forehead. He didn't mind going on a mission, but what to do about Ellen? He couldn't leave her here and it could be problematic when another exorcist was with them.

"What about my apprentice?", Kanda asked and Tiedoll blinked at him.

"I would be very happy to be accompanied by her! We need to do a bit of bonding and get to know each other better!", he replied and Kanda raised an eyebrow and before he really thought about it he asked:

"Why would you do that?". Tiedoll smiled warmly at him.

"Because she is on her best way to become your future wife, isn't she?", he replied and drew the heavy book away before Kanda could grab and throw it at his master. "You don't have to be so shy! She said that you're an agreeable person! I have never heard anybody say that to me before! I was so proud!"

"Master Tiedoll, you get on my nerves…", Kanda hissed and turned his attention back to his paper – there was no sense in trying to argue with him. He might as well give up and turn his attention back towards his notes. If the silly General was going to keep such a close eye on the witch, he might as well forget about going on a mission with Tiedoll. Kanda knew that she was careful to keep up her different identities, but Akuma would react accordingly if they were faced with a Noah. Level ones were no problem, but usually Generals didn't have to deal with these… And everything above level one could talk and would certainly start talking to the "Master Noah".

"And I doubt that I would be able to keep up appearances if I really have to travel with her. We have no nice mentor apprentice relationship! I'd rather deal with her here where we can withdraw and tackle our differences in the isolation of her piano room", Kanda concluded.

"What are you writing?", Tiedoll suddenly asked and Kanda saw him bend over the table, "25 years ago, 20 years ago, Akuma, Lotus Charm…?".

"Nothing of relevance, General Tiedoll", Kanda snorted and folded the paper up, "I was just thinking things through". He rose from the chair and Tiedoll observed him calmly.

"While you're thinking, please consider my offer as well. Then I can arrange things with Komui", he said while Kanda was walking away.

"Che. Fine. Good bye, General", Kanda mumbled, then he left and walked up the stairs to his own room.

"Yu!", a female voice called and Kanda turned around to find his sister walking up to him. She was smiling brightly and grabbed his hand. Kanda realized that they were on the floor the infirmary was in, "good that I found you, there is someone who wants to meet you", she said and started walking away, a firm grip on his arm.

"What the… Hanako, what are you doing?", he asked with a grim face once he realized that they were on their way to the infirmary, "I have no one I want to meet!". Hanako didn't seem to be listening to him, so Kanda just hissed in annoyance and let himself be dragged into the infirmary. The beds were almost all occupied by finders and other people.

"There are a lot of wounded people recently", Hanako said and led Kanda to a bed in the back, "this war must be pretty harsh". Kanda didn't really like being in the infirmary, but still nodded to the people who greeted him.

"Sarah? Look who I've found!", he said and Kanda wanted to leave at once. There was a young girl sitting on the bed, her head was wrapped and her left arm was in a sling, but she looked healthy. The brown haired girl looked up at them and smiled.

"General Kanda!", she said and put her book away. It took a while for Kanda to compose himself enough to talk.

"Hello Sarah", he started, "are you injured?"

"Just a bit!", the girl said and grinned, two of her teeth missing, "Master is taking good care of me!", she said. Kanda just frowned.

"Have you been on missions?", he wondered and was surprisingly relieved when he saw her shake her head.

"No. I am still training, also with my Innocence. General Klaud tells me that it is still too early for me"

"You've been assigned to Klaud Nine? That was a good choice then", Kanda said and the girl nodded eagerly.

"Her monkey is really cute! I had one as well back in India, I don't miss home as much now that she is with me", Sarah said, playing with her hair.

"That is good to hear, right Yu?", Hanako asked, as Kanda didn't answer. He looked at her and saw her smile, before she turned back to Sarah, "I am sure that you will make lots of friends and feel at home here very soon! And when my brother and the other brave exorcists have won you will be able to go back home. Isn't that nice?". The girl looked back up again, smiling widely.

"Yes!", she affirmed and laughed with Hanako. Kanda just looked at them, then he lifted his hand to pat Sarah's head. She looked up at him with a smile.

"I need to go back to my room", he said and Sarah nodded, "take care of yourself".

"You too, General Kanda!". Kanda waved and left the infirmary. Kanda didn't really think about anything while he made his way upwards to the floor of the generals. He opened the door to his room and found Ellen sitting in an armchair next to the windows, looking out the window at the setting sun.

"I don't even have to look at you to know that you're tense", Ellen said and then she turned her head while Kanda just walked to his wardrobe, pulling out clothes to wear to dinner.

"I met Sarah"

"One of the compatibles you found I reckon?", the Noah asked, not moving from her position while Kanda changed.

"Yes", he said and pulled the new shirt over his head, "she is only training. I would have guessed that a girl her age would die very fast"

"I told you last time; the Innocence is very strong… And age doesn't matter", Ellen replied, "was it that bad meeting her? I had a feeling that you wouldn't like doing it"

"Right. As she's doing fine and is trained by an able General, there is nothing I have to worry about. She is not my responsibility anymore and neither are the others", Kanda said and looked at Ellen, "the only thing I need to worry about is you"

"Thank you for focussing on me alone", Ellen said with a sly smile and Kanda groaned.

"There were a lot of people in the infirmary, but like the female exorcist said; no causalities", he continued after a while, sitting on his bed. "Any idea why?"

"Exorcist don't die and you get suspicious?", Ellen asked with a smile, which just made Kanda glare at her, "Do you think I have my hands in it? I have to disappoint you; I do not"

"But there must be a shift of Akuma attacks. This curly-head Noah told you that they no longer target Generals but send Akuma everywhere in order to find the heart"

"Correct. Shouldn't that be explanation enough?", Ellen wondered, "I do not know what the other Noah are up to and it would probably be suspicious to ask every one of them"

"Why?", Kanda asked and Ellen smiled at him.

"Because I never cared what they did. Why should I start now? We all do what we must do individually. The only one who knows of all our missions is the Earl of Millennium", she replied and Kanda frowned.  
"But he still does not know about you being an exorcist? We know that he could suspect something… With the guards that are placed inside of the Ark and all that…".

"I guess he does not suspect that I really joined you, but I am sure he very well knows that he has done unforgivable things which might turn me against him. He knows me, but he does not know me well…", Ellen replied and got up from her chair, "having guards in the Ark will not have any effect on what I am doing… I am sure I told you before".

"Yes, you did… But the Ark… Just let me ask you one thing about it…", Kanda started and Ellen looked at him with a smile, "I've been in there before, haven't I?"

"Yes", the white haired Noah replied and Kanda frowned.

"If the girl Noah has the ability to create doors leading to the Ark, then she might as well suddenly barge in, right?", he asked and Ellen nodded calmly.

"She would be able to do that. She can travel through space and enable others to do so as well. But for now, Rhode Camelot has no reason to do such a thing. Every Noah can enter into the Ark, but they will not be able to go into the piano room. No Noah knows of its existence, not even the Earl of Millennium knows. As long as you stay in there when you board the Ark you will be safe…".

"Were you present when we were trapped in the Ark?", Kanda wondered and Ellen nodded, "what did the Noah plan anyway? Was it to be able to fight against us better?".

"I assume that this was their purpose"

"And you did stop them", Kanda concluded which had Ellen raise an eyebrow, "because as soon as I broke critical point we were released from the Ark and sent back to the other exorcists". The Noah looked at him, then she sighed, putting her fingers against her cheek thoughtfully.

"I wonder why you always come up with such things to ask me", Ellen said and Kanda just remained silent while she eyed him sceptically, "but fine. I didn't know what they were up to so I let them do as they pleased, watching them from my piano room. As I saw that you had a sudden increase in power, I decided to transfer you outside"

"Weren't the other Noah suspicious?", Kanda asked and Ellen shrugged, with a smile on her lips.

"It did not matter. You and your friends managed to take Noahs down. While Rhode Camelot didn't particularly mind the loss, I justified my actions with these unnecessary losses", she said and turned away from Kanda to look out of the windows, "because we Noah are the sacrificial lambs that will be offered to the Earl of Millennium's apocalyptic scenario", she continued and Kanda quietly looked at her back, not really sure what to make of these words. "We shouldn't carefully throw away lives any longer. That is what I told Rhode Camelot and she didn't question it…". Ellen turned back to Kanda and studied him, "but we both now why I saved you and your friends".

"Because you couldn't afford to lose me", the black haired man said with contempt in his voice, "because I will be the sacrifice you will offer to _your cause_". Ellen looked at him in silence, but then she started to laugh gently. "Oi! What's so funny?!", Kanda demanded and Ellen smiled at him.

"Why am I not surprised that you would think that", Ellen said and shook her head, "No, Yu Kanda. You should not consider yourself to be a sacrifice for my cause. It is true that we are mere tools for somebody else's scenario. For the Vatican you are a soldier who is supposed to live and die for the war. But for me you are the one I put my faith in for continuing what my husband could not. I transferred the burden he put on me to you when I was no longer able to continue the way I had planned. But this burden, Yu Kanda, that is the burden of being a human and the burden of being THE human that will be able to save the entire humanity from being thrown into darkness forever…". Ellen looked up at him with a gentle smile, folding her arms over her chest. "Do you really want to cast off this responsibility?". Kanda glared down at her, but then he turned around.

"Tch. I don't know what you expect me to say now! You still think you did me a favour for choosing me! And you think I will consider my burden – the burden you were not able to carry - to be something very noble! Really, I could laugh if it weren't such a disgusting thought".

"You can't chose your destiny, Yu Kanda", Ellen said and Kanda didn't even have to look at her to know that she was smiling, "that's what being a human is all about". Kanda was quiet for a while, then he turned around and faced her with a smirk.

"Oh, is it? We're on the same boat then, Noah of Destiny", he replied and Ellen seemed surprised by his words, but then she lowered her head and laughed.

"As long as there is a path to walk, no matter in which direction, I will take it. Because you can't stop, no matter what happens".

"Because our world depends on us", Kanda added and opened the door of their room.

"Yes… That it does", Ellen agreed and followed Kanda out of the room to have dinner.

"There is no stopping the hands of time", Ellen mused, looking at the back of the figure in front of her, "we are constantly moving forward. Now at the crossroads, I must choose the right path to take, as he does too". Ellen saw Kanda look back over his shoulder as if to make sure that she followed him and Ellen smiled, but lowered her head. "I chose 20 years ago. As long as I can still have faith in those that are doomed to drown in darkness, I will be able to walk the road Mana wanted me to take. But I must remember… We are at the crossroads… And Destiny has her own plans…"

--

Kanda and Ellen sat at a table in the back, away from most of the people.

"General Tiedoll suggested that I join him on a mission to the North", Kanda said, while eating his Soba.

"A mission to the North? Isn't that against Komui Li's wishes?", Ellen asked and swirled her little silver spoon in her tea cup.

"It is, actually. However, Tiedoll is a General and still stronger than I am. If there was the need to, he would be able to defend us", Kanda replied and Ellen looked up from her tea, raising an eyebrow.

"Defend _us_?", she asked and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Yes. He would want you to accompany us, so he can get to know you better", he replied and Ellen smiled.

"I see, how nice of him. But why would he want to do that?", she wondered but only had to look into Kanda's face to know the answer, "does he still hope that I will be your future wife?". Ellen had to laugh when Kanda just snorted in unmasked irritation.

"That idiot. He should know that this is ridiculous!", Kanda said and drank his tea. Ellen smiled at him.

"Yes, because I can only agree if you ask me to", she replied and Kanda stared at her, which resulted in half of the tea missing his mouth.

"Oh. Yu, you soiled yourself". Ellen laughed and looked up to see Rabi standing next to their table, a heavy book in his arms. "Yo, Ellen!". While Kanda put the cup down a bit too forcefully and started cleaning himself with a napkin, Ellen smiled at Rabi.

"Good evening, dear Rabi. Take a seat", she said and pointed at the unoccupied seat next to her.

"How nice of you, Ellen!", Rabi exclaimed and sat down, looking at Kanda, "right? Isn't she nice?".

"Shut up, imbecile!", Kanda growled dangerously, which didn't sound very convincing coming from behind a napkin. Rabi laughed and Kanda threw the napkin on the table, shooting both of them dangerous glares.

"What do you want?!", he spat, which had Rabi seek a bit of shelter by edging nearer to Ellen, who just smiled at him.

"Do not threaten your friends, Yu Kanda", Ellen said and Rabi had to laugh. Kanda chose to ignore them, still glaring at Rabi, because he still owed him a reply.

"I actually came here with information", he started and Kanda raised his eyebrows, "but now I want to hear you propose first"

"What? To you?", Kanda asked with a blank face, which had Rabi roaring with laughter and even Ellen had to laugh. "Tch! Shut up you idiots!"

"I am deeply sorry, Yu Kanda", Ellen said and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"I won't propose to anyone. Now get to the point!", he roared and Rabi forced himself to stop laughing.

"Okay, okay. Suit yourself, if you want to let the opportunity of the century pass, then that's your problem"

"One more word in this direction and I'll shove Mugen down your throat", Kanda hissed darkly and Rabi didn't doubt that he was being serious.

"Right. Well I decided that, considering the _things_ we spoke about before, we should team up and travel a bit", he suggested and Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"I told you I would think about! Don't go making the decisions all by yourself!", he shouted and Rabi just raised the book in front of his head as defence.

"I know that you now have Ellen with which you surely need to spend time, being her master and all that"

"You make it sound very wrong, I hope you know that", Kanda snorted and Ellen laughed, while Rabi just shrugged.

"Her _General_, if you like that better. But I just want to remind you that the Earl started moving and that you are just sitting around here, enjoying your – ah, I remember that I agreed not go say anything in this direction anymore", Rabi stopped himself thoughtfully, putting an arm around Ellen's shoulders. "Don't worry. He's just shy and doesn't like to make such important decisions".

"Thank you, dear Rabi, for your well-meant advice", Ellen said and laughed, while Kanda just glared at the red-head.

"Would you stop now?! There is nothing going on between her and me!", he shouted and Rabi just backed off a bit.

"It's okay! I'm just teasing you! You should calm down a bit, that's not healthy", the younger exorcist said. Kanda ignored him, because that was the wisest thing to do in this situation. "What was I saying? Ah, right! We should team up and travel around a bit, because you've got Innocence to find and by travelling we have the biggest chance of finding other _very interesting things_". Ellen didn't say anything and just listened to them in amusement, even though she didn't know what they were talking about.

"No"

"Why not?!", Rabi whined, "You know that it might be very beneficial to find _it_!". Kanda groaned, putting his hand to his forehead in annoyance.

"Listen, you idiot. I am not staying here because I am lazy, but because Komui prohibited me from going farther away than Britain", he said and Rabi raised his eyebrow in surprise.

"What? But why? Aren't you a General now?", he asked and Kanda shrugged.

"I am, but Komui has his reasons. It is an annoyance, but I can't go against orders", he said and looked at Ellen, who just smiled at him. Rabi looked crestfallen, but the black haired General ignored it. "Besides, General Tiedoll already asked me to go on a mission with him"

"He did? So you could technically leave the order in his company?", Rabi said, face brightening up immediately. Kanda sighed in annoyance, but then he nodded.

"If Komui allows it. I don't know much about Tiedoll's mission yet. He just suggested it"

"Well, Ellen and I could go on our own, if you're busy, but it would be easier with you by our side. Because you know how _it_ looks like", Rabi mused and Kanda shook his head. Why wouldn't that idiot stop?! He didn't need Ellen to know!

"If I am going, then she is coming with me", Kanda said and Rabi grinned.  
"Then I'll join you!"

"No"

"Oh, come on Yu! Aren't we friends?!", Rabi asked with a disappointed face, "You could take me with you! Ellen and I would then form Team Kanda! Wouldn't that be nice?"

"No thank you. You'd only annoy me. You can form a team with Linali, if you're so keen on it", the black haired man said and Rabi pouted.

"You're unfair. You just want Ellen to yourself! You know I won't steal her! I have other ambitions!", Rabi tried to reason, but failed miserably, as he only managed to get Kanda angry. Ellen deemed it wise to intervene.

"Listen, Yu Kanda. I am sure that no harm would be done if you accepted. You don't like being confined and it is likely that Komui would agree if we also had Rabi's strength and knowledge added", she said and smiled at him, while Rabi shot her a grateful grin.

"I don't like it…", Kanda said with a frown.

"I count that as a yes! I am going to see General Tiedoll about the mission!", Rabi said, jumping up before Kanda could say anything, "here, for you! Have a look at it!", he added, shoving the book, he had carried with himself, into Kanda's arms.

"Idiot! I did not agree!!", Kanda shouted after him, while Rabi hurried out of the hall. He cursed and turned back towards Ellen with an angry scowl. "You'll see where you've got yourself into!", he said and Ellen smiled.

"Why do you worry so much? It is just a mission", she said and Kanda glared at her.

"Just a mission. Tch, right!", he got up and walked away without a further word. Ellen took this as her cue to follow him.

--

Kanda slammed the door of his room shut and grabbed Ellen's hand, after tossing the book to the floor.

"Listen, witch. I don't know if you are aware of it, but a General takes on different missions! Up until now we were on our own and only faced level one Akuma. Do you have an idea what could happen if we have to fight higher levels, _with_ Tiedoll and Rabi?!", he asked and let go of her, when he saw that she no longer wore her mocking smile. "Do you really think you can manage to go on normal missions? You would have to fight like a real exorcist; no Noah powers, no space travelling. You would blow your cover!". Ellen sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I understand what you mean, but I am not that weak as an exorcist", she replied calmly and Kanda studied her sceptically.

"So you think you will manage?"

"Yes, Yu Kanda", she replied and the black haired man snorted again.

"Fine then. We will discuss this with General Tiedoll tomorrow and I will then decide what we do", he said, bending down to pick up the book. Ellen smiled at him and nodded, then she walked away to sit in her armchair next to the window, looking at the Lotus flower. Kanda was used to it, so he just ignored her and went to sit down at the table, book in front of him. He opened it and found a note, scribbled on a yellow paper. Kanda frowned, but took it away, finding that the book he had in front of him was a fairy tale book, surely not something of relevance for Kanda (and certainly not something he wanted to be seen reading!). He snorted but then turned his attention back to the note.

-

"_Dear Yu. _

_The book is merely a disguise, because I couldn't tell you in public, could I? I found some more information, which could turn out to be relevant for you. This is unofficial as of now, but I heard that the Vatican will be coming over to the Black Order very soon. All the Generals (well, maybe not Cross, because that guy is never around anyway) and the branch leaders will be present. The topic to be discussed will be Noah's Ark, something called "Akuma Plant" and the 14__th__. I already told you that they have found his will, I am sure that they will have relevant information for you – but I wonder why they chose to talk about it now. _

_Then I found more information about Noah's Ark. It's as you said; a vessel to travel through space. It is a device far over our present technological abilities, even though it was built such a long time ago! 25 years ago, when the 14__th__ died, the Ark was confined to the city of Tokyo, it could still be used, but no longer moved – until the power of the musician was transferred to the Noah of Destiny. She is now able to control it, even move it from place to place. I wonder why this happened though. As far as we know, the 14__th__ transferred his power to Destiny willingly, but why would he do that if it only benefited the Earl? I don't know the answer yet, but I think that there must be some feature of the Ark which could be used against the Earl. This is pure speculation, but we have already seen that this might have saved us back then… What I am trying to say is that this might also be another reason why we should find Destiny. If she is in control of the Ark, then we should get this useful tool and what lies hidden in it._

_That's all for now!_

_Rabi"_

-

Kanda closed the book wordlessly. The meeting of the Vatican. This was surely what the Earl had tried to postpone, because he didn't want the exorcists to know about the Ark, that Akuma plant and the 14th – or at least one of these things.

"The witch said that there were guards positioned in the Ark. What if this was not done to watch over her", Kanda mused quietly, only daring to steal a dubious glance at Ellen, who still continued to watch the Lotus with a peaceful expression, "but to guard something particular inside the Ark? It would at least make more sense. Anyone could enter the Ark, it is not specifically her privilege and not her special ability. Neither is she in there all the time… But what could that special thing be…?". Kanda looked back down at the note from Rabi. Noah's Ark, Akuma plant and the 14th. Akuma plant… If those three things were connected, then it must be that thing called Akuma plant, even though Kanda had no clue what it was about. But he would find out, at the meeting with the Vatican.

_**To be continued**_

_Note: _

_There was a mistake in a pervious chapter: When Timcampy was introduced, Ellen said that she met Cross for the first time 25 years ago. That is wrong. She met him earlier. I will correct it later one. I'm sure that there must be more logical mistakes like that. Please forgive me, I never planned for this fic to have so much plot or to be that long! X3_

_Another thing: o__kay, okay. Couldn't help myself. I planned to have Sarah in here, but later actually. I don't know why I put her in this chapter, maybe to get Kanda's mind away from Ellen for a while? __**lol**__. I don't think you mind (heard no opposition when I ranted about it)! :3_

_Reviews make me happy and maybe update faster? No, that's probably not true…X3 _


	13. Chapter 13

**_Author's Notes:_**

_Yeah, inspiration hasn't been kind to me… It took me really long to write this chapter even though I more or less knew what was going to happen._

_This chapter is even more discussion, more questions without answers but the mission with Tiedoll finally started. I hope you can enjoy it! :3_

_**Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**_

* * *

Tiedoll and Rabi were already waiting inside Komui's office when a grumpy looking Kanda and a smiling Ellen appeared as well. It was quite early in the morning, which Rabi couldn't help commenting on.

"It's even before breakfast!", he wailed. Tiedoll laughed and waved at Ellen.

"Come, dear child. Take a seat next to me", he suggested and Ellen did with a polite smile.

„Fine, you are all assembled", Komui spoke up. He looked rather tired but also alert – the way he always did when Linali was away on a mission Kanda thought to himself. "General Tiedoll already filled me in on the details; he wants you, Kanda and Ellen, to join his mission. Rabi", the supervisor said, pointing towards the grinning Bookman, "decided to join as well, Tiedoll approved". He turned his attention back to Ellen and Kanda and couldn't hide a frown, "you know that I am not eager to let you depart. You will leave for Scandinavia, that's far away"

"Yes, but I am a General and I have my responsibility towards the Black Order as well. I do not approve of being confined in here without anything to do", Kanda spoke up, "besides, we will be assisting General Tiedoll in his mission, I do not think that there will be too much danger". Komui frowned and sighed deeply.

"You know what is at stake", he said calmly and Rabi pushed himself off the wall to walk up to the sofa.

"_I_ don't know! Might you shed some light on it?", he asked and Komui looked over at Kanda.

"That is up to you to decide", he said and Kanda snorted.

"It's a prophecy", he started after a while, "I am surprised that your intelligence network hasn't caught on already". Rabi just showed him a goofy smile. Kanda sighed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, closing his eyes, "she and I are connected by a prophecy, which speaks of the outcome of the war". He opened his eyes and looked at Ellen, who just smiled at no one in particular. "Hebraska predicted that I will find her and our encounter will enable me to choose the course of fate"

"That… sounds mighty important", Rabi commented, clearly surprised, "but why should you stay in here then? You already met Ellen! There is no longer a way to prevent that, not that this would have been useful for us"

"There is a second part to the prophecy", Ellen spoke up because Kanda stubbornly refused to say anything. "It says that I am to be a great light in the darkness, but that my power can be used by both sides. I cannot choose to whom and how I am to be of service. However, Yu Kanda could determine my role in this war – very likely for _our_ side", she said and looked over at Kanda with a small, sly smile tucking at the corner of her lips. Kanda suppressed an angry snort.

"Of course! She and her ambiguity! I hate that!", he thought to himself, hoping that his icy glare showed her what he thought about her words. Kanda turned away from Ellen and looked up at Rabi, not really liking the interested but distant look in his eyes either.

"I didn't know that you were so closely connected", Tiedoll said and put his hand on Ellen's shoulder, "this must trouble you, I am happy that you still put up with Yu". Ellen smiled at him and nodded.

"Of course. Bonds of fate should not be severed", she answered and Kanda didn't even bother to hide his displeasure.

"Well. Now you know what I'm concerned about. If the Earl gets Ellen it might be over", Komui said and Tiedoll nodded.

"I understand, but there is no sense in running away from fate", Tiedoll said, "We cannot hide Ellen in this tower forever. The decision probably has to be made in war, in the face of a situation where we – or rather those children - are forced to decide". He scratched his head and sighed, "Now that I heard about it I would like to believe that it would be worse to keep her locked up. If the Earl knows about her and the prophecy"

"Why should he know about such a thing? There is no way he could have heard!", Komui interrupted, but the General just lifted his hand to silence his protests.

"We do not know how the Earl gathers information. Maybe he knows and maybe he doesn't. But knowledge isn't everything in this war – I wouldn't be surprised if the Earl suspects that there is a force in our possession", here he looked over at Ellen with an apologetic smile, which she just returned, "that could prove to be useful to him as well. I don't want to be pessimistic, but if he knows then we just provoke a direct attack to headquarters if Ellen stays here". Komui was silent for some time, but then he finally gave in with a nod.

"I see your point…", he sighed and looked over at Ellen and Kanda, "in the end you must make the decision. Kanda, Ellen. Do you want to join General Tiedoll and Rabi on their mission to Scandinavia?". Kanda saw how Ellen smiled, but that was not really any indication to whether she really wanted to go because she always wore that mask.

"Yes", he replied after a while and Komui nodded gravely.

"Then it is decided. You depart whenever General Tiedoll sees fit. Have a nice trip and come back home safely", he said, dismissing the four people with a wave of his hand. Rabi grinned and bent down to put his arm around Ellen's shoulder.

"This will be fun!", he said, "I'm looking forward to see you in action!". Ellen laughed and nodded.

"I hope I will live up to your expectations", she said and raised from the couch once Tiedoll did as well.

"Let's all meet at the waterway in two hours. Get some breakfast, brush your teeth and pack your suitcases", Tiedoll said once they were on their way back, "I will fill you in on the details of the mission once we're on our way".

"Very well General Tiedoll", Kanda said and turned away, walking in the direction of the dining hall, Ellen and Rabi following. After their breakfast they parted, Kanda and Ellen walking up to the floor of the Generals.

"We still have an hour. Let's prepare", Kanda suggested and walked over to his night table, opening the first drawer. Timcampy fluttered out of his cage and immediately bit into Kanda's hair.

"Tch! Stop that you little…!", Kanda hissed and tried to pry the golem off his hair. Ellen watched them in amusement.

"Timcampy does not like living in your night table", she said and Kanda glared at her.

"I need to hide him after all!", he snapped and Ellen laughed.

"General Froi Tiedoll knows about my connection to Cross, sooner or later Komui will know as well. Why don't you just let him fly freely?", she suggested and Kanda sighed as Timcampy flew over to the bed, getting comfortable on one of the pillows. Kanda snorted, then he walked over to his wardrobe pulling a suitcase down from it.

"Put some clothes in it", he said and put the open suitcase on the bed. Ellen just raised an eyebrow at him in amusement.

"What clothes? I have none with me – I bet you must have noticed", she replied and Kanda blinked at her.

"What?", he asked and the Noah smiled.

"I only have my white dress, my nightgown and the uniform here at the Black Order", she said and Kanda studied her with a frown.

"Tch. You are aware that this mission might take us several days or even weeks to complete? Do you really intend to wear the same clothes all the time? You can't go changing with magic when the others are with us!", he said and Ellen smiled at him, "use your head for once you idiot! You're an exorcist now, not a Noah!".

"It is a little bit late to go to a tailor now", Ellen said and Kanda just shook his head in annoyance.  
"Fine. I'll just get you some of my clothes. They might be too big, but better than nothing", Kanda said in annoyance and walked over to the wardrobe, pulling out clothes at random.

"How kind of you. Thank you", the Noah of Destiny replied with a charming smile, which only fuelled Kanda's anger. Even though Ellen seemed to enjoy irritating Kanda, she also knew how to calm him down again. The woman took a seat in the armchair next to the hourglass, putting her hands on the surface and started singing gently. Kanda continued packing without looking up once, but when he was done, he sat on the bed, listening to her and watching her. It sounded like a lullaby and the tips of her fingers were stroking the hourglass gently and it seemed to Kanda as if her fingers ghosted over his chest as well. The man studied the hourglass and witnessed how one of the petals which was in danger of falling, started to shake a bit, glowing in a gentle pink light, and then moved back up to where it belonged. Kanda was not sure if he should ask her about it, but he decided that it was his life after all that the lotus represented.

"What did you do just now?", Kanda wondered as the Noah stopped singing.

"As the Lotus, you and I are all connected it is not that difficult to heal what is only injured", she said and turned to Kanda with a gentle smile on her lips, "this Lotus has a life force as well, some of this life is already gone, but I can let it take from me for a bit"

"So you could prevent the petals from falling?"

"Yes, but only if they are in danger of falling because a lot of injuries have accumulated and their weight drags the petal down. If you lose a petal because you heal from deadly wounds then there is nothing I can do", she told him and smiled, "so pay attention to your health, Yu Kanda". Kanda frowned.

"Well I'm trying", he retorted and sighed, "Anyway, thank you I guess". She continued smiling and nodded.

"Shouldn't we get going?", Ellen asked, getting up from her seat and walking over to the door connecting to the Ark. Kanda watched her touch the door and stood up when he saw it disappear. "Nobody will get inside the Ark or inside the order… This should put your mind to rest", the Noah said and Kanda frowned.

"Let's go", he said, taking his suitcase and leaving, Ellen trailing behind.

They met Tiedoll and Rabi at the underground waterways. Rabi was smiling cheerfully and the General was going through his things again. Kanda saw that the old man was carrying his drawing tools with him – as expected.

"You're early as always, Yu!", Tiedoll said and turned to the boat, "let us go then, the journey will be long". Tiedoll went inside the boat, holding his hand out to Ellen, who took it with a smile, letting herself be helped into the boat.

"How kind of you, thank you", the young woman said with a charming smile and seated herself. Rabi nudged Kanda.

"He took away your opportunity to be a gentleman!", he whispered with a grin and Kanda just rolled his eyes. Kanda hadn't even planned to help her into the boat, she was old enough to get into it herself after all. Once they were all seated, a finder started pushing the boat from the dock.

"Where exactly are we going?", Kanda wanted to know, "we received no mission briefs this time". Tiedoll turned towards him and smiled.

"I told you; Scandinavia", he said and Kanda snorted, "to the very north, to be exact. You may recall the town I have been talking about. Akuma sightings have been reported in this abandoned place by finders and exorcists. Upon closer inspection they rediscovered those ancient, forgotten ruins"

"And why didn't they deal with the Akuma?", Kanda asked in a bored tone.

"Because first of all these ruins deserve closer inspections as no human seemed to have set foot into them for hundreds of years and secondly, it is filled with level three Akuma", Tiedoll said, earning himself a frown from Rabi and Kanda.

"Level three? How come? Is there something they are guarding?", Rabi asked and Kanda couldn't help turning his head to look at Ellen sceptically. She just smiled, which wasn't really of any help and he couldn't possibly ask her now.

"We don't know yet. That's why I have volunteered to go there. And now Kanda is with us as well, two Generals and two exorcists should be enough to deal with them", General Tiedoll said and scratched his head, "and to be honest, such ruins fascinate me. I am very interested to see what lies buried beneath the ground, untouched for maybe thousand years!"

"But you expect to find Innocence there?", Rabi asked and the General scratched his head.

"Innocence or something equally valuable. There must be a reason why that many level three Akuma have gathered there. I don't think that it simply serves as a hiding place for them – they have Japan for that", he answered and Kanda frowned.

"But what if the Earl plans to move closer to us? Japan as a base for the Earl is quite far away for the real war after all"

"Then they would have probably moved closed gradually, setting up strongholds along their way from Japan", Tiedoll mused, but couldn't convince Kanda with that alone.

"And what if they did? Maybe we just don't know", he said and Tiedoll nodded thoughtfully.

"True, true. We cannot know for sure. However, never before have we seen so many Level three Akuma gathered in a place outside of Japan. And think about it; those are ancient ruins which have been long forgotten by us humans. What if there is something the Earl wants?"

"Level three Akuma might be quite free to do what they want, but they still obey orders. I doubt that they just gather there on their own accord", Rabi added and the others looked at him, "maybe there is even something that either the Earl or us could use?"

"If this item was really that important", Kanda started, "then level three wouldn't be the only thing we would encounter there. It would be too risky for the Earl, Scandinavia is still closer to England than to Japan – he would have to expect that we would head there"

"Yes. That's true. But neither Earl nor Noah have been sighted there. Maybe they are deep inside the ruins, we can't be sure of that… We have to be cautious", Tiedoll said and turned to Ellen, "do you think you can handle such a dangerous situation?", he wondered worriedly.

"Yes. I am not on my own after all", she answered and smiled.

"If it turns out to be too dangerous then you and Rabi will leave", Tiedoll said and the other two exorcist nodded. Kanda wasn't pleased at all. There was a very uneasy feeling in his stomach. He shouldn't have accepted this mission Kanda mused and looked into the dimly illuminated darkness of the waterways with their swaying lanterns hanging from the ceilings.

"Something will happen…", he said and closed his eyes, "I just don't know how grave it will be…"

--

They boarded a train in the next village, seating themselves in a very comfortable compartment.

"We will take this train to Scotland, where we will then board a ship which will carry us to Sweden, the rest will be a horse carriage and foot journey", Tiedoll said, taking out his sketch book and pencils.

"And how long will this take us?", Rabi wondered and Tiedoll replied without looking up.

"As I said; long". Rabi made an uneasy grin, unsure of what to reply to that.

"He's always like this. Vague", Kanda told him and the older General looked up.

"By the way; do you mind me drawing you, Ellen? You don't even need to sit still. I just have to take peeks at you occasionally", he said and Ellen had to laugh at that. Kanda wondered if that was a sincere laugh, but she looked like it.

"Of course you may!"

"I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable by stealing glances at you", Tiedoll said with a smile and started sketching.

"Don't worry about that. I am very curious how your picture will turn out", she said with a smile.

"Do you like pictures Ellen?", Tiedoll asked, still sketching, looking up to see the girl nod, "you can have a look at a few I did if you'd like". He put his pen aside and took out a black leather bound book, handing it to Ellen. She could read "Black Order" written on it and opened it. "I drew every exorcist I met"

"You could have taken photographs of them", Rabi commented, looking over Ellen's shoulder while she looked at each page closely.

"Of course I could have done that, but by drawing them I was able to memorize them. Their special features, their personality, their story. Photographs today are for the following generations who want to know how things looked like. But these pictures I drew are for me and my memories"

"I think I agree…", Ellen said, still looking at the pictures, "those tell me more than photographs might have done…". She stopped smiling only shortly when she saw Kanda's picture.

"Tch. Not that one", the younger General mumbled angrily.

"Yu with short hair?!", Rabi shouted and started at the picture of the young man.

"That's when I found him. He was a very pretty, but also a very sad boy back then", Tiedoll said and Ellen studied the picture. Kanda's eyes were so wide and even though it was only coal and white paper, she could nearly see the striking, deep blue she had found fascinating from the very beginning. The Japanese's eyes were looking intensely at something she and Rabi didn't know about, pondering and sad. Ellen remembered this time, the time after General Xavier died. She had only seen him once more, hair cut short like his mentor's. Guilt. He has lived on guilt following Xavier's death and Ellen had left him like that – knowing that this time it had been her fault that it even came that far. Her curse had seeped into the Lotus flower, seeped into Kanda's blood. Maybe only droplets, but they had affected him.

"Ellen?", Rabi asked and Kanda looked at her as she didn't reply. She was still looking at the picture, deeply in thoughts. She didn't say anything, her face was calm. He wondered what she was thinking about. He extended his hand and turned the page. Ellen snapped out of her daydreams and looked up at Kanda. He didn't say anything and neither did the other ones, all having their own thoughts about that awkward moment, but it passed.

"Linali is such a cutie!", Rabi exclaimed only seconds later.

"Long hair looks beautiful on her", Ellen commented and smiled. And the strange moment just before seemed to be forgotten.

- - -

Kanda had started sleeping after some hours but was roughly woken up by something biting his neck. He shot up, startling Ellen. Kanda blinked in surprise, Mugen already in his hand but realized that there was nobody in here but Ellen. He frowned and touched his neck.

"I told you to let Timcampy out", Ellen reminded him and grabbed the tail of the golem, pulling him out of Kanda's uniform.

"How did that thing even get in there?", Kanda snorted and the golem seated himself on Ellen's head. Ellen smiled and shrugged.

"Where are the others?", Kanda asked.

"They left five minutes ago, to get something to eat. Tiedoll didn't want to wake you up as you were sleeping "so cutely" he said".

"Idiot", the man snorted, not specifying if he meant Ellen or Tiedoll, then he leant back against the seat, studying Ellen, who started singing to Timcampy. "What was that stupid daze you were in?". Ellen stopped, looking at Kanda, "when you were looking at the picture".

"Oh", Ellen said casually, "I just remembered".

"What?", Kanda wanted to know and Ellen smiled at him.

"Guilt", Ellen replied and Kanda frowned.

"Who's guilt?", he demanded, "mine? Because it was my fault that Xavier died?".

"Yes. Your guilt. But it wasn't your fault that he died"

"Right…", Kanda snorted and Ellen looked at him, "it was that charm, because you messed up"

"You could put it like that", Ellen replied quietly, still meeting Kanda's eyes.

"So it's your guilt then"

"Maybe it should be, but it was you who felt it", she said and Kanda snorted.

"I know that you don't care. Stop talking about it", he spat and Ellen just smiled as reply, "what do you think about the mission?"

"It's peculiar. I am very interested to see what will happen", she said and Kanda snapped. He grabbed her by the collar and started at her.

"Stop being such a bastard", he whispered dangerously, "you know what is at stake, don't you?"

"Of course I know; lives, the world and more importantly: victory", she replied quietly and Kanda could feel her breath on his lips.

"Tiedoll's life and Rabi's life", Kanda replied darkly, staring into her eyes, "will not be sacrificed just because you're being all mysterious. You are on our side right now, behave like it for once! Wake up and start caring!", Kanda spat and let go off her, "you're a human, your life means something, don't try to deny that!". Ellen looked at him and then she nodded. Kanda sighed, trying again: "do you have any clue what this could be about?".

"So far I can only conclude that this has nothing to do with the Earl's tactic for finding Innocence pieces to destroy. Lord Tyki Mikk said that level one Akuma are sent out at random. There is no need for level three to intervene as a Noah is informed as soon as the Akuma find Innocence…"

"Do you doubt that it is Innocence then?"

"I am not sure. About what you said – the Earl getting closer; I don't think that this is likely. The Earl doesn't need to. He has connections all over the world, even in England and he has the Ark"

"Might the Earl have an interest in the ruins?"

"He might. You know that the Earl is a very old being. If the ruins are a relic of the world he comes from then he might have an interest in them. I will know once I'm there. As of now I think that these are ruins built by humans", Ellen replied thoughtfully and Kanda put his fingers to his lips.

"And he wouldn't be interested in those…", he concluded and Ellen nodded.

"Exactly. But level three Akuma don't gather without reasons. The Earl uses level three Akuma like the order uses exorcists; they have missions"

"Hm. Might it be a trap?", Kanda asked and Ellen looked at him.

"Pardon me?"

"A trap. So many Akuma don't go unnoticed. What if it's only to lure exorcist inside, into a construction of ruins we don't know and might not be able to fight well in". Ellen thought about that for a while and then she nodded.

"This might be. That would explain their number. However, I do think that there is something in there that they either guard or try to reach".

"Artefacts from the past maybe? Something like Innocence and the Ark?", Kanda suggested and Ellen seemed to think about that. The General searched his memory for mystical objects. There were some he knew of, but nothing too important.

"Maybe that Akuma plant thing? But I cannot possibly ask her about it…", Kanda mused.

"Let's just suppose that it's an artefact of some kind", Kanda continued and Ellen looked back up, "would the Earl want it because he could use it or because we could use it?". Ellen crossed her arms in front of her chest, leaning back against the seat and looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. Kanda noticed that she looked rather different if she wore that expression, almost boyish.

"A lot of artefacts from that ancient time were not made for either side to use – which just means that both sides could use it today. The world was still grey back then, whereas it turned to black and white in the minds and hearts of people today"

"That's too cryptic for my liking", Kanda commented and Ellen laughed, "what you want to say is, that whatever is in there; whoever gets it first is going to use it?"

"Not really. It depends on what kind of artefact it is. There are some that clearly oppose the Earl, like Innocence". Ellen stopped and was thinking about something for a while, then she continued, "there were weapons once, before Innocence was created. But they have been lost…"

"And this thing in the ruins might be such an item?", Kanda wondered but Ellen looked at him with a small smile.

"As I've said; they have been lost", she told him and Kanda frowned. But before he could continue asking, he heard Rabi and Tiedoll's chatter in the corridor.

"We'll continue this conversation later", he told Ellen and she just smiled. When Rabi barged into the compartment, the first thing he did was shout a: "OH!" and point at Timcampy.

"What's that? Is that yours, Ellen?". Tiedoll adjusted his glasses and looked at the golden golem.

"Isn't that Cross' Timcampy?", he wondered and Ellen nodded with a smile. "I see, so he gave it to you before Kanda found you?", he continued and Ellen nodded again.

"I don't get it. Are you talking about _General_ Cross?", Rabi asked, scratching his head.

"Yes. I learnt from him before Yu Kanda found me. He also left me his golem", Ellen explained and Rabi still looked quite confused.

"Then that guy is still alive?", Rabi wondered, for he had never seen the General before, but he had heard stories. Not the best stories actually. "Where is he now?"

"I do not know where he is but he certainly is alive", Ellen replied and Rabi didn't feel the need to continue asking and neither did Tiedoll. They continued the journey to Scotland.

- - -

Tiedoll told the three other exorcists that they had one hour to do whatever they liked before the ship was ready to board.

"I'll go buy some new paper, they use to get very special shipments in this town", Tiedoll said with a bright smile and disappeared. Rabi looked around.

"What would you like to do?", he wondered.

"Nothing actually", Kanda snorted and Rabi frowned, then he looked at Ellen.

"What about you, Ellen? I'm sure there are more interesting things than Kanda's nothing". Kanda glared at him but Ellen found that pretty amusing.

"I know that there is a store selling candies. How about going there?", she suggested, something that made Kanda stare at her. Candies…? But Rabi was delighted.

"That's a perfect idea! How do you know, have you been here before?", Rabi wondered. Ellen shook her head.

"No, but an acquaintance of mine really liked sweets and he's been here before", the Noah answered and Kanda had the suspicion that she might be talking about that wardrobe like guy Skinn Boric. The one he had killed in the Ark incident.

"I see! Then what are we waiting for! Come on Yu! Don't you want to join us?"

"Why the hell should I want to visit a candy shop?!", the Japanese barked, but Rabi grabbed his hand and started dragging him after Ellen who was leading the way.

- - -

The wind in the small village was strong and salty, but once they got into the candy shop everything smelled of sugar. Hundreds variations of sugar actually. Kanda never knew that there were so many different flavours of _sweet_. But this new bit of information changed nothing; it was terrible. And it was mostly pink. The shop was pretty small, but all the walls were filled with shelves and baskets holding different kinds of sweets. The owner of the shop looked a bit sceptical as the exorcists entered his shop, but once he saw Rabi's delighted face and the young, sweet Ellen, he relaxed – probably taking them to be strange foreigners wearing the latest fashion of some big city. He greeted them and started giving advice and recommendation on the best sweets he had in store. Kanda just stood in a corner, next to rainbow coloured _things_ that looked like marbles. Kanda was pretty sure that most of the things in this shop just couldn't be edible.

After a long while the two other exorcists both had small bags filled with sweets and Kanda was free to leave the shop again.

The only positive thing was that those two idiots took forty minutes to decide what sweets to buy and they no longer had to wait for a long time.

"I still don't understand why you didn't want anything", Rabi wondered and shot Kanda a sly look, "do you think that you're too _old_ for candies?", he teased the nearly forty year old man.

"Sweet things are for small children! We are all too old to eat such things and especially to behave like small children on a fair while buying them!"

"Just because you don't know how to enjoy yourself when given the opportunity", Ellen said, "doesn't mean that we don't know either". Kanda frowned at her and couldn't get rid of the feeling that she might have meant that in a more insinuating way than it sounded connected to a shopping tour in a candy store. And he couldn't keep from remembering that one time in Rome where he could have…

"Tch! Shut up!", he hissed, keeping himself from adding any insults, because they should actually behave like they had a nice mentor apprentice relationship. Which was pretty hard when the witch intended to get him worked up.

"Oh! Children, there you are? The ship is already up for boarding. Do you want to go?", Tiedoll asked once he spotted them.

"Yes!", Rabi chirped and they finally got onto the ship, which would take them over to Sweden.

_To be continued_

**_Notes:_**

_Here are the two prophecies again:_

_1. "You will finally find the person you have searched for so long. Your encounter with them will give you alone the possibility to choose the course of fate" (to Kanda)_

_2. "I saw that you might come to be a great light in the darkness, but this power comes as a double-edged sword. It does not lie in your hands what you will become" (to Ellen)_

_Yeah, this chapter had a few silly scenes (well, actually just the one with the candy shop), but overall I am pleased with how it turned out. Things are going to get interesting next chapter (I hope). I'm also trying to add a few mock-romance moments so we can gradually move to the next romance / whatever scene. _

_What lies hidden in the ruins? And will the exorcists be able to get their hands on it? Suspense, suspense. **lol**_

_Completely random, but I realized that my NoD chapters never have cliff-hangers... Potential! XD _

_And more random stuff: curse you big revelation of chapter 166! A friend of mine and I are convinced that Cross is lying. At least somehow. Yes. **nod** Anyway, as I'm writing an AU I'm not really affected by these things. But still... **goes on ranting**_

_**Feedback would be nice!** Even if you just want to rant with me about well... anything :D_

_P.S. Stole "wardrobe guy" as synonyme for Skinn from the same friend mentioned above (even though she talked about Ludwig Revolution's Hänsel) **snicker**_


	14. Chapter 14

**_Author's Notes:_**

_Okay, I lied. Somehow. I promised action, I always do. But I made them stay on the ship a little longer so I could develop Kanda and Ellen's relationship. There have been constant demands for romance. It's a bit hard to put in romance in the current situation, but this chapter is all about it! Somehow at least! XD_

_Enjoy!_

**_Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino_**

* * *

The ship they were on wasn't normally used as passenger ship, but it was not the first time that the captain did exorcists a favour.

"Good to have a bunch of exorcists on deck!", the captain, a middle-aged man with a brown beard and a lot of wrinkles around his brown eyes, said, grinning. He shook each of the passenger's hands, exchanging brief introductions. "Let's get you under deck, the pots in the kitchen are already steaming!", he said, making a forceful gesture with his hand indicating the others to follow him. "Never had a girl exorcist on my ship, I always thought there were none", the captain continued talking as he lead them down the stairs and into a room with a table and chairs. He asked them to sit down, while he just stood by the table, apparently waiting for the food to arrive, "but there's a first time for everything as the saying goes, right?". General Tiedoll was the only one who dared to reply to the captain's semi monologue.

"You're pretty insightful, captain", he complimented and the captain laughed, "may I ask about our accommodations? Do you have something for us?"

"I always have something for your kind!", the captain replied, grinning proudly and finally a young boy came with the food. The food was brought to the table and the captain looked at the food affectionately. "Never had better food on sea, I assure you. The best you can get here on our ship!", the captain said.

"Thank you very much", Tiedoll said and started eating, the others doing the same. Kanda thought that it was good enough, but not praiseworthy. But you should never anger the captain steering the ship you're on. That would be stupid.

"Ah, accommodations", the captain said as he let his eyes travel over the eating exorcists, landing on Ellen, "because of the lass"

"Yes", was the only thing Tiedoll said.

"We've got a small room with a single bed in which she could sleep. Even got a lock to keep the men out". Kanda listened dubiously. He doubted that the witch cared. She'd probably do the same with them as she did with the guy in Rome – _enjoy herself_. Kanda snorted, which didn't go unnoticed by Ellen.

"Is there something the matter?", she asked with a smile and Kanda just glared at her.

"No, nothing. Continue eating, it's getting cold", he said, remembering what Xavier had always said to him when they have been eating and Kanda had started to philosophize about everything that crossed his mind. Ellen looked at him, but then she smiled and continued eating.

-

Kanda had somehow hoped that he and Ellen could have shared a room. He was sitting on the bed – Tiedoll was already snoring loudly from the other side of the room – while Rabi was adjusting his pillow.

"What's the matter Yu? Getting sea-sick?", he teased and Kanda glared at him. If he could have shared a room with Ellen he wouldn't have needed to share a bed with Rabi. "Just don't puke over me"

"You know that I never get sea-sick or sick for the matter", Kanda reminded him with a cold glare.

"Oh right", Rabi said, lying down, "if you don't get into bed then I'm gonna keep the blanket to myself", the red-haired exorcist continued, "because every time we sleep together you tug at the blanked so that my feet get uncovered. And I don't like cold toes". Kanda wondered how Rabi could say such ridiculous things with a straight face. Kanda just snorted and lay down, pulling half of the blanket to himself. If he could have shared a room then he wouldn't have to lie awake now, waiting for Rabi to start sleeping and he wouldn't have to sneak out of the room.

He could feel the rocking of the ship when he was in the corridor. The Noah's room was not far away and he walked over to it, as casually as he could, just in case someone came patrolling. For good measure he knocked first and then tried turning the knob. It was dark in the room, but not entirely. There was a small bed lamp glowing faintly and light from the corridor came into the small room. Kanda went inside, closing the door behind him and turning the key, just in case.

"Oi, witch", Kanda called and walked over to the bed. The room really was small; there were only the bed and the night table and just enough space for Ellen to dress and undress Kanda assumed. The woman was lying in bed and Kanda frowned as he realized that she was sleeping. The man extended his hand and put it on her shoulder, feeling her warm skin through the fabric of her nightgown. He shook her a bit and saw how she opened her eyes, blinking slightly.

"Tyki Mikk?", she asked and Kanda frowned.

"Kanda", he corrected her and Ellen sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes lazily.

"I'm sorry Yu Kanda…", she said, adjusting the buttons on her nightgown, before she turned to Kanda, looking up at him, "what did you want?"

"Talk"

"Now?", Ellen wondered and the man nodded. The Noah sighed slightly and then she nodded, making space on the bed, so that Kanda could sit down. Ellen yawned and Kanda was a bit surprised to see her do that, "you must excuse… When I don't wake up on my own accord I tend to be pretty tired"

"You can continue sleeping once we're done", Kanda told her and Ellen just nodded. But now that he was here, Kanda didn't even know what to ask her. "We've been talking about those weapons"

"Which have been lost", Ellen said fumbling with the buttons of her nightgown again.

"Is that all there is to it? Why did you bring it up if it's not relevant?", Kanda wondered with a suspicious frown and Ellen let her hands drop to the mattress, turning towards Kanda.

"Because you asked about artefacts. The only thing I know about them is that they are lost. There is nothing more I can tell you", she said, leaning against the wall.

"Don't you know what kind of weapons they were? Who forged them? What were they used for? When were they lost?", Kanda wondered even though he knew that these questions were no longer connected with their mission. It was just something which could keep him talking. Ellen's eyes slid close.

"A lot of questions at once… For this hour…", she mumbled, sliding down the wall slowly, but then her white hair caught in a splinter of wood, that was sticking out of the old wall. Ellen opened her eyes again and looked over her shoulder. She lifted her hands to undo it, but Kanda did it for her. He pried the white strands away from the splinter and Ellen smiled at him.

"How kind of you"

"Maybe you should cut your hair", Kanda told her and Ellen had to laugh. Ellen rarely wore her hair down and now Kanda could see how long it actually was. It probably must have looked very nice when it had still been brown, but she was still beautiful the way she was right now.

"Maybe I should…", she said rubbing her eyes again.

"Maybe you shouldn't", Kanda replied and she looked up to him. She studied his face and then she smiled again.

"Yes, you're right", she answered and patted her cushion. Kanda stood up and Ellen lay back down, looking up at him. "Do you want to sneak back into your room?".

"I should", Kanda just snorted.

"Maybe you shouldn't", Ellen replied innocently and Kanda frowned, but then he couldn't help but grin.

"I don't want your heart", he answered her and Ellen laughed into her pillow.

"That's fine, because I lost it", she replied and Kanda studied her face, half turned into the pillow, her eyes looking at the mattress unfocusedly.

"Maybe you just misplaced it", Kanda said and grabbed a corner of the blanked, slipping into the bed next to her.

"Hmm… maybe", Ellen said, moving closer to the wall so Kanda had more space. The young man put his hands in front of him, just like Ellen did, their fingers nearly touching. "Your toes are cold", she said, her breath brushing his fingertips.

"Maybe"

-

Kanda woke when the sailors started walking through the corridors as carefully as a horde of elephants and equally as loud. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw were fingers. He frowned but then he remembered where he was. In the Noah's room on board of a ship whose name he had already forgotten. But what did it matter anyway? More important was the fact that he was still in this room. Had he really slept with the witch?

"In her bed", Kanda added for the sake of correctness. He hadn't slept with her, just with her in the same bed. And not for the first time, but never this close. He had always been disgusted at her – mostly at her body. Kanda was not sure why, but he assumed he knew the reason. First she was the one who gave him the curse and she a Noah on top of that – an exorcist's enemy by default. Then he found out that she was the one responsible for his family's death and his village's annihilation. And then she was the woman who didn't care about love and lust. It was just flesh, just her body she used. And that had disgusted him as well. Kanda knew about lust of course (even though he was not so sure about love) but the Noah was tainted. In too many ways to be worthy to touch.

But now she was lying so close to him, their fingers almost touching. She did look pure, even though one of her hands was black – ironically this black hand was the proof that she was indeed one chosen by Innocence. Kanda studied Ellen, especially her hands. And then he moved his fingers, first touching the back of his fingers to hers, then drawing his finger tips over her fingers. Finger tips touching, Kanda looked back up at Ellen, but she was still sleeping. Her fingers were warm and smooth. Whenever she had touched the hourglass, he could feel her fingers moving over his chest as well. Those fingers had been gentle and had felt nice. Kanda's fingers continued their way down the inside of her fingers and into her palm, where he rested his hand, because Ellen opened her eyes.

"Yu Kanda?", she asked and he nodded, "you're still here?"

"Should I have left?", he asked mockingly, "did you expect me to?". Ellen became aware of their linked hands.

"I am used to the fact that people leave my bed as soon as they have rested", Ellen told him with a sly smile and Kanda rolled his eyes, pulling his hand away.

"Your toes are warm now", Ellen commented as Kanda shifted in bed, unsure if he should get up, he had no watch after all, but even Rabi won't sleep through the noise the sailors made.

"Interesting…", Kanda just snorted, then he decided that there was nothing left to do (nothing he wanted to do at least) and got up. Ellen didn't say anything, just smiled up at him and Kanda felt awkward leaving her bed. It felt as if they had done _something_ or that they should have been doing something. Something different than just sleeping side by side as they had done the last few days. But Ellen didn't say anything and Kanda surely wasn't up to climb right back in. That still was a very disgusting thought, like she were tainted and some of it might crawl into Kanda's body if he got too close. "I'll see you at breakfast", Kanda said and left the room, his feet making small noises as he walked over the wooden floor. He turned the key and opened the door into the corridors. Most of the sailors had already gone up and the ones that were still inside the corridor didn't really notice Kanda. Had Rabi seen him going out of Ellen's room then he would have thought the obvious. But the obvious was not always the truth. "That's stupid, why am I still thinking about that?", Kanda mused, very annoyed, making his way back to his cabin. "I'm not even interested in that! When I look at her… I'll only get annoyed or intrigued at the most". He thought back to the obvious noises he had heard in Rome and suppressed a shudder. He didn't really mind sexual intercourse but something about the Noah was just repugnant. "On top of all the things I hate about her, she's a 55 year old lady in the body of a 15 year old. Tch. 15 year old for crying out loud, how does she even get the men to join her in bed?". Kanda opened the door of the room he shared with Tiedoll and Rabi and found the younger exorcist already up, lazily getting into his normal clothes.

"Oh, Yu! Where have you been?", Rabi asked, blinking away the laziness. Tiedoll was sitting on his bed, going through his papers, but he didn't seem particularly interested in where Kanda had been.

"Warming my toes", he answered and Rabi looked at him with a clueless expression. Kanda ignored him and dressed himself, then he went back outside, Rabi following. "Oi, get dressed!", the black haired man said, knocking at Ellen's door. The door opened and Ellen, in her uniform, came outside.

"Good morning you two!", she greeted them and smiled.

"How can you be so cheerful in the morning?", Rabi wondered, yawning loudly.

"I had a good night's sleep", she answered and shot Kanda a sly grin, which didn't escape Rabi's watchful eye.

"Ah, you two share a room back at home, right?", Rabi asked and Ellen nodded. The three were making their way to the room where they had had dinner last evening. "So... How do you do that? Sleep in two beds?"

"We have a very big bed which we share. We have enough space to not bother the other", Ellen answered and Kanda was angry that this subject even came up. Stupid Rabi and his stupid curiosity and stupid Ellen for even answering!

"And there's nothing going on between you two?", Rabi asked and Ellen nodded, "do you already have a boyfriend, Ellen?". Kanda guessed that it was no longer unbelievable to Rabi that they were not involved, because he thought that Kanda was 38 and Ellen only 15. They arrived at the room, which already had breakfast on the table. They seated themselves, not waiting for Tiedoll, because the man tended to draw in the morning, eating breakfast at about 10 o'clock.

"Do you really want to know?", Ellen asked with a smile and Rabi nodded. Kanda wondered what she would tell him. "I was married before I joined the order"

"Married? But you're so young!", Rabi shouted and Kanda found it hard to believe that she was confessing that. What did she plan to achieve by that? Moments later he remembered that Rabi had a thing for widows and a look into Rabi's face told him that he was seeing her in a different light now. Could she possibly be planning to manipulate Rabi?

"Tch. That would be stupid! There is nothing she would achieve by that, I don't think she would aim to drive Rabi and Linali apart... And what else could twisting Rabi around her finger result in?"

"Indeed. But he died", Ellen continued, still with her smile as if she were talking of something that didn't affect her in the slightest.

"So... Did your parents arrange the marriage?", Rabi asked, probably not missing the uncaring tone she used to speak about her husband. A husband, Kanda knew, she had loved dearly.

"Not really, but my family did approve of the marriage and they advised that I should take him as a husband", she explained, Rabi listening with an interested face. Kanda on the other hand was also listening but for other reasons. He knew who she married and he knew that the man was killed by the Earl. Now he also knew that the Noah-Clan approved of the marriage, which would probably mean that they most likely didn't expect Mana to turn against them.

"It didn't last long then... Poor Ellen...", Rabi told her and Ellen smiled at him.

"Don't worry about me", she assured him and the red-haired exorcist smiled as well.

"And there is someone new?", he continued asking.

"Well... It's a bit complicated, now that I'm an exorcist. He doesn't know and I haven't seen him for a while", she said and Rabi nodded.

"How is that guy? I'm pretty interested to know what kind of guy you'd fancy. Maybe Kanda could learn from him", he said with a cheeky grin directed at the general.

"How is that connected to me?", Kanda asked, eyebrow raised. Rabi laughed and patted his shoulder.

"It's time you got yourself a girl and besides, aren't you keen to know more about your protégée?"

"I don't think that her love life is any of my business", Kanda said, mentally adding that while he did want to know who his "rival" was, he really didn't want to hear more about her many men she already had in her bed.

"Boring", Rabi commented causing Ellen to laugh slightly, "see? Ellen agrees!". Kanda just snorted, then he studied Ellen out of the corners of his eyes. He did wonder who that Noah lover was. He didn't know that many male Noah, especially those who were still alive. Out of those who he knew he suspected that it might be the curly head – Lord Tyki Mikk. Probably the best looking Noah of the lot, but also the one he hated most. He was responsible for a lot of killing. But he seemed to be a Casanova... It really wouldn't be surprising. But it would be disgusting. Another stain on Ellen's body.

"Well... He's a gentleman I guess. And he's passionate", Ellen told Rabi and the red-head grinned.

"You make me blush! A passionate lover for young Ellen! How indecent!"

"Indecent, yeah right. You're the one who looks for prey among the female population between the age 10 and 40", Kanda commented with a snort. Rabi had to laugh at that, even though he looked a bit guilty about it. Kanda thought that he should be.

"What about you dear Rabi? Is there no one you fancy?", Ellen wondered and the Bookman scratched his head.

"I like a few women, you know. If you see one and it's like you just go all wobbly knees and can't help screaming "strike" you know", Rabi mumbled and Kanda was pretty sure that Ellen had no clue what he was talking about even though she nodded politely, "then you just can't help it. I'm a man after all..."

"Get to the point", Kanda snorted and Rabi snapped out of it, "he likes Linali Li"

"Oh, I see", Ellen said, smiling gently, "she is a fine woman"

"With a scary brother, so please, please Ellen, keep this a secret!", Rabi winced, taking hold of Ellen's hands.

"Of course", Ellen said laughing, "but what is so bad about Komui Li? I thought that he was a nice man?"

"He's obsessed with his sister! He hunts potential threats to her virginity and pureness with very horrible means...", Rabi explained, shivering slightly, "I haven't been a target yet, because I seem to be the brotherly, protective type", he said, "and because I'm a Bookman...", he added silently, but both Ellen and Kanda seemed to know what that signified.

-

There wasn't much to do on board of the ship. Rabi, Kanda and Ellen tended to sit on deck, looking over the sea, watching clouds pass by, observing seagulls and occasionally spotting mainland that became visible as they were passing Germany and Denmark. Tiedoll for his part spent his time drawing the people on board and the younger three exorcists. They spoke of irrelevant things, Rabi mostly told them of past missions (which Kanda had heard of countless times but Ellen was listening attentively). Kanda used to ponder in silence. He was able to banish most thoughts about Ellen and their dubious relationship and focused mainly on the mission that lay before them. He was pretty interested in those lost artefacts, just in case that they proved to be relevant, but maybe also just because he didn't really have much else to think about. He still didn't know why there were so many level three Akuma, he didn't know what was waiting for them in those forgotten ruins and he also didn't know how Ellen would be able to hide the fact that she was a Noah. And then there was that thing with the Noah lover. God, how it bothered him! Not the fact that she had a lover among the Noah, heaven forbid, that was what had he expected, she even had married one of those. The problem was that this person might very possibly be Tyki Mikk that damned curly-head Noah. But he could even live with that the guy seemed to be charming and was rather good looking after all (or so Kanda thought, it was hard to judge). However, it was the fact that this Noah lover (whoever it might be) was the one who can or will take her back to the dark side. The one who can or will be responsible for the defeat of the exorcists and the downfall of the human race. It was this person he had to fight against without even opposing him in a battle. He had to defeat him using his reason or so he liked to believe. Trying to win Ellen over was on one hand just not possible for Kanda at the moment and on the other hand probably pointless. He would just turn to be another of the Noah's trophies. Another man she managed to lure into bed. Yet another stain on her body. He didn't need to fool himself; yesterday meant nothing at all. The Noah was in love with this enigmatic foe, even though yesterday she didn't seem to be too happy about it.

"She seemed... Even sad... I wonder why? Was it because of what I said some time ago? That she shouldn't go back to the people who made her suffer?", Kanda wondered and sighed, "I really have no clue how to deal with this. Tch... That's just too bothersome..." He looked at Ellen, who has started searching shapes in the clouds with Rabi. "It would be easier if I just could beat some sense into her... But I fear that this wouldn't work... I guess I still have to wait and see what happens". Patience, Kanda thought, was never his forte though...

-

When night fell and the winds from the sea were getting cold, Rabi announced that he would be going to bed now.

"Good night", he managed to say between yawns and disappeared inside. Kanda and Ellen were still sitting on the floor, leaning against the railing. They were silent and only the wind and the waves were to be heard.

"Why did you tell Rabi?", Kanda asked all of a sudden and Ellen turned her head towards him, "about your marriage and your lover?"

"Oh", Ellen said, smiling, "why shouldn't I have?"

"Because it raises a lot of questions", Kanda replied and Ellen laughed quietly.

"Yes, I am aware of that. But I felt like those were things the Bookman was allowed to hear", Ellen said and looked at Kanda with a smile.

"What do you mean by that?", Kanda asked sceptically.

"Rabi is a Bookman and I know the ways of the Bookmen. Even if it is Rabi, if you talk to a Bookman, you have to pay attention to what you say because they will remember your words. Right now Rabi will remember them, but not because those facts are relevant for him as a Bookman. His predecessor knew that I was married"

"But Rabi doesn't know what you are!", Kanda hissed and Ellen smiled at him.

"No he doesn't, that's why the information is not relevant. And it will not be until he finds out who I really am", Ellen told him and the Japanese man frowned.

"Do you still think that the Noah of Destiny is who you really are? You should reconsider that", Kanda told her and Ellen had to laugh.

"There is no need to. You think that as well", Ellen replied and Kanda looked at her wordlessly. Was that true? Did he?

"Then we should both reconsider", Kanda concluded and watched Ellen raise her head to look up into the sky, where the first stars were appearing.

"I don't know if we can", she said and Kanda had nothing to add to that. Some time passed, but then Ellen got on her feet. "What do you think about going to bed as well Yu Kanda? It is getting late", she suggested and Kanda nodded, getting up as well. They went back under deck and walked through the corridor. "Will you join me again?", Ellen asked as Kanda stopped at his own door. He snorted, but then he nodded and followed her to the next door. Ellen opened the door and closed it again after Kanda, turning the key. "I was pretty surprised that you didn't ask any _personal_ questions", Ellen said after a while, starting to get undressed, which was pretty hard to do, as she didn't have much space to do so.

"What do you mean by that?", Kanda wondered, raising an eyebrow. Ellen laughed and continued undressing.

"You seemed to enjoy asking questions about my late husband", she said and the black haired man frowned.

"Well, there is nothing I need to know about him right now. I guess all the things which needed to be said were said", Kanda told her and Ellen smiled, "Or did you want me to ask about your Noah lover?"

"Well, maybe I assumed that you'd be curious", Ellen confessed and slipped the nightgown over her head, back turned towards Kanda.

"Would you have given answers?", Kanda asked with a snort and Ellen looked over her shoulder smiling slyly. "Tch. Suit yourself. I guess I know anyway, but I don't know how to change that"

"Change what?", Ellen asked, sitting on her bed.

"Him holding your heart", he answered and Ellen smiled at him, "I saw it with that guy in Rome. Affairs won't change anything. Lust alone will never challenge lust paired with love, at least not in your case. And love is something I cannot give you and neither do I think that you would want it"

"So it's reason then", Ellen said with a mocking tone and that coy smile on her lips.

"Tch. So what? Do you want to be convinced that he's an idiot or what? That he won't do you any good? Because you damn well know that already. You know that he's a murderer, you know that he's probably caught up in his own need for pleasure, you know that he probably can't compare to what you had with your husband and you know that he probably won't take your side if he finds out that you've become an exorcist", Kanda said, irritated. Ellen seemed to be a bit surprised, but her smile was back on her lips after a split second.

"My, how insightful you've become Yu Kanda", she said and touched his leg, which made him want to take a step backwards, but he didn't.

"Tch. I know that there must be something which makes you stay with him. Mind telling me what it is?", Kanda asked and Ellen looked up at him and her smile didn't look fake this time, but it wasn't a real smile either.

"It's love...", she said and Kanda shook his head, sighing, "it's nothing rational, Yu Kanda. It is simply love"

"You're still human. A lot more than you think, aren't' you?", Kanda wondered and Ellen continued smiling, shrugging slightly, apologetically. "Well", he said and sat on the bed, "it's not your fault for falling in love with idiots. But maybe we should find you someone better"

"How fatherly. You remind me of someone when you say that", Ellen joked and Kanda glared at her.

"How about that Rome guy?"

"Howard Link?"

"How the heck should I know his name?!", Kanda barked and Ellen had to laugh in amusement.

"Well, he was good looking and more than able... But I guess Rabi was pretty good in explaining it today. You need to have wobbly knees and go "strike". Whatever that means"

"And that happened with your Noah lover?", Kanda wondered, "it happened with Mana Walker?". Ellen stopped smiling and then she sighed.

"To be honest, it didn't. I first had to learn what it meant to be a girl in love again"

"So there's never been someone who you...", Kanda groaned, "why am I even having this conversation with you?", he asked, pretty embarrassed.

"I wonder...", Ellen replied with a laugh, "you mean someone I fell in love with at first sight? There was someone. Back when I was a young girl of 13"

"Quite some time ago", Kanda commented and Ellen smiled at him.

"Yes... That's true... But I still remember him. How I saw him standing in the corridor, putting on that brave, determined face while he was practically trembling. I thought he was _cute_"

"Because he was _shaking_", Kanda snorted with a mocking grin.

"If I remember correctly, you liked your first girlfriend back when you were ten because she had the same hair pin as your mother", Ellen replied with a polite smile and Kanda stared at her.

"I'm pretty disturbed by the idea that you've been watching me that long", he told her darkly and Ellen laughed.

"Then let us stop pondering about the subject of first love. It is neither relevant nor interesting for either of us", Ellen said and Kanda concluded that she might be right.

"Fine. There will probably be a time when you find someone better suited for you than a traitorous Noah", she said and Ellen had to laugh.

"But that would be me, right? A traitorous Noah I mean", she said and Kanda snorted.

"Right, but for our side that's a good thing, and we both now that we're the good ones in this war"

"And what makes you think that?", Ellen challenged him with a sly smile, her hand on her lips.

"Because we're working to preserve the world. With all its beauty and deformities. And that is better than erasing it", Kanda answered and the Noah smiled.

"I see"

"Yes, you better do", the man replied and folded his arms.

"Would you like to stay for the night?", Ellen asked and Kanda studied her.

"I wonder why you ask", Kanda said and Ellen smiled.

"Because your body is warm, don't you think that is enough?", Ellen wondered and Kanda snorted in annoyance. But he didn't really feel like walking back to his room. "I have one of your shirts under the bed". Kanda didn't say anything but kneeled down to get it. He undressed and put the shirt on, then he slipped under the thin cover of the bed. They were facing each other again.

"You touch me the same way you touch the hourglass", Kanda said and slipped his hand into Ellen's palm after he had watched her stroke the back of his hand in strange fascination.

"And your hands are as soft as Mana's..."

"Probably my redeeming quality", Kanda said, but it somehow didn't sound as mockingly as he intended to, "you didn't answer".

"Because you didn't ask a question", Ellen whispered.

"Why do you touch me the same way as you touch the hourglass?", Kanda asked after he had groaned in annoyance. Ellen studied their hands, then she raised her eyes.

"Hm. Maybe it's just because of a lost childhood...", she said, very slowly and quietly, her eyes slipping shut.

"What does she mean by that?", Kanda wondered.

"There should have been more to life than just that what destiny made it to be...", Ellen continued, her breath tickling Kanda's face, but then she fell asleep. Just like that. Kanda studied her, still trying to wrap his mind around what the Noah just said. What did she mean by destiny? Was she referring to herself? Or to the concept of destiny and fate? Kanda couldn't know and he probably wouldn't find out either.

"There's still a lot to uncover... And even more to understand...", he thought before he closed his eyes as well. "How bothersome..."

-

Rabi was more than just sceptical when Kanda came back into the room the next morning after both have been woken by the sailors. Kanda had lingered in Ellen's bed a bit too long. He wasn't sure why, but he wanted her to wake up first.

"Stop looking at me like that", Kanda hissed when Tiedoll left the room, whistling happily.

"Have you been warming your toes again?", Rabi asked cheekily and Kanda just rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't mind much, really. But why do you keep saying that there's nothing between you two? You're having an affair!"

"I am NOT having an affair you imbecile", Kanda hissed, getting himself dressed, while Rabi just showed him a face that clearly said "of course you're not".

"Then where have you been?"

"In her room", Kanda replied and heard Rabi's playful gasp.

"And what were you doing there?", he continued asking innocently.

"I've _slept_ there! But we didn't have sex you idiot!"

"Then _you're_ probably the idiot! Why not? Because she's a widow? Or maybe because she's in a relationship? Or even because you're old enough to be her father?"

"Tch, shut up before I send you flying over the railing", Kanda threatened, which didn't really impress Rabi, seeing as they were still under deck.

"I shut up if you answer my question!", Rabi told him and Kanda rolled his eyes again.

"Well fine. Fine, I tell you; I don't want to. It's not the right thing to do", Kanda said and Rabi frowned at him, clearly surprised.

"Not the right thing to do?", he asked and Kanda nodded.

"You remember the prophecy?", the black haired man wanted to know and Rabi nodded uncertainly, "Good. That is another reason. I need to make her stay with us, but not like this"

"I guess I understand…", Rabi said after a while, "but what I don't understand is, that you still spend the nights with her"

"I don't know either, maybe that's just my way of general – apprentice bonding", he said and Rabi had to laugh. Even Kanda grinned slightly.

"Well, maybe you're just not ready yet. You told me that you think she's beautiful and you do like to keep her company. Now you also seem to like being physically near to her… It's only a question of time until you might want to take it further".

"And when have you become Hebraska?", Kanda asked after he had heard Rabi's prediction.

"Ah come on. You two are bound by fate", the red-head commented, something which Kanda really didn't want to hear.

"Whatever", Kanda snorted, grabbing the door knob, "she's in a relationship, what makes you think that she would even want to sleep with me?". Rabi blinked at him.

"Huh?", he asked, "she lets you sleep in her bed, doesn't she?". Kanda frowned. True, if you didn't know that she was practically a whore who lifted the blankets of her bed for every man crossing her way, this might seem strange. Until know the Noah had only made strange, ambiguous hints in that direction. And he couldn't possibly ask her if she considered sleeping with him and what she planned by it.

"Maybe transmit some disease…?", Kanda wondered and shook his head, "that's stupid, I can't get ill anyway and she doesn't look like she could either… With that quasi-immortal body of hers…"

"Good morning Ellen!!", Rabi greeted, as they saw her in front of her door.

"You're cheerful today, dear Rabi", Ellen said with a smile and the trio walked to the breakfast room.

"Well, to tell you the truth… I ate some sweets today and somehow they went straight into my system!", he chirped and Ellen laughed.

"How can you stuff your mouth with sweet things before breakfast?", Kanda wondered with a disgusted frown.

"Well, it's better than bad breath in the morning! And it managed to wake me up", Rabi commented and skipped into the room, where Tiedoll was enjoying a coffee.

"Hello young ones! We will soon reach our destination!", he announced, making Kanda sigh in relief, even though travelling in a carriage or going by foot wasn't really any better.

"Finally! I've been running out of things to do on this ship!", Rabi commented helping himself to some toast.

"Tch. And you think that the rest of the journey will be any better?", Kanda asked him.

"Well… It will surely be fun camping outside!"

"Fun… Idiot", Kanda mumbled and shot Ellen a sideway glance. She was smiling at him, but he didn't really know what to make of it. In the end it didn't really matter. Knowing the Noah, she would be doing just fine with any situation – there truly wasn't much that could surprise her anymore.

_To be continued_

_**Notes:**_

_Kanda and Ellen are really complicated persons. But thanks to this similarity I can finally move towards something which borders on understanding between the two. There still is too much guilt and too many maybes for something like friendship or care to develop. But I think that those two might be moving into the right direction! :D_

_So what did you think of my lame attempts at semi-romance? X3_


	15. Chapter 15

**_Author's Notes:_**

_Sorry for the delay, I've hit a brick wall labeled "what the heck do you even want to write in this chapter?!". Fortunately, I've found a way around it. This chapter was initially over 8000 words long, but then I decided that this was just too much, and cut it down to about 5500. The good thing is that the next chapter is thus already half-way written._

_Well, prepare for the journey to the ruins. And I'm sorry that I give you that many "let's journey somewhere, haha, how boring" chapters. Next one will have action and mini-drama. I hope. XD_

**_Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino_**

The end of summer clouded the landscape around the harbour in a golden light. The trees were aflame with red leaves, not having yet lost any splendour to the cold of winter. It wasn't really that cold, but there was a strong wind blowing a salty smell from the sea through the village.

"We will take a carriage from this village, but we can only use the roads for half a week. Are you children able to ride on horseback? Because there is a valley we could use horses in from one village to the next before we have to go by foot", Tiedoll asked them. The small group of exorcists was standing on a road, waiting for a carriage to be readied by a stationed team of finders.

"I can", Kanda answered and Rabi frowned.

"I never tried, but it can't be that difficult, right?", he wondered and Tiedoll smiled at him.

"I also know how to ride", Ellen answered.

"Fine, then we're set! If it's too much for Rabi one of you could take him on the back", the General suggested, with a cheerful smile.

"General? The carriage is ready", a finder said and Tiedoll nodded. They followed the finder and climbed into the simple, horse drawn carriage.

While the landscape was pretty to look at, there was not much to do in the carriage and the journey passed very slowly. Once Rabi tried to start a conversation about finding a certain person, which was rewarded with a warning glare from Kanda.

"We talk about that later", the Japanese man hissed, "until then you shut up about that"

"What is the matter?", Tiedoll asked, looking up from the sketch he was drawing.

"Tch. See? It's personal", Kanda replied, looking reproachfully at the red-head.

"Well, if you say so", Tiedoll commented and went back to drawing. Ellen was looking outside of the window, studying the landscape. Kanda briefly wondered if she had ever travelled the way they did now. She still looked pretty fresh, but also quite stiff the way she was sitting upright on the uncomfortable seat. Kanda didn't know what she was thinking about, and he mostly didn't even care.

--

After riding in the carriage for about twelve hours, Tiedoll asked the finders to make a short stop at the next village.

"The road is pretty bumpy, I have to confess that my behind and my back are pretty sore", Tiedoll justified his decision. No one was complaining.

"It will probably take forever to get the stiffness out of my body!!", Rabi shouted, but he had a grin on his face. Kanda shot Ellen a glance; she had a smile on her pale face as well. She still looked fine, but she hadn't really moved from the uncomfortable position she had been in for the last twelve hours. Rabi helped Ellen out of the carriage once they had stopped. The village was pretty small, with only a few narrow houses here and there.

"Let's find ourselves an inn", Tiedoll suggested, "we shouldn't lose much time so I can only allow you to go to the toilet and get something small to eat".

"Aww… And here I had hoped to get a bit of rest in a nice bed", Rabi sighed, but walked towards the nearest inn.

"Don't you like to travel by carriage?", Kanda asked Ellen as they made their way to the inn.

"Why do you ask?", Ellen wondered with a smile.

"Never mind", Kanda snorted and walked into the inn, Ellen following. They made a short stop at the toilet, where they met Rabi again, then they ordered food.

"I was amazed that you weren't complaining during the ride", Rabi said, directed at Ellen, "but maybe I should have known, you seem pretty well behaved". The Noah had to laugh at that, "do you have some secret technique how you can endure this terrible ride better?"

"Not really, I wasn't that fond of it either", Ellen said.

"But I wonder how you girls manage to stay relatively clean and fresh compared to us guys. I'm sure I must be smelling!"

"Tch. Shut up, you idiot!", Kanda hissed, but he still shot Ellen an slightly interested look. It was true that she still looked pretty nice for having spent 12 hours in a very uncomfortable carriage. He wondered if this was because she was a Noah or because she was a woman. Kanda rejected that thought because it kind of implied that Noah and women had similar abilities, which was just ridiculous, especially if it came to smelling nice after a long time without a bath. They were served dinner and hurried eating it.

"We mustn't lose time, we have no idea what the Akuma are planning", Tiedoll said, after he had come in to make them hurry up, "it's best to be prudent and quick".

"Hn", Kanda snorted and stood up, half of his food still untouched. Rabi wailed and tried to shove the last of his meal into his mouth before following the others. They got into the carriage again, Ellen and Kanda sharing one bench, Tiedoll and Rabi the other. The older general took out his sketchbook and started drawing, while Rabi began talking about uninteresting things concerning art history.

"Aren't you tired?", Kanda asked as he saw how alert and stiff Ellen was sitting, looking out of the windows.

"No", she answered with a smile and Kanda frowned, "thank you for your concern". Kanda frowned. He wasn't concerned, it just seemed like suspicious behavior. The Noah was normally pretty calm about everything and she had been easy-going on the ship, but now? Kanda narrowed his eyes.

"What if she is hiding relevant information? What if she exactly knows what will happen? Is it a trap?", Kanda wondered and edged a bit closer to Ellen, bending down slightly, so his mouth was at her ear.

"Are you still on our side?", he whispered, expecting her to understand what he meant by it. Ellen seemed mildly surprised, but then she looked up to him and smiled.

"Don't worry. I am", she answered him and Kanda hoped that he could trust her this time.

--

They had been traveling for four days already, always in the same uncomfortable carriage. Despite this, Ellen still looked the same. As far as Kanda could tell, she never slept when they traveled in the carriage and they only rested for about two hours to give the horses time to recover before continuing. If she really slept as little as he thought she was, then she should actually be exhausted by now, but she wasn't or didn't seem to be.

"Ah, just a few hours left and then we will be able to leave the carriage behind!", Tiedoll announced as they just finished their short stop at an inn. Rabi groaned.

"Four days in the carriage and my behind is pretty sore! How can I ride on horseback with such an abused bum?", he wondered and Tiedoll had to laugh. "Hm. That is no laughing matter", the red-head muttered and entered the carriage after the older General. Kanda ignored him and climbed inside and then he turned around to look what Ellen was doing. The Noah was still outside, looking at the landscape, her eyes were… Kanda wasn't really sure. They had a very distant look in them. The general snorted.

"Oi. Come on in", he said and held out his hand to her. Ellen blinked at him in surprise and Kanda glared at her. "Give me your hand. I'll help you in", he said, which earned him a grin from Rabi. Ellen held out her hand dubiously, but Kanda took it and pulled her inside the carriage, closing the door behind her. They both sat down and Ellen looked at him.

"Thank you, how kind of you", she commented with a thin smile, but then she folded her hands in her lap and looked out again. Kanda snorted and let her be, if she wanted to be mysterious then so be it, it was not his problem after all.

"Ellen? You don't look so good, is everything alright?", Tiedoll asked after they had spend about two hours in silence. Kanda has busied himself with meditating, like he often did when Rabi chose to shut up or slept. He opened his eyes a bit and looked over at the girl. Ellen seemed pretty normal, still sitting there stiff as a pole, her lips set in a thin line. Maybe her face was a bit paler?

"What? Oh, I am fine", she replied with a small smile. Tiedoll studied her, then he nodded. He first shot Kanda a glance that he wasn't sure how to interpret, then he closed his eyes, probably dozing off like Rabi. Kanda looked at the Noah sitting next to him. No. There was nothing out of the ordinary… He looked back out of the window, where the sun was starting to set. After some minutes he noticed a movement out of the corner of his eyes and turned to look at Ellen. Her lips were still set in a thin line and she looked out of the window. But her hands… Her hands were clenching the fabric of her dress, so that her knuckles turned white.

"Hey…", he whispered, as not to wake the other two. Ellen turned her head and looked at him, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing, actually", she answered, but the smile never reached her eyes. Kanda hesitated, but then he put his hand over her two.

"Then stop ripping your dress apart", he told her and she looked down at their hands. Kanda pulled one of them, her Innocence hand, away and linked their finger.

"Yu Kanda…"

"Hands. My redeeming quality, or have you already forgotten?", he asked her and Ellen had to laugh. He wasn't really sure what he was doing and why, but it felt both awkward and nice at the same time. He tugged a bit at her hand, so that she had to bend over a little, her shoulder touching his upper arm.

"Your back must be hurting. You should sleep", he told her. She looked up at him, but then she rested her head against his shoulder.

"I can't…"

"Is there a reason why?", Kanda wanted to know and only the Noah's silence answered.

"None that needs to concern you", she replied after a while and they spend the rest of the journey in silence.

--

Rabi sighed in relief as they left the carriage for good.

"That was bad, very bad!", he said and followed Tiedoll. They seemed to be in the middle of nowhere and a little farm was the only thing Kanda could spot apart from green hills and fir trees.

"It will take us one day on horseback to get from here to the next village. As you can see there are no more roads for a carriage", Tiedoll explained and walked into the direction of the farm.

"And how long will it take us to get to the ruins?", Rabi wondered.

"We need to go further north. With the horses I'd say three days. We're nearly there", Tiedoll said, then he knocked at the door of the house and was let in.

"Man…", Rabi complained, "this journey is really taking too long. Couldn't they just build railways or pave roads?!".

"The journey is nearly over", Ellen tried to appease him, but Rabi just sighed.

"Yeah. And once we get there we will be completely exhausted!", he said and Kanda had to roll his eyes.

"Stop acting like a spoilt child! If you don't like it then you might as well stay here!", he snapped and the red-head pouted.

"I can't possibly do that! I came with you so we could keep our eyes open. You know, for certain things", Rabi said significantly. Kanda groaned and resisted the urge to punch him. Ellen didn't ask any questions, not that Kanda had expected her to, he just hoped that she hadn't already guessed. That would be quite humiliating… Tiedoll came out again not much later and they were given four horses. Rabi clearly had his troubles getting on and staying on, but he managed. Kanda had learnt horseback riding from his elder brother and Ellen, well, she seemed to be able to do anything anyway. Her impossible uniform did prove to be a bit of a hindrance, but Ellen just smiled.

"Are we all set? Then let us leave immediately", Tiedoll suggest, looking at the others. The three exorcists nodded and followed Tiedoll into the grass fields and away into the beautiful end of summer scenery.

--

By the time they made a small stop at the outskirts of a forest, Rabi was even too sore to get off the horse.

"How will I be able to fight against Akuma like this?", he wined after Tiedoll helped him down from the horse.

"I suggest that you get a good night's sleep. We will not leave before the sun rises tomorrow morning", Tiedoll said, then he looked around, "how about you two gather some wood for a fire while I give this young man a massage to ease his muscles?". Kanda just snorted, but then he turned around and stalked into the forest while Rabi let himself drop on the floor.

"Come on, w- _you_", Kanda called, stopping himself from adding the usual "witch". He couldn't call her that when the others were present. She _was_ a witch, but it would be pretty suspicious if he addressed her that way, as it could betrayed the contempt he felt for her.

"Maybe you should start to remember names…", Tiedoll chid him and Kanda snorted in annoyance. Ellen just smiled at Kanda's master and lifted her hand as a short good-bye, then she followed Kanda into the forest. She caught up to him and walked next to him, as they were slowly making their way deeper into the forest.

"Is contempt really the right word for it", Kanda wondered as he started collecting fire-wood. He looked into Ellen's direction. She was standing next to a tree, hand on its bark, not really helping. "Maybe it's more irritation. I don't… Hate her… I just don't like her", Kanda mused, then he saw how Ellen lifted her hands and with a gush of wind, wood was placed into her arms. She smiled at him and walked over to where he was standing.

"This should be enough, don't you think?", she wondered and put half of the load into Kanda's arms. He snorted in annoyance.

"Listen, you don't need to use your magic for such small things. Gathering firewood is really no hard task", Kanda told her and she smiled up at him.

"Irritation. Yes, definitely irritation", Kanda thought to himself, glaring at her innocent smile.

"Maybe not, but why shouldn't I use it?"

"Because, you idiot", Kanda snorted, "you are a human. Get that into your head", he told her, poking her forehead with a short stick. "I guess we've had this discussion before, but it would be best if you started seeing yourself as one". Ellen rubbed her forehead, where she had a small red spot now. "I'm trying my best, pull yourself together and return the favour". Ellen seemed surprised for a split second, but then she smiled.

"Well… But you are certainly aware that humans are able to perform magic as well if they have been born with it. It is actually the same with Innocence. You are born with the predisposition to be compatible with a piece of Innocence, but if you won't find it then you won't become an exorcist. People get born with the ability to use magic, but if they never are confronted with the supernatural plane, then they will not be able to perform it. And magic, Yu Kanda, comes in many different flavours", she explained and Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"Care to explain why you're telling me this?", he asked and she showed him a smile.

"Because you said that using magic is no human trait. But it is. What about your grandmother for example? She could use magic as well", she said and Kanda frowned.

"Well yes, but", he protested, but Ellen raised her hand.

"Be it foresight, the ability to read people like open books, visions or the ability to manipulate nature and humans… Magic is magic. And it is as well human as it is demonic"

"Tch. Then why use something that is demonic?", Kanda wanted to know and Ellen shrugged.

"If you insist, then I will not use it as an exorcist without your permission", she said with a small sigh. Kanda studied her.

"That's not what I meant. You don't need my permission if you think that it's beneficial. I just don't want you to use your Noah power. I want to get to know you as a human, not as a Noah or a witch. Just you for what you are", he told her, "and then I can try to re-evaluate my first impression". Ellen had to laugh at that and shook her head.

"But this is what I am. A Noah with Innocence, or an Exorcist with Noah genes", she answered, but Kanda just took a step towards her, looking down at her.

"And maybe you're just an unfortunate human", he told her and she blinked up at him.

"Why do you say that?", Ellen wondered as Kanda turned around and walked back to the edge of the forest. He stopped and looked over his shoulder at her.

"Because you can't change what you are. Do you remember the prophecy?", Kanda asked and Ellen nodded.

"How could I forget?", she asked silently and Kanda snorted.

"The part about you not being to able to choose on which side you'll fight?", he asked and Ellen nodded again, slightly curious what he was trying to say, "I think that's rubbish. Why shouldn't you be able to choose? We try to influence you, yes, but in the end it's your choice".

"Is it?", Ellen wondered and caught up to him. Kanda looked down at her.

"You've got a mind of your own after all, there must be things you wish for or things you want as well. If you want to destroy the world, then fine. I'll stop you. If you want to preserve it, then it might be the difficult road for you to walk, but I'll help you", Kanda said. Ellen didn't give him an answer, not that Kanda really had expected any. They walked back to where they were resting and saw Rabi lying on the floor, moaning slightly. Tiedoll was grinning at them, pointing at their friend.

"He's not very pain-resistant", he said and Kanda just snorted.

"Big surprise. He does better in Akuma fights, though", Kanda said and put the wood on the floor, Ellen following suite.

"Ah, fire wood!", Rabi said with a sparkling eye, taking out his Innocence, "anyone need fire?". Kanda grabbed the Innocence, taking it out of Rabi's fingers.

"Don't you dare! You'll destroy the whole forest with your carelessness!", he hissed and let the Innocence drop back into Rabi's hands. Instead of being put off, Rabi just grinned, then he turned to Ellen.

"Probably. Hey, Ellen! You learnt some basic magic from Cross, right? Can you make it burn?". Kanda snorted at the „basic magic". As far as he knew, Ellen was the greatest sorceress there was (maybe only second to the Earl, but who could claim to know the Earl's many abilities?).

"Well…", she started and looked at Kanda. He just rolled his eyes and nodded. "Yes I can, elemental magic is quite simple once you get the hang of the basics", Ellen said and sat down next to the fire wood. "It's probably very similar to how your Innocence works, Rabi". The three male exorcists saw how the wood piled up into a neat construction without Ellen even lifting a finger and then it started burning in the blink of an eye.

"Wow! That's pretty useful!", Rabi said, holding his hands out to the fire.

"Well, it will not help me destroy Akuma. It is not Innocence after all. It's pretty useless accordingly…", Ellen said and looked over at Kanda.

"Don't look at me like that. I said you could do whatever you want", he hissed at her.

"Well, we have a fire to warm ourselves and that is enough for the moment. It's best not to overexert Ellen by making her do little chores by magic", Tiedoll suggested and warmed his hands on the fire. "Well… We should get some sleep!". Nobody complained, but Kanda knew that Ellen probably wouldn't sleep this night, like all the previous nights. He would have to try and ask her, but now the long journey also took its toll on him and his eyes closed the moment he laid himself down onto the floor.

--

The horse journey was pretty uneventful and silent, expect from the one time Rabi fell asleep and dropped of the horse. The red-head decided that, once the mission was over, he would never sit in a saddle again. It was understandable that Rabi was more than glad to abandon the horses at the last village before the ruins.

"Nothing has changed", a stationed finder said, "we're still observing the vicinity. But no new Akuma have gone inside or left the ruins. We also kept the humans away form the ruins".

"Good. Let's just hope that no unforeseen things happen", Tiedoll said and patted the finder on the shoulder. "Withdraw from this region. We will deal with this problem on our own", he said and the finder nodded, leaving immediately to send note to the other finders of his team.

"Is it really that wise to send them off? We have no means of communicating with the order", Rabi said with an unsure frown. Tiedoll looked at him and nodded.

"We have to keep in mind that those Akuma in there are all level three, a finder couldn't possibly hope to survive if he faced one, let alone more than one! For the sake of not jeopardizing their lives, it's best to make them withdraw and fend for ourselves", the general explained. Rabi was not all too convinced even though he understood his point. Kanda snorted.  
"Useless…", he muttered, but it went ignored.

"Now that we have time, let me repeat that if the mission is too much for you, Ellen and Rabi, then I must insist that you leave", Tiedoll continued and looked at the scenery. Somewhere behind the hills and forest, there was a ruin a ruin that had been hidden for centuries. Kanda didn't have a hard time seeing the excited sparkle in Tiedoll's eyes, even though a battle lied ahead. Kanda knew that Tiedoll was pretty strong, even for an exorcist general, but the mission might still prove to be problematic. He was better in defence techniques, while Kanda was pretty strong on attacks. They would work well together, but Rabi and Ellen… He actually had never seen Ellen fight and Rabi had said that the Noah of Destiny was a physically rather weak Noah. But she was a Noah, that's why the whole matter made Kanda worry. He really didn't need an Akuma going up to her to have nice chat about how they should best kill the other exorcists. But Ellen had said that she was still on their side. If this was true then Ellen didn't plan to ambush them through this mission. He just hoped that this was true or all his efforts were quite in vain.

"What's the matter, Yu?", Rabi asked, as they began walking their two-day march. "You look a bit gloomy"

"Nonsense!", he spat, „and don't call me that!", he added out of habit, even though he didn't really mind it anymore, now that the red-head knew more of his past. Rabi chuckled, linking his arms behind his head.

"Okay, okay!", he said and looked at the two others that were walking some meters ahead, talking together. "Mind me asking something?"

"Don't ask about finding a certain thing", Kanda hissed at him and the green eye of Rabi sparkled amusedly.

"Why not? You know that it's best if we start looking now. You know how she looks like and you know that we could very well need her help"

"Rabi, even if we found her, how could you be sure that she wouldn't turn against us? And even if she had the Earl as her enemy, that wouldn't mean that she would side with us. You think of this as far too easy. It's not. Believe me. It's not", Kanda said and Rabi blinked at him in surprise.

"Well… If you say so…"

"And if anyone found out, what do you think they would do to us and her?", Kanda continued and Rabi couldn't help frowning. Noahs were their enemies after all, even Rabi was aware of that.

"But she helped us once. I'm sure she would do it again…", Rabi said and looked at Kanda with a convinced grin, "I'm sure of it". Kanda just studied him, then he turned his head away, looking at Ellen's back. Would she truly save them if they needed her help? Would she care enough? Destiny didn't care. And Destiny changed sides how she saw fit. Destiny couldn't be trusted.

„But", Kanda thought and saw how Ellen looked over her shoulder and noticed his stare. She smiled at him. Kanda lowered his gaze, "for now, we're allies".

--

The night before they would arrive at the valley where the ruin was situated, Kanda found Ellen sitting by the fire while the others were already sleeping.

"Oi, what are you doing here? Get some sleep!", he ordered, but Ellen just looked over her shoulder at him. Kanda snorted, and she followed with her eyes how he walked over to her and let a blanked drop on her head.

"Oh, thank you", she said as he sat down next to her, staring into the fire.

"And?", Kanda said and Ellen looked at him. The fire was throwing shadows over her pale face and sparkled in her eyes.

"I am thinking", she answered, grabbing the fabric of the blanket. Kanda snorted.

"It doesn't need a genius to figure that out", he said and Ellen laughed faintly, "what about? Are you concerned about the mission?"  
"Not really", she replied and Kanda tried to see what she supposedly was looking for in the dancing flames. Answers? Visions? Shadows of her past?

„Will you be able to deal with the level 3s without blowing your cover?", Kanda wanted to know, as this was one of his main concerns. Ellen nodded.

"The level three will know that I am a Noah… They can feel it, like you are able to feel a familiar tingling in your fingers when Inncoence is nearby, but this doesn't make me worry".

"Then what are you concerned about?", Kanda wanted to know, studying her face. Her fingers were crunching up the fabric of the blanket. "Hey". He took her hand and Ellen immediately linked their fingers, like a child that takes the hand of a parent or how a lover takes the hand of a partner. Kanda was happy with neither comparison, but still… Her hand in his felt nice. It was small compared to his and fragile.

"Human…", Kanda thought and uttered a sigh. Ellen looked up at him with a puzzled expression in her eyes.

"What's wrong with you? You've been acting strange ever since we left the ship", he stated and Ellen smiled at him.

"How observant of yu, Yu Kanda", she said with a slightly mocking tone.

"And you should have known that I would ask again. Have you formulated an answer yet?", he said, ignoring her comment. Ellen turned her head away, looking at the flames again. "Why are you so alert? Why won't you sleep? Do you expect anything to happen?"

„I'm not sure. Not on this mission… But…", she lifted her free hand and inspected it. „I feel uneasy… Maybe I've stayed away for too long…"

"What do you mean by that?", Kanda wanted to know and Ellen looked up at him.

"For over 20 years I've not transformed into my Noah self. Trust me, that is a very long time… But it wouldn't be a problem if I didn't use my Innocence either. The balance, I've told you before, is delicate…"  
"That's why you haven't been sleeping?", Kanda asked her in surprise, „in case that the Noah could take over if you weren't guarding against her?"

"Hm. I'm not sure if that is the right way to put it, Yu Kanda. But tragedies occur at night. And when we are sleeping our mind takes over our body…", she answered and looked at him. "I am not afraid, Yu Kanda, but I don't feel comfortable with it either". Kanda looked at her for a very long time, then he let go of her hand and put his arm around her shoulder. She looked up at him, as he drew her against his body, the blanket around both of them. "What are you doing?", Ellen asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I have no idea", Kanda answered, and put his chin on her head, that rested against his collarbone, then he took her hand again.

"Then we should not ask", she replied, her breath warm against his skin.

"Yes, maybe we shouldn't…", Kanda said and looked down at her. Warm and small. In these instances she seemed so different. Kanda knew that she was neither fragile nor innocent. He knew many stains on her body and he suspected she had many more hidden deep underneath her ivory skin. Had he started seeing her from a different viewpoint? Or has she changed? Maybe both. He started seeing different sides of her, sides he had ignored before. Maybe he was just deceiving himself, maybe he tricked himself in seeing other parts of her, because he forced himself to go looking for them. He searched the human inside of her. The 15 years of human life that she had led, the human girl that kept coming back to life every now and then. He kept looking for them, maybe even provoking her to behave differently by bringing up subjects Ellen rather kept silent about. They both were no longer white sheet of papers; time and fate had drawn with bold streaks, but somewhere underneath, far from all their problems and their differences, their past stories and the meddling, they were just two people that destiny had used to play with. Maybe he was being too generous right now, maybe she didn't deserve it, maybe she had wronged him too much. But right now, she was just exhausted and confused. And he was here. Not Mana Walker and not the Noah lover. He, who had decided to reason with her, instead of trying to win her heart.

"You should sleep. We need you tomorrow", Kanda suggested and Ellen raised her eyes to look at him from underneath her white hair. "I'll wake you if anything happens".

"It's been a long time since anyone watched over me while I slept", Ellen said with a smile and Kanda didn't know how honest she was being.

"Tch. Don't let it get to your head", he warned and Ellen chuckled.

"I won't", she assured him, then she dared to close her eyes and once she did Kanda really saw how exhausted she seemed. The flames of the fire dimmed the moment her breathing indicated that she was sleeping.

"No… You won't…"

_To be continued_

_**Notes:**_

_Things are getting confusing between those two. **lol**_

_Next chapter, we'll finally get a glimpse at the ruins!_

_I'd be nice to hear your thoughts! Pseudo-Romance too rushed all of a sudden? Not as much as you'd hope? More Tyki? (- **lol**) Anything, I'd be happy to hear it. :3 _


	16. Chapter 16

_**Author's Notes: **_

_And this chapter marks the end of the Scandinavia mission. The whole thing took me longer to do, because 1) there are fighting scenes which I'm terrible at and 2) the second part just didn't turn out the way I wanted it to… I hope you can still enjoy it._

_**Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**_

* * *

The entry to the ruins was a very unspectacular hole in a small grass hill.

"It probably hadn't be hidden in the past, but as time passed nature claimed the ruins…", Tiedoll suggested.

"Whatever. How should we proceed?", Kanda wanted to know from Tiedoll, who was now inspecting the entrance without getting too close, just in case that might alarm the Akuma hidden inside the cave. "Won't the Akuma know that we're here?"

"The will probably notice us soon enough. We don't know where they are and we need to be careful… The main priority of today is to find out what is going on. If there is Innocence we will try to get our hands on it. If we can't then we abandon the mission. It's mostly information gathering this time…", Tiedoll replied. Kanda wasn't sure if he should be relieved or angry.

"Tch. A finder's work…", he muttered.

"Let's go in. And keep your eyes open. We don't know if there are guards stationed", the general continued after some time.

"General Froi Tiedoll", Ellen said and the others turned to her. The gear like monocle was hovering in front of her left eye, "My eye allows me to detect Akuma. Please rely on me for this. I will alert you", she said.

"Oh. How useful!", Rabi exclaimed and twirled his hammer between his fingers.

"Indeed. Is that a curse?", Tiedoll wondered and Ellen nodded, „fine. We will leave that to you".

"So what do you see?", Kanda wondered and followed Tiedoll to the entrance.

"There are a lot… Too many to count. I would guess about 100, all of them level three", Ellen said, „but they are further inside".

"That's quite a number. Can we take them down?", Rabi wondered and Kanda snorted.

"Of course", he answered but Rabi didn't seem particularly convinced by that. They walked into the narrow corridor. The light from outside showed that they were walking on a floor paved with stone and that the walls were made of wood, with symbols carved into the surface.

"I wish we had more time to investigate these ruins", Tiedoll said with a sigh, tearing his eyes away from the symbols and pictures.

"Can't we do anything about the light?", Rabi wondered as the corridor was getting darker. Kanda turned to Ellen and nodded at her. She smiled and lifted her hands. Sparkling balls of light appeared next to them, like gigantic fireflies.

"Can we assume that the Akuma gather where the Innocence, if there is any, is to be found?", Kanda wondered and Tiedoll nodded, still mesmerized by the light spectacle.

"I guess that would make sense. Maybe they are just not able to touch the Innocence yet", the man said.

"And we can?", Rabi wondered, touching one of the lights with his finger.

"We mostly can…", Kanda replied with a snort, "any Akuma approaching?"

"No, they have not noticed us yet", Ellen replied, "but we are getting nearer to the first few Akuma". They left the corridor and arrived at a door. Huge wooden pillars stood next to the wooden door.

"This looks like an old church or place of worship", Tiedoll said, inspecting the pillars, "maybe the Innocence is in here?"

"No, that's not very likely", Ellen replied, "there are no Akuma past this door, they are further down"

"How big are these ruins anyway?", Rabi wondered, rubbing his arms, "it's pretty cold in here".

"As far as I can tell, the ruins are quite huge", Ellen replied, looking at Rabi, "and it will take us some more time to reach the centre". The red-head sighed, probably not having a good feeling about the whole mission, even though he had insisted on joining them. Kanda and Tiedoll pushed at the door and it opened with a loud creak that sent a shiver down Rabi's spine.

"Perfect! I'm sure everyone heard that!", he hissed and earned himself a glare from Kanda.

"Well we can't just walk _through_ closed doors, can we!", he snorted, "we need to open them first". They entered the dark room and Ellen lifted her hand so that one of the lights flew up to the ceiling. They were indeed in a building that closely resembled an Old Norse church with its big wooden pillars. It was empty, but judging from the many small tables at the wall there must have been figurines and statues before. Right at the opposite wall was another door.

"I think that the real ruins start once we pass that door", Tiedoll said and they made their way to the door.

"And that's where the first Akuma is", Ellen told him and then she covered her eye with her hand.

"Ellen? What's the matter?", Rabi asked, looking at her. The Noah lowered her hand and smiled at him.

"Nothing to worry about. If there are too many Akuma my eye reacts too strongly", she replied. Rabi nodded and then he turned towards Tiedoll.

"What should we do now?"

„Well, it would be best if we could just pass them without causing too much of a ruckus", the General answered.

"Well, I can make you invisible to the Akuma", Ellen said after a while and then she looked up at Kanda, who just wore a puzzled expression.

"You can? Well, that would be an advantage", Tiedoll said. Ellen nodded and then she lifted her hand. The floor around them glowed and then a barrier of light closed over them, leaving Ellen out. Kanda looked at her in surprise. This was nearly the same technique as his pervious master had applied!

"What about you, Ellen?", Rabi asked in confusion. The girl just lifted her finger to her mouth and then she looked at Kanda. A sudden pain flashed through Kanda's head and he put his hand up to his forehead.

"Yu?", Rabi asked in concern, but the General ignored him.

"_I will talk to the Akuma in the next room. Stay silent_", he heard a voice whisper in his head and a look in Ellen's face assured him that it was indeed her talking to him. Ellen walked on ahead and pushed the door open with a loud creak.

"What is she doing?! She'll get herself killed!!", Rabi shouted, but Kanda pressed his hand to the red-head's mouth.

"Shht. Keep quiet. Let's follow her", Kanda whispered, „stay close together, don't leave the barrier". Tiedoll and Rabi didn't ask any questions and followed Ellen through the door. Behind the gates, was a huge, dark hall. The ceiling had pictures carved into its smooth stone. There were a lot of pillars lining the length of the hall and they could make out a dark shape lingering in the shadows. Ellen was standing in the middle of one of the aisles leading to the next door. "She'll use magic", Kanda said for the lack of a better explanation.

"She can use magic on an Akuma?", Tiedoll whispered and Kanda nodded.

"Temporarily, I don't know what she'll make it believe that it sees…"

"So she'll manipulate its senses…", Rabi whispered in awe, "pretty useful". Kanda still had a numb headache, but he could clearly hear what Ellen and the Akuma were saying.

"Ah, Mistress Noah", the Akuma said with glee in his voice, "we didn't expect to see you here"

"Neither did I expect to find you in these ruins. I have travelled the lands and suddenly I felt your presence", she said with a calm and cold tone, "my eye was irritated. What are you doing here? Are you acting on the Earl of Millennium's orders?". The Akuma seemed to chuckle, it was hard to tell, and then he put his hand on Ellen's shoulder. A flash of pain soared through Kanda's head once again and he hissed.

"W… What's wrong, Yu?", Rabi asked in confusion when he saw the general lower his head.

"Hn. I'm not sure", he answered truthfully and looked over at Ellen. If she knew that anything was happening she didn't show it.

"Dear Mistress Noah…", the Akuma spoke in a oily voice, "We've been sent here".

"I see. You sparked my interest. Show me around", Ellen ordered him and the Akuma grinned.

"It would be my pleasure, Mistress Noah", he lifted his hand, like a good servant, "this way please".

"_Follow"_, Kanda could hear Ellen say, _"don't leave the barrier. You know what will happen if you do"._ The general made a motion with his hand and started walking, the other two following closely, careful as not to leave the barrier.

"She is courageous. I wouldn't have thought it", Rabi whispered, but Kanda only heard him like through a wall of fog.

"What's happening? That's not the first time I've been confronted with that many Akuma since Cross made the seal. Could it be…", Kanda wondered and saw how Ellen risked a glimpse back, the Akuma's hand still on her shoulder, leading her deeper inside the ruin, "that the seal is breaking?"

"_I hope for you that it i__s not, Yu Kanda. This would be very bad timing"_, Kanda could Ellen hear in his head and he squeezed his eyes shut to block out the pain, but it didn't really work. He remembered the time back in the Capital. It has been different back then, full of sounds and cries and machines. It had been intoxicating and demanding and unbearable. This here was painful, like a worsening headache, but it was nothing like back then. Kanda still could hope that he was just surprised by a headache, only that he normally couldn't get sick – and this included simple things such as nausea or headaches. Something was wrong, Kanda knew. The room opened up and there it was – the buzz and humming and clinking of hundreds of metallic gears. Ellen pressed her hands to her face, which didn't go unnoticed by the Akuma.

"Is anything the matter Mistress Noah?", he wondered, but Ellen just shook her head and looked up, hand still covering her left eye. Kanda forced himself to continue walking until they reached the new room. It was a huge cave underneath the earth. It actually looked like an abandoned marketplace with a churchlike building in the middle and wooden houses lining the decorated stone walls. The streets were filled with level 3 Akuma as if they inhabited the place.

"Well…", Rabi gulped, "not as much as in Tokyo but yeah. Let's grab the Innocence and be gone", he said.

"What are you doing here?", Ellen wanted to know and the Akuma grinned, others approaching her as well. Ellen held out her hands to them and the Akuma touched her as if she was a queen or a saint, delicately and in awe, even though they still had a malicious gleam in their eyes. Kanda asked himself what exactly was going on between Akuma and Noah.

"Guarding and watching", the Akuma answered Ellen's question, raising his hand, showing the whole hall, "we don't know what, but we do as we are told. Orders, Mistress Noah!", he answered loudly and Kanda could see Rabi frown.

"Mistress Noah?", he wondered, "what does he mean by that?". Kanda wanted to reply, but when he turned towards Rabi, he could see an Akuma standing just behind them. It probably couldn't see them, but Rabi gave out a startled cry, stepping out of the barrier with one foot. Consequently the Akuma grabbed his leg and dragged him out of safety.

"I thought I heard something!!", the armoured Akuma shrieked and Ellen whirled around, widening her eyes but just for a split second.

"Oh, Mistress Noah, you have been followed", the Akuma said, stepping in front of Ellen, keeping his hand on her, "you dirty vermin!", he snapped at Rabi, but Kanda could hear unrestrained joy in the harsh tone. The red-head tried to free himself of the Akuma's grasp and was painfully aware how hundreds of eyes were all focused on him. "How dare you follow our Mistress!! Kill him!". Rabi widened his eyes and managed to free himself.

„We have to intervene!", Tiedoll shouted, but Kanda stopped him.

"There is not enough room for you to attack!", he said and drew Mugen, "let me deal with them!". Ignoring the pain and the noise in his head as best as he could, he stepped out of the barrier and slew the Akuma in the vicinity.

"Ha!", the Akuma next to Ellen exclaimed, "what do we have here! That is a General! We are lucky! Lucky indeed!".

„You idiot!", Kanda shouted at Rabi, „you should have stayed at home!"

"Sorry Yu…", Rabi said, pushing his headband up and invocating his hammer, "seems that we're in a pinch, right?".

"Damn right", Kanda growled and started attacking the Akuma.

"A spectacle!", the Akuma exclaimed and looked down at Ellen, who didn't even move.

"Indeed", Ellen said in a cold tone, watching the two exorcists fight. Kanda wondered why she wasn't intervening. Was this really a trap? Had she betrayed them? He couldn't believe it! She was standing there in her exorcist dress, looking every bit like the human girl she once had been, but the expression on her face was uninterested, like made of marble.

"Yu! Are you dreaming?!", Rabi shouted and shoved Kanda out of the way, before an Akuma could actually hit him.

"Tch!", Kanda exclaimed, gripping Mugen in both of his hands. He shouldn't care about that now! It was fight or let Rabi die. After a few minutes he saw that it was going bad for Rabi, there were too many of them and he was not even strong enough yet to take on an Akuma of the third level without going all out. The red-head was caught by an Akuma and smashed into a building, where another Akuma landed a hit right into his stomach. The younger exorcist was bleeding and gasping, and then he lost consciousness.

"Rabi!!", Kanda shouted and destroyed the Akuma, kneeling down to pick the younger one up. He was badly injured. What should he do?! But he didn't need to think long because suddenly a burst of electricity shot through Kanda and he turned his head into the direction Ellen was standing. The Noah raised her left hand and took off her glove.

"Innocence", she called and Kanda widened his eyes, "activation!".

The hand formed a thin, silver claw with long nails and a cape with fur on its luxurious hood covered her shoulders and flew in the wind the invocation caused to whirl around her. A mask, silver and sparkling, appeared over Ellen's eyes. She looked… Like a white Akuma, dangerous and demonic but breathtakingly beautiful. It took her barely a move to slice the Akuma around her. Kanda stared at her and watched her run to his side.

"Well. Let us finish this", she said with a smile on her lips and Kanda could see the sparkle of her pale eyes through the slits in her mask. She lifted one of her claws to her mouth and continued smiling, "As exorcists". The next moment she was gone and he just saw flashes of light and exploding Akuma.

"How… Is she able to kill them so easily?!", Kanda wondered with amazement, "she is a lot stronger than I expected!".

"There are too many", Ellen said once she returned to Kanda's side. "We'll have to abandon this place".

"But what about the thing they were guarding?! Let's finish this and go get it! We shouldn't let any Akuma survive!"

"Don't think about me! Didn't you tell me?! Froi Tiedoll and Rabi's life may not be endangered!", Ellen told him strictly, lifting her cape to shield them against an Akuma's attack, "Rabi is badly injured, if we stay here he will not survive".

"Ellen is right!", Tiedoll said, stepping out of the barrier. "We have to get out of here! Remember that we are in a secluded area!". He took Rabi out of Kanda's arms and looked him over. "This is bad"

"Damn it!", Kanda cursed and killed an Akuma that dared to come too close, „how cam we possibly make it?!". Ellen turned her head and looked at him and for a moment all around them and even inside Kanda's head was silence. But then the Noah turned her head away and raised both of her hands. "One last attack, then we'll be gone!". Kanda could feel power gathering inside Ellen and she unleashed it with a loud bang and blinding light. Then she turned around and lifted both of her hands once again, outstretching them in front of her. Kanda could see how a white door materialized itself out of nowhere. Tiedoll just stared at it, but then Ellen opened the door.

"Please, go inside", she urged them and Tiedoll just stepped inside without wasting any thought on it. Kanda risked another look at the ruin. He could see smouldering Akuma bodies everywhere. Did she manage to kill all of them? It did seem to him as if he had seen a shadow somewhere, hidden in the darkness of the houses. He ignored the thought because now his headache was getting weaker, and turned towards Ellen.

"You… You dare too much", he told her and Ellen laughed faintly, „what if the two know now what you are? And what if an Akuma survived and will tell the Earl what you have become?". Ellen just shook her head.

"We will see…", she said, "now hurry". Ellen entered the Ark and Kanda, one last glance at the ruin, followed.

--

They were in the piano room again once Kanda entered. Tiedoll was standing in the middle, inspecting his new surroundings, while holding on to the still unconscious Rabi.

"General Froi Tiedoll", Ellen said, stopping her invocation at once. Kanda saw how she trembled a bit on her thin legs, but she still made her way over to the older general, "put Rabi on the couch".

"Where are we?", Tiedoll wondered, but still did what he was told. Ellen kneeled down instantly, opening Rabi's jacket and checking his pulse.

"This has to wait for later, do not leave this room", Ellen said and chairs materialized next to the piano. Kanda, being used to this situation, just sat down, Tiedoll doing the same after a while.  
"Oi, shouldn't we just take him to the infirmary?", Kanda asked, standing up after some time to walk over to the couch. Rabi's blood was staining the white couch and dripped to the floor.

"Yes", she said and put her fingertips on Rabi's forehead. His laboured breathing calmed down, "let me do something about his injuries first". Kanda just watched her standing there, hand on Rabi's face. After a while she just turned around and raised her hand, pointing at the wall. A door appeared and Kanda recognized it as the doors leading into the infirmary. "Let us go". Tiedoll stood up, not really sure what was going on, but ready to help wherever he could. He picked Rabi up and walked up to the door. Kanda opened it and once they left, they were greeted by the familiar sight of the infirmary. The matron turned towards them.

"Get a bed ready!", she shouted without even asking what had happened. The other nurses reacted instantly and Rabi was transferred on a free bed.

"What happened?", Hanako asked Kanda, "are you hurt?"

"No. That idiot wasn't paying attention", Kanda snorted, but couldn't help being slightly concerned.

"There are no life-threatening injuries that I can detect", the matron said after a while, "he will make it".

"How good to hear", Tiedoll said, then he turned around, putting his hand on Kanda's shoulder. "I will not ask about this", he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked first at Kanda and then at Ellen, "I think it's best if I don't know".

"Yes. Thank you General", Kanda said stiffly. Tiedoll nodded and then he left the infirmary, probably to report.

"How did the mission go?", Hanako wondered, seeing how tense her brother was.

"We had to abandon it", Kanda said, looking over at Rabi. The woman followed his gaze and sighed.

"I am impressed how he managed to survive this long… It must have taken you several days to get back here", Hanako stated and Kanda frowned.

"We were lucky", he replied.

"But-"

"Oi, we leave. There is nothing to do here", he snapped, directed at Ellen. The Noah nodded and shot Hanako an apologetic smile, then she followed Kanda out of the infirmary. "Let's-", he started but was interrupted by a faint thud. He turned around and saw how Ellen had collapsed onto the floor. "Hey!", he shouted loud enough to get Hanako to reopen the door.

"What happened?", she asked and then she saw Ellen lying at the ground, "Ellen!". Hanako called a finder, that was just leaving the infirmary and he helped to pick up the girl and take her to an unoccupied bed as well. "Was she injured as well?"

"No", Kanda said, frowning. He remembered how she had trembled, but there had been nothing wrong with her. At least as far as he could tell. The matron, just finishing with Rabi, turned around and patted the woman's pale cheeks. Ellen's eyes fluttered open, but just for a short time. Long enough to make the head-nurse heave a sigh.

"What's wrong with her?", Kanda wanted to know, standing at the foot of the bed.

"Everything's alright", the older woman said, starting to get the girl undressed, "now turn around while I'm doing this, will you!". Kanda rolled his eyes and turned around to face the door, arms crossed over his chest. Well it's not as if he wanted to see her naked! Kanda snorted once he realised how infantile that thought had been. "She's a parasite type. We'll just get her some food and everything will be fine again". The matron said and Kanda looked over his shoulder seeing how they had peeled the uniform off Ellen's body, dressing her in the infirmary's nightgown. The matron looked up at him. "Now, if you are peeking, General, then make yourself useful and bring her to her room". Kanda wanted to protest but the matron's glare was pretty intimidating, even for him. So he just walked over to Ellen's bed and pushed his arms under her, lifting her up with ease. "Hanako dear, tell the chef to bring a big meal up to her room. Something with substance and sugar would be good as well". Kanda, the girl in his arms turned around and saw a small bag lying on the night table.

"Oi, Hanako. Get me that", he commanded and his sister looked up at him in confusion. She picked up the small bag and put it on Ellen's chest. Kanda nodded his thanks then he turned around. "Take care of the idiot. Send him up once he wakes up".

"Okay", the black haired woman said with a puzzled frown. Kanda stomped out of the room, the knocked-out Noah in his arms. It was quite a bother to climb all those stairs with her, especially as people kept inquiring if she was fine. Kanda opened the door of their room and kicked it shut behind him. He walked over to the bed and let her drop onto it, not as nicely as he could have done. Ellen's eyes snapped open and she tried to sit up, only to have Kanda put his hand to her forehead and push her right back into the covers.

"What is going on?", she asked, "I feel drained…"

"Big surprise. Didn't you know that Parasitic types use up a lot of energy when fighting while invocated? You need food".

"Food?", Ellen asked in barely concealed surprise. Kanda frowned at her.

"This cannot be the first time this has happened. You were damn strong and experienced out there. You must have invocated before, accordingly, this must have happened before".

"I compensated it with sleep and not food… And to be honest", she sighed, looking to the side, her fingers interlaced on top of her chest, "this was the first time I activated my Innocence like that". Kanda frowned down at her, hand on the bedpost.

"That can't be. You were far too strong!"

"A parasitic type", Ellen started, "as I have been told by Marian Cross, stands in close connection to the body of its host. Even if it lies dormant for a long time, once activated it tells the brain what to do and you move accordingly. You don't have to learn anything. The Innocence feeds off your body, but it gives you its nearly undiluted strength when it is needed. That is what it means to be a parasitic type…". Kanda thought this trough. It did seem convenient, but he also knew the consequences this rare type brought. "Besides", the Noah started again and Kanda looked at her face, "the Innocence had over 50 years to adapt to my body. Over time it changed, maturing with me, probably trying to keep its balance with my Noah genes… I do not know what battles are being fought inside of me, but it does have consequences". Kanda decided to sit down on the bed, studying her.

"Does your activation have consequences as well?"

"I'm sure that it does… Every action demands a response just like a stone thrown into water must make ripples on the surface. I don't know yet what exactly lies ahead of me now. But the Noah in me will try to re-establish the balance or to overthrow the Innocence".

"Well, not if I can help it", Kanda muttered and earned himself a smile from Ellen.

"Thank you for your concern", the Noah answered and Kanda rolled his eyes in irritation. Not much later there was a knock on Kanda's door and a few chefs came in with food. A lot of food to be exact. Kanda told them to put the trolley table next to their bed and asked them to leave. Ellen eyed the food with a bit of reserve shining in her eyes. First of all he took the small bag from the night table and handed it to Ellen.

"Here, take some sugar first...", he said and the Noah fished out a pink ball, putting it into her mouth. Kanda had only seen the Noah eat like a bird, to imagine her devouring this mountain of food didn't only make her feel kind of queasy. Ellen sat up in bed after a while and Kanda handed her a random bowl with soup. "Don't look at me like that, just eat". Ellen took the offered food with hesitation, but then she started eating, slowly, but continuously. Kanda just watched her eat, silently handing her something new whenever she finished the last dish.

"I'm kind of amazed how much goes into such a small body. I wouldn't be surprised if you got stomach trouble…", Kanda commented when Ellen was eating her dessert. She looked up at him, annoyance in her eyes.

"I will not get stomach trouble", she said with indignation obvious in her voice. Kanda grinned at her.

"Tch. Well, maybe you'll grow a bit if you eat more. You're pretty short for a 55 year old lady", Kanda said with a smirk. Ellen frowned up at him. „You're just a beansprout"

„Beansprout?!". Ah, apparently he hit her weak spot.

„Well, I think it would be more convenient to call you that than _witch_. It's still a fitting title", Kanda justified his decision, still with a smirk on his handsome face. Ellen glared at him, but then she smiled.

"If that is the reason for this pet name, then you could have thought of something nicer. I've heard many names for me, but beansprout…", she laughed, "it does not fit me".

"Sure as hell it does and now stop complaining!", Kanda argued, taking the empty plate out of Ellen's hands.

"Why do you even need to address me that way? You know how I'm called", she said. Kanda turned towards her and snorted, still putting the empty plates on the trolley table.

"Hn. I refuse to call you that", he said and Ellen narrowed her eyes, without seeming angry.

"Oh, is that so. And is there a particular reason to that, Yu Kanda?"

"Maybe I'd tell you if you stopped calling me that!", he spat and Ellen lifted one corner of her lips, looking pretty boyish as she did it. Maybe he should have called her "brat" but as she was older than him it might backfire at him.

"This is my way of addressing people", Ellen answered.

"Yeah, because you want to stay impersonal with them. You don't risk sounding impolite, too stiff or even intimate"

"I am amazed of how keen you are on analyzing me", the Noah said with a smile, which annoyed Kanda to no end. He just put his hand to her forehead and pushed her back into the cushion.

"Shut up, beansprout!", he barked then he put the trolley outside, so that someone responsible for cleaning could pick it up. When he turned back to Ellen, he saw her chuckling slightly. "What's so funny?", he inquired.

"To tell you to truth, this was the first time I bickered with someone for what seems like an eternity", she replied, sitting back up in bed. Kanda frowned, but took his seat next to the bed.

"Is that so", he said and Ellen nodded.

"I've been in fights a lot of time when I was still small. But I've never argued with Mana, the other Noah or the Earl of Millennium… Maybe we've been of other opinions, but it still wasn't the same. The other Noah bicker as well, quite often to tell you the truth… But I was never involved".

"And this tells you what?", Kanda asked and Ellen looked at him, „you don't want me to analyze you, right? Do it yourself". The Noah laughed in amusement.

"It's something I used to do when I was still human… I don't feel human when I'm with my family…"

"Well… I want you to realize that you are human. Maybe this is my first little achievement", Kanda said with a grin and Ellen laughed.

"Maybe…", she said and then her faced changed into a somewhat melancholic expression, even though she continued smiling. "But I'm not sure if I want to be human again…". Kanda looked at her and stayed silent.

"You should better pay attention to your surroundings when you're having this kind of talk…", a voice said and Kanda and Ellen turned their heads. Rabi was standing in the door, closing it after him. He had his arm in a sling and his head was bandaged as well, "just in case someone sneaks in".

_To be continued  
_

**Notes:**

_I can't think of anything witty to say… XD Except that I keep on forgetting Timcampy's existence… __**lol**_

_Feedback would be very nice! :3_


	17. Chapter 17

**_Author's Notes:_**

_Noah of Destiny chapters often take me long to write… I apologize! Anyway, here's chapter 17! :3_

**_Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino!_**

* * *

Ellen and Kanda looked at the intruder with surprise. Ellen masked it pretty easily, eyeing the red-head with interest, but Kanda was everything else than calm about the whole situation. He glared at Rabi, got up from his seat and approached him with heavy strides. Rabi remained pretty calm as well, that is until Kanda slammed his hand flatly against the door just next to Rabi's head.

"You", he breathed dangerously, staring at the red-head. Said young man just raised his free hand, already losing his composure.

"Don't threaten an injured person!", he said and Kanda snorted, taking his hand away, "I've been told to come here".

"You could have knocked", Kanda hissed, still keeping a close look on Rabi while turning the key. Rabi noticed this with a doubtful look, then he turned back towards Kanda, a half grin on his face.

"The door wasn't closed properly!", Rabi argued, "you should have made sure to take precautions, Yu! Don't blame me!".

"I would have, but she started laughing for some silly reason!", Kanda hissed and pointed at Ellen. Rabi looked past his friend and saw the Noah sit in the white bed, playing with her fingers almost nervously, even though she looked down at her hands with a calm expression. Kanda was aware of the analysing and careful look Rabi was giving the Noah and he snorted. He left Rabi, what didn't go unnoticed by the younger man, and walked over to their bed, sitting down on the mattress.

"Stop that", Kanda said almost gently and put his hands over Ellen's, "you expected this, right? Stop being such a worry-wart". Ellen didn't say anything and Rabi, who had just looked at the scene with a calm expression, now walked up to the bed, sitting down on the chair next to the bed. "How are your injuries, idiot?".

"Thank you for your concern", Rabi said almost sarcastically, but then he grinned, "I'm fine though. I got patched up pretty well!".

"Good for you. You almost died though with your carelessness!", Kanda reprimanded him. Rabi scratched his head.

"Yes… I'm sorry about that… The mission failed because of me… Is that the reason why you wanted me to come to your room?", he wondered. Kanda sighed and shook his head.

"No. It's because I thought that it would be best to discuss with you... But you idiot just had to sneak in before I could gather my thoughts and talk it through!"

"Talk it through? With her?", Rabi asked, risking a glance at Ellen. The girl was still looking down at her hands and Kanda found that behaviour rather strange. He withdrew his hands from hers and nodded.

"I didn't know how much you realized by yourself _before_ you decided to go eavesdropping. And I'm not sure how much you know now", Kanda said and glared at Rabi, "but I thought it best to first discuss it with her".

"I didn't hear that much… But I guess I just picked up the most crucial part… And then it was not difficult to put two and two together…"

"Hm. Maybe we should go into the piano room to discuss", Kanda suggested and Ellen nodded. Rabi frowned as Kanda got up and walked over to another door in the wall. Ellen slowly threw back to covers and put her feet over the edge of the bed.

"I… Is it really alright for her to get out of bed?", Rabi wondered and Kanda could see how he stood next to the bed uncertainly.

"Yes… I feel better now", Ellen replied and smiled at Rabi, then she walked over to Kanda. He bent down to whisper to her:

"Should we openly talk to him?", he wondered and Ellen nodded.

"He is a Bookman", she replied and Kanda opened the door for her. She went inside and Kanda looked at Rabi.

"Oi, idiot! Hurry up", he called over to Rabi, who still was standing next to the bed, unsure of what to do right now. He stirred as Kanda called him and nodded. The black haired man snorted, then he went inside the ark, sure that Rabi would follow them. Kanda watched Rabi's every move warily. The red-head was looking around the piano room in awe, not being able to remember that he had been in here not too long ago.

"Take a seat", Ellen suggested after she had sat down on the low chair in front of the piano. Two white armchairs appeared out of nowhere. Everything was white again, not one drop of Rabi's blood was staining this room. Kanda sat down and Rabi did the same after he had finished inspecting his surroundings.

"Good…", the black haired general said and looked at Rabi who took this as his cue to start talking.

"So you're Destiny", he exclaimed and Ellen did seem surprised to hear him say that.

"I am the Noah of Destiny, this is correct", she replied and turned to look at Kanda, who just rolled his eyes.  
"You're here as a Bookman and not as an exorcist; what we talk about may not leak to the order. Have I made myself clear?", he asked with a stern face and Rabi nodded.

"Yes. Understood", he said, but then the young man looked at Ellen, "I had no clue that you were a Noah! Right under our noses!". Ellen smiled and Rabi turned towards Kanda, "how long have you known this?"

"Before I decided to bring her into the order", Kanda replied.

"So you've deceived me! I made a fool out of myself trying to find her! You could at least have discouraged me!", Rabi complained and Kanda snorted in annoyance.

"It's impossible to discourage you", he muttered, "aren't you surprised or outraged or anything of that sort?"

"Well… I am surprised… especially since Ellen doesn't seem like a Noah! Not at all!", Rabi said and studied the girl, „I am a bit frightened that's true… But as I've concluded; Destiny might be on our side now, at least we seem to have the same enemy".

"Hn…", Kanda commented but he was somewhat relieved that Rabi didn't have a sudden panic attack or something similar to it.

"You were trying to find me?", Ellen asked and Rabi scratched the back of his head, grinning sheepishly.

"Kind of… I was having a look at various documents to get some information about the Noah clan", he explained, leaving out the fact that Kanda had asked him to do it, "And there I found out some things about you and I concluded that you might as well be on our side even though you refused to join our ranks in the past". He grinned at Ellen, "but you did now! And this is a good sign, right?". Ellen just smiled and Rabi continued, this time a bit more seriously. "May I ask you some questions?"

"Of course", Ellen replied with a polite smile and Kanda saw none of the previous nervousness left in her. She was professional, just like Rabi who had quickly changed into his analytical Bookman self.

"I have a source that tells me that you have once been asked to turn your back on the Earl but you refused. What reasons did you have to join us now?".

"Victory should be graspable to both sides", she replied and Kanda remembered that he had heard that justification before – actually he had _read_ it before, in Cross' letter! Rabi seemed to recall that as well because he smiled.

"I am aware of this reason, it was also given in my source. But it was written that you had another reason, a reason the writer of the source seemed to be able to trust in", he said and Kanda studied Ellen.

"I'm sure that it's because of the fourteenth… Because of her husband Mana Walker… The Earl's mistake made her turn against him…", Kanda mused, but then he frowned, "but that was 25 years ago and she refused then… What else could there be?". Ellen didn't really seem comfortable with this question either. Her face was completely calm and she was smiling politely, but she was picking at her dress again.

"It is connected to the fourteenth?", Rabi asked and Ellen widened her eyes, unable to contain her surprise to hear the young Bookman speak that name.

"How do you know of this?", she asked and Rabi lowered his eyes, probably feeling guilty to have brought it up even though he didn't know why he should feel like this.

"Well… We Bookmen know about the Noah, and we also know some things about Fourteenth… And that he was killed by the Earl… You seem to favour his cause and that's why I concluded that your change of heart must be connected to him in one way or the other". Ellen remained silent, but after a while she turned to Kanda.

"You knew about this…", she said silently but without a graspable emotion in her voice, "that is why you asked".  
"Yes. Rabi helped me get a few answers", he answered and was a bit unnerved that Ellen's smile – not even her fake, polite one – did not return to her lips. "I didn't tell him anything about you". Ellen didn't reply to him, but turned towards Rabi.

"The betrayal of the fourteenth affected all Noahs of that time, me included. When he was still alive I have been indifferent about his goals and his plans to kill the Earl in order to succeed. His powers were transferred to me when he died and he might have wished for me to continue what he had started. However, I had no reason to join the Black Order and to make the same mistake as he did", she answered.

"But you kept doing things in our favour in secret? Like teaching people magic and giving Yu the Lotus Charm", Rabi spoke up, thinking and connecting things in his head while listening to her talk.

"This is correct. I never planned to oppose the Earl. It is not in my nature to do things in such an overt way"

"Because your special ability is manipulation", Rabi stated and Ellen nodded.

"Correct", she replied and Kanda was feeling uneasy about how this had turned into an interrogation between a Bookman and a Noah.

"25 years ago you were not willing to join us, but 20 years ago you did seem to go against the Earl because you performed such a strong magic spell on an exorcist. You must have been fully aware that it would make Yu strong enough to kill Noahs and turn him into a threat to the Earl. What exactly was it that caused you to make this choice for our side? What happened after the Fourteenth's death?". Kanda turned away from Rabi who was constantly voicing new questions, to look at Ellen. She was pale and looked at her hands. Kanda stood up abruptly and took a step forward,

"Enough already", he hissed and Rabi blinked up at him in surprise. The General snorted and Rabi lowered his head, „Right now she's not a Noah – she's our ally"

"I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so personal… I got carried away…", he said and looked at Ellen. She just shook her head and smiled at him, but didn't say anything.

"I agree that there is a lot to speak about, but not all at once", Kanda continued, "We will continue this later". Rabi nodded and got up, forcing a grin on his face.

"Great! Then I'll leave you two now. I'm a bit hungry! See you later!", he said and left the piano room. Kanda snorted in annoyance, but then he turned towards Ellen.

"I was a bit surprised to hear him ask so many things…", she whispered before he could say anything. He was glad that she started it because he didn't know what to say to her. "Thank you"

"Tch. Well, I don't think you need to worry that much. Rabi is too curious for his own good. And he probably sees this as a big chance, you don't always get to talk to a Noah this freely… Anyway, you don't need to reply to his questions", he replied and sat back down. Ellen looked down at her hands and both of them were engulfed in uncomfortable silence. After a while Kanda sighed, "I'm sorry that I was trying to get information behind your back", he said. Ellen laughed and shook her head.

"I understand. I am not one to give out information about what I'm doing… I understand that you tried to learn more about the Lotus Charm because it directly affects you… I doesn't surprise me either that you tried to gather information about me, because it's always good to know who you're dealing with… Ally or foe", she said, and then she lifted her hand to massage her forehead, "I just didn't expect you to know about the Fourteenth". Kanda looked at her and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair with a sigh. The situation was quite difficult, Kanda wasn't sure how he should deal with it.

"I understand that you don't want to talk about painful memories… Your husband meant a lot to you…", he said after a long time, pulling himself together to sound understanding. Ellen kept quiet, but then she laughed with a pained expression, looking up at the white ceiling.

"Did he really?", she wondered and Kanda raised an eyebrow, "I didn't help him when he was alive. I didn't save him when he was killed. I didn't want to carry on his mission once he was dead… I repaid him poorly for the love he gave me". Kanda was surprised to hear her say such things. He stayed silent indecisively for some time.

"You're a Noah…"

"What do you mean to say?", Ellen asked, a troubled smile on her lips when she lowered her head to look at him, „I am a Noah so it was to be expected?", she wondered. Kanda frowned and shook his head.

"That's not what I meant… Maybe it was unfair of him to expect that much of you…", he replied and Ellen didn't look at him, "You're not cold and uncaring, at least not always even though the Noah inside of you should be… If you hadn't cared about him then you wouldn't have tried to bring him back to life…". Ellen lowered her head and clenched the fabric of her dress between her fingers, turning her knuckles white. Kanda sighed and looked out of the window, listening to her silent crying. "You're only human after all".

--

When Kanda made his way to the dining hall so he could get some tea for Ellen, he ran into Linali.

"Ah, Kanda!", she said and smiled at him, "I just wanted to come and fetch you!". He frowned in irritation.

"And I was on my way to the cafeteria…", he replied and continued walking. Linali wasn't really put off by his unfriendly behaviour and chose to follow him.

"Komui wants to see you and Ellen in his office", she told him and Kanda turned his head to look at her.

"Can't that wait?", he asked and Linali sighed.

"I heard about the mission just when I returned from mine… I'm glad that nothing serious happened…". Kanda snorted, "Maybe brother wants to discuss your mission".

"I hope not", the black-haired General thought, "if Tiedoll couldn't keep his trap shut then there's a huge probability that he suspects Ellen of being a Noah because of the ark – if he knows about it. And I really don't want another scene right now".

"Uhm… Kanda?", Linali asked as Kanda didn't show any signs to have heard her, „Komui wants to see you… _Now_". The male exorcists groaned and stopped.

„Fine! I'll go talk to him! Fetch Ellen!", he replied and walked off into the direction of Komui's office.

"Kanda!", Linali called and he turned around with a "what now?!" expression on his face. The girl was smiling at him. "You called her Ellen", he told him and he frowned. He had? Linali put her hands together in front of her mouth, smiling brightly, "so something good must have happened between the two of you! I'm happy to see that your relationship is improving!". With these words she turned around and walked up the staircase to the general's floor. Kanda was left standing in the corridor, slightly surprised at himself. True, he had called her Ellen… But who cared, it didn't mean that he would address her that way.

"I do wonder where we are heading though… She is behaving differently than when we first met… I don't know if I have a positive impact on her…", he thought and groaned, "Tch. I should be glad about it, it seems as if I'm making progress to convince her to become a full member of the Black Order. And we need this, I don't want her to run back to the damned Noahs…".

He walked into the science division, where he skilfully ignored all the greetings, and entered Komui's office. He found him alone, next to maps and stacks of papers. The room looked as chaotic as ever and Komui seemed as cheerful as ever.

"Kanda! Good that you're here", he said with a smile, "Isn't Ellen with you?"

"She was still resting, but Linali will fetch her", Kanda replied with an annoyed snort and sat down on the couch in front of Komui's desk. The supervisor let his cheerful attitude drop and studied Kanda over the rim of his glasses.

"I'm sorry that I have to insist. This concerns her as well…", he said and Kanda shifted in his seat without actually showing Komui that he was a bit concerned about what this was all about.

"You want to talk about the failed mission then?", he wondered and saw Komui nod.

"This and I've already got a new one for you, but it's not connected to the last one. At least not really", the Chinese answered him and Kanda raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Well, let's wait for Ellen", Komui continued and went back to study the maps hanging at the wall. Some moments later Ellen came into the office dressed in her usual white clothes. She looked perfectly cheerful. "Ah! Ellen! Good to see you!", Komui expressed and pointed at the couch. "Please, take a seat".

"Thank you", Ellen replied and sat down next to Kanda. He risked a glance at her; she looked better than when he left her, maybe Linali had been able to cheer her up.

"Well… General Tiedoll informed me about the mission. Even though you failed to find out what was going on there, I am really relieved that you made it out alive…", Komui started and looked at the two exorcists in front of him, "Ellen, why have you not informed me of your abilities?", he asked her.

"My abilities?", she asked, probably to test how much Komui actually knew. Komui sighed and sat down.

"The general told me that you were able to infiltrate the ruins and get out relatively unharmed thanks to your magical powers. You are a sorceress", he stated and Ellen nodded. "Is it true that you have been taught by the missing General Cross?". Kanda knew that it wasn't true but Ellen nodded. "So that guy is really still alive…", Komui muttered to himself, then he looked back up to the others, "The General never stayed here for long, but we lost contact to him about 10 years ago"

"Marian Cross is still alive, but I'm not able to tell you where he is right now…", Ellen told him and Komui sighed.

"What is this all about, Komui?", Kanda asked and looked at the Chinese man. The supervisor pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Well… Cross is still alive and out there somewhere… I would like you to find him and bring him here. He's not that young anymore but we still need him. As far as I know his battle strength was exceptional", he replied and Kanda frowned.

"We have to look for Cross? Didn't you tell me that we were not allowed to go out on missions that are set out of Britain? I picked her up in China, that man could be God knows where!", he argued.

"I know that… That's why I want you to search Britain first. Cross is a Scientist and a Sorcerer, if we look in the right places, we might find clues"

"What do you mean by "in the right places"?", Kanda wondered and Komui produced two mission files that he handed the two exorcists.

"Recently a secret society has formed, or maybe I should call it an occult circle. It is mostly frequented by male aristocrats roughly around your age. We have reasons to believe that they involved themselves with Cross's studies about magic and Innocence… Before things get out of hand, I want you two to have a look at it, just in case that they might cause trouble… But this has time until tomorrow. Go through the details, rest a bit and then you can depart tomorrow morning", Komui explained. Kanda was still not that happy with this kind of investigation mission, but he was not opposed to getting out of the order, just in case Komui tried to make him stay again.

"Fine", Kanda said and stood up, Ellen doing the same. Kanda left and Ellen followed him after saying a short but polite good-bye to Komui. "Tch. Now that's what we get from revealing too much. First Rabi and now Komui wants us to go on a Cross hunt!", the black haired general complained.

"I think that it could have been worse…", Ellen replied as they were walking down the corridor towards the dining hall. Kanda snorted, but she had a point; at least Komui didn't know that Ellen was a Noah. Tiedoll had only reported the things he knew and not what he might suspect (and Kanda wasn't even sure if Tiedoll knew that they were inside of the Ark). When they came into the dining hall they met Rabi.

"Tch. Now it just got worse", he muttered when he saw Rabi's uncertain glance towards them. Ellen smiled at the red-head, then she went to order, Kanda following her. With their food trays, they sat down next to Rabi.

"Uh… Hi you two", he greeted and Kanda groaned.

"What's wrong with you?", he asked in annoyance and Rabi sighed.

"I just… Sorry Ellen… I really didn't mean to…", he started, but Ellen just patted his hand.

"Don't worry about it. You may ask me anything you want, but just keep it to yourself", she said and Rabi nodded in relief.

"Yes! On my honour as a Bookman!", he replied cheerfully and Ellen laughed.

"Fine, then you may join me in my room", she said and Kanda frowned at her.

"Why?", he wondered, Rabi asking the same.

"It's better to get this problem out of the way right now. It is not my intention to make you worry", she replied, addressing Rabi. Kanda was not all too happy with that, but he didn't see how he could possibly object, it was the beansprout's choice anyway.

"Well, if we have nothing better to do, then let's go up", Kanda said after they had finished eating. They left the dining hall and went back into the Ark's piano room.

"What exactly is this place?", Rabi asked when a table with writing utensil appeared in front of him. Ellen sat down at the piano while Kanda took a seat next to the window, looking out over the white town.

"This here is Noah's Ark", the woman replied and turned towards Kanda, "do you want to hear a song?". Kanda frowned at her and then he snorted.

"Do whatever you want, beansprout", he replied and Ellen huffed, but started playing. Meanwhile Rabi had sat down as well, getting a parchment and the quill.

"Fine, I'm ready to write your entry, Noah of Destiny", Rabi said and Ellen nodded, while her hands danced over the keys of the piano.

"When did you become a Noah?", was the first question Rabi asked.

"In the year 1855 at the age of 15", she replied and the Bookman wrote it down without commenting on it. Kanda on the other hand became aware of the fact that she became a Noah in the same year that he was born in.

"Coincidence?", he wondered, but just ignored it; he didn't think that it was connected, neither did he think that it was relevant – if it was then the beansprout would have mentioned it…

"What is your affinity to the other Noahs today?", Rabi continued asking and Kanda thought that this question was pretty irrelevant to the Bookman chronicles.

"We are considered to be a family and entertain normal familiar relationships. However, I do not care what they are doing, nor have I tried or will try to form special bonds with them"

"So you're quite indifferent about them", Rabi concluded and Ellen nodded, still playing a silent song. "You mentioned a husband and a current boyfriend. Are they part of your white side or part of your black side?", Rabi said and Kanda sat up straight in his armchair, but Ellen's hand continued moving over the keys and her face was still calm.

"To my black side", Ellen replied and Rabi nodded.

"Am I thus entitled to inquire about them?", he wondered and the Noah gave another nod.

"Was your husband the fourteenth?", Rabi asked, getting straight to the point.

"He was the fourteenth, yes", Ellen replied and ended the song only to start another one.

"Did you marry him knowing that he wanted to betray the Noah clan?"

"I was not aware of it beforehand and it did nothing to change our relationship afterwards", she told him and Rabi took it down wordlessly. It didn't seem as he wanted to ask about her current boyfriend, probably because it was really not benefiting the Bookmen's records.

"What did you do after your husband's violent death?", the Bookman inquired.

"I continued living with the Earl of Millennium and my family. I did not try to take revenge, but I started to create a plan of secret rebellion against the Earl of Millennium. Nothing that would truly threaten him yet, just small things that might make a difference later on, making small adjustments in the course of fate where I saw fit", Ellen replied and Kanda snorted silently. Small adjustments that would have tremendous impacts on people's lives!

"What kind of missions do you receive from the Earl?", the red-head continued asking.

"First of all I am responsible to use my manipulation abilities for him, for example I might need to buy him time, so I delay certain occurrences or prevent them. Other than that I am sometimes charged with overseeing missions to destroy Innocence, but I am not directly involved with either Innocence or exorcists – for safety reasons", she said with a smile, "and I am responsible for moving the Ark and letting the Noah use it as a transportation vessel".

"How is it possible that you have both Innocence and Noah genes?", Rabi wondered and Ellen continued smiling.

"I do not know how it came to be, but the powers are equally distributed most of the time. As long as this balance is maintained nothing will happen", she replied and it seemed satisfactory for Rabi. It didn't seem as he was trying to get an in-depth analysis of her.

"I know these questions are not really concerning Destiny, but rather Ellen Walker. Are you fine with this as well?"

"For now I am fine with it", Ellen replied and Kanda wondered what kind of questions Rabi might have to ask her.

"What do you think of the Black Order?". Ellen raised her eyes to study him.

"Nothing much. I do not care what the exorcists are doing. But I do not have hostile emotions towards it", Ellen replied and Kanda found that kind of obvious.

"Then what do you think about Destiny?", Rabi wanted to know.

"About my Noah part?", Ellen asked and Rabi nodded, "She is a part of me that I do not love, nor do I hate her. He existence has caused me pain but also saved me", she replied and Kanda thought that this was not much of an answer. Maybe he would need to ask her about it again later on.

"Last question, but probably the most important one", Rabi said, putting down the quill to look at her and Ellen stopped playing.

"Yes?", she inquired curiously.

"What do you think about humans?", Rabi asked and Kanda and Ellen looked at him in surprise.

"Humans…", she replied and looked down at her fingers. Kanda studied her face and she raised her eyes to meet his just for a split second, then she turned away and looked at Rabi with a smile, "I am a human as well". Rabi grinned at her and Kanda knew that the interrogation was finished.

"That's the answer I've been looking for, beansprout!"

"Why do you need to call me that?", Ellen wondered with slight amusement.

"Ah, sorry! I just thought it was really cute, especially as it was Yu that came up with this pet name!", the red-head replied and got up from his seat. Ellen laughed while Kanda just snorted, "I'll be on my way now! I see that you still have a mission to discuss! Keep me up to date!", he said and walked over to the door.

"We will", Ellen told him while Kanda just snorted in annoyance, "good night, Rabi!"  
"Good night you two!", and with this the young man left the piano room.

"It seems that you passed", Kanda remarked and Ellen turned to him with a smile.

"What do you mean?", she wondered and Kanda snorted.

"Nothing".

"Now then, should we have a look at the mission details?", Ellen suggested and got up as well. Kanda studied her, but then he nodded.

"Let's do that…"

--

Ellen was sticking another pink coloured ball into her mouth.

"I don't think that sugar will make you grow", Kanda commented and sat on the bed next to Ellen. She had the mission report in front of her and the little bag with the sweets right next to it.

"But it might make me sweet", Ellen replied without reacting to his teasing, "maybe you should eat one as well". Kanda rolled his eyes, then he opened the printed file.

"I don't think that such an occult secret society could be connected to Cross", Kanda said after reading.

"Oh, it might be possible. Actually I do think that it would make sense", Ellen replied and looked at Kanda. "Marian Cross did a lot of research connected to strange phenomena under the pretence of wanting to explain them with new sciences. His research was mainly sponsored by universities or some circles devoting themselves to science"

"You know Cross pretty well it seems", Kanda said and Ellen smiled at him cheekily. Kanda wondered what that stupid smile was supposed to mean.

"It was pretty useful to be his acquaintance. And as I was his teacher for a short time, I also needed to know what he was able to do. He has magic abilities, but his merit is mainly that he is a very clever man. He knows how to strengthen his magic with science and studies of the spells, apart from that he knew magic from all over the world. But this is irrelevant". Kanda was tempted to argue with this because Cross seemed pretty fishy to him, it would be best to know more. "The point is that he conducted a lot of research in universities… It is not surprising that people are able to access his research reports"

"And he also researched Innocence?"

"Back then, yes… Innocence and the structure of Akuma…", Ellen replied and noticed Kanda's confused look, "Marian Cross is able to modify Akuma. He can make them obey him and cancel out their need to kill – at least for a certain amount of time, he hasn't completed that field of research yet. It's highly complex after all…",

"Whatever. So you say that some of these stupid students got their hands on the research and tried to do some research of their own, probably meddling with Innocence".

"Yes, that is exactly what I think this is about", Ellen replied and Kanda snorted.

"Great… Depending on how clever they are they might prove to be a challenge", he said and looked at the report, "and Komui gave me a General's liberty to solve this any way I like. He probably didn't know how to deal with this either".

"Well, infiltrating closed circles is my speciality after all. I'm sure Komui Li gave us this mission because of my abilities", Ellen replied with a smile. Kanda looked over at her and then looked back down on the report.

"Their occult circle "Science of God" – stupid name for a secret society – consists of about half a dozen members of high society, students or former students that gathered in northern England. One cannot ask to be admitted, but will be invited to join by one or several of the circle's members. Furthermore those guys don't let women join seemingly under the pretence that "women defile the science of God and men can only unfold their genius in meaningful discourse and interaction with other men"… Tch. Ridiculous. This seems like a group of demented, misogynist boys trying to play around with something they have no clue of".

"Humans often do that. They try to meddle with things they have no idea of. Sometimes it backfires on them and sometimes it leads to new knowledge… Maybe these young men, in their youthful urge to learn new things, have found out things we do not know yet?", Ellen suggested and Kanda just raised an eyebrow.

"You don't have your hands in it, do you?", Ellen shook her head, "good. Then no, I don't think so. I guess that they're just a bunch of idiots…". The white haired exorcist had to laugh at that.

"And they wouldn't be if I had been involved?", she wondered and Kanda shrugged.

"If you were then I would have to believe that they are important some way or another", he replied and Ellen smiled at him. "Anyway, do you have a plan beansprout?"

"Now what's with the pet name, Yu Kanda?", Ellen wanted to know, chuckling to herself.

"I told you, it's fitting. Now give me an answer", Kanda replied.

"Of course I do…", Ellen said and a sly smile made its way to her lips, "In order to get close enough to investigate, we need to make them interested in us"

"Sounds time consuming", Kanda remarked and Ellen smiled.

"Depending on how good the disguise is, no", she replied and Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"So you want to dress up as students or what?"

"Of course, Yu Kanda. Our advantage is that we know Marian Cross, we both have Innocence and that we can perform magic"

"I cannot perform magic, idiot", Kanda interrupted her and Ellen smiled.

"Correct. But I can. And the things you manage to do with your Innocence and the fact that you bear the Lotus Charm will be enough to convince them that we are indeed fit to be part of „Science of God"…", Ellen explained and Kanda thought through this.

"Well, fine then. I'll pretend to be some aristocratic idiot interested in magic and get the Innocence – if there is any – before they do something stupid", Kanda summarized, "tch. Tedious!"

"That sounds pretty amateurish", Ellen mocked and Kanda glared at her, "I said that the time it needs to infiltrate their circle is dependant on the quality of our disguise. Do you really think that you can do it on your own? Remember that you are Asian and not that good at dealing with people".

"You're so annoying", Kanda hissed, "but fine. Let me hear your perfect plan. What are we going to do?"

"Well, first of all we need to have Rabi look into the archives, so that he can get us some of Marian Cross's more secret research. We need this to bait them later on. Then it would be good to have Timcampy with us, because it belonged to Marian Cross and it's a means of getting in touch with him"

"It is? Why don't we just use that to communicate with him?"

"Because this is not possible. Timcampy can lead us to Marian Cross, because it knows where its master is, but it can only give a vague direction when he's far away".

"Tch. Idiotic device", Kanda said and looked at his night table where he had locked the golden golem away.

"Anyway, in order to get them interested in us we need a certain social standing", Ellen continued and Kanda frowned.

"You don't want to go there as a Noah, do you?", he asked and Ellen laughed.

"No… Not at all", she said with a secretive glint in her eyes.

"Then what will we do? Don't get me annoyed at you, beansprout", Kanda warned her and she smiled.

"We'll go to my place of birth".

_To be continued  
_

**Notes:**

Hm, this chapter got longer than I imagined (I bet it's thanks to the long Bookman-Noah talk that didn't really reveal anything we didn't know yet… How boring)

Kanda and Ellen's relationship is moving in a good direction… However, I feel that this improvement is a bit rushed (even though you might argue with me on that because there have been 17 chapters without real Kanda – Ellen content! **lol**).

Any thoughts on this chapter? Feedback is loved! :3


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Notes:**

Sorry it took so long. I had the beginning of the chapter written, then I somehow lost it because I kept switching from file on my pc to file on the memory stick to file on my mother's laptop… Of course I was pretty annoyed and uninspired to write then.

As a warning; this chapter has **Cyril** in it, so spoilers for those who don't know him, but actually not much. Then are some minor **OCs** in here and last but not least a flashback to Ellen's past which you will find in **italics**, as usual!

Enjoy! :D

**Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino.**

* * *

The corridor leading down to the underground waterways was dark as always. Electric light, dirtied by layers of dust and cobwebs, barely illuminated the stairs with their flickering light. Rabi was hurrying down the steps with a brown thick envelope in his free hand. He arrived at the bottom of the stairs and a slight shiver went through him as he felt the damp, cold, smelly air reach him. Little clouds formed in front of his mouth every time he breathed out. It was darker down here without the orange light of electricity. There were torches burning at the tops of street lanterns, adding another noise to the constant gurgle of the underground stream. Two figures were waiting at the dock, their two suitcases were already inside the gondola.

"Tch. You're late", Kanda complained, buttoning up his sleeve. Rabi grinned apologetically.

"Was not easy to get out of the infirmary, but I was able to get those", he said and waved with the thick envelope. Before he handed Kanda anything he inspected him closely. The Japanese wore very fashionable clothes; his legs were clad in dark trousers, his pointed black shoes were shining even in the dull light. Rabi could see the sleeves and the collar of a white shirt peeking out from underneath a black frock coat. His black hair was pulled back out of his face and tied with a black ribbon into a low pony tail.

"You look dashing", Rabi commented, "like a nobleman! I'm pretty amazed that you can look so sophisticated!". Kanda glared at him.

"I actually _am_ a noble man", he hissed, but Rabi had already found something else to give his attention to; Ellen.

"I'm speechless!", the red-head shouted and earned himself a chuckle from the white haired girl – who didn't actually look much like a girl in her current get-up. She was wearing black trousers and shoes and over it a white shirt with a black vest. Her hands were safely hidden under white cotton gloves. She also had a black frock hung over her arm while she was adjusting the black tie around her neck. Her white hair had been pulled back as well, but her fringe still hung into her face.

"You're… really _handsome_…", Rabi said and made a circle around the girl, inspecting her from all angles. "Ne! Yu! She's turned from a pretty girl into a handsome boy!".

"She's not a boy", Kanda protested, but Rabi was hearing nothing of it.

"Are… Is that an illusion or what?", he wondered and the white haired girl smiled at him.

"Oi", Kanda interrupted, taking Rabi's attention off the beautiful teen in front of him for just a split second. The black haired general lifted Mugen, pointing it at Ellen's stomach. "Do some of your meddling again", he ordered.

"Of course", the girl replied and touched her finger to Mugen's blade. Rabi, being slightly surprised that the high pitch was gone from Ellen's voice, observed how Mugen turned into a black walking stick.

"That really is a perfect disguise! With you by his side, Yu won't mess up!", he said and then he continued being delighted with Ellen's appearance. Kanda took notice of it with slight annoyance. Of course, Ellen was beautiful, whether in her usual clothes or dressed up like a boy. And while this too did please him in some dark corner of the mostly ignored parts of his brain, it also scratched at his pride. He was not particularly vain, never the less had he been very aware of his own exceptional good looks. To have someone else rival his innate beauty didn't really sit well with him and the fact that it was actually a girl dressed as a boy didn't help at all.

"What the hell am I thinking about?", Kanda wondered and frowned at his own pointless vanity. Meanwhile Rabi had remembered his previous question.

"Now, is it an illusion as well?", he wondered and couldn't help letting his eyes travel down to Ellen's flat chest. Ellen, ever the whimsical woman she was, just smiled at him.

"Why don't you feel for yourself?", she wondered and Rabi blinked at her, while Kanda's protest died in his throat in utter horror at that shameless suggestion.

"I may?", Rabi wondered, "well, if you say so. Here I go". He dropped the envelope into Kanda's hands and touched his free hand against Ellen's chest. "Amazing! It's flat!!", he exclaimed with surprise, patting her chest, then feeling his own to compare.

"Stop groping her!", Kanda shouted and hit Rabi with the envelope.

"She said that I may!", the red-head protested and rubbed his head. "But feel for yourself! Her chest is flat, she transformed herself into a boy!!". Kanda, after snorting to hide his irritation, pointed Mugen at his face.

"This might look like a walking stick, do you want to feel for yourself if I can still drive it through your stomach?", the black haired general challenged and Rabi backed off slightly.

"No, it's okay! Fine! I didn't say anything!", he shouted and Kanda lowered Mugen.

"Whatever. Let's go already, we've been wasting enough time!", he growled and got into the gondola without saying anything else. Rabi uttered a defeated sigh.

"Well… Have a nice trip you two, a pity that I can't accompany you", he said and Ellen smiled at him while climbing into the boat.

"Heh. You would only mess up once again. We don't need another failed mission", Kanda said coldly which made Rabi snort, but he continued grinning.

"Good bye you two!". Ellen waved at him while Kanda started steering the boat. After they had left the dock behind them and entered into the dark waterway system with its occasional flickering torches and doors nobody knew where they led, Ellen spoke up again:

"You seem to be in a bad mood", she observed and Kanda glared down at her. She had a grin on her handsome, boyish face and it irritated Kanda.

"The whole mission, it reeks of trouble", he said after a while, still pushing the long wooden pole into the water to make them advance through the corridors.

"Oh? Why is that so?", Ellen wondered but Kanda didn't reply, "is it because of me?". Kanda turned around and stared down at her.

"If there's trouble, then it's always because of you!", he accused her and this made the white haired Noah laugh. Kanda shortly wondered why he thought of her as a Noah right now.

"Probably because she's relying on her manipulative magic again. It annoys me", he concluded in his mind and looked back forwards where he could see the exit in the distance.

"Why did you have to disguise yourself? You could have as well gone as a woman"

"Maybe I could have. If I had no magical abilities then I might have pretended to be your wife, it would have worked as well. But would you have liked that better?", Ellen wondered with a sly smile.

"Yes", Kanda thought grimly, but he replied "No". Ellen laughed, maybe she had guessed his thoughts.

"Well, but this mission requires better preparation than that. If I had pretended to be your wife, then only you would have gotten into the society, officially at least. And we wouldn't have been able to pretend to be nobility as good as we will be now".

"How come?", Kanda wanted to know, not really getting her trail of thoughts. Ellen smiled at him.

"I told you; because we will be visiting my place of birth". Kanda studied her, but then he snorted.

"I don't get it"

"You don't have to… You will see in time", Ellen promised and Kanda didn't like it.

-

They were travelling the traditional way again. Ellen was not as nervous on this journey as she had been with Tiedoll and Rabi. In fact, she looked completely comfortable in her new set of clothes. Tiedoll had been very happy to supply Kanda with the clothes he was wearing now. The older general claimed that he had always kept them for his "cute little Yu" for special occasions, whatever this was supposed to mean. However, Kanda had no idea where Ellen had gotten her clothes from, but they did smell of cigarettes ever so slightly. Which was very suspicious, but he decided not to doubt her right now for the sake of their truce. Earlier this day, when they had gotten into the horse carriage, Ellen had told Kanda that they would be heading for Northern England, but not for the town where this strange sect was residing. Kanda knew that they were supposed to go to Ellen's birth place, but he somehow couldn't really believe in it. She had never talked much about herself, only giving small glimpses into her past life, while Ellen knew everything there was to know about Kanda – or so he thought. Which was pretty unsettling, but he couldn't change it. However, the general also guessed that it would be awkward to find out about Ellen's past, it was 40 years worth of being a Noah after all and it was better not to be interested in that.

They passed a busy village and entered a forest, while Kanda was agonizing about the whole ordeal.

"How much longer will it take us?", Kanda wondered, "wasn't that the town where the sect resides right now?".

"Yes, it's pretty convenient that they are here, so close to our home for the next weeks", Ellen replied with a smile. Kanda frowned.

"And you're sure that you haven't done anything to make it convenient?", he asked. The girl laughed and shook her head.

"No, it is not in my interest to spread Cross' knowledge among overenthusiastic children with too much time on their hands", she replied and Kanda just snorted, "however, it does not surprise me that much that they chose this city… Cross has resided here some time ago… And apart from that do the men of the society change their meeting place every few weeks"

"Which means that we must spark their interest while they are still here", Kanda added and the white haired girl nodded.

"Exactly. We would lose the advantage we have in this region", she replied and Kanda studied her wordlessly. He didn't really know what the advantage was, but it take much to guess. They had Innocence and some notes of Cross, they were both men (even though one was pretended) and the last thing that they needed to get into the society was reputation. Hence, Ellen Walker's birthplace must enable them to get this reputation.

"Is she from a rich household? But she's already 55 years old, she must be pretending if that's the case!", Kanda concluded with a frown. They left the forest and were making their way on a road through fields. It was a beautiful day for this time of the year, with the sun shining through the clouds, throwing bright spots of light on the grassy fields around them.

"This is the moor. We'll be there shortly", Ellen said as Kanda studied the landscape with curiosity. Kanda turned around to look at her, but she just smiled charmingly and even though she wore no make-up and neither was her face as round and youthful as he knew it, her beauty could not be concealed. He snorted, a bit irritated at his trail of thought, and leant back against the wall behind him, looking out of the window. He could indeed see a building in the distance and as far as he could tell it was a huge manor, its white façade shining in the sun rays.

"Is it that house there in the distance?", Kanda wondered and Ellen, without turning around to look out of the window, nodded with a smile.

"Indeed. This is Rosebridge Manor". The general just frowned at her, but he contended himself by looking out of the window at the approaching manor.

-

Rosebridge Manor was a splendid building. It was entirely white, with huge windows all over the four stories. Kanda couldn't help staring when the door of the carriage was opened by a servant. He climbed out of the carriage and looked around. On the square there was a huge fountain, but it had no water in it this time of the year and Kanda could spot Greek or Roman (he had no clue and neither did he care) statues made out of marble standing at the edges of the square in front of the house like white guards. Ellen climbed out of the carriage after her companion, again adjusting her gloves as if she feared that they might slip off her fingers.

"Is Miss Lane present?", she asked the servant.

"She is currently out of the house, but your cousin Master Wedgewood is visiting", he replied and Ellen smiled at him.

"Very well. I am sorry for my sudden visit, I was in the vicinity and decided to rest here", Ellen said and the servant bowed.

"I am sure that Miss Lane will be delighted to see you back from your journey", he said and earned himself a polite smile.

"Thank you. I am sure she will", Ellen replied and the servant took this as his cue to take their baggage out of the carriage. When he left them Kanda turned to Ellen.

"What the heck is going on here?", he hissed and Ellen laughed.

"First of all, welcome to Rosebridge Manor, why don't we go inside while I explain to you?", she suggested and Kanda saw no other choice than to let her do as she pleased. They walked over to the entrance where a white bridge led over some kind of pit that ran all the way from one end of the mansion's front to the other. "This is why we call this the Rosebridge Manor. This moor is very popular for its vegetation and on this manor's land grow a lot of roses. Of course, you can't see them now because its autumn, but I can assure you that this place is filled with white roses in summer and spring", Ellen explained. The bridge had roses engraved in its white stone while in the pit below Kanda could see the green mess of hundreds of rose bushes. They walked through the white doors into a huge entrance hall with two staircases and a lot of decoration, but nearly everything was white (with the occasional silver and gold).

"We will withdraw now. I assume that my rooms are still free?", Ellen said to a servant and she nodded.

"Yes, Sir", she replied politely and Ellen thanked her.

"Come, dear friend, I will lead to you to our chambers", she said in an easygoing tone directed at Kanda and started walking up the steps. Kanda, very sceptical, followed her up. Fortunately for Kanda, they did not yet meet Ellen's ominous cousin Wedgewood and Ellen opened a door on the second floor for Kanda. The room Kanda found himself in was also overstuffed like their lodgings in Rome, but this time with sofas and cushions and portraits which reminded him slightly of the sorceress' house back in his old hometown.

"Why don't you take a seat?", Ellen asked and sat down on one of the sofas, pushing the cushions aside. Kanda did the same, taking the sofa opposite the girl.

"If I understood correctly then you're part of this prosperous house?", Kanda wondered, "Rosebridge or what was it?".

"Yes, I was rightfully born into this noble household. However, we're-"

"Allen! Why didn't you tell me that you're back!", interrupted the voice of a newcomer. The intruder entered their chambers by forcefully throwing the doors open in some mockery of a heroic entrance and approached them with a huge grin plastered onto his youthful face. Ellen did manage to hide a frown, but Kanda saw that she was not entirely happy with the intrusion.

"Good day to you David… I just arrived and first wanted to rest from the long journey. I was not even aware beforehand that you would be visiting Rosebridge Manor", Ellen replied and shook hands with the man. David Wedgewood was in his late twenties, maybe already early thirties, but he looked like a young boy with his bright, shining face, his red cheeks and light brown eyes. He had curly brown hair and wore brown, elegant clothes. His stupid, cheerful grin reminded Kanda of Rabi and this annoyed the general. Wedgewood first became aware of Kanda when Ellen threw him an apologetic look. The man studied him in surprise.

"You've gotten yourself a foreign servant on your journey? Does he even speak English?", he wondered and Ellen had to laugh.

"This is Yu Kanda, he is not my servant. We have met in Hong Kong. He also studied and yes, he is able to speak English like an Englishman", Ellen said and Kanda frowned at this stupid story, but Ellen – being a Noah that had mastered manipulation far beyond his imagination – probably had thought this through.

"So… Uh, Yu"

"It is Kanda", the general said through clenched teeth.

"You foreigners with your strange names!", Wedgewood complained while laughing heartily, "anyway, do you like hunting? This moor is made for hunting game!"

"I do not", Kanda snorted in annoyance.

"We are here to rest, not to exert ourselves", Ellen said with a smile. Wedgewood rolled his eyes.

"And your idea of relaxing is burying your nose in books – what are you, a woman? But you've always been like this, Allen. Which is a pity, really, because you're like a lucky charm if we go hunting!", he said and turned back to Kanda, "would you believe it? I shot two deer last time he accompanied me! Two deer! I'm normally just going for foxes or ducks, but I couldn't complain. Two deer, this made Miss Kent fall head over heels for me – again I must add. I tend to be quite popular with the ladies, you see, but I am sure that you can relate. Anyway, I always use to say that to know to hunt is to know how to get women!"

"Tch. Nonsense", Kanda snorted and Wedgewood laughed – again, not getting the unfriendly tone Kanda spoke in.

"Ah, I'm sure it's different with you Chinese people", he said and Kanda glared at him, which went unnoticed by the man. Ellen turned towards Wedgewood.

"David, I have brought a new horse with me and I am not sure if I paid too much for it. How about you ride it for a bit to see if it's worth its money? The weather is just clearing up and if you take your gun with you, you might be able to shoot some ducks".

"That is a brilliant idea, cousin. I will be right on my way. I will make your horse work and we'll see if it's worth anything!", Wedgewood agreed and left the room.

"What kind of idiot is that?!", Kanda hissed after Ellen closed and _locked_ the doors.

"David Wedgewood… He is a noisy fellow… But he rarely visits Rosebridge Manor, it seems that we have bad luck", she said with a smile.

"Indeed. I hope he won't disturb us again", Kanda hissed in annoyance and saw how Ellen's smile widened.

"Don't worry", was all she said and Kanda deemed it best to just not ask about it.

"So what's with this whole confusion here? Is this really your birthplace or did you just use your manipulation skills to get into a noble household?"

"Both actually", Ellen replied with a smirk, "I was indeed born here. However, to get access to my birth right I had to use my abilities. Because Rosebridge Manor is the place where I have been born, but not raised". Kanda looked at her with a frown.

"I remember that you talked about your parents once, didn't you? You said that they must have suffered greatly and that you destroyed their lives because you were born with that Innocence arm", he said after a while and Ellen smiled at him.

"I am surprised that you still remember this, but you are perfectly right. My poor, poor parents", she said, her voice sounding rather dark and sarcastic. "Do you want to hear about my birth?", she asked with a eerie smile and Kanda was not sure what he was supposed to say now.

"Whatever, just spit it out", he said in the end, because he did want to know, but not when she made such a face.

"Very well", Ellen replied cheerfully and Kanda glared at her, "I was born in 1840 as the third child of the noble Whittmore family. I had a brother 15 years older than I and a sister 10 years older. It would have been a good family to grow up in, but unfortunately I was born with Innocence. Master and Mistress Whittmore did not know what my deformed arm was though and they decided to abandon me not long after my birth. My parents were not cruel people, mind you, but this was a question of reputation and honour. If I did not exist, then everything could go on as it was before, to have a crippled child would harm the family name after all. Therefore Master Whittmore decided to get rid of me. He told a servant to take me away and I was left to the mercy of London's streets to either kill or save me", Ellen smiled at Kanda, "as you see, London's streets were favourable to me and I did survive". Kanda looked at her in surprise.

"They just left you to die in London?!", he asked, but Ellen didn't reply. "Tch. I have no clue how you can still say that your parents were not cruel people!".

"Cruel or not, they did give me two gifts before parting with me", Ellen continued and smiled, "three if you count the life that I received from them. The first was a name and the second was a blanket into which the name "Whittemore" was stitched… This was all I needed to be able to return to this place".

"Why did you return? Did you want revenge?", Kanda asked with some reserve.

"No, I do not care about revenge… I simply saw the change to get another identity. That is all. And to have a noble family is always good if you want to move around in certain parts of society", Ellen replied and Kanda looked at her suspiciously.

"And that is all?"

"Indeed. That was the only reason for me to return", Ellen explained, "and I merely returned a few years ago, because I found out that my two siblings had died and that there was no heir but me… Certainly, my sudden appearance didn't sit well with certain people, among which is Miss Lane, a distant relative, I am sure that she hoped to get the house once my mother died".

"I see… Then when did you return to this house? And why the way you are now? Disguised as a man", he asked and a horrible thought struck him at once, probably triggered by the confusing situation right now. "You're not a man are you?". Ellen blinked at him and then she laughed, putting her hands in front of her face in a not too manly manner. "Tch. Stop that!", Kanda shouted, a bit embarrassed.

"No, no. Don't worry about it. I am I woman", Ellen said, regaining her composure, putting her hands on her knees. Ellen's cheerful and relaxed face struck Kanda as especially beautiful, but he did not dwell on this any longer.

"Tch. It just seems odd that you need to come here in a male disguise if you were born female"

"Well… maybe I should elaborate a bit on the time I returned to this old manor", Ellen suggested and rose to her feet. "I can think better when I am sitting at a piano. I have one in the next room, do you care to join me?", she asked and Kanda rose as well, not giving her an answer. Ellen took this as a yes and guided him into another room. It was similar to the piano room; there wasn't much furniture except a white grand piano and a lot of armchairs and sofas. A whole wall was covered by windows reaching up to the ceiling, showing out onto the garden and the moor behind it. Kanda took a seat in a comfortable armchair next to the piano while Ellen seated herself, putting her fingers on the keys. She played a few notes and Kanda noticed the difference in the sound of the piano – he couldn't quite pinpoint it but it seemed to him that this piano here might be older and the tunes didn't vibrate inside his body like the piano in the Ark used to. But her play was still impressive as always, even though it was different. The image as well, was very different; Ellen sitting at a piano in men's clothes without the female grace she normally possessed, but she was still graceful in a way that Kanda could better relate to. In this respect Kanda was awed: her disguise and her acting were perfect and flawless. Which in turn made Kanda uneasy because it rendered him unable to distinguish acting from real behaviour.

"What is her true identity if she can change them at will? Is it the Noah? Is it the Exorcist I've come to know? Is it that girl I've seen from time to time? The grieving widow? The scrupulous witch? Who _is_ she?", Kanda thought to himself, but then Ellen started speaking, making an end to Kanda's musings:

"Let me tell you of the days when I've come to this manor to reclaim my family name. On that day, five years ago, stormy clouds drew over the lands of the moor and the roses were blooming"

-

"_You want me to accompany you, darling?". Ellen looked up from the writing desk she was sitting at. In front of her she had a single piece of cloth; it had been washed, but it still looked worn by age and abuse. The white silk had a name stitched in one corner of it._

"_Thank you, Cyril K__amelot, but I prefer to settle human family business on my own", she replied and Cryil walked over to her chuckling slightly. He drew his fingers through her white hair that had been pulled back into a low pony tail. _

"_Ah, because you think that I might be ruining your perfect disguise by my lamenting?", he wondered and extended his hand to pull her up on her feet. "But upon my honour. What fancy has ridden you when you decided to visit your human family in this disguise? You look so beautiful in a dress that it brings a tear to my eye when I see your legs clad in trousers", he said with a deep sigh, smile still on his lips while he adjusted the jacket Ellen was wearing. Ellen smiled at the other Noah. _

"_I appreciate your concern, but you must know that a male head of family is much more powerful than a female one. I would be subject to the humours of those trying to govern me", she said. Cyril smiled at her and pinched her cheeks. _

"_Don't mind me!__ No matter how you are dressed, you always look fine Ellen darling!", he exclaimed and took a step back to study her, "and to tell the truth, you lock most dashing in these clothes as well! My, you're so cute its getting me all fidgety!"_

"_You're __as flattering as always, Cyril Kamelot", Ellen told him with a polite smile and put the silk cloth into a suitcase she had prepared beforehand. _

"_Ah, you must forgive me", Cyril laughed as he accompanied her outside where a coach was waiting for Ellen, "but I am solely an appreciator of beautiful things, and your divine but equally distant beauty cannot be marred by anything", he said touching his fingers to the left side of Ellen's face. "All the dirt and stench of London's streets did not leave a stain on you, marriage didn't turn you weak and losing your husband did not break you", he said in a low, admiring tone, tracing her face with his hands. "Like the statue of a goddess, untouched by the decay around you…". He smiled and took away his fingers, then he put his hand on Ellen's head and patted it, grinning brightly. "Well! Female or male, you can't help being the cute little thing you are! Ah! I'm getting wobbly kneed again, make sure not to stay away for too long!!", he called and Ellen, who had kept an unfaltering, solemn smile on her lips while Cyril had talked, now nodded, her polite smile returning to her lips. _

"_I will do my duty, win the house of Whittmore for the Earl and then I will return", she said and Cyril nodded at her. They exchanged customary farewell kisses and then Ellen got into the coach, leaving a waving Cyril and Rhode, who just came storming out of the house, protesting that her doll couldn't just leave dressed like that. Ellen drew the curtain of the window and closed her eyes, preparing herself for what would come afterwards._

_-_

_She had long been past the phase where she wanted to know who the parents that abandoned her were. She had once cared, back when she had been around 11 years old, back then when people did care about her enough to ask who and where her parents were. But today, 50 years after being born, 35 years after becoming a Noah, she simply had stopped caring about such things. She might have tried to meet her parents if she had known that the name on the silk cloth – for a long time the only thing that had belonged to her – was not merely a name, but that it was her name. The impulses to go visit her birthplace came from no other than Cyril Kamelot who had once talked about the unfortunate Whittmore family at tea when she and the Earl had been present. As Ellen had confided her true name to the Earl of Millennium only, it had been him to ask her to see into the matter and to find out if the Whittmores could somehow benefit them. _

_The stormy sky had turned the late afternoon dark and the wind was whirling white rose petals over the square and into the fountain. Ellen got out of the carriage and studied the manor, trying to feel any sort of familiarity, but there was none. She took her suitcase and walked up to the stairs. She had no need to knock because the inhabitants had become aware of her. A servant opened the door and inquired the name. _

"_I'm Allen, Allen Whittmore", she said, taking off her hat and bowing shortly. A stern looking woman with dark clothes, which Ellen would later come to know as Miss Lane, entered the hall._

"_Are you a visitor?", she asked and took in Allen's appearance with a frown, but when she settled on his face she paled. _

"_He said that he was a Whittmore", a servant told her uncertainly. Ellen smiled politely and waited for Miss Lane to recover her composure. She did pretty fast and furrowed her brow._

"_Nonsense! There are no Whittmores left except for Mistress Whittmore! If you are just here to try to get to the fortunes just because the other heirs died, then you better leave!". Ellen, having expected this, only smiled charmingly and entered the house._

"_What impudence!", Miss Lane shrieked, but Ellen stopped her crying with one gaze only. As if this had been her home for all her life__ she handed her coat and her hat to the servants, only holding on to her suitcase. _

"_This is rightfully my home. I can prove it to you, do not worry, but I would rather not do this in the entrance hall while the storm is blowing petals into the house", Ellen said cheerfully. Miss Lane awoke from her daze and begrudgingly accepted to lead her to a sitting room. More or less haphazardly they entered a room that had a lot of armchairs, portraits and most importantly an old, dusty grand piano. Ellen of course did not know the house yet, but her magical abilities still were strong enough to set things the way that would be most beneficial for her. Miss Lane and an elderly man that presented himself as the one in charge of the family's testament took a seat, Ellen sitting down opposite them._

"_What__ did you say was your name?", the man – Thompson – wondered, but before Ellen could reply, Miss Land interrupted._

"_More importantly, how do you claim to be related to the Whittmores?", was her unfriendly question. Ellen paid her tone no heed, she knew that this would all turn out in her favour, no matter how much this woman struggled against the course of destiny. _

"_My name is Allen. I am the grandson of the current Mistress", she said and Miss Lane frowned at her for even daring to say these words. Thompson seemed very eager, completely ignoring the cold atmosphere Miss Lane was seething. _

"_And here I was thinking that he greatly resembles the Mistress! Don't you see it? His eyes, his pale hair and his face!". Miss Lane wasn't ready to believe Ellen that easily though. _

"_This is impossible. Her daughter Melissa died when she was 15 because of pneumonia. And Master Charles recently died and he was neither married nor did he have a child! Do you claim to be his illegitimate son?!", Miss Lane shrieked. Ellen laughed and shook her head._

"_No, I claim no such thing", she said and finally opened the suitcase. She first put the silk cloth on the table and then a picture in a golden frame. _

"_Oh. __I remember these silk cloths, finest silk with the family name stitched into it. The Mistress wanted every family member to posses one"._

"_A silk cloth alone is no proof of his heritage!", Miss Lane argued, "he might have stolen it!". Thompson ignored her and asked whether he could have a look at the photograph._

"_Yes of course", Ellen replied with a smile. The friendly man took it and studied it. It was a photograph of Ellen herself, before she had gotten the scar and the white hair, which Ellen didn't even conceal right now, but she made her curse look like an ordinary scar. _

"_This must then be your mother…", Thompson guessed and Ellen nodded. He raised his head and studied Ellen intently, "you are the child of Garnet Whittmore", he stated and earned himself another nod, even though Ellen first heard her real name. It sounded strange to her, having never been addressed this way before._

"_I have never heard of such a person", Miss Lane protested, taking the phot__ograph. Surely Ellen obviously was the spitting image of the woman in the photograph (even though she looked male right now) and Thompson claimed that she greatly resembled the Mistress in her younger years. Miss Lane could not say anything against it so she just kept quiet. _

"_The existence of Garnet Whittmore was kept a secret in the household of the Whittmore family. Nobody was to mention her again… Boy, do you mind me relating the story of your mother?"._

"_I certainly do not", Ellen said and stood up, walking over to the piano, "if you do not mind me playing a soft tune while listening". Thompson smiled gently while Ellen sat down. Today she was going to hear the last bit of her own life she did not know yet; how she ended up on the streets of London. _

"_You must see, Garnet was born as the youngest child, 10 years after the poor Lady Melissa. However, she had a birth defect; her left arm didn't have much resemblance to a normal limb. Lord Whittmore rather had no child than a crippled child, that's why – after baptizing the girl – he ordered a servant to abandon her somewhere. Lady Whittmore accepted her husband's order without refusal, but she insisted on her receiving one of the silk cloths with her name on it. Now that Garnet seems to have survived, she is the next in line to be mistress of Rosebridge Manor", Thompson said, which made Miss Lane turn an angry red, but she still kept quiet. "Is your mother alive?"_

"_No Sir, she and my father unfortunately died in an accident, it was their loss that urged me to seek out my only living relatives. Had it not been for Charles Whittmore's sudden death being announced in the newspaper I would not have known where to turn to", Ellen said, not pausing her playing._

"_How unfortunate… But hear how good he plays the piano, just like Melissa and the Mistress…", he said and after a while he nodded and got up. "I have no doubt!"_

"_But Thompson –", Miss Lane tried to argue, but another voice interrupted her.  
"And neither do I". All of the people present turned towards the door where an old woman, helped by two servants, entered the room. Ellen raised and bowed._

"_It is Garnet, Garnet has returned to forgive me", the old Mistress of Rosebridge Manor said, extending her hand towards her daughter._

"_Lady Whittmore, this is not-", Miss Lane began, but Thompson urged her to stay silent._

"_It does not matter", he said and looked at the scene. Ellen was unsure how to behave; in front of her stood her own mother, either really recognizing her or being delusional. But it was how Thompson had said; it did not matter. Garnet had returned to the Whittmore house._

-

"My mother had never doubted me, for the remainder of her life she had treated me like her daughter. She had wanted my forgiveness and I gave it. She died a natural death three years ago at the age of 94", Ellen said and smiled, "of course, a lot of people doubted me, but there was nothing they could do; the testament had been changed to include me, Allen Whittmore, as the sole and rightful heir to Rosebridge Manor". Kanda, who had listened intently to her story, nodded.

"And you chose this disguise because you'd be able to control Rosebridge Manor that way", Kanda stated.

"Exactly. My relatives might have wanted to marry me to somebody in order to get the manor. Truth to be told, I do not care about this manor, but I secured it for the Earl, that's why I cannot let it fall into human hands", Ellen explained. Kanda didn't comment on that, but there was another thing that interested him.

"So your real name is Garnet Whittmore", he said and Ellen nodded.

"Not even Mana knew this name… I have always been Ellen, and then Ellen Walker…"

"Then I probably owe you thanks", Kanda said and Ellen looked at him in surprise. "That you confide in me", he explained. Ellen smiled and nodded.

"You're welcome", she replied. On an afterthought she added, "but don't call me Garnet".

"Don't worry. You'll always be the beansprout for me", Kanda teased and Ellen snorted.

"Hh. I'll have you sleep in the stables, my dear friend", Ellen said with a grin, crossing her arms over her chest, "you might find good company in Wedgewood there, he tends to end up sleeping in the straw if he drank a bit too much on his rides".

"Don't try to be funny. Wedgewood is worse than Rabi, I prefer you're company and a bed to him and straw", the general said, making Ellen laugh.

"In that case you shall receive a bed and my company", she announced, smiling at him cheekily. Kanda returned it with a smirk:

"I am much obliged, Sir Whittmore".

_To be continued_

**Notes:**

Tch. Got longer than I expected! **lol** I hope Wedgewood was bearable **snicker**.

Feedback is very, very welcome. There are quite a few things in this chapter that make me nervous


	19. Chapter 19

**_Author's Notes:_**

_Sorry for the wait. Here's the next chapter and it's a bit shorter than most. Oh well. _

_I've been inspired by my English Literature seminar for one particular scene in this chapter... Do you think you can figure out which? Hihi. I've been reading too many gothic novels lately (that's also a reason why I'm slow at updating, that and because I'm writing other small projects at the moment). _

_Anyway, I hope you can still enjoy this chapter :3_

**_Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino_**

* * *

Ellen and Kanda spent the afternoon walking around the vastness of Rosebridge Manor and its surrounding lands. The house had about forty rooms, most were splendidly furnished, but didn't seem to be uses and smelled of old age. However, Kanda also had noted that the beansprout's room seemed worst of all when it came to be too filled with furniture and random objects and decoration. He had no clue why the girl liked to surround herself with this feeling of being confined by unanimated objects. But Kanda doubted that this had real relevance, she was just curious like that. The dark haired exorcist also learnt that Rosebridge Manor was open to travellers and some times people would be invited to have parties in one of the many rooms. Miss Lane, the woman responsible for taking care of the house, seemed to know how to make profit with the old manor.

"Master Whittmore?", a servant spoke up when Ellen was showing Kanda the library – which Kanda wasn't particularity interested in, "Miss Lane has returned. She expects you for dinner". Ellen smiled politely.

"Tell her we will be there shortly", she replied and the servant bowed, leaving them to their business.

"Aren't you the one in charge here?", Kanda wondered and had Ellen laugh gently.

"Of course, the whole manor belongs to me, but I am always away from the lands, so she takes care of it. She seems to be particularly fond of forgetting that this house belongs to me and not her. As I've pretended to be merely 15 when I first came here, she also assumed something like a guardian role, even though I assured her that I already had one".

"I see… So she tries everything in her might to get this manor?"

"Of course, and I can't even condemn her for it. It is a nice house after all… It's unfortunate for her that I am not an impostor but the real heir to the Whittmores", Ellen replied with a smile, "but we should not make her wait. Let us go down to the dining room". Kanda didn't argue with that and let himself be led down to a big room with a long table and many chairs. A woman was sitting at the other end and Kanda only needed a glance to see that she had quite hostile emotions towards Ellen. And she didn't even try to hide them that much as she didn't smile when greeting nor was she very polite.

"You're late, young Master Whittmore", Miss Lane said and studied the two with a frown, "you have a bad habit of coming without notice and then you bring strangers into the house?".

"It is very nice seeing you in good health, Miss Lane", Ellen replied politely and sat down at the opposite end of the table, Kanda next to her. The general found this behaviour rather stupid, as Miss Lane had to nearly shout to be heard with her scratchy and horrible sounding voice. "You must pardon me, but I see no problem in returning to this house whenever I like…", she said and Miss Lane glared at her. "And it should be me casting a doubtful eye on the people you let into my mansion in my absence". Miss Lane didn't reply to that so Ellen continued with a smile, "Let me introduce you to my friend then! This is Yu Kanda a fellow student I've met on my travels. We will be staying for an indefinite time, but I am sure that you don't mind, Miss Lane".

"Oh, not at all", she hissed and turned to Kanda. When he saw her glare at him he had no qualms about glaring right back at her, which seemed to make her pretty uncertain. "Hum, well… Where is the food! We're waiting!!", she shouted and a servant went running out of the room.

"Please, Miss Lane, there is no reason to be hasty, we have enough time", Ellen said joyously and Kanda started to think that the girl had a very sadistic streak hidden somewhere.

"Of course, but where is that stupid Wedgewood fellow again?! He was supposed to be here for dinner!", Lane growled in irritation, probably trying to project her frustration onto the poor Wedgewood.

"Wedgewood? He's probably getting delayed somewhere, he is out with my horse. If he's not back yet then that means that he found something interesting on the way. We should not concern ourselves about it, it is David we are talking about"

"I'm not worrying! I just don't approve of his lack of manners!", Miss Lane argued and Ellen had to laugh again, thanking the servant for the wine she received.

"Well then, I hope that we'll have a nice stay here, my friend", the girl said, raising her glass towards Kanda. The general snorted but did the same.

"Tch. I hope we won't be disturbed too much", he said and Ellen laughed.

"No, no", she replied and smiled at Miss Lane, "we won't".

-

Kanda received a room close to Ellen's, connected to hers by the chamber with the piano grande in it.

"I hope it suits your tastes", Ellen said, sitting at the bench in front of the window, looking out over the moor. Kanda looked around the room; it was pretty large and not filled with useless junk like Ellen's room was. He had a bed, wooden tiles on the floor, partially covered by rugs, a chimney, a washing basin, armchairs next to a table and book shelves and a writing table with pen and paper on it. The walls had paintings of landscapes and other sceneries on them.

"When and how will we meet the people from the society?", Kanda asked and got out of the jacket, hanging it over the wooden board of the bed.

"Tomorrow morning. We will go out to town to do a bit of reading in the local library and then we'll see where we'll get", she told him, still looking out into the night. Kanda frowned because the plan seemed to be pretty sloppy, but then he walked over to the window, looking out as well. "The moor by night. It is a strange place to be, don't you think? Dangerous, mysterious but also beautiful".

"Hn…", Kanda replied, looking out as well. After some silence Kanda decided to speak up again: "if you don't mind, I would like to ask you some questions about the last mission". Ellen turned her head away from the window to look at Kanda.

"I expected that"

"Why do you always need to wait for me to ask the questions?", Kanda wondered in irritation and sat on his bed, pulling off his boots, "if you know that I want to get answers why don't you just speak up by yourself?". Ellen chuckled in amusement, shrugging cheerfully. "Stupid beansprout", Kanda muttered.

"Well, ask your questions. I'm all ears", Ellen said, rising from the bench to sit on a stool next to Kanda's bed, pulling open the drawers of his night table. Kanda watched her rummage through its contents with a frown, but when she shut it without actually taking something out, he finally spoke up again.

"I actually have two things that occupy me; first the artefact that you seem to want to avoid talking about", here Ellen smiled, "and the seal. Whereas you do not need to reply to my first question, I think that I have the right to know about the second topic".

"I'll reply. To both", Ellen said, putting her hands on lap, closing her eyes in thought. She opened them again and started to speak: "As I told you I do not know much about the artefacts. They have been lost over time or back during the Three Days of Darkness. Some of these artefacts are clearly weapons, weapons used in the last Great War before the earth was swallowed by darkness. The weapons and other objects were made out of something which just goes by the simple title "Essence". Essence has a similar magical power like Innocence therefore it attracts humans. Other than Innocence the Essence can be directly shaped by mere humans, turning the material into various things. Humans today still are looking for objects with mythical powers, are they not? The influence of the Essence's existence has remained very strong until this day, but not one piece of Essence can be found".

"They're lost", Kanda mumbled what Ellen had already mentioned various times. The white haired girl nodded in agreement.

"Exactly", she affirmed, then she continued: "Some of the Essence can be used against evil but others start conflicts and wars…"

"I see… But assuming that one of the Essence artefacts is found, then it could be used by both sides, right?"

"That's what I said, true. But maybe I have to make myself clear: everyone could draw on the power of the Essence, but that doesn't actually mean that you can use it. If you have an essence causing phenomena, then whoever holds on to it can profit, but he or she cannot use the Essence to control these phenomena to their likings. It's not like Innocence where only compatibility and strength of the heart and mind matter".

"Then what sense did Essence have?", Kanda wondered with a frown, "if you can't use it then it seems pretty senseless…"

"Essence doesn't need to have a sense. Well, my point is that even if the weapons weren't lost today they would still have no meaning for humans or the exorcists. The weapons could only be used by the Earl of Millennium and the warriors fighting before the Great Flood", Ellen explained and Kanda looked at her in some surprise.

"The Earl could? I thought that –"

"Used. Kanda Yu, I said _used_ – as weapons. Of course, if an exorcist got hold of a weapon made of Essence then they could _profit_ of its immense power, but they would not be able to _use_ it".

"Tch. I didn't think that this would be so troublesome. This somehow adds a new danger to the war", Kanda hissed and then he looked at Ellen, "but why can't we exorcists use them? Aren't we the successors of those fighting against the Earl before the Three Days of Darkness?".

"In these days humans are either normal or compatible with Innocence. Today the world is painted in black and white in the people's heads… The world before the Three Days of Darkness had been more ambiguous, the lines were draw less clearly. Either way, to control Essence it needs more than being either compatible with Innocence or Dark Matter. It needs shades of grey", the girl explained and Kanda frowned. How he hated these cryptic answers!

"Fine. But we cannot just forget about Essence, because it can be potentially dangerous", Kanda summarized and Ellen sighed.

"They are lost. Why do you worry so much about it?", she asked with a smile and Kanda wrinkled his nose.

"Hmpf. Because I just can't help being suspicious. But let's leave this matter aside now. What about the seal?". Ellen nodded.

"It has been put on you by Marian Cross to lessen the unexpected side-effects of the Lotus Charm. I cannot renew the seal, I could only break it and I'm sure that this is not in your intention".

"I don't know. Is it?", Kanda asked in an annoyed tone.

"The fact that I am so sensitive to Akuma makes you sensitive to them as well. You do remember what happened in the capital. That was without a seal and you also felt it back in the Akuma infested ruins. The seal is weakening and there is nothing that you or I can do against it but hope that it does not break until we have found a means to renew it or to get rid of this side-effect", Ellen explained with a serious expression, studying Kanda carefully.

"Great", Kanda snorted, "and what do you intend to do about it? You don't seem to know how to deal with it"

"Until we find Marian Cross I can only observe the development of it. I do not think that we will be faced with a lot of high level Akuma in the near future anyway. If what you feel and hear is only a mild form of my curse then you will do fine as long as I am with you".

"And what makes you so sure?", Kanda wondered, "Xavier has died because he was there with me!". Ellen looked at him with a pitying expression.

"This still hurts you until today…", she said and Kanda froze.

"Nonsense! I just don't want to make the same mistake twice", he argued with a snort. Ellen smiled at him and nodded. Kanda didn't think it necessary to assure her of the fact that he had gotten over it (because, quite frankly, he had not) and let his thoughts drift back to the curse that forced him to hear the _machinery_ of Akuma.

"I still do not understand how you, a Noah who is perfectly aware of what Akuma are and how they come to be, turned your husband into one. I know you loved him, but it still does not make sense…", he said after some time, his voice quite low, but loud enough for Ellen to catch it. She raised her head to look at him and Kanda met her eyes. "What was there to gain?".

"I… hoped to…", she started but broke off before finishing. The white haired woman lowered her head, looking at her hands, "I do not think that this is relevant", she said and when she looked back up she had her perfect polite smile on her lips, "is it?". Kanda frowned, but he just shook his head, not asking any more about it. Ellen rose from the chair, then she smiled down at Kanda. "It is time we go to sleep. Rest your thoughts for a while, we have a lot to do tomorrow", she said. Kanda nodded and Ellen's smile became gentle. "Good night".

"Good night", the General replied and Ellen left his room, leaving Kanda alone. He decided to take her advice and just stop thinking about it too much. Normally, he didn't bother losing too much sweat over things where thinking would get him no where, but when it came to Ellen he had to be careful. He undressed, slipped under the covers of the bed and switched off the light. He listened to the foreign noises Rosebridge Manor had to offer, studied the different kind of nightly darkness and the pale light coming from the window. From his position Kanda could still see the mist ghosting over the moor and while he was gazing at it in silence, his eyes slid close and he surrendered himself to sleep.

-

Kanda was standing in the fresh morning air. It was the hour before the morning sun would start to rise in the east, before the grey and blue veil that covered the lands would be lifted and red and orange would appear on the horizon. Kanda felt oddly content and serene about the whole situation. It was dreamlike, probably he was still sleeping. He looked about himself and found the manor at some distance behind him, before him lay the vast landscape where only the occasional tree or bush was to be seen. Thin layers of fog covered the grassy fields in small translucent clouds, ghosting over the ground like they were living creatures. In the distance Kanda could make out an area where more fog was gathered and in its midst he though he could see a figure, but its whiteness was swallowed up by the fog. Kanda decided to walk forward, heading into the direction of this strange phenomenon. His mind, like this scenery, did seem somewhat fuzzy as he was moving, his boots often sinking into the muddy underground. As he advanced he could hear the faint noise of wind blowing through the grass and he perceived the smell of the moor, its dampness mingled with earth, grass and the clean air of an autumn's morning. The winds continued sending the fog over the plains and the wall of fog before him was somewhat lifted and he could see the white figure again. His mind cleared up somewhat and he was reminded of the day in summer, in China. He had met her there; a white figure standing amidst golden fields. The rich colours of the summer had been dulled into the faded grey hues of autumn and she was now a white ghost standing among wafts of mist. Ellen wore a beautiful but simple white dress with long sleeves and the hem of it reached to the floor. It was spotless even though she was standing on the boggy field. Her white hair was loose and swayed softly whenever a breeze caught hold of it. She turned her head towards Kanda when he approached further, wanting to inquire of her what she was doing.

"Don't you like the atmosphere of this autumn morning out on the moor?", she whispered and Kanda stopped. Her voice was very melodious and almost seemed like a long extended sigh, rather than a normal question. She turned her head back and looked out into the distance, "the melancholy, the desolation of the last moments of the shady hours between night and dawn. The solitude…". She uttered another long sigh and Kanda wondered what passion had seized her now. Ellen turned around, facing Kanda with a solemn expression, "the time we have is but short-lived. We both are confined to the twilight, we must find our way in the Grey, lest we…", the wind rose up and swallowed the last bit of her sentence. Ellen approached him slowly, each of her steps swirling up new fog that almost engulfed her. She opened her arms and put them around Kanda. The General let it happen and closed his eyes, feeling how her warmth spread over to him. Her hands moved over his arms and back and Kanda could hear the blood pulsating, he could hear her heartbeat and his heartbeat, he smelled her, he felt her very closely, heard her take deep breaths and almost forgot that he had to breathe as well. He was in a dreamlike state again and she gently pushed him down to the floor and into the mud. As he lay on the wet ground, almost sinking in, he could see her over him and she touched his face with muddy hands, leaving behind wet trails. She bent over him, lowering her face down to his. Her hot breath touched his face and his parted lips as she put a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

-

Kanda was a bit disturbed when he woke from his dreams. He sat up in bed and stared out of the window. Dawn was casting gentle reddish colours over the sky, it must have been early in the morning. He found it peculiar that he dreamt of Ellen like this, peculiar but not outrageous. He did not believe that dreams conveyed some hidden desire on his part, nor did he believe that they could act as visions (even though his grandmother would have argued with him about that), so he just blamed the funny atmosphere of the moor for his dream and decided not to think about it any longer. Unable to get any more sleep, Kanda got out of bed and walked over to the window, pushing it open to let some fresh air in. It was chilly, but not cold and gazing at the landscape before him made Kanda feel quite peaceful. Still not able to let go of the dream completely, he looked out if he could see someone walking about the fields, but no one was to be seen. After some more minutes, Kanda closed the window and decided to go check on his companion. He opened the door to the room with the piano and crossed it. He deliberated knocking out of courtesy, but he did not care about being polite that early in the morning. Therefore he just pulled the door open and slipped into the room. Everything was quiet, the windows let in little light because the curtains were blocking it. Kanda looked around and could see Ellen lying in bed, still sleeping. It was a bit hard manoeuvring through all the junk that she had in her room but he made it to the side of her bed without disturbing her sleep or hitting his foot on anything. He looked down on her sleeping form; she seemed very pale in the dim light, pale and fragile and beautiful.

"Well… She's not out on the moor after all", he thought and wondered why exactly he had come to her room. Kanda hesitated, but then he lifted his hand and touched her face with his fingers, tracing the mark of the curse. She did not stir and continued sleeping, which was very convenient for Kanda, because he would not have known how to explain himself. "Tch. I'm making a fool out of myself. Why am I even here?", he wondered and with a last look at Ellen, he turned around and went back to his own room.

-

About two hours later, Kanda could hear the piano in the other room. He got up from his armchair and walked over to the door, pulling it open. Ellen, again in her male clothes, was sitting at the piano, playing a soft tune.

"Good morning", Ellen greeted with a bright smile and Kanda just glared at her, "why the long face? Didn't you sleep well?"

"The moor got to my head", Kanda replied and got to see a slightly confused expression on Ellen's face. He shook his head. "Never mind. When will we finally search for this stupid society?". Ellen laughed and got up.

"Well if you're that impatient then why don't we head down for a quick breakfast? We can leave after that and see how far we'll get". Kanda didn't oppose this suggestion and they went down to have breakfast, luckily in silence as both Lane and Wedgewood didn't come to join them. Kanda shortly wondered what had become of the annoying fellow, but he did not care about him enough to inquire.

"She won't have killed him", Kanda though while eating porridge, "and if she did that'd be just one annoying person less on this world".

After breakfast the two got ready to go out to the next town.

"We'll take the carriage, it does give off a better impression than two noblemen getting to town by foot", Ellen said with a smile on her face as she walked over to a small carriage. The driver was lifting his hat in greetings and the two climbed inside. There was just enough space for two people to sit in and Kanda just felt a little bit strange to have Ellen's body so near to his. His dream still wouldn't let go of him, maybe it was not surprising as the dream had been… nice? Kanda frowned which earned him an inquiring look from Ellen.

"Is something the matter?", she wondered and Kanda shook his head.

"I just had a funny dream, nothing worth mentioning", he said and Ellen laughed.

"I understand, the atmosphere does inspire all kinds of fantastic dreams", she explained, which somehow gave Kanda the impression that she might have been involved in _inspiring_ this dream in some way or another.

"I see", he muttered and watched the forest pass by while they were travelling. The town really lay quite near, it only took them about a quarter of an hour to reach it.

"Well then, let us go arrange things then", Ellen said when getting out of the carriage. Kanda observed how she looked around, alertness was visible on her face. It would be interesting to know just how she knew how to meddle with the world around her. He couldn't believe that the Noah's magic was so powerful that she was able to directly influence or control people's actions, but he knew that she was quite able.

"Let us go into the library", Ellen suggested after a while and Kanda followed her into a building situated at the main square of the town. The library was a big building, probably too big to host only books, but once Kanda got out of the entrance hall he again felt this unnerving suffocation of an overstuffed room. The rooms of the actual library had high ceilings and there was no wall free of bookshelves, overloaded with all kinds of books. Ellen led Kanda to a darker corner of the library where the shelves were blocking the light from the windows and lamps. He found there a small table with a couple of armchairs arranged around it.

"The reading corners are nice, but this part of the library is a bit dark and unfrequented", Ellen said with a smile and Kanda turned towards the books. After he had read some of the titles he knew that they landed in some occult part and he picked out some books at random to study them.

"What are we doing here?", he wondered and Ellen smiled.

"We're preparing", she replied and pulled out a book, seemingly at random, then she sat down with it. Kanda frowned but did the same, looking into the book when she was going through it. "This is no book of relevance to us, it is actually very silly, but it is a 18th century account of strange phenomena occurring all over Britain and the continent". Kanda raised an eyebrow and Ellen smiled at him. "I already checked them out, most of them were not connected to Innocence".

"And what did you do when there was Innocence?", Kanda asked with a glare and Ellen smiled at him. "Destroy them?"

"No, I cannot destroy Innocence. It would send the balance off, you know that Innocence doesn't forgive easily", she replied and studied Kanda, "some I did report to the Earl and for the others I alarmed finders or people from the village as to attract the Black Order. I have to keep the balance up. The Earl knows and he is fine with it". Kanda looked at her with a doubtful expression.

"Is he really? Couldn't be the Heart he is looking for be among the Innocence cubes?", he asked, "he can't possibly be fine with the fact that he loses the opportunity to destroy Innocence because of you".

"I understand your reserve about this topic, but it is how it is. I usually do not go out to look for Innocence, Akuma do that work. But I get around a lot and it's only natural that I find Innocence from time to time". Kanda didn't reply anything to that, he believed her, but it did seem a bit thoughtless on the Earl's part.

"Anyway, if the book is useless then why did you pick it?", he wondered and Ellen smiled slyly.

"Because there ought to be some people that are very interested in such accounts", she said and then she raised her index finger to her lips as if to tell him to be quiet. Kanda just looked at her with a confused expression but only moments later a young man came to their shady corner.

"Ah, good day gentlemen", he greeted and Kanda looked up at him. He must have been in his early twenties, judging from his clothes a member of the upper class and he had long dark blond hair and a very agreeable face, but he did seem a bit nervous.

"A good day to you too", Ellen replied and closed the book, "it's rare to meet a fellow in this obscure corner of the library".

"Y… yes, I agree. It's usually deserted", he said and looked from Ellen to Kanda, but the Japanese realized that he averted his eyes very quickly as if he was scary to look at.

"Tch. Then it must be quite a _coincidence_ to meet you here", Kanda said and looked over at Ellen who just chuckled. The young man gave a start when Kanda spoke and turned to him, nodding.

"Indeed, how peculiar", he said, laughing uneasily. Ellen put her book on the table and the young man dared to spare it a glance.

"Oh! This is exactly the book I have been looking for!", he said and Ellen looked up at him, feigning surprise.

"Is it? Then we must have the same field of interest! But take it, my friend, I have already read it before and wanted to shortly refresh my memory on the strange tale connected to the tower in the French forest", she said with a friendly and easygoing air, then she held out the book to the young man. Kanda rolled his eyes, but she was a superb actor and she always was prepared very well, he did have to praise her for that.

"Amazing!", the youth said, instantly captivated by the charming Ellen, "you must be knowledgeable! Indeed, this is very surprising!". Ellen laughed and rose from the chair, Kanda doing the same. It seemed to him that right now he was merely decoration, but he didn't really care.

"My dear friend, we have seen what we came here for, what do you think about retiring?", she asked Kanda.

"Let's go", he said and the three of them walked out of the library.

"If you allow me to introduce myself", the youth spoke up, "I am Charles Dobrée, I am currently staying in this town with some friends".

"We arrived only yesterday", Ellen said, "my friend and I were travelling through all parts of the empire and we wanted to rest a bit here. This is", she pointed to Kanda.

"Yu Kanda", he said curtly and bowed slightly.

"And I am Allen Whittmore"

"Whittmore you said? So you're the heir of Rosebridge Manor?", Charles wondered and Ellen nodded. The young man laughed slightly. "This must be fate I dare say! Yesterday I found a young man by the name of Wedgewood lying near my lodgings! He drank a bit too much and could not mount his horse to get back home. From his slurred talking I could decipher that he was a guest of the Whittmores over at Rosebridge. I offered a bed for the night and he gladly accepted, I guess he is still asleep". Kanda looked over at Ellen. Now, that he really called genius. All those little coincidences…

"So this is the power of the Noah of Destiny", Kanda thought to himself as the two continued chatting.

"Why don't you come over to my house when you have some free time? I want to repay you for taking care of my cousin", Ellen said and Charles nodded eagerly.

"It would be an honour!", he replied.

"Feel free to bring your friends as well, my house is open for anyone and if you want to have free lodgings then be my guest", she offered and the young man nodded again, flustered slightly. "Then you're welcome to come whenever you want. Well then, we will now return home, we have some very interesting manuscripts to read, right?"

"Hnn, yes", Kanda agreed, glad to be rid of the young fellow.

"Then good bye! It was a pleasure making your acquaintance!", Charles said, then he shook hands with both of them, before withdrawing to his own house.

"Well done", Kanda complimented and Ellen laughed, "you're better than I thought".

"What did you expect?", she asked and they walked back to the carriage to retire for the remainder of the day.

-

Now with the first connections to the secret society established, Ellen and Kanda just had to wait for them to appear. Kanda wondered how they were supposed to get the Innocence if there was any, but he was sure that Ellen would come up with a plan. It did seem a bit stupid to him to rely on her instead of going at it his own way.

"Why couldn't we just barge into their hideout, search for Innocence and get it if there is any?", Kanda wondered as they had tea in Ellen's study.

"Because we do not want to attract unwanted attention. And we have to keep in mind that they might be able to use the Innocence if they actually have one. It is always better to go about these things carefully", she explained, "if there is any Innocence we'll get it for sure, you don't need to worry about that".

"I'm not worrying, it's just annoying to waste so much time waiting". Ellen laughed and put her teacup down.

"Good, follow me", she suggested and rose from the armchair, walking over to the balcony. Kanda followed her with his eyes, then he rose as well, joining her. She left the glass doors open and looked out into the sky. It was nice afternoon, nearing five o'clock and the sky was nearly untouched by clouds. "Watch the sky", Ellen told her companion and Kanda looked up. He watched the clouds pass by and then the wind started to blow. He wanted to turn his head towards Ellen, but she just repeated what she had said before. So he did and he saw that more clouds gathered until the sun was blocked and it became dark. The wind became stronger and not much later the first drops of rain fell from the sky, turning into a true rainstorm not long after. Ellen tugged at Kanda's sleeve and smiled at him. "Let us go inside, this is not the time to be out in the rain", she said and went inside. Kanda looked up at the sky in surprise, then he turned around and followed her.

"How can you even control the weather?"

"That's magic, Yu Kanda. Magic controls elements. It is honestly not that exceptional", she replied chuckling. Kanda frowned in irritation, but he didn't ask further questions. Magic was something that did not require explanations if you believed in it. And if you didn't and could explain it by science then it was not magic.

Kanda and Ellen's tea time was later interrupted by a servant coming to get them.

"Sir, there are some gentlemen in the entrance hall. They were surprised by the sudden storm and ask for a place to stay until the weather clears up". Kanda threw Ellen a side-way glance, but she just smiled.

"I will be down shortly, get them some dry clothes and lead them into the sitting room. Oh, and order the kitchen to make enough food, will you?"

"Yes, Sir", the servant replied then he left the room, closing the door.

"How did you know that they were out and would come here?", Kanda wondered, you weren't watching them somehow, were you?"

"No, nothing of that kind", Ellen replied cheerfully, going up to her room to get into fresh clothes. "There are only so much things that one can do in this town, hunting is one of them. And there is this rumour that the moor and forest host strange creatures", she explained and pulled on another vest.

"Creatures? What do you mean by that?"

"Akuma. I've been here before as a Noah, taking Akuma with me. And Marian Cross, who had stayed her some time ago, surely did his part to spread the rumour", she explained and Kanda was confused by that. "Don't worry about it. Everything I do serves a cause", she continued when she saw his expression. Kanda just shook his head.

"Let's get this over with", he suggested and the two of them went down to where they would finally meet the young members of the secret society.

_To be continued_

**Notes:**

First I wanted to add another scene here, but I got lazy. X3

So, what do you think?


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Notes:**

It took me a lot of effort to go back to work on this chapter. I somehow lost inspiration for it and I needed to go through the whole story again to know what I should put in this chapter. I have planned ahead, but it's getting a bit fuzzy (and I managed to lose my notes – again).

Anyway, the chapter is finally finished, but it's not that interesting I fear. And I have the feeling that my writing for this chapter is rather bad… ***unhappy***

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

* * *

Kanda didn't bother to remember all the names of Science of God's members. He did recall the nervous Frenchman (Charles Dobrée or something along these lines) and then there was this guy called Burnett, who seemed to be the head of the society. But apart from the two all the others seemed really unimportant.

Ellen was a very agreeable host, welcoming the group heartily and then guiding them to a set table. Kanda was not very pleased to know that those guys seemed to be not only interested in "Mister Whittmore" but also in his exotic Asian companion. However, as food was served and it was proper to engage in conversation with the noble host, not many attempted to speak to him. The Frenchman next to him was constantly moving around in his seat, probably very uncomfortable next to the gloomy foreigner. Upon Ellen's inquiry Kanda found out that the fidgeting youth next to him was the youngest member of the society. He was 19 and had just started both his studies and membership of the secret society. His father, who had been involved in the Royal Society and had known Cross in his earlier days, was his ticket to Science of God. He was very interested in occult things ever since his younger sister died a "mysterious death" which he had witnessed. Kanda thought he was a bit too enthusiastic and probably quite naïve as well. Burnett, the 24 year old leader of the group, was a different matter. He seemed pretty learned despite his young age and aware of what he was doing. He always had such a mysterious shine to his eyes, which betrayed the calculating mind behind his agreeable face only to those who suspected it to be there in the first place. Kanda was sure that he was as meddlesome as Ellen and therefore chose not to like him. The others were, as he had guessed before, pretty uninteresting and Kanda didn't bother to listen to their stories.

"But enough of us", Burnett started and turned to look at Ellen with a charming smile, "what about you? We shamelessly accepted your hospitality without even inquiring more about your person". Ellen returned the smile.

"As I had already said, my name is Allen Whittmore, I am the heir of Rosebridge Manor and to the family title of the Whittmores. My friend and I travel a lot that is why I am rarely seen here. We returned because we wanted to study some documents we have recently stumbled across", she explained and raised her hand in Kanda's direction, "my companion is Yu Kanda. We met in Asia, however he has spent years in England, he's as fine an Englishman as I am". Kanda just glared ahead and no one was too keen to ask him any questions. Ellen then turned back to Burnett. "Even though I am rarely here, I do know the people of this town. You seem to be visitors". Burnett nodded in agreement.

"Exactly, Mister Whittmore. We have come here to hunt game. This is a good spot to shoot some deer, or so I've heard", he said and Kanda knew that this was some fabricated story to cover their little secret society and their real purpose.

"Oh, is that so! Then I can warmly advice you to require the assistance of my cousin Wedgewood. He's a very passionate hunter", she said and looked over to Charles, who blushed and nodded eagerly. Kanda wondered what his problem was. "If you'd like I give you permission to hunt on my lands, the forest connecting to the moor of Rosebridge manor is a very interesting spot to hunt. Of course, you're also welcome to lodge in my house, I have plenty rooms and studies for you". Another look to the Frenchman told Kanda that he was very eager to stay here, he had probably been caught by Ellen's charms.

"Pitiful…", Kanda thought and snorted, which went mostly unnoticed, but the Frenchman gave a start and tried to avoid looking at his neighbour as best as he could.

"T… This would be a good idea, wouldn't it Francis?", the young man managed to ask and Burnett looked at him. "We were looking for new lodgings".

"True, we were, there aren't many free rooms in this town and they are all awfully expensive. And there's only this meagre library where there isn't room enough for us to sit together and enjoy each other's company".

"If this is your only worry, then you are free to move to my house for as long as you wish. I will not ask you any money, neither will I bother to disturb you and your friends", Ellen said, laughing slightly in amusement.

"I see. You're a very good fellow, Mister Whittmore", Burnett said and Ellen laughed again, "we have to see with the people we are currently staying with. But maybe Charles wants to stay for the night?", Burnet said with a sly smile and turned to the Frenchman who widened his eyes.

"I? Oh, I…", he coughed to get over his excitement, "Yes, I would be pleased to take you up on your offer, count on me Francis". Ellen smiled and Burnett laughed in amusement. It seemed to Kanda as if both of them had achieved exactly what they wanted and that things were going according to plan.

-

Not too long after they finished eating, the rain stopped and the members of Science of God were able to return to the town.

"This was a very agreeable stay", Burnett said when he shook hands with Ellen, "it would be my pleasure to repeat it". The white haired girl nodded politely and bid them farewell, but Charles stayed behind, lingering in the entrance hall.

"Don't worry Charles, just stay with Mr. Whittmore and enjoy yourself", Burnett said and the Frenchman dared to grin at him as a reply, "we plan to leave this town soon", Burnett explained and Ellen acknowledged it with a nod of her head, "but maybe Charles wants to stay a little longer?", he said cheekily and Charles blushed in embarrassment.

"Nothing of that kind! I am just intrigued by Rosebridge Manor!", Charles said and looked at Ellen from the corners of his eyes. It was pretty obvious that he was not intrigued by the house, but by its master, but nobody found it necessary to state this. Burnett just laughed, said another "adieu" and left with the other members, promising to return sooner or later to fetch their youngest straying member. When the maid closed the door, Ellen turned to their visitor and smiled.

"The maid will now guide you up to your room. You are free to explore the rooms and libraries. My friend and I will now retire. Fetch me if you need anything", she said and Charles nodded, leaving with the servant.

"Is it a good idea to have your newest acquisition stay in this house?", Kanda wondered when they walked up the stairs towards Ellen's room. She looked at him in question and Kanda snorted, "that guy seems as if he's fallen for you, even though you pretend to be a man". Ellen laughed lightly and opened the door.

"I do not think that he has fallen in love with me, but I do manage to intrigue people", she said and Kanda frowned, "I do not mind though".

"Tch. I'd be surprised if you did. Luring men into your bed seems to be something you're quite proficient in".

"Now stop sounding so bitter, Yu Kanda", Ellen said in amusement and closed the door after him, "Why does my _proficiency_ as you call it disturb you so much?". She sat down on her bed and pulled the tie out of her hair, which made her look very female despite her current disguise. Kanda watched her for some moments, then he snorted.

"Because it is part of your Noah meddling. There's no need to sell your body for the Earl", he argued. Ellen didn't pay him much attention and continued to draw her fingers through her hair with a calm expression.

"Don't be silly. I do this because I can. It's not as if I hated doing it. It is a well known fact that men let themselves be controlled by women. We women can offer the sexual pleasures that men desire". Kanda wrinkled his nose. "This is part of my human side as well. You should not hate me for it if you want to have me".

"I do not want to-", Kanda started arguing, but stopped and shook his head in annoyance, "I have not made advances of this kind, have I? Nor have I reacted to your teasing", he told her and she looked up at him with a calm expression. "Why do you think that I would want to claim you that way?"

"Oh I don't", Ellen said innocently and smiled, "but aren't women prone to mix up the heart and the mind?"

"If you want to mix them then do. However it will be more difficult for me to win you over if you do", Kanda replied and Ellen had to laugh, standing up again.

"Well. Maybe you just have to adapt", she suggested and Kanda snorted.

"If I must then I will", he said and she looked at him in barely concealed surprise, but then her smile returned.

"Let us change topics. How about we have a look at Marian Cross' documents?", she asked and Kanda nodded. He did not mind the change of topic, he actually quite welcomed it, like this he could postpone the need to ponder about his reply. Ellen walked over to an old looking dresser and pulled open one of the many drawers. Kanda saw a great many parchments and rolls in there. The white haired woman took out the packet they had received from Rabi and returned with it to Kanda's side. She invited him to go to the study connected to her room. Kanda walked to the door with her and pushed it open. They took a seat in armchairs next to a table and Ellen opened the packet. Kanda observed the landscape through the window while Ellen was busy; it was a very nice day outside, nothing of the calm, cloudless evening betrayed the sudden downpour which had forced the society to seek shelter in this manor not many hours ago.

"How far does her power reach?", Kanda wondered to himself, "where are its bounds and limitations? Where lays its strength? To some extend she can even manipulate life and death". Kanda looked over at Ellen who now laid one of the pages out in front of her. His gaze travelled to the curse mark and lingered there, while he avoided staring too long at the unblemished forehead. "However, this power doesn't seem absolute or she would not have tried to turn her husband into an Akuma. Which means that she does have limits…".

"Do I have your attention?", Ellen asked and Kanda looked at her face. She smiled when he remained silent and put her finger on the document. "I just had a short glance at it", she continued and her finger moved down, "but it seems that Rabi handed us just the right document". Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"How could he do that? I thought you just required a random part of General Cross' research", he said and Ellen smiled, "so it wasn't random, was it?".

"This part of Marian Cross' research is what made me interested in him in the first place. He is very able as a scientist but he has also come very far in researching Innocence and Dark Matter".

"He learned from you, he has to be able as a sorcerer after all", Kanda replied flatly and Ellen laughed.

"I do not bother to teach just anyone magic. I can deepen their understanding in certain aspects, but I do not teach those who have never performed magic before", she told him.

"Hn, so you wouldn't teach me magic", Kanda stated and Ellen smiled at him.

"I don't think that I need to, Yu Kanda", she replied and Kanda wasn't sure what to make of her answer.

"Well then. What is the content of these parchments?", the General wanted to know after some time. Ellen smiled and handed one of the sheets to him.

"I guess I have mentioned it before, but Marian Cross is the only person I know of that has successfully altered an Akuma", she said and Kanda nodded.

"Yes, I remember that you said that… But I can't really imagine how one could alter Akuma".

"It is no simple task, but for someone of Marian Cross' learning and understanding of both science and magic, it does not prove to be impossible. Akuma, even if they have a soul connected to them, are machines after all", Ellen explained and Kanda looked at her over the top of the parchment. She smiled and indicated that he should proceed to read the document he was holding. Kanda snorted but then he focussed on the neat writing on the paper.

"_Marian Cross, Research Report_

_Of the nature of Akuma and how to alter their functions or_

_Akuma Alteration_

_Thanks to the aforementioned confidential documents I have received from a source which will remain unnamed for the time being, I have been able to analyze the structure of an Akuma. It seemed to me, and I have been proven right by my recent research, that Akuma are made out of an organic, ancient matter that can only be forged in a machine called the "Plant" (also referred to as the "Egg" by other sources – this name stresses the fact that Dark Matter does contain a life force of its own, therefore I regard it as a fitting name as well). This matter is able to evolve and shift shape, depending on its current status and power supply. One can easily compare it to modern sciences; depending on outward circumstances and energy applied to it, it can change from one form to another. And as in Science, this transformation does follow rules. _

_However, the course of evolution will not be the subject of my current research, even though I will turn my attention towards it at a later date. _

_I would like to stress that my research has made it clear that Akuma are made out of three "ingredients"; these would be a nearly human skeleton made out of dark matter, the soul of a deceased human and a body of a human. This chimera will then form the Akuma with the skeleton as its basis, the human body as its shell (that it can discard at will) and the human soul as fuel. Soul and skeleton are inseparably merged, but the human body can be ignored when trying to manipulate the Akuma. _

_What makes the Akuma obey the Earl of Millennium is a certain spell that is cast on the Akuma skeleton that makes it impossible for the Akuma to go against the wishes of the Earl. This spell also does incorporate the innate instinct of the Akuma to kill humans in order to evolve. _

_This spell cannot be removed as it is deeply etched into the Dark Matter skeleton, but the spell can be overwritten or blocked out for a certain amount of time, making the Akuma, and more importantly the Dark Matter, subject of our own will._

_To rewrite these preset "orders" that the Dark Matter incorporates, a force equally power__ful is needed – Innocence (and sufficient knowledge of the basic spells needed for _Reversion_ and _Mind and Body Control_). _

_I collected a lot of material (namely paralyzed Akuma), which I then made to discard their human shape by control of my Innocence. Here I have found that it is easier to rewrite Level Two Akuma than Level One Akuma, because Level One only work on instinct, whereas Level Two Akuma are slightly influenced by the soul attached to them and have a mind of their own. It is also more rewarding to alter Akuma that can be useful to me. I have not yet managed to alter a Level Three Akuma. _

_By rewriting an Akuma I can make the following changes; they listen to what I say and order, they can act on their own, without only being able to do what the Earl tells them. Further have I been able to cancel their instinct to kill humans when they see them. However, I have also witnessed the limitations of my abilities, affirming that my research is still incomplete: the time this instinct is cancelled out is limited. Akuma need to feed on humans and when their hunger is too strong, the Dark Matter forces them to kill again. I have seen that I can postpone this to a duration of about 5 months. In order not to endanger people I have set them to self-destruct once they fell the need to kill. Unfortunately the soul is lost once the Akuma dies this way. This is the down side of what I have found out until now. _

_As has become evident, the seals I put on the Akuma are time restricted, but highly effective. The fact that Dark Matter can be controlled by Innocence suggests that there is a natural hierarchy between the two, whereas Innocence is superior._

_However, I have come to know of the fact that Dark Matter is able to leave imprints on humans, resulting in curses which make the affected human sensible to Dark Matter and the Akuma in general. I have not yet seen such a curse, but it is intriguing and I plan to find out what Dark Matter can alter in a human being. _

_I do not know, but I have a theory and until then I remain with my assumption that in fact Akuma are drawn to the superior Innocence, because it is able to destroy the Dark Matter, thus freeing the trapped soul."_

Kanda frowned while reading and when he put the research back down he looked at Ellen.

"And? What are your thoughts?", she wanted to know.

"My thoughts? I think it is outrageous to manipulate Akuma just to make them self-destruct after he can no longer control them. Souls are irrevocably lost when they are not destroyed by Innocence. If that fool is as brilliant as everybody thinks him to be then he could just have found a way to destroy them another way!", Kanda hissed and slammed his hand on the surface. Ellen didn't seem impressed and this only angered Kanda more. "Of course, you do not care, you control and destroy Akuma without wasting a thought on the souls!"

"Yes, I am a weak human", Ellen replied, which got Kanda looking at her in surprise. Ellen sighed and studied Kanda's face. "I pity Akuma, the best I can do is destroy them. I do not toy with them like other Noah do. I have a curse, if you haven't forgotten". Kanda lowered his eyes and snorted.

"I have not forgotten, but I still do not understand"

"You don't have to understand how my mind works when it's at its weakest", Ellen continued only adding to Kanda's confusion, "but let us return to Marian Cross' research. Don't you think that it might be helpful for your own problem?". Kanda frowned at her and looked back down at the text.

"My own problem? As I read this text does only hint at the fact that there are curses, but I am not cursed by Dark Matter, right? And I certainly am no Akuma. I don't see a connection", he told her and found Ellen smiling at him.

"You do not need to see an immediate connection, because the document does neither deal with the curse, nor with your problem", Ellen explained and Kanda snorted in annoyance, "it does however hint at the role of Innocence in forming seals. Of course, it's also a question of magic". Kanda listened to this in silence.

"I've understood that much. So Cross put the seal on me because he understood how the side-effects of your curse had worked its way into the Lotus Charm. And like the control of the Akuma, this seal has a time limit as well…"

"Yes, it seems that way, but it is not the same as with the Akuma. Your seal wears off, I think that it is not connected to any outward influences", Ellen mused and Kanda looked at her with a frown.

"How does it come that you do not know such crucial things? This problem all sprouts from your curse, right? And as far as I can judge you are way more powerful than Cross", he said and Ellen remained silent with an unreadable expression, "why don't you know how to renew the seal?"

"I can't get rid of my curse and I did not plan that you would be affected by it… I fear that parts have transferred to you while I performed the Lotus charms… Parts of me… and…", Ellen stopped and shook her head, "I do not know how to reverse it. I might be very strong but I cannot lift such curses"

"But you know how to break the seal, that means you must know how it functions", Kanda argued and Ellen sighed. He felt her distress but he was not sure where it came from. She didn't reply and Kanda snorted. What had she meant to say? Parts of me and? What? What was she still trying to cover? Kanda touched his hand to his face and sighed deeply. Ellen stayed silent, she must have known that he was thinking about the secrecy between them. Ellen knew things that she didn't want to tell him. Destiny… She never laid her cards open on the table, nobody knows what things she was constructing. A mere human, Kanda thought, could not see the bigger picture.

"There's a pattern behind this that I just don't get", Kanda thought morosely while Ellen seemed to be caught in thoughts of her own. Kanda frowned, but then he recalled something. "Patterns…! Wasn't there something about the markings on my chest?"

"Beansprout", Kanda started and Ellen lifted her head, "what exactly do these curse markings on my chest signify?", he wanted to know and she looked at him in unconcealed surprise. However, before she could either explain or deny him answers, they were interrupted by knocking. Ellen first didn't react and just looked at Kanda with slightly parted lips, then she pressed her lips into a thin line before she averted her eyes and turned to look at the door.

"Yes?", she asked in a light tone, putting a smile on her lips as soon as the door opened to reveal no other than the French guy.

"Am I disturbing your studies?", he asked when he saw Kanda's dark glare, but Ellen just shook her head, smiling agreeably.

"No, dear friend. Why don't you take a seat?", she suggested and pulled the papers towards her. Charles didn't hesitate for long, wearing almost a flattered smile just because he was invited to sit with them.

"Thank you. You know, I was very curious to hear about your travels and the texts you've read. You're not much older than I am, but still you seem to have done a lot!", he said. Ellen nodded with an understanding smile.

"I fortunately had the liberty to travel a lot. I've been to the continent various times because it offers such great things to study and Asia is very fascinating as well. Isn't it, dear companion?"

"I wouldn't know, but it has its merits and learning that is different than yours", Kanda replied.

"And when it comes to magic", Ellen said and Kanda could see the young man's eyes sparkle in delight, "then it has to offer a lot. Alchemy, Gods, spirits, monsters, rites, spells. It is truly an amazing place to be. But nothing goes over Europe my friend. We have a lot of amazing things as well, our way of dealing with them is just different". Kanda watched how Charles was fascinated by all the things Ellen told him. To him, the young man seemed nothing more than another of Ellen's tools. She used humans and Akuma the same way as long as they proved useful. He wondered what exactly he was to her. He knew that he was a tool as well, but still, he hoped that he was more in her eyes than something she could manipulate and then use until it was no longer helpful.

"Well you know, the occult is very intriguing. I inherited a couple of texts that attracted my interest. I have encountered some strange things and I've also experimented a bit with magic and alchemy. I am still an amateur but I often succeed. My friend?", Ellen asked and Kanda lifted his head. "Won't you show Charles the object we found?", she asked and Kanda frowned, "your sword", Ellen clarified and Kanda snorted. He didn't really want to show his sword to idiots, but as it seemed to be part of Ellen's plan he didn't really have a choice. He stood up and went to his room where he found Mugen lying on his bed, not bewitched anymore. He took it with a frown and went back to the study. Charles was fidgeting again when he saw the man approaching with a drawn sword, but Ellen told him not to worry.

"Objects like his sword can be found all over the world. What we are interested in is the influence they have on the human body", Ellen explained and looked up at Kanda without saying anything. He was puzzled for a moment, but then he got what she wanted him to do. He snorted in annoyance, but then he pulled up his sleeve and held out his left hand. He then put the point of Mugen's blade on the palm of his hand and cut. Charles voiced a startled cry, staring at the blood flowing from the wound.

"What is he doing?!", he shouted but Ellen just laughed.

"Watch", she told the young man and when Charles dared to look back at Kanda, the wound had disappeared. Kanda wiped away the blood and held his unblemished hand in front of Charles' face. The young man was astonished and breathless.

"It healed!", he said and Ellen nodded, while Kanda sheathed his sword.

"If applied correctly many things can be done with it", she said and Charles jumped up, nearly knocking over his chair.

"I – uh… You must excuse me! I have to leave! I completely forgot that… Wedgewood is still a guest at my house! He must wonder where I am! Please excuse me!", he spluttered and Kanda rolled his eyes in annoyance. Ellen however just nodded with a smile.

"Of course. You are free to come back and visit me anytime you like", she said and he nodded eagerly, then he rushed out of the room. When Kanda looked at Ellen she wore a content smile and gathered the papers of Cross' research into a little heap. Kanda assumed that they have now succeeded in their attempt to make the secret society interested in them.

"It is late", Ellen said, rising out of the armchair, "why don't we go to bed. I am sure that tomorrow we will succeed in securing the Innocence if there is any". Kanda sighed, but nodded, going to his own room after Ellen bid him a good night. The general put his sword on a drawer and then he undressed. Timcampy was resting on the pillow next to him and Kanda, after unsuccessfully trying to make the golem go away, closed his eyes.

--

When he opened his eyes again he stood in fields of snow. He looked around, but saw nothing else than white hills and in the far distance there seemed to be some sort of edifice. It was hard to make out what exactly it was because it was dark and snowing. Kanda himself didn't feel as cold as he probably should have with the icy wind tugging at his clothes and hair. He wondered where he was right now, no longer on Rosebridge Manor, so much was clear, but he did not recognize this scenery. He wondered if he was dreaming again, he probably was, but his mind was a bit clearer than last time. He walked forwards, slowly advancing the building in the distance. After a while he saw something in the distance and he sped up his steps until he found Ellen walking around aimlessly. She wore a white dress, the long transparent sleeves as well as the white cape she wore, were fluttering in the wind. As he studied her, Kanda saw that she wasn't wearing any shoes, even though she was walking in the snow. Kanda walked up to her and she turned to look at him. The white satin cape with the glittering embroidery covered half of her face, but she lifted her hands to lower it. She looked like a ghost, her skin was white and her lips a pale blue, while her eyes sparkled, reflecting the falling snow, but not him.

"What are you doing here?", he demanded and Ellen lowered her head, looking at the ground. Kanda frowned and looked around, then he grabbed her hands. They were ice cold. Ellen looked back up at him, her lips trembling slightly, her eyes sparkling even more because they were moist.

"I am kept here as a prisoner. You shouldn't be here", she told him and Kanda looked at her in confusion. She looked at him with a pained expression, then she freed one of her hands from his hold and put it on his cheek, stroked him lightly, then she pulled him down in an embrace. She was cold like the snow around him and he didn't understand what happened. "You shouldn't be here…"

--

When he woke up he was cold and wrapped the blanked around himself after sitting up.

"Damn it! What's the matter with these stupid dreams?!", he thought to himself in annoyance and left the bed, still with the blanked wrapped around him body. He walked over to the door, crossed the room with the piano and walked into Ellen's chamber. It must have been about eight o'clock in the morning – he slept a long time. She was still asleep when he walked up to her bed. He looked at her and then he let himself drop on the bed, startling Ellen. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked at Kanda in surprise. Her hair was tousled and the pyjama top she wore was slightly open, Kanda was able to see her breasts pretty well. He frowned and looked away. Ellen, after studying him with wide eyes, sighed deeply and let herself fall back into the many cushions.

"You gave me a fright", Ellen said, rubbing her palms against her face.

"Is there anything you're try to tell me?", he asked irritably and Ellen frowned at him, pulling her blanked up a bit.

"How?"

"I've been dreaming stupid things since I came here. It's starting to annoy me"

"You've been dreaming?", Ellen wondered and sat up again. Kanda nodded. "What did you dream?"

"You, wandering over moor and through a snow field", he said and Ellen looked at him in confusion.

"You've been dreaming about me?", she asked and Kanda was now awake enough to feel embarrassed.

"Yes, you idiot! Tch, forget it!", he said and let himself fall down as well, lying next to her and staring up at the ceiling. Ellen looked at him, then she laughed.

"I am sorry, irritating you even in your sleep", she said and Kanda looked at her from the corners of his eyes. He remembered the first dream quite clearly; he remembered her soft lips on the corner of his own lips. It was strange that he even thought about it and even stranger that he wondered if he should tell her.

"What? Is something wrong? Are you still worrying about your dreams? Sometimes dreams are just dreams. They don't really have to mean anything you know"

"They do mean something, at least to me. It doesn't matter whether they were a vision or just an illusion, the fact that I dreamt it is rather unsettling". Ellen frowned and propped herself up again, looking down at Kanda. Her hair was framing her white face and her grey eyes were shining in the pale light.

"Then what exactly have you been dreaming about?", she wanted to know her face attentive and serious and Kanda looked up at her. He somehow didn't know if he was still sleeping or not. Ellen was warm next to him, her body radiating warmth even though they were not touching. Her hair was pooling on the cushion next to where his head rested and she seemed puzzled as he looked up at her in complete silence. After a long while he lifted his hand and with the tip of his finger he touched the corner of her lips.

"Nothing more than touches", he said and withdrew his hand. Ellen looked down at him in surprise. After a while she lowered her head and then she lay back down.

"I see".

The silence that followed seemed rather awkward to Kanda, but he had brought it on himself. Why did he have to go seek her out in her bed? He had done so before, but he had been happily sleeping alone for the bigger part of his 40 years. Why was her presence at the same time comfortable and repugnant? Her body, Kanda mused, was something than he couldn't help… liking. Her warmth was calming him, her even breathing almost made him fall asleep again. But he also felt very bad being too near to her. She was not someone he should get to close to, both physically and emotionally. He had his resolution; win her over with reason. What should he do if this mixing up continued? He didn't know.

-

Charles returned with Burnett on the early afternoon and Ellen welcomed them into one of the many tea rooms.

"Sorry for imposing on you again", Charles mumbles and helped Burnett get off his jacket. Kanda watched him dubiously, but didn't say anything to either of the two.

"Don't worry about it, I didn't have plans for today anyway", Ellen said with a bright smile. Truth be told she and Kanda had still been lying in her bed until about half past eleven, when Miss Lane sent for them to have lunch. Burnett just smiled at her and accepted the tea a maid served him.

"Thank you. Charles came to my place and almost dragged me out last night. I could fortunately stop him", he said, laughing lightly.

"Is that so?", Ellen wondered and the young guy blushed, "have we so frightened you?"

"N… No! Not at all, I was deeply impressed!!", he said and then turned to look at Burnett, "please! Listen to me; you must accept them! They can help you!". Burnett didn't reply to the pressing of Charles and just took a sip of his tea. Ellen on the other hand feigned surprise and confusion.

"Accept us? What do you mean? And more importantly; what do you mean with helping you? Is there something the matter?"

"Charles is overreacting again, pay him no attention", Burnett calmly replied and put the teacup back down.

"Francis!", the young man argued, but Burnett just lifted his hand to make him shut up. But Charles just didn't think about shutting up and turned himself to Kanda and Ellen. "Masters Whittmore and Kanda have special abilities, magical abilities", he said and Burnett frowned, looking first at Charles and then at the two others. Kanda just sat in his seat, waiting for Ellen to act.

"Well… There are a few things that we can do…", Ellen said and Kanda nearly snorted. There weren't just a _few_ things, but the way she acted was still perfect, even he could almost believe that she was being honest.

"Show him what you did yesterday!", Charles spoke up and turned to Kanda, "I am sorry to ask this of you, but could you please repeat that?!". Kanda looked at him in silence and then he sighed, rising in order to get the sword that was lying on another table. He pulled it out of its sheath and walked over to where they were sitting. He handed the sword to Ellen who seemed surprised. Kanda just put one of his hands on the table and nodded in Ellen's direction. Ellen still seemed rather confused, but then she aimed the sword and pushed it right into the back of his hand, even driving the sword into the marble plate of the table. Burnett widened his eyes while Charles flinched. Kanda slightly narrowed his eyes and looked how the blood was flowing out of the wound, but then Ellen pulled the sword back out with a jerk.

"I didn't know that you had that much power in you", Kanda just remarked and clenches his fist. When he opened it again the wound was gone. Ellen smiled and handed him the sword, then she used a napkin to wipe away the blood. After the table was cleaned, a hole and cracks remained in the table. Ellen just smiled and covered it with her hand.

"This…", Burnett said and stopped in awe when Ellen removed her hand to reveal an unblemished table. "How?"

"I told you, Francis! They can help you!", Charles interrupted him and Burnett seemed to hesitate. After a while he sighed and leant against the back of his armchair.

"Fine. I accept", he said and Charles grinned. Kanda stole a glance at Ellen, but she still was playing her role. "We actually are members of a society called Science of God. We focus our attention on the occult realm. I hope you accept my invitation".

"I am surprised to hear that, but what do you think?", Ellen asked, addressing herself to Kanda. He rolled his eyes.

"If we have the same field of interest then that's fine with me", Kanda said and Ellen smiled. Charles smiled in relief and then turned to Burnett.

"Your power comes from the sword right? How are you able to control it so well?", Burnett wondered and looked at Mugen.

"We have read some reports by a man called Cross and he writes about the immense power Innocence holds"

"Innocence… Cross… It seems that we really are going down the same road then", Burnett said with a smile, again it seemed calculating to Kanda. He probably expected to profit from this situation.

"Listen, Mr. Burnett, one cannot toy with Innocence, doing such tricks like we just performed is dangerous if used thoughtlessly", Ellen said with a serious tone and Burnett studied her face. The Frenchman, as Kanda noticed with annoyance, was getting squirrelly again.

"Francis!"

"Be quiet, Charles", the older man told him and took something out of his coat's pocket. It seemed to be a little object wrapped in various layers of silk. When Burnett unwrapped it, the others found a golden fountain-pen lying on the table. The feeling Kanda got from it was not that strong because it was not activated, but he was sure that it really was Innocence.

"I see, oi", he called to Ellen and took a step forward, but Ellen raised her hand, stopping him.

"Wait a moment, Yu Kanda", Ellen said and looked at Burnett. "I see that this is Innocence. What have you done with it?". Kanda wondered what she was trying to achieve by asking it. It would have been easier to just take it now. But maybe she was trying to find out how much he knew and if he was compatible. It was an option after all.

"This pen enabled me to grasp even the most difficult things. When I studied using this pen it seemed to me that everything became really logical and easy to understand. I think it sharpened my understanding of the world". Kanda thought that this was a strange way to use Innocence, therefore it was probably never activated.

"What was the price you paid?", Ellen asked and Burnett looked up at her with a discontent frown. After a while he sighed. He then rolled up his sleeves and pulled off the gloves he was wearing. His skin was red, it looked like a painful rash, with patches of his skin peeling off. His hands, Kanda and Ellen saw once he took off the bandages, were even worse; they had bloody wounds all over them.

"I don't know what it does to my body. But I am almost no longer able to hold the pen", Burnett said, "it seems that Charles hoped that you can help me. He said you study the influence Innocence can have on a human body and before you proved that you are able to heal the wounds".

"We can help you. If you are ready to let yourself be helped", Ellen replied and Burnett looked up at her in confusion.

"You aren't compatible with the Innocence", Kanda said before Ellen could come up with a lengthy explanation.

"Compatible?", Charles asked and Ellen nodded.

"It's important that you have a certain resonance to Innocence, only if this is the case Innocence grants you its power. Of course, if you do not comply with the requirements then Innocence can be really dangerous", she explained and put her hand on Kanda's shoulder. "If your compatibility with Innocence is really high, as it is the case with Yu Kanda, then Innocence will give you immense power. If you are not compatible or if your compatibility is low, then the Innocence starts to decompose the human body. That's why Yu Kanda said that you are not compatible…". Burnett und Charles were not saying and Ellen sighed. "Innocence is not there to be used by humans for their own purposes… To carry Innocence is a burden", she said and pulled off her glove, showing them her Innocence. Kanda was slightly surprised, not that she was showing them her Innocence, but that she spoke like a true exorcist, both informing the people of the purpose of Innocence and protecting them from harm. Burnett studied the woman in front of him in silence, but then he sighed in defeat.

"A divine material, granted to us be God, only to be wielded by chosen apostles, wasn't it? You're exorcists", he asked and Ellen nodded without saying anything.

"Innocence is made for war, it is a weapon, forcing its wielder to fight. You would be better off to hand the Innocence to us, we know what to do with it", Kanda told him.

"In turn I can heal your hands… If you want me to", Ellen said and smiled, "you are an intelligent man, Mr. Burnett, it would be such a shame to lose you to the Innocence". Burnett didn't say anything for a while, seemingly lost in thought, while Charles was still speechless. After a while Burnett nodded and pushed the Innocence across the table. Kanda took it while Ellen walked over to Burnett and put his hands in hers. It did only take a few moments then his hands were restored.

"How do you do that? Is it your Innocence's power?"

"No… It's magic", Ellen replied and smiled. Burnett had to laugh and nodded. He then got up and pulled on his jacket.

"Fine. I believe you. I renounce the Innocence and its merits, but I will not give up. Like Cross, I believe that Innocence can be connected with science", he said and walked over the door. Ellen and the others followed him, walking down into the entrance hall.

"You are free to return and ask for my help if you should ever need it again, we are members of the same society now, aren't we?", Ellen assured him and they shook hands, Burnett laughing in amusement. The two men left the house, walking into a stormy late after-noon. Kanda couldn't help thinking that the Frenchman wasn't happy with how the things have turned out. But he didn't really care, as long as they had the Innocence, the mission was a success. Kanda and Ellen were still standing on the porch in front of the open door.

"It is better like this. Young men should not dive too deep into such things. It is far too dangerous and Innocence does not forgive mistakes…", she said and turned around. Kanda didn't say anything and wanted to return to the house as well, but then something caught his eye.

"Beansprout", Kanda said, stopping the woman and she turned to look at him.

"What is it?"

"I can see a finder coming", Kanda replied and Ellen widened her eyes in surprise, turning towards the road leading away from her manor. And indeed, she could see a finder walking up to them, waving after he was close enough to see them.

"What good luck I seem to have – I have found you, General Kanda!", the finder said, "The supervisor sends me".

"How have you found us?", Kanda wondered and the finder seemed puzzled.

"The supervisor told me that you were most probably in this town, so I asked if anybody had seen an Asian man. You do stick out, General", the man replied with a chuckle and Ellen had to laugh as well.

"Tch. Shut up", he said, directed at Ellen. The finder looked at her, but didn't seem all too surprised that she was dressed like a man. "What does Komui want?"

"He wants you to return immediately, it doesn't matter if you have not found the Innocence yet", the finder replied Kanda looked at him in surprise.

"We have just managed to get a hold of it", Kanda said and the finder smiled.

"As expected of you, General", the man in the white uniform said and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"And why is it so urgent for us to return?", Ellen wanted to know and the finder turned to her, looking quite serious.

"All the generals have been summoned. The officials from the Vatican are coming".

_To be continued_

**Notes:**

I had planned to make their stay in Rosebridge Manor longer, but it was getting boring there. Anyway, their stay is over, but some important things happened. And now - the meeting with Leverrier (and Link) *gasp*

I do not know how my plans will work out, but for the next "episode" (which might either take one or two chapters) I have planned to include another bit of Ellen's past and this new knowledge will have an impact on Kanda as well. I'm excited! X3 So, what do you think? :3


	21. Chapter 21

_**Author's notes:**_

_Thanks to university this chapter took an eternity to write…! But now it's here and I hope you can enjoy it!_

_Just a slight warning: this chapter features Leverrier (who makes his appearance in volume 14). Therefore spoilers if you don't know him._

_**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino

* * *

  
**_

Ellen was standing by the window in her own room looking out over the moor. As soon as the Finder was gone she had started making preparations for their departure. Kanda was turning the Innocence pen around in his hands, not really knowing what to do now that Ellen was brooding.

„Why are you so agitated?", Kanda wondered and Ellen turned to look at him. She smiled sweetly, but her usually calm eyes seemed a darker shade of gray as if a storm was coming up. Kanda thought to know that she must have been forming new plans to deal with this situation. Or maybe she was just troubled.

„Don't concern yourself over it... Have you prepared everything?".

„Tch, what should I have been preparing? My suitcase is packed, Timcampy is locked in there. I'm all set, but you keep lingering around," Kanda replied and Ellen continued smiling at him. He frowned as she turned back around and he could only see the reflection of her face in the window.

„Oh, I am not lingering... I just wanted to fill myself with the quiet of this manor," she replied.

„I see. If you are full then come on, we got to hurry back. There is no sense in delaying it," Kanda said and got up from the bed he was sitting on. Ellen turned to him, studying him quietly before replying:

„No... There is no sense in delaying the inevitable for too long." The words struck Kanda as odd but he did not know how to interpret them. What was inevitable? Was something bad going to happen? Not finding answers by himself, Kanda decided that it was best leaving now. He hoped that he would get some answers from Ellen once they were alone and undisturbed.

Ellen swiftly dealt with Miss Lane who did a poor job at hiding how pleased she was to know that the young heir would leave that fast. The white haired girl did not even bother to wait for Wedgewood and Kanda thought that this was probably the best thing to do, he wasn't really fond of the idea to waste time on that idiot. They climbed into a carriage and without any words of good-bye they already left Rosebridge Manor.

Kanda thought that for having been in the house where the beansprout had been born in, he had come to know very little of her. He now knew her real name, her human heritage, that she had been abandoned on the streets of London and that she had survived. Ellen didn't seem to hold a grudge against her late parents, in her eyes they probably were nothing more than humans, tools that created her and whose heritage she was now using to her benefit. Nothing uncommon in that, Kanda thought.

The whole mission had been rather unspectacular... The only things that still made him think were the problems with his weakening seal and his unsettling dreams. Maybe his seal should make him worry more, but right now he was rather concerned about the dreams. Of course, they were just dreams, they meant nothing at all! But somehow it wasn't very nice to now that his imagination was up to forming such strange things. Maybe he had been caught up in the moment... Kanda dared to steal a glance at Ellen. She had opened her hair again and was now looking more female again despite her clothes and lack of make-up. She still was very beautiful. A woman's undeniable charm. Good, at least Kanda was not unaffected by such vain things. On a second thought, why was that good...? Kanda snorted, which earned him an interested look by Ellen, but he ignored her and closed his eyes, shutting out everything, even his own thoughts, for the remainder of the journey back.

-

Once Ellen and Kanda returned to the Black order they found its inhabitants in a chaotic state of uproar. It seemed to Kanda that the science division was even more hectic than usual, all the Black Order's divisions where busy and out in the corridors.

„It is a lively place today," Ellen commented with a small laugh which strained Kanda's nerves even more.

„Lively? It seems as if they were preparing for a major battle! It's downright chaotic!" the general said and barely evaded a young finder that rushed past him. „Annoying bunch of useless fools!"

„You shouldn't be so irritable after a successful mission that was won not by violence, but by reason," Ellen reminded him and he looked at her. After a while, the dark haired general snorted.

„You know that this is not the way I usually fight my battles. If you don't help me then I won't get anywhere," he replied and Ellen chuckled, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.

„Oh? Is this so? So you acknowledge that I have a participatory role in this?" Kanda frowned.

„It is all about you", he said after a while.

„No it wasn't", Ellen answered and Kanda looked at her. She smiled up at him. „It was about the Innocence and not about Rosebridge Manor", she told him and Kanda knew that they had now left the ambiguous talking. He was sure that she knew exactly what he was trying to say, after all, she had started it with her strange choice of wording.

„Tch. In the end I have the feeling that our preparation was all just a waste of time. Why did we need to be acknowledged by this guy? He found out that we are exorcists, why couldn't we just take the Innocence and go?"

„Because we gave him the feeling of doing a bargain," Ellen told him and they stopped in front of the doors to the science division.

„How?" Kanda wondered.

„He gave us the Innocence and we cured the damage he has done to himself. Of course, an ordinary exorcist couldn't have done it", she told him and Kanda snorted. „Well, what would have happened if we had just taken it?"

„I have no clue, you tell me," Kanda said and Ellen chuckled.

„Let's just hand this Innocence over to Komui Li," she said instead of answering and pushed the door open. Kanda followed her, still thinking about it. One of the troubles with Ellen was that one never knew if she was joking or being serious. Was this question relevant or not?

„Tch, not as if these idiots could cause us anymore troubles with their research," Kanda told himself and they walked up to Komui's office. They passed a queue of people wanting something from him and once they stood in front of his desk they found him totally exhausted.

„Aah... Kanda, Ellen, you've made it back," he said and yawned. „Sorry that I interrupted your mission so suddenly." Kanda shook his head and put the pen on Komui's table.

„We just finished when the finder found us. That's the Innocence", he told the man in front of him, who eyed the golden pen with confusion.

„This here?" Komui wondered and Kanda nodded. „Well done you two! I didn't expect you to finish so quickly! Really, well done!"

„What do you mean, you didn't expect us to finish? I usually do not fail my mission. At least not when there are no idiots there to ruin it," he snorted and Komui laughed lightly, putting the Innocence into a box to be taken down to Hebraska.

„That's good. Then I trust you to hand in a report with all the details," the Chinese man said and Kanda nodded. „You know why you were called back?" Komui asked and Kanda nodded again. „As you're a general you have to be present at the meeting. It's to be held tomorrow in the after-noon. You better get ready."

„Ready? Why? What should I prepare?" Kanda asked in surprise and doubt. Komui didn't say anything and just stole a glance at Ellen, coughing slightly. Kanda understood what he meant to say and nodded. „Fine. I'll prepare just in case I need to say anything".

„Fine. You can leave if you want," Komui told them and Kanda and Ellen nodded, leaving the science division. Kanda led the way straight up to their room where he paid attention to lock the door properly this time. He was not pleased at all that he had to be part of such a meeting. He knew that meetings with all the Branch Heads and someone from Central Administrations were held on a regular basis, but he never had to join one of them before. While normally such a meeting would just have bored him, now he was also uneasy because of his not quite human apprentice. Ellen put down her suitcase and went to the Lotus, stroking the glass gently before she turned away to slip into her usual clothes.

„As far as I've heard, the subjects of tomorrow's meeting are the 14th, the Ark and the Akuma Plant. Thanks to Cross' report I now have an idea what the Akuma Plant is, but I am not quite sure of its relevance. Anyway, were you aware that the Vatican knew about all these subjects and that they will be discussed?". Ellen sighed and sat down into an armchair next to Kanda.

„I was told that they received information," she replied and Kanda studied her face, „I am not that happy that this knowledge will already be revealed. Of course, for the exorcist side it might have benefits, even though I do not know how much they have come to know."

„What makes me uneasy is the fact that you are somehow caught up in the middle of these things," Kanda said and Ellen looked at him in confusion. „Well, you are the one to control the Arc because you received the power of the fourteenth, right? I don't know if you have a connection to this Akuma Plant, but the other two things give reasons enough to worry." Ellen smiled.

„Well. It must have been Mana who revealed this information. I know that he also had his plans and I don't really have much choice. I will just wait and see what he plotted."

„Your husband plotted things behind your back?" Kanda asked and Ellen continued smiling, „You were fine with this?"

„As a wife, how could I be fine with it?" Ellen asked and Kanda couldn't help smirking, „but as a Noah I didn't care that much."

„Well, at least you trust him to have set up a good plan," the general said and Ellen shrugged.

„I do not trust, I hope. He could be a bit sloppy...," she said and couldn't help frowning, „but I guess that he planned it out well enough..."

„I see... Well then I will tell you what they know," Kanda told her, „and you will determine what to do with the information..."

„Determine what to do? There's no reason for me to tell the Earl. It is not my mission to find out how much they know. And even if I knew, how should I explain how I found out?" Ellen replied with a smile and Kanda put his hand on her head. „What?"

„Then everything is fine, beansprout," he told her and she looked at him in surprise, „we'll deal with whatever these information contain later on, once we know more." Ellen nodded. „Let us go down, it's time for dinner."

„Good that you mention it, I was getting a little bit hungry," Ellen confessed and smiled charmingly which made Kanda roll his eyes, „eating in Miss Lane's company is no rewarding thing. I was barely able to touch my food."

„Why?" Kanda wondered, „do you think she'd poison your food?". Ellen laughed in amusement.

„Why are you laughing? I wouldn't put it past her. She seems like an unpleasant woman..."

„Well, unpleasant or not, poison would not kill me that easily," Ellen said in a light, cheerful tone, „therefore I am not concerned in the slightest whatever Miss Lane has planned for me."

„Hm, what humans try to do to you doesn't need to concern you," Kanda said, opening the door and stepping out into the corridor. Ellen looked up at him and smiled.

„Neither do you need to worry about it. Nothing can kill you after all," she replied and Kanda saw that she was right. „But what should I think about people wanting to get rid of me? I can laugh at Miss Lane's hate and jealousy. And I've learnt to accept how people work when they have no other choice to be selfish." Kanda looked at her in slight confusion. But she didn't appear to be in a mood to explain something which belongs to a darker side of her. Was she being considerate? Or did she not trust him enough? Kanda wasn't sure, so he just repeated his concern to get some food before the entire organization of the Black Order broke down because of the meeting tomorrow.

-

Naturally, the commotion had not died down in the slightest and the usually so quiet halls and corridors of the Black Order were incredibly noisy and filled with people. Under normal circumstances Kanda didn't even see half as many people in the Black Order! Not that he paid special attention to the Black Order's inhabitants, but it did strike him as odd. When they were in a corridor that had doors leading to the library and offices, Kanda saw another figure that he didn't normally recognize as Black Order staff. Kanda slowed down and Ellen, following Kanda's eyes, did as well. Kanda looked at Ellen, but she didn't seem surprised at all. Her face was calm, with a smile on her lips and she didn't say anything to Kanda. The man in question took notice of Kanda and looked up. No doubt about it; it was the Rome guy! He seemed to recognize Kanda, because he started walking in his direction with deliberate strides, but stopped dead in his tracks once he saw the girl walking at Kanda's side. It was kind of funny to see the boy's (he couldn't be older than 20!) expression change from strict to shocked and slightly pink. He did manage to pull himself together once Kanda reached him.

„Go on", Kanda told the girl at his side and she nodded at him. She turned her face towards Link, smiled and bowed politely, then she turned away and continued to the dining hall. The blond guy bowed as well and watched her go before he turned back to Kanda.

„You are General Yu Kanda, am I correct?" he asked and Kanda nodded.

„That's right," Kanda said, „and who're you?". The young man still seemed pretty distracted as he turned his head around to see Ellen walking into the dining hall.

„Inspector Howard Link," he replied after a while and turned his attention back to Kanda, „I came here a day earlier to see how preparations are going and to inspect the atmosphere"

„It's quite tense as you can see," Kanda told him and Link nodded, „anything else?" Link nodded once again and pulled out a leader wrapper which he handed to Kanda.

„This contains a document which summarizes the topics of tomorrow's meeting. Please study them carefully General Kanda." Kanda took it wordlessly and waited. "This young woman...," he finally started and Kanda snorted. „Is her identity known to you?"

„Yes, I know her. She is my apprentice, Ellen Walker. A young but able exorcist," he replied and Link nodded slowly, „do you have an interest in her, inspector?" Kanda asked. He was somewhat annoyed that he had to meet this guy again. He was one of the sources for stains on the beansprout's body. He couldn't help but being slightly put off (after all, this young guy had a go at her body! It was an outrageous thought!). However, Kanda also felt sorry for him. It was not as if he had managed to break through Ellen's defences, he was rather a victim pulled in by Ellen's power. A manipulated tool to delay the Vatican upon the Earl's bidding. But still, he had been rewarded for this injustice by... Kanda stopped this train of thoughts because Link was replying to his question:

„Not in particular. I have not seen any files about her person. If she is a member of the exorcists there should be some." Kanda found that it was a rather sound excuse for being just a pervert, so he remained polite.

„I have not yet made any. She's my first disciple and she's joined us quite recently." Link seemed to accept this as an answer and nodded.

„Then I expect to see you at tomorrow's meeting," the inspector said, bid him a good evening and left. Kanda just looked after him with an annoyed scowl, then he turned around and joined Ellen in the dining hall.

She looked quite amused when Kanda sat own beside her, Soba in front of him. He snorted when she started chuckling.

„Very funny, beansprout," Kanda hissed and started eating. Ellen just smiled and continued picking at her potatoes. „Don't you think that your little romantic encounter with him will have consequences? He's an inspector after all and not just someone without importance!" Ellen raised her eyes and looked at Kanda.

„Every action we take has consequences, you know that," she said and the General snorted.

„Tch. Of course."

-

As it was just too loud for Kanda's taste he wanted to get back to his room as quick as possible. Ellen didn't have any problems with it and followed him back up. She was sitting by the window, studying both the outside and the precious flower next to her. Kanda sat down at the table and opened the file for tomorrow's discussion. He quickly went though the cover page which contained the names of all the participants, then he went to the next page which was an index with all the subjects listed. Because both Komui and the Rome guy told him to prepare, Kanda decided that it might be best to go through the file and see if he might have to cover something up. Not that he knew how, he wasn't very good when it came to lying.

„Noah's Ark. A mythical vehicle that is thought to be able to travel through space and link places all over the world," Kanda read, „it is a remnant of a very old time, but employs scientific technologies which are far beyond our capacities. It is currently in the Earl's hold. Our aim is to secure it. The fourteenth. As far as our knowledge go, there have always been 13 members of the Noah clan, who have sided with the Earl. In this generation another member was born, the 14th member, thus the title. He had plans of his own and went against the Earl for which he was destroyed. His legacy is connected with the Ark. His true identity and his goal are not certain. The Akuma Plant. An object which the Earl uses to construct the Akuma bodies. It seems to be able to generate Dark Matter. Not much is known of it, but as it is the origin of the Akuma it needs to be secured." Kanda read through the more detailed information on the three discussion topics but was not really able to get any new knowledge out of it. When he turned to the last page he found an additional topic. He frowned.

„Marian Cross. An exorcist general that has been declared missing quite some time ago. While there was still sparse contact with him 10 years ago, we have lost all communication after his last conversation with General Froi Tiedoll. He was on a mission when he disappeared without finishing it. It is not known whether he has turned his back on his responsibility and the Black Order or if he has been killed by the enemy. The further course of action will be discussed." Kanda studied the document, then he looked at Ellen. So that was why Komui told him to prepare. As far as Komui knew they had a clue to Cross right here – in the form of Ellen. But how much did the Vatican know of this fact? „We will also be discussing General Cross," Kanda spoke up and Ellen turned to look at him. She seemed a bit surprised but not uneasy about it.

„Oh? Is that so?"  
„Aren't you worried? Both Komui and Tiedoll know that you have connections to Cross. If this comes out tomorrow you will surely have to deal with this. What if they question you? What if they find out about your other identity?" he wondered but Ellen smiled and shook her head.

„They will not... Not yet," she replied calmly but Kanda wasn't really happy about this answer. Not yet. That meant that Ellen expected them to find out. What exactly meant her „not yet"? And what would happen if they found out about her being a Noah?

„That mustn't happen! If it did, she would no longer be able to continue as an exorcist!" Kanda thought nervously, „wouldn't we lose all chances to win the war if we force her to abandon her role as exorcist? And even if they did let her continue being an exorcist then she has no chance to be human again." Kanda shook his head. He wanted to tell her that he would not allow them to find out, that he would try to protect her humanity for as long as possible, but he wasn't able to speak the words. Just as he managed to start with a determined „beansprout", someone knocked at the door. Ellen, who had looked at Kanda, now turned her attention to the door. Kanda snorted in annoyance and went back to read his files. Ellen got up instead and walked over to it. She turned the key in the lock and opened the door. From his position at the table Kanda could very well see that it was the annoying inspector. He could also see the pleasantly surprised face of the white haired girl and the slight uneasiness on the Rome guy's part. Of course, Kanda found this intolerably irritating.

„Please excuse this late disturbance, Miss", Kanda could hear Link saying, „also my apologies to you, General Kanda." The Japanese man just lifted his hand and pretended to be busy with the files. „Miss Walker. Could I ask you to join me for a moment?" Kanda didn't protest so Ellen nodded and closed the door behind herself leaving Kanda in a very unpleasant emotional state. Kanda clenched his hand on top of the files. Why was he so angry? Why was he so scandalized? Obviously the Rome guy planned to repeat their little love-making session, so what? Why should it even concern Kanda? She wasn't his wife, or lover, or sister or daughter. He didn't have to protect her endangered virtue and he had no right to be jealous. But still, somewhere in the back of his mind he thought that it was _his_ role in this war. It was _his_ duty to win her over, _his _duty to take her away from her Noah lover. Kanda put his hand to his forehead and shook his head.

„When has the battle for humanity turned into a battle for a woman? Just because I think that the Noah lover is my opponent for „using" the beansprout it doesn't mean that he's my rival or that I have to get her to leave him for me! I just need her to forget about him, severe her ties with him and the whole Noah clan and the Earl. It doesn't matter if this happens because there's me on this side or if there's another one!" Kanda told himself and got up with a deep sigh. „If I trust Hebraska's prophecy then I'm the one who could use the beansprout to our side's advantage and with her help we will win the war. It's just that. Nothing more. I'm just getting delusional." Annoyed at himself he undressed and slipped into the bed. Timcampy was locked inside his suitcase and even though he could very well bother Ellen now he decided that he had no right to. „That the Rome guy appears again is in itself a bit surprising, but she chose to go with him on her own accord." Stained... Was she really? Could he call it that? Last time he had been quite disgusted, disgusted with the fact that she let herself be used by men like a cheap prostitute. He had been disgusted because her sexuality seemed forced to him, like another tool she used or even as if the Earl forced her to use it. It hadn't seemed right to Kanda in the slightest. But who was he to judge if she just did it because she had to or if she wanted to. Hadn't she said that it was part of her human nature? „Women control men...," Kanda said to no one and sighed in annoyance. He turned over and switched off the light. „It seems that right now I have lost. It is useless trying to convince her with reason if I have been caught by her heart..."

-

Now that Kanda left Rosebridge Manor his strange dreams had stopped. He was a bit surprised that there was nothing, but glad at the same time. When he sat up he found Ellen waiting on the sofa, her hands folded in her lap.

„Why do you look so down-cast?" Kanda asked and Ellen looked over to him, „didn't you enjoy it last night? I didn't even bother you." Ellen smiled at him and shook her head.

„That's not it. There are other things on my mind that are mildly troubling..." Kanda didn't comment on that and left the warmth of his bed.

„Let's go down", he suggested when he was dressed in his exorcist uniform and Ellen nodded, following Kanda out. He did wonder what it was that seemed „mildly troubling" to Ellen. Over what did she need to worry? And which part of her was worried? But he was in no mood to pry. Nearly at the doors to the dining hall they were joined by Rabi.

„Good morning! Breakfast, you two?" he asked with a big grin on his face.

„Apparently," Kanda snorted and took in Rabi's appearance, he seemed pretty lively and there were no plaster or bandages visible. „You seem to have recovered just fine while we were gone," Kanda remarked and ordered food.

„Of course! Don't think that such injuries will influence me much!" the red-head replied and after they all had their food, they looked for a free table. „It's packed! Everyone must be anxious about the meeting today!" Rabi observed.

„Tch. So annoying!" Kanda muttered and started eating once they finally found unoccupied seats. Rabi grinned at him, then he looked at Ellen.

„Will it be safe for you?" Rabi asked in a concerned tone, „I've heard what today's topics are..."

„That's what I've told her as well," Kanda added and Ellen smiled at both of them.

„Don't worry so much. It's not time yet."

„Not time yet? So you don't think that you can keep this disguise up forever?" Rabi asked and Ellen shook her head.

„I do not think so and neither do you, right dear Rabi?" she countered and Rabi had to sigh.

„Yes but... It still makes me worry. They will discuss Cross as well and if your connection to him becomes apparent then..." he left the rest of the sentence open. Before Ellen could reply Kanda cut them short.

„Don't discuss this here, there are too many people. And rumors in the Black Order spread like an epidemic," he told them and the two agreed not to speak of it anymore, at least not in the dining hall. However, it was apparent to both Kanda and Rabi that Ellen seemed to think that the meeting today would not prove to be dangerous to her. Both of them weren't really convinced but there was nothing one could say against Ellen. If she said „not yet" then it meant not yet. She was the Noah of Destiny after all, she was bound to know such things. Despite being so sure that she was in no danger to be discovered as a Noah, Kanda felt that there was still something that worried her a great deal. Her smile had disappeared rather quickly and she seemed absorbed in her thoughts instead of following Rabi's meaningless chatter. He was uneasy about it but he decided to wait, if there was something she wanted to tell him she would...

-

In the late afternoon Kanda put on his exorcist uniform and left Ellen with Hanako.

„Do whatever you want while I'm busy," Kanda told the two and the white haired girl nodded.

„So you're part of this discussion?" Hanako wondered and her brother nodded with an annoyed expression which caused Hanako to laugh. „You'll survive it, I'm sure. You didn't do anything wrong after all and it's a discussion, not an interrogation," she said. Kanda snorted.

„I wouldn't be too sure about it..." Kanda said, then he lifted his hand in a silent good-bye and left the two women standing in the infirmary. Kanda could hear Hanako making plans for the afternoon and Ellen's affirmative reply. He snorted, then he walked to the room where the discussion was to be held. Link greeted him politely and Kanda had to smirk when he saw him frown.

„If you were looking for my apprentice, she is currently spending time with my sister," he said and Link coughed in embarrassment.

„It is not necessary for her to be part of this interrogation. You as her general will be enough," he said and asked Kanda to come in. The black haired man did as he was told. He had never been into this room before and looked around. The ceiling was pretty high up and a circular table stood in the middle of the big room with many chairs around it. He could see the other heads of the Black Order branches as well as the other generals and some people he didn't recognize. Kanda took a seat in between Bak Chan (who was known to him) and General Tiedoll

„Ah, I'm so proud that you finally sit on this table as well! You're such a good boy, Yu!" Tiedoll exclaimed and Kanda rolled his eyes in embarrassment.

„I have heard that you took an apprentice?" Bak wondered and Kanda nodded, „this is quite surprising."

„Yes, but as I'm a general there's no way around it. She's a decent fighter," he replied, feeling a bit uneasy because of Tiedoll. What did the man actually know about Ellen? What had he figured out because of the incident at the old ruins? However, Tiedoll was pretty happy with just telling Bak how wonderful Ellen was and that he was so proud of Kanda to have taken in a pupil as beautiful as Ellen. Kanda was glad that the meeting finally started because it made Tiedoll shut up. A man in a uniform unrecognizable to Kanda entered the room, introduced himself as Malcom C. Leverrier and took a seat at the table. He seemed to be about 50 years old and his presence was quite intimidating.

„Ladies and Gentlemen. I am glad that you could all make it – all except General Cross, but that is no surprise," Leverrier started, „you have all read the files inspector Link has given you I presume. The topics that I want to discuss today are all connected. Inspector Link!" The blond man nodded and got up from his seat.

„Years ago, General Marian Cross has received the order to investigate the Akuma plant. At the same time, about 20 years ago, he stopped reporting back, but he communicated with the late General Xavier. He was more or less traceable thanks to this. As his mission required discretion his sloppiness was ignored. However, about 15 years ago, General Xavier received the mission to investigate in Japan and 10 years ago he died in the capital. Without General Xavier we lost our only means of contacting General Cross. The last time we heard from the General was when he contacted General Tiedoll and then he vanished."

„General Tiedoll. What did he tell you?" Leverrier wondered and Kanda got a bit uneasy.

„That sooner or later a pupil for me would turn up at the Asia Branch," Tiedoll replied calmly, „and that I should pay some of his debts."

„And did a pupil turn up?" Leverrier continued asking and Tiedoll scratched his head.

„Well, I'm not sure. Almost seven years later, yes. But I don't know if that was the pupil he talked about..."

„General Kanda," the tall man started and looked at the General, „were you that pupil?"

„Yes I was, however, I was not aware that General Tiedoll had been waiting for me..."

„Did you ever meet General Cross?" Leverrier asked and Kanda hesitated, „we don't know how he looks like today, but he was a tall man with red hair and a mask covering half of his face."

„I recall such a man, but it was long ago," Kanda replied carefully. They didn't need to know that they had met and they didn't need to know the circumstances. He too, Kanda realized, risked his cover to be blown.

„What did he tell you?" Link wondered and Kanda frowned.

„That I have potential, but that he doesn't like to take pupils... Then he left me on the outskirts of the capital..."

„Very well... That means that ten years ago he was still doing his work," Leverrier mused.

„Excuse me," Komui spoke up, „what is the point of asking these questions?"

„We are gathering information on General Cross, obviously," Leverrier replied smugly. „Inspector?". Link nodded.

„The Akuma plant is one of the most important tools of the Earl that is why we want to get our hands on it. This Plant was located inside Noah's Arc. This Arc is a 7000 year old vessel which is in the hands of the Earl as well. As you have surely read, it can be used to travel space without even moving from its spot. Currently the Arc is stranded in the capital."

„Stranded? Can it no longer be moved from there?" Bak wanted to know and Link nodded.

„It is not sure for certain. It has not moved in 25 years. It has been chained to the capital by the late 14th Noah. He was able to control its movement. We have received notice that the 14th Noah gave his power to control the Arc to another person."

„Our objective is to bring the Akuma plant into our possession and the only person that currently knows how to get into the Arc is this so-called „Musician" who has inherited the will of the 14th. As General Cross has been inside the Ark as Xavier has reported, we can assume that General Cross knows something." Leverrier said, then he was silent for a while. „General Kanda", he continued and Kanda tensed, „I hereby give you the mission to find General Cross, find him, infiltrate the Ark and get the Akuma plant!"

„What?! Inspector! Why he?!" Komui asked in a worried tone.

„There are two reasons, I am sure you are aware of them," Leverrier replied calmly, looking straight into Kanda's eyes. "Because he broke the critical point while on the Ark where he and other exorcists battled Noahs. And more importantly; because he has something that can direct us to General Cross' whereabouts. You told me yourself, supervisor." Komui paled and looked at the table. Kanda frowned, but then he looked at Leverrier. „General Kanda, is it correct that you took a pupil?"

„This is correct," Kanda replied and cursed inwardly. So much for keeping it a secret. Damn that Komui, why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut?

„And is it also correct that she has been the pupil of General Cross before?". Now a murmur went through the room and Kanda sighed silently.

„Yes, I have recently been informed of this fact..." Kanda said and with slight surprise he saw that Link was frowning down on his paper.

„What's the matter with him...?" Kanda wondered, but had to continue focussing on Inspector Leverrier.

„Now it should have become obvious why General Kanda has to go. Ellen Walker will play a central role in finding General Cross!"

„Inspector!" Komui protested, „please be reasonable! Hebraska's prophecy, remember what I told you!". Kanda frowned as he heard that.

„What prophecy?" Bak wondered, but nobody replied. It seemed as if only Tiedoll, Kanda, Komui and Leverrier knew what it was about.

„Going into enemy territory with the danger of Ellen falling into the Earl's hands is just unreasonable!" Komui shouted but Leverrier was not impressed by his protest.

„This is a risk that we cannot avoid. Without Ellen Walker I see no chance of finding Cross. We have to think about the end of the war. We want to win this war and we want to win before the Three Days of Darkness come upon us!" Leverrier replied forcefully and there was nothing Komui could say. „Hm. Well, either Ellen Walker will go with General Kanda or we examine her special abilities, maybe we can do without her if we had her power..."

„Ridiculous..." Komui hissed in anger but he was powerless against the Vatican's decision. Kanda shared his irritation. If they made experiments with Ellen then it would surely become obvious that she was more than an exorcist with magical powers!

„Very well... I accept the mission," Kanda finally said and Leverrier smiled at him.

„I am glad that you are cooperative. That is all I wanted to hear today, for now this meeting is over." Kanda sighed and got up from his chair once most of the other people had left.

„Just a moment General Kanda." Kanda stopped just outside the room and groaned inwardly. Of course, he wouldn't let him off that easily...! Kanda turned towards the door and saw Leverrier closing it after himself. He nodded at Link and the young man left. „Under what circumstances did you find Ellen Walker?"

„I was merely traveling through China, looking for Innocence and compatibles. I just ran across her..." Kanda explained and it was actually nothing less than the truth. Leverrier studied him for a while, then he nodded slowly.

„I see. A chance meeting it seems. But why have you taken her as your pupil? Why not the other compatibles you've found?" Kanda didn't reply and Leverrier continued asking, „why her? Who exactly is she? Where did she come from? What is she able to do?" He took a step closer to Kanda, looming over him, studying closely. „It seems suspicious to me. Maybe she's more connected to all of it than it seems. But I won't be content with half truths and lies! I will-". Kanda looked at him in confusion when Leverrier suddenly stopped talking in mid-sentence. It seemed as if the man was looking at something, not just looking, but staring as if he'd seen a ghost. He turned around and saw Ellen standing a bit behind him.

„Inspector, this is Ellen Walker," Kanda introduced her, but the strained silence continued. Not only Leverrier, Ellen was tense as well, but she managed to smile and make a curtsey.

„I am pleased to make your acquaintance," Leverrier said after a while and Ellen smiled.

„Thank you. It is an honour meeting you," she replied, then she stepped up next to Kanda.

„So you are Ellen Walker," Leverrier started after some time and Ellen nodded. It didn't seem to surprise her that he knew her. Leverrier looked at her for quite some time and even Kanda started to get uneasy. „This question might seem a bit surprising to you," Leverrier started after a while and Kanda tensed, „but did your mother work in London?". The general blinked at him in surprise. Had he heard right? He was asking about her mother? Ellen seemed a bit surprised as well, but she recovered pretty fast and nodded.

„This is true. But that was quite some time ago... I left London after I lost her... Now I'm here," she explained. Surprisingly, Leverrier seemed to be affected by what she just told him.

„I see. Fine. Now if you would excuse me, I still have work to do." With this he bowed, then he turned around and left the corridor in fast strides. Ellen smiled after him, then she turned around and walked into the other direction. Kanda was very perplexed by the scene he had just witnessed and followed Ellen. She led him straight back to their room. Kanda closed the door, locked it and grabbed Ellen's wrist.

„What's the matter?" he asked, but Ellen just shook her head. Kanda frowned and tried a different approach: „Do you know him?" She nodded wordlessly. "Did you know that he'd come?" She nodded again and Kanda let go of her hand. She walked to the bed and sat down. She let out a shuddering breath and then she threw herself into Kanda's cushions. Kanda widened his eyes in surprise when he saw this overly dramatic action, but it didn't look like Ellen played. She was truly shaken. The man walked up to the bed and sat down. He grabbed her arms and pulled her back into a sitting position.

„Pull yourself together!" he said and only let go of her arms when she nodded. She wasn't crying but she looked as if she could start anytime. „And tell me what's wrong..." Ellen was again crunching up the fabric of her skirt and when Kanda put his hand over hers she gladly accepted it.

„Yes... I will tell you..." she looked up at him with a serious face. „I will tell you my story, my 15 years of human life."

_To be continued_

-

_Notes:_

Please don't hit me because of the Link stuff! *lol*

Also, next chapter will cover some things which you might or might not have been waiting for! :D


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Notes:**

Finally, the chapter covering Ellen's past. I had some troubles writing this for various reasons. One of them certainly was that it felt like writing a totally different story for some original character. Then there is the other topic I raise here that I think some of you might be uncomfortable with (but might have guessed to be tied to Ellen.) And then there's Leverrier. If you hate him you might not want to read how I depicted him as a child. However, I still hope that it's readable and you can enjoy this chapter for another quite important reason *wink*

Ah, beware of many little passages! *lol* And most of what you read here is flashback.

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

* * *

The events that lead to the forming of Ellen Walker started in a backyard in London. It was close by the docks and biting cold air from the Thames was blowing through the narrow alleys. The servant who was charged with bringing the youngest child of the Whittmores to London, put the little girl wrapped in a white silk cloth down next to a pile of some thrown away junk. It was a place where the servant believed nobody to spot the girl, and even if they did she supposed that nobody would care enough to take in the girl. Or maybe they would eat her, the servant did not put it past the despicable low class scum to stoop that low. The servant spared the silent bundle one last glance and then turned away. Being a dutiful and loyal servant, she hoped like her masters that the little cripple would die, better sooner than later. And with this thought the servant of the noble house of Whittmore left young Garnet to her demise.

-

Death was almost certain for a new-born child out in London's street in winter, but only almost. The alley normally was not often visited by people, but just this day the old beggar lady Brunhilde Fence happened to pass by. She carried some items she had found at the bank of the river in a bag over her shoulder and went to the pile of junk in this alley. She rummaged through it for a while, coming up with a pair of shoes that were still fit to be worn by her standards. When she heard a faint noise she looked around but saw no one. Slightly put off by the apparently source lacking noise, she continued looking through the things. Just when she was pulling out a broken vase she heard the sound again. Not being able to convince herself that she was just hearing rats, she started looking for the source of the noise. She was quite surprised when she found the white bundle. She unwrapped it and discovered a child. The old lady furrowed her wrinkled brows and poked the child with one of her thin fingers. It was still alive, that was for sure. The old beggar lady snorted in disapproval.

„Unlucky brat..." she said and studied the little red arm and the white silk cloth silently. She concluded that the arm was the reason why the girl was thrown out and that her parents probably had quite some money if they could afford to just throw out such a nice silk cloth. The old lady studied the girl some more, then she re-wrapped her into the cloth and left the alley, deciding to return after she sold the junk she had found. If the girl was dead by then – which she should be – she would just take the cloth. She would surely be able to sell it for quite some money.

-

When old Mrs Fence returned some hours later she was quite surprised to see the girl looking up at her when she unwrapped her.

„By the devil, she's still alive!" the old lady breathed in shock, staring into the clear grey eyes of the newborn. After a while of silent staring at the girl, the old lady made her decision. She had always thought that her name – Brunhilde – sounded like she was supposed to be a heroine of some sorts, and not a beggar. So, now she was given the chance to do the one heroic deed of her life.

„Your will to survive is exceptional, girl. You deserve a chance," the old lady said and took the bundle up into her arms. The girl seemed almost grateful because she closed her eyes and cuddled herself against the scarf the old lady was wearing. „Don't expect much. However, I humbly think that my place is still superior to death!" And so the old lady carried the young girl back to her little one-room home near the docks of London.

-

The girl that was to become Ellen Walker lived six years with the old beggar lady. When she was two years old, the woman had noticed that the girl seemed to have a strange impact on the world around her. Whenever the girl was in the room it suddenly became warmer even if it was a cold winter night. If the old beggar lady hoped for some rain, it rained. If she wanted sunshine, the sun would push through whatever thunderstorm was raging over London. The old lady didn't think much of it, neither did she ever worry about the child's strange left arm. It was no hindrance to the girl, so it was fine. The woman had never given the girl a name, because she had no intention of claiming her as her own. If she was to have a name, she should choose one for herself. But the girl didn't seem to have any intention to receive a name or to make up one for herself.

„Old lady, I'm back!!" the child's sing-song voice said from the door. The old lady snorted.

„Don't call me that you ungrateful little wench!" she said and the young girl laughed in amusement. The lady studied her with a calm expression, taking in her cheerful demeanour. Despite growing up in this stinking place without enough food to nourish her and no parental love, the girl was developing just fine. She was quite beautiful, with brown hair and a pale complexion, which was often hidden behind the dirt she used to collect while on her tours through the district. Even though her hair was rarely combed, she was always dirty and wore thighs with holes, a brown skirt snatched out of somebody's backyard and a moth eaten brown wool jacket, she still looked as if she didn't belong here. As if she was of a better class. Which she probably was, judging from the white cloth that the old lady kept hidden in a drawer – no, she did not want to keep it away from the girl, but better safe than sorry. „Where have you been anyway?" the old woman wondered after a while. The girl grinned again and produced a bag from behind her back, showing the old woman the contents: bread, some milk, potatoes and some jewellery items. „You've been stealing again, you little idiot?"

„Yes and no, some people gave me things on their own accord and I mostly collected things that people dropped. You know, London's people must be quite careless if they always lose earrings and stuff!" she said smiling brightly. The old lady sighed. It was obvious that the girl had used her strange ability again. Sometimes the lady thought that the girl might be a witch or maybe some otherworldly creature that was dropped into their world by mistake. But she never said anything like this to the girl and she wasn't weary of her.

„Well. You aren't that ungrateful then. Better than my own children ever were", the lady commented while the girl hurried to the little stove they had, warming the milk for the old beggar lady. „I had three sons!" the woman exclaimed and the girl snickered lightly because she had heard this speech thousand times over, „and two of them managed to get killed in war. The third one got lost somewhere in America. Don't even know if that bastard's still alive or already dead. I had more hope for my daughter. Because she managed to marry. But that ungrateful idiot left the city. Never heard of her again. But you, girl, you're a different matter," the old woman said, patting Ellen's head when she gave her the milk.

„I know who I own my life to...," the little girl said with a grin, „that's why I'm getting you the milk, old lady!"

„I told you not to call me that you brat!" the lady hissed, banging her fist on the girl's head, but she had to laugh eventually, the young girl doing the same. By the young girl's standards, she lived a pleasant life.

-

One morning in spring the old lady was dead. She had not woken up again even though she had seemed lively the last evening. The young girl did not cry over the loss, she did not know how to cry. She never pitied herself. She just continued her life how she had lived it the years before. She took care of herself well enough and when she was finally aware of the little magic she could perform she used it to her own benefit. She never took too much, just as much as she needed. She didn't know what abundance was and neither was she interested in finding out. She often spent her days wandering around the harbour, running small errands for people here and there. She enjoyed lingering in the alley connecting the rather bad district to the better streets of the middle-class people. She didn't often leave the shadow of the alley, being content with merely watching the other children play. Observing how people lived and behaved.

„Ah, look! The Alley Girl is here!" a boy called and pointed over at the girl.

„Alley Girl! Why don't you play with us?" another boy asked and the young girl snorted slightly.

„Pfft. Who would want to play with an imagination lacking bunch of idiots!" she said to the group of boys. They pulled faces at her and she just mimicked it until they were cheerful enough to stop arguing and start playing. But as it was the children's way, the young boys could also be very cruel to her, teasing her about her unsightly left arm. In return the girl showed them just how painful it could be when they got a hit in the face by that red hand. The Alley Girl still thought that her life was nice enough.

-

It happened often that the young girl, now 9 years old, was asked to bring various things to houses in the harbour area. The girl knew what they were; brothels, where women sold themselves to men for a bit of money. Lady Barriet's house seemed to be different than the others, especially the men that frequented it wore nicer clothes.

„Excuse me? Here is the silk you asked me to get," Alley Girl called into the corridor. She had come in through the backdoor like she was asked to do and was now standing in a deserted corridor. She could hear women talking somewhere in the distance. She hesitated, but then she advanced, something in her telling herself that it was best to do as she was told; deliver the goods. She passed a kitchen and an empty office without seeing anyone. It seemed to her that the women she heard were in the upper floor, maybe she should head there. The girl went into another dimly lit corridor where she found a door that she carefully opened. It led to a stairway upwards. „Hello?" she called again, „I'm here for the delivery," she repeated and climbed the stairs soundlessly. Of course, she was excited to wander a stranger's house but she also thought that it might not be that good an idea. Still she continued on and now stood in a little hall that led to three other corridors with doors lining the wall. Having no idea where she was heading to she took the corridor to the right and advanced until the girl felt a strange pulling at her and she spotted a door to her left. It was not different than any other doors, but something in her told her that it might be good to open it. But the girl didn't dare to and wanted to continue walking. Just as she did a wind suddenly rose up out of nowhere and pulled the door open, banging it against the wall with a loud sound.

„Now what was that awful wind?!" a voice from inside the room called and the girl could hear footsteps advancing until a woman in a dark purple dress appeared in the door frame. She spotted the young girl standing in front of her door and widened her eyes. „What are you doing here?" she demanded with a stern voice and the girl backed off slightly, „how did you get in here?!"

„I came to deliver the silk you ordered! I was told to come here!" the girl replied loudly, trying to downplay how scared she was. The woman in front of her frowned, but Ellen held out the wrapped silk and she took it, examining it.

„I see... Fine. Well done. Come in, I will give you the money," the woman said and went back into the room. The girl hesitated, but then she stepped in as well, looking around. The room was rather big and beautifully furnished. The girl had never seen such things before and she was rather awed. The woman observed her once she had looked at the silk more carefully.

„Close the door," she ordered and the girl hastily did so. The woman opened a drawer and pulled out some money. „Come here." The girl nodded and walked over to her, standing in front of the desk, waiting without saying anything. The woman studied her. „What's your name?"

„I don't have a name," the girl replied and the woman snorted.

„Then what do you go by?"

„The other children call me Alley Girl", she said looking at the woman with the clear eyes that had also managed to stun the old beggar woman. The landlady made a humming noise, then she handed her the money.

„It will do for the moment. Take this money to the tailor, then come back here." The girl looked at her in wonder. „I've got work for you if you want it. We need someone who cleans up and takes care of the ladies' rooms and dresses." The girl widened her eyes in surprise but then she nodded eagerly, the prospect of becoming a servant with a salary and a place to stay seemed like a gift from God to her. „Don't trip over your feet!" The woman called when the girl hurried out of the room.

„Yes Ma'am!" the young girl replied and ran down the stairs. Madam Barriet laughed lightly and shook her head. „What beauty wasted on a simply street child...!"

After half an hour the young girl returned to the house where the landlady was already waiting for her at the door.

„I will provide you with a room, food and clothes. You will get up at five o'clock and start helping the chef. At seven o' clock you will wake the ladies. They will give you work to do as they see fit. When they are out of their rooms, you will clean up," Madam Barriet explained, leading the girl up to the attic where she showed her a room. It was quite big with two windows with a view over the roofs and chimneys of London. There wasn't much in there and the floor was creaking slightly, but the young girl was very happy. „Stay clear from the main parts of the house, do not talk to our customers." The girl nodded and Madam Barriet studied her again. „Do you know why I have taken you in?"

„No, I do not," the girl replied and the woman snorted.

„Because you are a beautiful girl. It would be a waste to let you die in the streets."

„What? Beautiful?" the girl asked with wide eyes, „me?". Madam Barriet had to laugh when she saw the girl's incredulous stare.

„I have an eye for such things. Beauty does count something in this world, I'm sure you know." The girl didn't say anything. „Well. You may address me with Madam or Madam Barriet. In turn I will give you a name as well." The girl looked up at her in surprise. „I will call you _Helena_. The most beautiful woman. I know I'm not mistaken." The young girl looked up at her.

„Helena," she repeated and frowned.

„What do you think? Isn't it better than Alley Girl?"

„Alley Girl was all I had to offer...", the girl replied and Madam Barriet laughed again.

„As of today you have something more. Now, Helena, I have prepared a dress for you, change and go down into the kitchen, the Chef is preparing dinner!"

„T... Thank you Madam! I am grateful!" Helena called just when Madam Barriet was leaving the room. She turned around and saw Helena wiping her hands – one dirty and the other blood red- against her eyes to make the first tears she had cried in a very long time disappear. „I really am."

„That is good to hear. And now hurry up and make sure to wash your face and brush your hair!" Lady Barriet closed the door behind herself and Helena walked over to the bed where the clothes were lying. She had various dresses and shoes, more than she had ever possessed. She pulled a white silk cloth out of her pocket and put it under the blanked. She had found it just after the old lady's death and treasured it as her own. Now she would be sure to also treasure these gifts. And her name.

„Helena...," the girl whispered. Somehow she did not like how complete and perfect it sounded. Beautiful. Helena did not know much about beauty, but she knew that she was incomplete. She lifted her left hand and studied it. No. An incomplete girl like her should not possess such a perfect name. Therefore she decided to alter it, just for herself, just in secret. In her head _Ellen_ started to come to life.

-

In the year 1850, when Helena was ten years old, Madam Barriet called her to her office. Until today the young girl had been very pleased with the life she led in Madam's high class establishment. The women were all very cheerful and nice and the customers entering and leaving the house were interesting as well. She often observed them even though she should stay away from them.

„Helena. It seems that you are not that good at being invisible," the landlady started and Helena bit her lip, „a lot of people keep asking about the young girl living under my roof. Remember, Helena, you are simply a servant in this house," Madam Barriet reminded the young girl.

„Yes Madam. I am aware of that. I will try to avoid the main corridors better," she promised and Madam Barriet smiled.

„Well. It is difficult to hide such beauty, I know. I have been accused of keeping you, dear Helena, all to myself..."

„What do you mean by that?" Helena wondered in confusion.

„Ah no, nothing. Just some silly men that do not know how to spend their times better than looking at young girls," she replied laughing in amusement. She cleared her throat after some time. „As it stands, you are far too young to enter this business and I think it would be a waste... But it remains a fact that I have been asked by quite some renowned men about you. If you consent you can escort them."

„Escort them? What exactly do you mean by that?" Helena wanted to know. She only knew about men coming to this establishment, not women going out of it.

„These old men are often lonely. They would come here and take you out, as they would take out a grand-child, a daughter or a niece... You could go to the parks, or to the opera or to the zoological garden, whatever these men want. But nothing more. That would be the deal. Of course, the money they pay for these afternoons will go to me, but you will also get a share of it once you're older. What do you think about it?"

„I... I think that sounds very interesting, Madam," Helena replied with an excited smile, „I have never been to a opera before!" Madam Barriet had to laugh.

„Oh child. It doesn't seem like you have any worries in the world, but I should know better... Anyway, if you are to spend time with these men, you also need to behave like a proper young lady." Madam Barriet turned to her desk, pulling out a parchment. „I will go ask for a tutor. You will learn how to behave, how to read and how to write." Helena widened her eyes.

„Learn to read and to write? Really? Thank you Madam!!" Helena said cheerfully.

„But you need to work for it, got it? Make these men happy, if only for some hours."

„Yes! Thank you! Thank you so much!" she said and after she was dismissed, she rushed out of the room and up to her own chamber. She pulled the cloth out from underneath the pillow and traced the letters stitched into the silk. She really did not care about her origins or the past, but to have something – even if it was just one word – from a life she was not allowed to lead, it would surely feel nice.

-

Helena of Madam Barriet's really transformed herself into a fine young lady. She spent a lot of time out of the house, keeping company to men that paid to have the sweet little girl by their side. By the time she was thirteen she had already brought a small fortune to Madam Barriet.

„Helena!" a woman called from downstairs, perched up on the wooden railing. The brown haired girl came down the stairs.

„Yes? What is it?"

„Today you have ambassador Perks on the schedule. You'll be late if you don't hurry up!"

„Oh, yes. That would be quite bad, he told me to meet at nearly the other end of town!" The other lady laughed heartily.

„Should I get a coach for you?"

„Oh, Anne! I would love you for that!" Helena replied, hurrying into one of the living rooms, where Madam was waiting for her.

„Helena! There you are! Another meeting with Mister Perks I heard?"

„Yes, Madam. This time he takes me out to the opera!" Helena said cheerfully. The woman studied her for some time.

„Hm. Don't get too excited, Helena. You are not a harlot, child. You accompany these men in order to make them happy for a while. But not more than this. If they want more you have to refuse. I want you to protect your virtue at any cost..."

„Dear Madam, I will not make any thoughtless moves..."

„I know you won't but it might get harder to refuse customers now that you are 13..." she told her and Helena nodded, „so keep your eyes open right?"

„Yes Madam."

„Helena! The coach is ready!" Anne called from the entrance hall and Helena bid the others in the living room good-bye. Anne helped her into her white coat and as she wanted to leave through the door it opened on its own. The brown haired girl saw a very tall man with a stern face looking at her. She excused herself and left the house, walking down the stairs to climb into the coach.

„Hm. Is Madam Barriet in the house?" the man asked when he had closed the door after himself.

„Yes. How can I help you?" the woman asked, coming out of the living room. „A new customer?"

„Yes. I heard you were the most renowned of these sort of establishments in London," the man said, readjusting his monocle.

„Thank you. Yes, we uphold this reputation," the woman replied.

„I trust then that you have someone to my liking. Someone virtuous, someone young and untouched..." Madam Barriet widened her eyes but then she became aware of the young boy standing behind the man. „I want only the best for my son."

-

When Helena returned that day she was surprised when she was immediately taken to her room by Madam Barriet.

„Helena, listen. Today a man came to us. And he bought your services," she said and Helena nodded, „not just any services... Dear Helena."

„I understand Madam. I will do anything you want from me. I know how to be grateful," she said with a cheerful and honest smile. Madam Barriet sighed, but then she nodded, leaving the room.

„He will join you in a few moments. Nobody expects you to be an expert. The man wanted someone untouched... I still regret that I had to accept his offer, but he is a very important man... How could I refuse…?".

„I will do my best," Helena replied still very cheerfully. Madam Barriet looked at her with a troubled expression, but then she sighed and nodded, excusing herself. The girl bid her good-bye with a smile. She was not worried at all, she had heard about this from the other women often enough. It was nothing to worry about. She would get used to it. It paid well. That's just what she could do now to repay the debts she had with Madam Barriet.

Helena was sitting on her bed, readjusting the stockings she wore, when it knocked on the door.

„It is open, come in," she said cheerfully and the door opened soundlessly to reveal a young man, not older than she herself was. He was thin and wore a suit looking like a uniform. He had his light brown hair combed back neatly and wore a stern look, but it was strained, the nervous pout he wore betrayed him. His hand was also trembling slightly when he closed the door. He stayed there at the entrance, not moving an inch. Helena looked at him in awe; he was very cute and she could feel her heart making an excited jump. So that was her customer!

„Hello! My name is Helena, pleased to meet you!"

„Malcolm C. Leverrier..." the boy said stiffly, still not moving.

„Why are you standing there like a statue? Do you not want to take a seat Mister Leverrier?". The boy seemed very reluctant, but then he moved away from the door, sitting himself down on the chair next to Helena's desk. She chuckled lightly.

„What's there to laugh?", he demanded, „I don't like this", he added.

„Excuse me. I will not laugh again. But what don't you like?"

„Coming here. Father made me do it. He said I needed to gain experiences with women now, before I start my career. But I didn't want to go to a prostitute! Especially such a young one..."

„I can assure you, Mister Leverrier, that I am no prostitute. At least I have not been one until today," Helena said with a bright smile. Malcolm narrowed his eyes in embarrassment, studying his fingers.

„Then it's even worse. I will be responsible for the fall of a woman! I really don't like it!" Helena studied him for a while, but then sighed. It was her duty to make him happy and to ease his worries. She would just do what she did best; put on a smile and make the best of the situation.

„Well... If you like I will just be spending time with you... If you stay in London for a while, then you will still have time to do as your father wishes. It does not really matter if it's me or someone else."

„I'll be here for about a year..." he said carefully, thinking about her words „do you think it will be fine?"

„Why wouldn't it? You bought my services, it is up to you to decide what you want to do with me!" Helena said with a chuckle, „there surely is more than one way to gain experience!" The young boy remained silent for a while, but then he nodded and looked up.

„Then I want that. If we go out together then we will be just like...", he stopped and frowned.

„Like what?"

„Like a couple?" Helena blinked at him in wonder but then she laughed and nodded. The young boy blushed but Helena's cheerful smile calmed him down quite a bit.

„Yes, like that." He pressed his lips together but then he held out his hand to her. Helena smiled and left the bed to take the hand he offered her. He was a head taller than her and still furrowed his brow, which made him look older than he was. They stood there in a strained silence, until Helena started chuckling all of a sudden and pulled at him.

"Then what are we waiting for? Come! I will show you London!"

"F… Fine…"

-

The two children spend quite some time together. Malcolm's father allowed it, it was fine for him that he didn't have to take care of his son, he had more important things to do after all.

"Malcolm Leverrier! Why will we not go out and have a cup of chocolate at the coffee house?" Helena asked cheerfully. Malcolm frowned.

"Why don't you stop calling me like that! It's stupid," he complained, holding on to her hand as she was making her way to the coffee house. "Helena, stop laughing all the time!"

"Why? What else should I call you then?" she wondered and pushed the door open.

"You should just call me Malcolm! I told you thousand times over! And let me open the door!" Helena smiled at him and he guided her to a table still wearing that adorable pout that Helena liked so much. "You are laughing again!"

"But that's good, isn't it? I enjoy your company that much!" Malcolm blushed.

"Really? You're not just saying that?" Helena smiled and shook her head. "Huum. Okay… Then that's fine. You can laugh as much as you want then", the 14-year-old said. Helena giggled and received a cup of chocolate that she shared with her little boyfriend.

"Helena…" Malcolm started after a while and the girl looked up at him, "we've already been together for half a year. Do you not get tired of me? You stopped seeing all other men for me…"

"Why should I grow tired of you? You are the most interesting boy I've ever met!" The young boy didn't say anything for a long time, but then he mustered his courage.

"I… I want to ask my father if I can keep you," he told her and Helena looked at him in surprise. "You could leave Madam Barriet's establishment and come with me. Would you… do that if my father consented?" Helena studied him for a while and as she didn't answer Malcolm blushed. "I… It's just that… I think that we would be a very nice couple and that I guess that I lo-"

"Thank you," Helena interrupted him and smiled at him, "thank you for being so kind…" Malcolm recovered and coughed in embarrassment.

"What do you say Helena?"

"I would be happy to come with you if your father consents," she replied and Malcolm smiled at her, "ah! You smiled at me!"

"That's not true!!"

-

Some months later, Helena was lying on the floor in the attic, looking out of the window with wide eyes. The moon light was throwing a bright panel of light into the room, in which Helena had crept for comfort. She was scared and in pain. Her whole body felt like it was burnt by ice flowing through her. Her left arm was lying next to her, trembling, it was cracking at some parts, little pieces of it breaking out. She saw that there was no blood in her arm, it was just a hollow thing. But it was terrible painful. She looked into the sky, for once not clouded. But she didn't really see anything. She was looking through the eyes of other people. She was seeing time and worlds pass by in the blink of an eye. She saw tragedies repeated over and over again until her eyes went nearly blind with all the images and the tears she shed. She was terrified, but the people through whose eyes she saw felt nothing. Nothing even as worlds were shattered around themselves, even as people lay dying at her feet.

But lying awake was not the only thing she'd do. Sometimes she would no longer be a real part of her body. Sometimes she went out into the streets in her white silk gown, wandering barefooted through the alleys, both of her hands reaching out, the white one shining in the moon light, the red one still crumbling, spreading glittering dust behind her.

Helena knew, there was someone in her, sharing her thoughts, her feelings, her life. Another her that she did not see when she looked into the mirror, another her that nobody knew despite all the time they spent with her. It was the secret identity that Helena had kept hidden, one of the many lives that she did not lead even though it was inside of her.

_It was Ellen who was awakening._

-

Malcolm visited her after she had slightly recovered from her "illness". He inspected her hand that had no turned black and smooth.

"Do you think that was the cause of it?" he wondered and Helena put the glove back on and shook her head.

"I really do no know if it was. But I think it's over now… I have no idea how such a change was possible… It doesn't seem to be a normal defect…"

"Certainly not… I do not know what it is, but I have a certain idea about it… I have heard about a substance nesting itself into humans… My father talked about it once to one of my relatives, but whenever I ask about it he just says that I will come to know soon enough…". Helena sighed, but Malcolm put his hand over hers. "Don't be worried… There must be a remedy for it…"

"I don't know… It no disease after all…" Helena mumbled, but then she put her cheerful smile back on, even though it was harder for her to do it the current circumstances. "But let us not talk about it! I am happy that you came to visit me!"

"It was quite hard to come here you must know. My father first thought that you caught a disease while working…" Malcolm blushed a bit, "however, I told him that I was the only one you were intimate with."

"And that's true. Thanks for trusting me," Helena said with a smile. Malcolm studied her for some time, but then he let go of her hand and got up from the bed they were sitting on. He crossed his arms over his chest and started walking around the room. "What's the matter?" Helena wanted to know.

"It's my father… I asked him if we could marry like we two discussed. He seemed pretty opposed, even though he had no problems with us spending as much time together as we could…"

"I am not surprised," Helena said, "first of all we are still young and you have to study hard. And then there's always your and his reputation to consider…"

"I am no idiot, of course I know that. I tried to argue with him and in the end he told me that I should go study first and if I still wanted to marry you then I could return to get you." Helena looked at him in wonder. He seemed pretty resolved and looked at her with his determined face. "I have made up my mind. That is what I will do…". Helena nodded and lowered her head. There was nothing that she could say.

-

When her first love left Helena, she was not crying. She was not as sad as she probably should be. She did not put her hopes on him returning to her side, so she just closed that part of her live and continued on like she did before. Of course, her heart was aching a bit and she regretted Malcolm's departure, but now she had other things to worry about. Now that she was turning 15 shortly she would have to do the same work like all the other women in Madam Barriet's establishment. She never complained, she never thought about leaving the life she led now. She was content with what she had.

However, there was a thing called Destiny. And Destiny came to claim what was rightfully hers.

-

"Aaaah. Finally you have awakened! Dear child, dear child!" Helena looked up from the ground she was sitting on. In her window stood a big, round man, grinning down at her. She blinked a few times, because blood was running in little streams from her forehead and she didn't see clearly. The man let himself into the room, another girl trailing behind him.

"She's really cute!"

"My Destiny always is", the strange man – who resembled a human only vaguely – replied, wiping his eyes and nose with a big handkerchief.

"Earl, you're crying again!"

"No, it's just that London's nights are quite chilly!", the man said and the girl laughed, then she turned to Helena.

"Do you know who we are? We are your family!" Helena just looked at her grinning face. The girl seemed very familiar to her, just like the man. "What's your name?"

"Ellen…"

"Now, Ellen. Let us go home. You've been among these despicable humans long enough," the girl said.

"It is time to leave your human life behind. You are now the Noah of Destiny." Ellen studied the two and nodded. There was no way out of it, she knew. She had seen it countless times, she knew what she was supposed to do, she knew what her fate was. There was no point in crying, so she did what she could best. Smile and do the best of it.

-

Kanda looked at Ellen wordlessly. She was sitting next to him, calm and composed, never crying while she told her tale. She refused to look at Kanda, even as he was studying her intently after she had finished the tale. After an extended moment of silence, Ellen breathed in and sighed deeply, shaking her head.

"You must think me now even more tainted than before. My human life was not better than what you have seen up to now. Surely your hopes for my _redemption_ must be smashed," she said with a smile, still looking at her hands. Kanda stayed silent for a while, but then he sighed deeply.

"No," he simply said and Ellen couldn't help but raise her head, looking at him with wide grey eyes. It was clear to him that she did not understand what he meant. "Actually, hearing of your story makes me understand you more. I disliked parts of you because I thought that you did them because of your Noah background. However, I was wrong… I still do not know who the Noah of Destiny really is… But I think I finally understand _you_ now…"

"But… How can you say that?" Ellen asked with doubt written in her face. Kanda looked away from her, focussing on the window next to his hourglass.

"You never demanded more than you had, you never hated humans no matter what they did to you, no matter what they asked of you. You do things because you think that you must. You think you owe people, you think you must be grateful for what you have and what you can get." He turned his head back to look at her, "it's as you said, you just smile and do what you think must be done. All the tragedies you encountered, you just swallowed the pain and continued. Not because you thought that once it's over better times will follow… But because you hoped that what you did would repay those that had once given you. And despite having become a Noah you continue to hope…" Ellen was pressing her lips together and lowered her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "What I hope…" He put his hand on Ellen's shoulder, squeezing slightly, and she looked up at him, tears sliding down her cheeks, "is that you will see that you owe nobody… You should be free to choose for yourself, Ellen." Kanda knew, those were big words, maybe he chose them too carelessly. But he was not good at dealing with people, he was not good at trying to analyse their emotions and behaviour. So he could just guess and act on instinct. However, was he truly right? Did Ellen work based on her own need to pay her debts? Ellen raised her hands to her face, trying to stop the flow of tears, but they slipped past her fingers. There was no way to stop now that she started. He must have been right, but was the judgment he passed right? Was she really free to choose? Was she free of guilt?

"Certainly not…" Kanda thought and watched Ellen cry, "but maybe she wishes to get rid of it. Maybe she regrets what she had to do… However…"

"You think too highly of me… If I were as good as you make me sound, and believe me I am not – you know it -, then we both would not be here right now," Ellen argued and lowered her hands to her lap. Kanda remained silent for a while.

"That does not matter now," he replied and Ellen looked up at him, "We were talking about your human life… I know that I should not be ignoring your Noah part… However, I think that for the moment it does not matter. Foremost we are humans…" Kanda put his other hand on Ellen's shoulder turning her upper body towards his, so that he was facing her directly. "Listen… We humans need support. We… can be overwhelmed by tragedies, by bad experiences and hard times…" Kanda brought himself to say, while Ellen listened with wondered, "I know it. You know it, but you rarely let it through to you. I haven't seen you crying often, but you did. I know you cared. And I think that you've always been alone with your worries and doubts…" Kanda lowered his head, thinking over his next words. When he looked back up, Ellen was surprised to see his blue eyes looking at her with honest concern and determination. "Don't do this on your own. You have me now. Confide in me, believe in me, as you did before. But don't do it because I'm just some puppet pulled by the strings Mana set up. I want you to trust me…" Ellen was completely speechless by the time Kanda stopped and just stared up at him with wide eyes until new tears formed. "Let me help you. Will you?" Ellen squeezed her eyes shut and lowered her head, nodding faintly, but then she looked up again, blinking away her tears.

"That's really unexpected of you… Your reasoning is quite based on emotions…" Ellen managed to say, wiping the corners of her eyes with her fingers. She laughed meekly, but stopped when Kanda put his hand on Ellen's cheek.

"I'm still trying to use reason. But I have been overwhelmed," he said, then, without waiting for an answer from Ellen, he leant over and put his lips over hers. "I cannot help it. The imprints you have left on me run too deep. I cannot erase you even if I wanted to…" Ellen blinked at him in surprise, but a dry sob escaped her lips and she flung her arms around Kanda's neck, embracing him.

"That's not what I wanted…", she breathed against his cheek and Kanda could feel the wetness of her tears on his skin. "I…" Kanda put his arms around her, breathing in the scent of her hair.

"Neither did I…"

"I am so sorry…" Ellen whispered, putting a kiss on Kanda's cheek that sent warmth all through his body. And as he held her in his arms, here and then kissing her lips, it seemed to Kanda as if all those years of piled up guilt never existed. As if they were just two humans, back when she was still 15 and he still 18, before Innocence and Destiny turned them into something that they never wanted to be. Maybe it was still all wrong and Kanda severely failed to stay true to his resolve, but he couldn't help it. Neither of them attempted to stop even though both seemed to have reserves about what they were doing.

"I just hope…" Ellen whispered, "that you will not hate me..." Kanda did not know what she meant, but he saw her tears. Somehow he knew that now things would get even more complicated. But he hoped, that it would be worth it.

_To be continued_

**Notes:**

Foreshadowing? Anyway. This was a part of Ellen's past. A lot remains hidden, however we had some progress. I'm not that fond with the chapter's end though… *frown*

I would be happy to know what you think! :3


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Notes:**

Again, sorry for the long wait, I was uninspired and I have not yet decided where on the world map I should force Ellen and Kanda to go next *lol*

This chapter has a scene with the Noahs, so spoilers of course of Cyril and Lulubell, but I guess you already know them.

Other than that I hope that you can enjoy this short chapter

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

* * *

Ellen refused to go to dinner that evening and Kanda decided to remain in the room as well. Somehow a veil of uncertainty and tension had been put over them. Kanda was not sure what to say to her. He was not even sure what exactly he had in his mind when breaking through his own resistances. He wondered how he was actually able to feel emotions of pity and adoration for her while he was at the same time doubtful, wary and uncomfortable in her presence. She had said to him that she hoped that he will not come to hate her. What had she meant by that? Did she consider it a mistake as well to get closer on an emotional level? Certainly, it would not prove to be that beneficial to his morals as an exorcist if he fell in love with a Noah – but that was exactly the point. Kanda did not even know much of her Noah form. Was her personality different? Did she look different? All he knew is that it was this aspect of her that caused uneasiness in him. He liked the vulnerable, honest human girl that he was allowed to see from time to time and he also liked her strength and determination as an exorcist. But he was mistrustful of her Noah side. There were still many unanswered questions between them and Kanda could feel the tension they created especially strong right now. And next to these questions there was also a deep running pain that she had inflicted upon him. He had despised her before, hated her for what she made him suffer through and he still disliked her at time. But still, why this renewed question? Why would he come to hate her _again_? But no matter how pressing this uncomfortable question was, Kanda felt that he was not allowed to ask about it at this time, and even if he dared to, she would not give him an answer. So he refrained from easing his mind by directly asking and decided to ponder for a while longer. The solution to it might as well be right in front of his eyes if he just thought about it for a while.

„Maybe it is because she still has her heart elsewhere. Does she think that she is under obligation to love me and does she fear that I would hate her if she turned back to her Noah lover?" Kanda frowned which went unnoticed by Ellen, as the girl sat next to the Lotus hourglass, back towards him. „Would I? I don't think so. But I certainly would be... unsatisfied on an emotional level. However, I must not forget the prophecy. He is a threat. I must make sure that she will understand me. I have not abandoned my plan. I will convince her with reason, but will also try to appeal to her heart."

Kanda was interrupted in his musings when he heard a knock on his door. Ellen did turn towards him and Kanda got up to open. He was not especially surprised when he found the Rome guy standing stiffly before him. He made a short bow.

„Good evening General Kanda. Excuse my late appearance. I tried to catch you at dinner but found you absent." Link explained and Kanda merely replied by nodding.

„Do you want to talk to my disciple again?" Kanda wondered in a bored tone, but Link shook his head.

„No, General, I have come here on Mister Leverrier's bidding. He asks to meet you and Ellen Walker. Seeing as you had enough time to think, he wants to hear your decision," the inspector replied and Kanda snorted humourlessly.

„Time to think? My decision? I was not aware that I had an actual choice in this matter," he said sarcastically but Link did not comment on his tone.

„He expects you both in ten minutes."

„Well, then tell him that we will be there," Kanda said, making a dismissive gesture with his hand and Link nodded. He bowed and disappeared as swiftly as he had come without a word or glance in Ellen's direction. Kanda closed the door and turned towards Ellen.

„He seemed a bit stiff. What have you done to him?" he wondered and Ellen smiled slightly, walking up to Kanda.

„There is nothing that I have done. You need not worry about such things," Ellen assured him and Kanda, unconvinced as he was, had no reason to contradict her.

„Maybe I don't need to worry about him, but I worry about Leverrier. You two have a past together. And even though he assumes you to be Helena's daughter, he still knows that you hold a connection to Cross...". He looked down at Ellen's left arm. „Will he not be suspicious? He knows your arm, to find the same on you who he considers to be his friend's daughter must make him at least curious...". Ellen shrugged, but did not appear to be troubled by this.

„There is no point in worrying without knowing what he will say to us. Let us stop thinking about it and meet him. He might have reasons to suspect me to be the girl he once knew. But remember the time that passed. He has grown from a boy to a man in the almost 40 years that have passed us by." Ellen said then she looked Kanda in the eye. „And now look at me. Do you not see a girl of 15?" Kanda merely nodded and Ellen did as well, „You see that it would be strange of him to accuse me of being Helena of Madam Barriet's." Kanda opened the door and they stepped out into the hall. Kanda, seeing Link lingering in the corridor, assuring that they would come, turned to Ellen:

„Did your _mother_ regret that he did not return to get her out of Madam Barriet's establishment?". Ellen did not even blink in confusion.

„My mother did regret, but she never wished for a different fate. And who knows, maybe he did return for her. She was not long there to wait for him," Ellen answered. „But I wonder why you would like to know?" Her polite smile seemed a bit cheeky to Kanda, but he looked past his embarrassment.

„I am equipped with a healthy portion of good natured interest in you and your mother," Kanda replied with a cough and they followed Link to Leverrier's room. Ellen was laughing lightly when they stood in front of the door.

„I see, well you shall have your questions answered in due time, but do not ask too many private questions about my _mother_, it is not proper!" she teased and Kanda sulked until they were admitted into the room. Once they were in Leverrier's domain both of them got serious again, walking up to the desk the official currently claimed as his own.

„A good evening to you two," Leverrier greeted and offered them seats in front of his desk. They did, even though Kanda would have preferred to stand. Even though he was not afraid of Leverrier, he had an intimidating presence that towered over you when you were not on eye-level with him. Kanda waited for Leverrier to continue and he did after a while. He gave Ellen a long look, then he showed her an overly pleasant smile.

„We have not been introduced properly and I must have surprised you by my strange question when we last met. My name is Malcolm C. Leverrier," he said. Ellen bowed her head in recognition.

„I am honoured. My name is Ellen Walker," she replied perfectly calm. Kanda was quite impressed by her ability to control herself.

„Let me ask you a question, Miss Walker," after seeing Ellen nod, Leverrier continued, „Why and how did you learn from General Cross?"

„It is him who came to me. It seemed that he found in me an ability to cast magic and therefore was willing to attempt to cooperate with me. He would have not suffered my presence if I had no benefits for him. He trained me to use my Innocence properly. But it was not until General Yu Kanda found me that I actually became what he envisioned me to be," Ellen answered in what Kanda perceived to be half truth and half lies. Leverrier listened attentively, but whether he bought her lies or not was not apparent in his unchanging face.

„So he did not send you to the Black Order then?"

„He left me, where he went I do not know, but he did not oblige me to become an exorcist. He told me his wish for me to be one, but he did not force me to make a choice going against my wishes," Ellen answered, „When my General found me I had already made up my mind to join him." Here she threw Kanda a glance, smiling slyly. Kanda frowned. Her wording left a bitter taste: Join him. She had not made up her mind to join his _side_ – namely the exorcists – but to join _him_, Kanda. Next to this it had seemed to Kanda that it had been him to make the crucial decision to make an exorcist out of her. Of course, he knew now, it had been foolish to claim to have any say in this. In the plan Mana had woven and Ellen now continued, he was not destined to have a free will. He would not be the one to make choices, he only acted on her cues. She was, despite the human heart she still seemed to possess, his destiny. Was there even any chance to make the crucial decision that would secure humanity's survival?

Leverrier muttered an answer that Kanda did not bother to hear – it sounded like curses directed at Cross' person.

„What will you have us do?" the general asked and Leverrier looked at him.

„Hrm. You are willing to do as I told you then?"

„Yes," Kanda replied without saying anything else about his thoughts on the matter. Leverrier seemed to be half contend and half unhappy about Kanda's reply.

„What hypocrisy," Kanda thought angrily, „while Ellen Walker was just a name on a sheet of paper he did not care one bit about her fate. Now that he has seen her and knows her to hold a connection to his own past, he regrets his harshness!"

„Then I want you to proceed as planned. With Ellen Walker at your side I wish you to find General Marian Cross! Do not let him escape you alive. If you find him tell him that I will not have him abandon his mission. It shall be completed! Aid him if he has nearly achieved his aim, if not, immediately return with him. That is all." Kanda nodded, got up and bowed, Ellen doing the same.

„Miss Walker," Leverrier stopped her before she could follow Kanda to the door. „Excuse me asking what is none of my concern, but was your father an honest man?" To Kanda she did not seem all too surprised at his question, but she still feigned short-lived confusion.

„He was a worthy, good man with great ambitions..." Ellen replied with a faint smile. After Leverrier gave an absent-minded nod, she excused herself and left the room with Kanda. They bid Link good-night and silently returned to their chamber.

"It must be awkward for you to talk to him in this manner…" Kanda said, pulling out his travelling suitcase from underneath his bed. Ellen laughed slightly and threw him a glance over her shoulder.

"You know me not to be such an emotional person. My outburst from earlier that day took even me by surprise. Now I have gained satisfactory control over the situation," she answered and Kanda raised an eyebrow to show his scepticism about it. Ellen saw his face, upon which she laughed. "Why are you so doubtful? It has been 40 years, he is not the man I was destined to love," she told him and folded some clothes (Kanda had forced some people to get her decent spare clothes).

"Tch. Why do you think there even is anybody that your are _destined_ to love?"

"Because that is how it works," she replied, putting the clothes into her suitcase gracefully. She didn't seem troubled in the least by what she was saying. Kanda had to frown in annoyance.

"Incredibly romantic – the one and only love of one's life. Soul-mates, is it not?"

"You can be sarcastic about it all you want, I never asked you to share my views," she said cheerfully and closed the suitcase. She put her hands on it and looked at Kanda, the corners of her lips drawn up into an ambiguous smile. Kanda was irritated about it and slammed his suitcase shut.

"Well yes, I am sarcastic. Because you imply that you were destined to love Mana! Or that sleazy Noah?"

"Mana, yes, but I already told you about my feelings I have concerning the nature of my love towards him," Ellen said and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"You say that destiny forces you to fall in love with someone who will slip out of your grasp? Why so tragic?" Kanda wanted to know, "if you _are_ destiny then wouldn't it be beneficial to provide a lover that will last?" Ellen sighed slightly and sat on the bed, unbuttoning her clothes to switch into her nightgown.

"To love Mana was beneficial – for someone at least. Have you forgotten? I am not the one to make decisions. I am a tool."

"I have not forgotten. But then who did make the decision, who could benefit? Destiny, if you want to put it that way, must have seen something in him. But then let's consider that Destiny is a Noah. So for her to further the Earl's aim would be the most desirable outcome. So why Mana? Mana was a traitor and, being Destiny, she should have known that. So what did she, what did _you_, hope to gain by this relationship?". It was Ellen's time to look disgruntled now. It was clear that she did not like the direction into which this cross examination headed. She averted her eyes, taking off her clothes.

"I told you not to ask too many questions, it is not proper…" she told him, but he was daring tonight. He crossed the distance of the huge bed and put his hand on her naked shoulder.

"Who are you to speak of things not proper?" he asked with a dark grin on his lips. Ellen furrowed her brows and turned her head to the side, looking at him.

"Remember, Yu Kanda, for this is important: the Noah have not always sided with the Earl. They are humans after all, humans of a different descent, but humans none the less. But still, they serve as tools for the Earl in his scenario. You might understand them to be the same as you: the Noah are tools to help the Earl to purge the seemingly rotten humanity from the face of Earth. The exorcists will help the Vatican – an organization created by humans – to counter this treat to their religion and to purge the seemingly heretic humans out of society. You see, the aim is the same: the destruction of some part not wanted in their ideal image of the world. All Noahs can interfere in both spheres, whereas the exorcists can't. The Noah of Destiny has another ability; she or he does not only interfere but also controls. Depending on what actions the Noah of Destiny takes both sides can be influences to a great deal – however, even the Noah of Destiny has limits. With each passing generation more of the limits were overcome. But one barrier always remained and the scenario of the Earl could not be achieved."

"And which barrier is that?" Kanda wondered, listening attentively even though she seemed to have changed the topic. Ellen smiled and lifted her arm.

"Innocence," she replied and Kanda frowned. "And in this generation, the Noah of Destiny has overcome this barrier… And now to your question; as cruel as it might sound, by entering into a relationship with Mana, a traitor who was destined to die, I gained even more abilities. First of all, the Noah of Destiny does not only carry Innocence, but also gained the ability to control Noah's Ark most efficiently. Next to this, I made a first step into yet another realm: that of the Dark Matter by being cursed by an Akuma."

"So it sounds as if you are complete now…" Kanda mused darkly, which was replied by a smile from Ellen. "But could this not have happened differently? And if you really did only see that merit in Mana, why did his death and the Earl's betrayal hurt you so?"

"I am in a way like an Akuma. The Noah of Destiny evolves out of tragedies… Death is inevitable… And to answer your other question… It did hurt me, I was not lying. I have still a human heart and it was my human self that got in the way of the Noah. However, I was ready to swallow that bitterness for the sake of the Earl. Even though this murder still was etched deep into me, it was forgiven superficially. But the Earl did something else that made the betrayal bleed anew," Ellen said, "And this," she continued when Kanda wanted to open his mouth, "I am not ready to talk about now. I have already talked too much. I am tired from being too emotional," Ellen said and pulled her nightgown over her head. Then she put the suitcase away and gently pushed Kanda off her cushions so that she could lie down.

"I will not ask further, but let my try to sort out my thoughts…" he said, lying down next to her. When she did not give an answer he found it okay to continue. "You loved Leverrier, but he was never destined to be your lover so you can now remorselessly interact with him. Mana remains on your mind because you chose him and even though the loss should have been painless, it still ached you because you had true human affection for him…"

"I doubt that you need me to comment on this," Ellen mumbled against her pillow. She sounded half-asleep but her eyes were wide open, staring intently at something Kanda could not see.

"No, I am already convinced that this is the truth. So how about your Noah lover?" Ellen didn't say anything, "You knew that I was going to ask this."

"Of course I knew," Ellen replied calmly, her eyes still unblinking and wide.

"Is he the next one you are destined to love?" Kanda wondered, looking at her. Ellen shook her head, finally moving again. She raised her eyes, looking directly into his eyes.

"He is a tragedy for my heart… But _he_ is not the tragedy destiny will have me suffer through…" she whispered and Kanda knew the weight of the words she left unspoken. He pulled her near and kissed her pale cheek.

"Yes… A tragedy indeed…" he said into the dark and Ellen remained silent.

-

The next morning, Ellen was gone. Kanda sat up in bed, realizing that he must have fallen asleep with his clothes still on. He looked around but only could find Timcampy on his night-table sitting on a note. Kanda pushed the golem away and took the piece of paper.

"The family gathers for tea. I will be back for our departure. I have left you Timcampy for emergencies. – Ellen Walker," Kanda read and frowned in irritation. This was certainly not the best opportunity to go back to the Earl. She should have gone after they left the Black Order so that the others had no way to find out. But now he could not change it. He would just need to stay clear of Link or Leverrier and wait for her return.

-

Ellen sat in an armchair next to the Earl. Rhode was sitting on her lap, playing with her hair.

"You should not stay away so long, Ellen! I'm bored when you're not here!" the girl said and Ellen smiled pleasantly.

"Why should you be bored? Does your father not entertain you enough?" she wondered and looked over to Cyril. The man sat down his tea cup, putting on an unhappy pout.

"Rhode! Do I bore you?! That cannot be! Papa is always supplying you with the finest toys!" he argued with a slight wail in his tone. What an outrageous thought! He – the perfect papa – not being able to satisfy his cute little girl?

"And there is always homework to do if you're bored, Rhode," the Earl commented which had Rhode groan.

"I do not want homework! I do not want toys! I want Ellen!" Rhode argued and pushed her cheek against Ellen's breast.

"Stop being so childish, Rhode," Tyki, who just entered into the parlour, said with a grin.

"Ah! Tyki! You're late!" Rhode shouted and boxed him, "get away from Ellen, don't you see that I claimed her?" the girl said as Tyki wanted to plant a kiss on Ellen's mouth. The girl pushed her feet against Tyki's hip and forced him to take a seat next to Cyril instead.

"Tch! What's it with her today?!" he hissed in annoyance and took the tea the Akuma servant gave him.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone jealously wants our dear Ellen for themselves. And who can blame them?" the Earl said amusedly and ate some cookies. Tyki frowned, but he let the matter rest.

"I haven't seen you for quite some time, Ellen. Mind telling me where you were?" Tyki wondered and Ellen raised an eyebrow. It was unusual for Tyki to ask such a question. He usually did not care.

"I have done nothing in particular seeing as the Earl of Millennium has not assigned me any new missions," she replied.

"Indeed. I did not, I did not. I wanted to see how the things developed. As it seems the exorcists haven't moved yet, even though the location of the Ark must be clear to them," the Earl said and drank his overly sweet tea.

"Would we be able to counter strike an attack? They must want to take possession of the Egg," Lulubell said quietly and looked at Ellen, "can we trust Ellen to be able to protect the Ark if necessary?"

"No. We all know that Ellen cannot physically fend off the exorcists. Not yet," the Earl said which made Ellen listen up. Not yet he said?

"What about making her spy on the exorcists? It should not be hard to enter into their ranks with her Innocence," Rhode suggested but the Earl shook his head not saying anything about that.

"What will you have me do then?" Ellen wondered not changing her calm face even at Rhode's suggestion.

"For you it is important to stay clear of harm. In order to commence and succeed with the _Three Days of Darkness_ we need you, Ellen. As to the Ark – let that be my worry. If you get bored then you are free to secure me more influence all over the world."

"It would be my pleasure to do that," Ellen replied with a smile. Something about that made Tyki uneasy, Ellen noticed as much and asked him about it.

"I don't think that it's a good idea for you to travel that freely. You could encounter exorcists," he explained.

"Why, of course. But you seem to forget that I only travel in my human form. They cannot recognize me and thus have no reason to attack me," she assured him, but it was clear that it was not worry about her that made him object.

"If you don't like her to be not readily available when you want her to, then there is one thing I could advice you to do!" Cyril chirped and Tyki frowned at him.

"Aha, and what would that be?"

"Marry her! Then she'll stay where you want her to!" Cyril said, patting Tyki's head affectionately.

"You know that this is old-fashioned talk, papa. Ellen is too independent for that," Rhode commented and looked up at Ellen, "but it would be great if you came to us more often!"

"I will try to make my visits more frequent," Ellen said, then she gave Rhode a kiss on the cheek and put her back on the ground. "Please excuse me now," Ellen said.

"Of course, you're free to go," the Earl said pleasantly. Tyki got up immediately and followed Ellen out of the parlour.

"What's the matter with you? Don't you want to spend time with me? Is there someone else?" Tyki said in a low tone, catching hold of Ellen's arm. The Noah turned around and studied Tyki.

"You know that there are various other men. You never minded," she replied calmly.

"I don't care about _them_! I want to know if there is another man you love!" he hissed and Ellen really was a bit surprised at his vehemence. "I want you to be mine alone. I will not allow another man to take your interest! If anyone dares to compete with me then I will rip him to pieces!" Tyki threatened when Ellen did not reply.

"I am surprised," the female Noah merely said and Tyki grinned darkly.

"You have nothing to fear, you cannot be held responsible if anybody falls for you. But nobody will take my toy away from me!" His grip on Ellen's arm was almost painful and he jerked her towards his body, pressing a bruising kiss on her lips. "You'll remember that, won't you?"

"Of course I will…" Ellen said and let herself be embraced by Tyki.

"Good. Then I want you to make up for all the weeks I've missed you…" he whispered against Ellen's ear, "and I won't let you go until I am satisfied…". Ellen smiled.

_To be continued._

**Notes:**

Oh look, Tyki! X3

The ending seems a bit fast, but I thought it best to stop here instead of forcing the chapter to continue.

I hope that the thoughts I tried to convey in this chapter are more or less clear. I am glad that I will now get into the part of the story where finally answers will follow the many questions (at least I hope so and I also hope that there aren't things that I've forgotten! *lol*)

Reviews would be great! :3


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Notes:**

New lenghty chapter! :3 Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

* * *

Kanda paced the dark room of Rabi's study, making the Bookman sigh in slight irritation.

„Honestly, Yu. If you worry that much about her going off on her own, then tell her!" Rabi suggested and closed the old book, making dust swirl up into the dim yellow light the lamp emitted. Kanda stopped his pacing to look at Rabi, he screw up his face, snorted, and continued walking around.

"Don't be a fool! There is no way that this would stop her going back to her _family_!" he said grimly and stopped at a shelf, pulling out an old manuscript at random. Rabi almost shot up when he saw his friend handling the valuable document with so little care, but he contented himself with sighing and leaning back in his chair.

"Listen, Yu… You don't have to tell her right out that you want to keep her away from the other Noah… But you could hint at it…"

"Do you think me stupid? I already hinted at this as much as I could, but there is no way to keep her away from them without arousing suspicion," he said and put the manuscript (some very outdated theories about how Innocence could help win the war against Napoleon) back into the shelf, resting his elbow on the wood, while looking at the dust collecting writings.

"Suspicion? I thought the Noah were mostly free to do what they please, only fulfilling missions when the Earl gives them something to do…?" Rabi said, studying his morose friend attentively.

"Yes, but there seem to be a lot of gatherings. Dinner parties, tea time, or whatever silly things the beansprout attends… Anyhow, if her long absence does not raise suspicion in the other Noah, it is bound to unnerve her lover…"

"Her lover? You?" Rabi wondered and Kanda glared at him.

"I am talking about that idiotic curly haired Noah!" he spat and Rabi laughed uneasily.

"Ahaha. Ah yes I remember Ellen talking about a lover she had after her husband…!" he said, remembering their conversation some time ago, "so it was Tyki Mikk?!"

"It IS Tyki Mikk you dimwit. And he's the guy that troubles me most among their lot… I am almost certain that she is with him at the moment!" Rabi raised an eyebrow but then he laughed with a sly look.

"Aaaah… I see…!" Kanda stared at him with a flustered face.

"Idiot! Don't go making assumptions!" Rabi laughed and shook his head, putting down a note into one of his many notebooks.

"I don't think that this is only me making an assumption! You seem to worry more about Ellen going to Tyki than her going back to the Earl! Well… He would most likely be considered handsome judged by a woman's perspective… But, don't worry, when it gets to beauty he cannot rival you!" Kanda snorted when he heard Rabi say such stupidities, but didn't say anything for a moment. He turned back to the documents on the shelf and scanned the gilded tags that described their date, author and content. Rabi remained silent for a while as well, but then he spoke up with a sigh. "You _do_ worry more about him than the Earl, am I right?" Kanda nodded silently, "why?"

"Because of the prophecy…" he spoke up and tugged out a parchment that was marked with the initials C.M.

"The prophecy centring around you and Ellen? The one that said she could be used as a tool by either side?" Kanda nodded absent-mindedly, scanning the document. "So you think that Tyki is the other force that can keep Ellen at the Earl's side?"

"I don't only think that, I am certain that this is the case. And as long as she still harbours a love for him then I have reason enough to worry – not for my sake, but for humanity's sake."

"Hah, humanity survival depends on an epic love triangle between a Noah, an Exorcist and a woman torn between both sides… Almost too corny to be true…" Rabi said with a long extended sigh and stretched.

"It might sound corny but that doesn't mean that this isn't dead serious," Kanda said darkly, glaring at Rabi from over the top of the parchment.

"Then what do you intend to do about it? Can't you just tell Ellen that there's no sense in destroying humanity, make pledges of your undying and ardent love for her and be done with it?"

"Ha!" Kanda exclaimed with a hollow laugh, grinning grimly at the Bookman, who sighed yet again. "Tragedies don't work that way!"

"Yes, if that ever turned out to work it would be too good to be true…" Rabi said, linking his arms behind his head, and looked up at the flickering light-bulb. "But how can tragedies be resolved?"

"With death and murder, simple as that – there will be no happy ending in tragedies, only the redemption of sin through an untimely and violent death…" Kanda said flatly, sitting down on one of the dusty stools standing around. "But I want to solve this problem with reason and not with violence…!"

"How about asking Ellen for help?" Rabi suggested, "she might know what to do…"

"Yeah right, I ask Ellen how I can best manipulate her to do what I want her to do!" Kanda snorted, "stop dreaming, imbecile…"

"No, that's not how I meant it," Rabi continued, ignoring Kanda's insult, "Ask her as a man in love."

"In love?!" Kanda shouted in indignation, looking up from the parchment yet again. Rabi raised his hands in defence.

"Now don't get so angry about it before even listening to me to the end!" Kanda snorted, but remained silent, "good. What I meant to say is that you should just be honest. Tell her what you feel for her and that it disturbs you to know that she spends time with Tyki…"

"Why do you assume that I have feelings for her?" Kanda said in annoyance.

"Because I simply cannot believe that you do not…" Rabi told him calmly and Kanda looked at him, but then he lowered his head.

"It won't work." Kanda said after a while, clutching the parchment.

"Why not?" Rabi wanted to know, catching the tone Kanda spoke with. The General sighed and put his hand over the left side of his chest.

"Because he is the one she loves on her own free will. And I… am merely her tragedy…" Rabi looked at him in surprise, but then he lowered his head, balling his hand into fists.

"Yu…!" They remained in a tense silence, each indulging in their own troubled thoughts, until Kanda finally uttered a defeated sigh and got up from where he was standing. He walked over to Rabi and put the parchment over the notes Rabi was reading with an uncharacteristically bitter expression. He looked up in surprise and Kanda tapped his finger on the heading.

"This was written by General Marian Cross, I am sure of it."

"What? Well, yes, but it's merely an old report about a presumably haunted church… There was no Innocence involved…"

"No Innocence involved? Have you read the rumours why the people believed it was haunted?" Kanda asked and Rabi frowned, taking the paper up to scan it. "Year 1743, one of the first exorcists after the Order's establishment – name omitted in this parchment – was killed while taking down a woman believed to use magic of the same sort the Earl of Millennium was found to be employing. He is believed to have slammed his Innocence right into the back of the woman's left hand. The Innocence was gone when his body was found. Cross makes a very short note about how their deadly encounter was a tragedy, both for him and for her, but he does not state why. However, the church is still believed to be haunted by the woman's spirit…"

"And you think that this has something to do with Ellen?" Rabi asked, instantly knowing what his friend thought about the document.

"She told me that the Noah of Destiny is like an Akuma – she evolved through tragedies, receiving a new ability every time. This generation's Destiny has Innocence."

"Stuck in the back of her left hand…" Rabi breathed in surprise, then he pulled out one of his notebooks from underneath all the parchments, jumping up the next moment only to disappear behind some shelf. He returned with a big volume Kanda knew as an old edition of the Black Order's chronicles.

"The year 1743…" Rabi muttered and opened the book at the right page, scanning it shortly, "ah right! Here it is. Raphael Martineau, aged 27 at the point of his death in 1743. He carried an Innocence spear, unnamed. He died on a mission to a church in the South of France, in his hometown," Rabi read out aloud, "he investigated on his own wish, feeling that something was wrong with his wife, Aurélie." Rabi rubbed his chin and consulted his notes, "there is nothing written here about what actually came out of his investigations but we know the result. Both of them died and the Innocence was lost. They were both buried in their home-town's graveyard…"

"It just strikes me as odd that Cross would be interested in such a mission, dismissing it as _nothing out of the ordinary_, but also calling it a _tragedy_…" Kanda said, taking up the parchment again. "Destiny always chooses a partner that benefits him or her, but the relationship always ends in destruction…". The red-headed Bookman studied his friend for a while, then he looked back down on the chronicle's page.

"But what benefit does she see in you…?" Rabi asked, taking his eyes off for a short while after he heard Kanda's bitter voice.

"I don't know… I really don't know..." Kanda answered and put the parchment back to where it belonged.

"Hm…" Rabi mumbled, then he looked back down on his notes, "we can't be sure that his wife was a Noah just because she was believed to use the same dark magic as the Earl does. Noah had not yet appeared by the time this happened with the Martineau couple… However, it would match the chronology I have here…"

"Chronology?" Kanda wondered and sat back down on the stool.

"Yes, we Bookmen keep track of the generations of Noahs… It's not complete, but there's a year added to the last generation's Noah of Destiny. 1736 – 1743. She was not a Noah for a long time, compared to how long Ellen already lives with her Noah genes…"

"Aurelié Martineau…" Kanda muttered, then he suddenly got up and walked to the ladder leading upwards.

"Oh, hey, Yu! Where are you going?!"

"We have no idea where Cross is at the moment, we might as well investigate that church!" he said and Rabi blinked at him in surprise.

"Is that really a good idea? I had the feeling that Ellen doesn't like us poking our noses into her business!" Rabi argued.

"Tch. We already did, remember? There is no sense in lamenting this now. Rabi! Try to gather more information about the previous generations of Destiny, I want to know what kind of powers she acquired, and if any news of Cross come up, tell me!" Rabi sighed in defeat but nodded.

"Fine then, at least I am of some use to you, General Kanda," he joked and Kanda rolled his eyes, then he climbed up, leaving the Bookman's dusty study.

-

The General was surprised to find Ellen sitting on their bed when he entered the room.

"You are back already?" He asked, trying to conceal his surprise. Ellen still noticed it and smiled.

"I did not intend to make you wait for long as I left at such an inconvenient time," she told him and got up, "why? Did I arrive at a bad moment? You look slightly flustered." Kanda frowned in embarrassment and shook his head.

"No way. I was just surprised. I had assumed that your lover would keep you longer." Ellen laughed at that, but then she sighed and walked over to him.

"He did keep me long, to tell you the truth I am a bit exhausted…," she confessed, "and hungry as well…" Kanda rolled his eyes, but then he took her by the hand and walked out of the room with her.

"It's dinner time anyway, so let's get you something to eat before you pass out on me." Ellen chuckled but followed him without complaint.

"How considerate of you, Yu Kanda," she said. Kanda didn't say anything but just tightened the grip he had on her hand. They entered the dining hall and ordered their food at the counter.

"Ah! Brother! Ellen!" somebody called them and they found Hanako hurrying towards them with a smile on her face. "It's so rare to see you two nowadays!"

"Hanako," Kanda acknowledged her and studied her, "you look dishevelled. Do you have a lot of work?"

"Hm, yes, you can say that, I nearly can't get out of the infirmary anymore…!" She said and sighed, also ordering something to eat.

"Do you still like the work, even though it's hard?" Kanda asked when they were seated.

"Yes I do. Working in the infirmary gives me the feeling that I am of some use…," she said, "even though it might not be the work our parents have wanted me to do, it is still what I grew up doing anyway…". Kanda snorted at that, even though her words sounded bitter to him even though Hanako did not intend to sound unhappy.

"Once the war's over, things will change… There is still enough time for you to play princess," Kanda teased and his sister had to laugh at that.

"You're mean, Yu! But I don't need things to change. I am happy this way! I only wish I could see you some more or assist you in any way…"

"Don't worry too much about this, Hanako, as long as you're safe and happy I have no complaints…" he assured her and Hanako smiled happily.

"What about you, Ellen? You pull such a face, don't you like it here?" Hanako wondered and Kanda looked over at the Noah. If she had pulled a face then he had missed it.

"No, I think it is fine, but the fact that you have a lot to do means that there are a lot of injured people you have to treat…" Hanako sighed shortly, but then she smiled again.

"That's true, but I heard that there are still less causalities than some months before…"

"Still, you might consider transferring to another branch…" Ellen recommended with a smile, but Hanako shook her head.

"There is no need to, I am here to help and not to be lazy!" She said with a laugh, "and besides, I want to be where my brother is, right _Onii-chan_?"

"Tch! What the hell?! Why are you calling me that?!" Kanda roared in embarrassment but he was also taken aback to hear her call him that after so many years.

"I simply wanted to return the teasing!" Hanako said with a cheeky smile, "but don't worry, I am no longer a little girl that relies on her big brother to take care of her. I'll be fine! So don't you worry you two!" Ellen smiled at that and nodded, Kanda just snorted.

"Idiot…"

-

After their dinner – which was prolonged mostly due to Hanako's incessant chatter about everything she could think of – Kanda was quite relieved to be back in his room where he could have some silence. Ellen probably thought the same because the first thing she did was letting herself fall face first onto the bed.

"If you intend to fall asleep on my side of the bed then at least take your shoes off," Kanda told her, sitting into an armchair, relaxing instantly.

"Who said that I intended to fall asleep on your side of the bed, maybe I want to stay awake for a bit longer?" Ellen teased and Kanda glared at her. "On the other hand, I am quite tired, I think I have done enough today…" she said and sat up, taking off her shoes.

"Pity," Kanda mocked and Ellen laughed, looking up.

"Really? One day I will take you for your word," she told him and Kanda snorted, turning his head away to hide his slight blush.

"Why does she need to tease me all the time! That's annoying!" Kanda thought, frowning in irritation, "If she were a simple woman then there would be less problems! But all that talk about tragedies is really disheartening…!" After thinking that he was reminded of what he actually wanted to do before they went to dinner. "Oi, beansprout?"

"Hmm. Don't call me that…" Ellen complained, mumbling slightly. She turned on her back and looked at him.

"We will leave as soon as you're ready," he told her and she sat up once again, looking at him in slight wonder.

"Where to?"

"South of France, there is something I want to investigate," he replied and Ellen raised an eyebrow.

"The South of France? Well fine, if you know what you're doing then I will open a door…" Ellen said, smiling. Kanda looked at her, hesitating, but then he decided to elaborate a bit.

"Maybe you already have one ready…" he started and Ellen looked at him in surprise, "I want to visit the Martineau's graves." Ellen widened her eyes upon hearing that, she had her mouth slightly open, started to say something, but then held back.

"Are you joking?" she finally asked and Kanda was surprised to hear her say such a thing.

"I am not," he replied but Ellen seemed to ignore him, putting her feet on the ground but not standing up.

"Why would you want to go there? This has nothing to do with Marian Cross," she argued, her voice was calm but she herself did not seem to be.

"We have no clue yet where he is! We might as well investigate the church," he told her, uneasy to see her act so peculiar. She screwed up her face and turned it to the side. It seemed as if she really wanted to say something but urged herself to keep quiet.

"What do you hope to find out by visiting these people's graves?" she finally asked, composed again, but still with the face turned away from Kanda.

"I found a document by Cross. He seems to have taken a look at the church. There was nothing there however I found his report suspicious, that's why I concluded that I might find something there."

"And why would you want to see the graves of the Martineaus?" Ellen then asked, closing her eyes while waiting for Kanda's reply.

"Aurélie…" Kanda started and Ellen's eyes snapped open and she looked at him with a troubled and surprised expression. Kanda was a bit taken aback to see her look like this. "Ah…" he coughed to hide the awkward feeling he suddenly had, "This woman was said to have used magic similar to the Earl's. That's why… I just want to make sure that we are not missing anything…" he told her. He simply couldn't bring himself to ask her about this woman. Her unexpected reaction had already been unsettling enough. Was Aurélie Martineau really the pervious Noah of Destiny? And if yes, how much did the current Destiny know about her?

"I see… Then we should not delay our departure…" Ellen said calmly, getting up.

"We don't have to go now…" Kanda told her but Ellen simply turned to look at him. Her face was stern, but then she smiled politely.

"Did you not say you wanted to leave as soon as I am ready, Yu Kanda? Well, I am ready." Kanda hesitated, but then he made up his mind and got up.

"Good. Then let's go."

-

Ellen spoke nothing when they were in the piano room. She studied the keys of her piano for a while, but then she pushed one key down and a door appeared next to Kanda.

"Well. There is the door," she said silently, still looking at her fingers. Kanda observed her standing at the piano, again dressed in her exorcist uniform. She looked somehow misplaced or slightly unfocused, but then her eyes cleared and she turned to look at Kanda.

"Well? It might be night but let us not waste any time, Yu Kanda," she told him and walked past him to the door. She opened it before Kanda had made up his mind to reply. The white haired woman stepped into the light and Kanda followed wordlessly.

It was dark and chilly when he left the Ark. They were in the nearly empty main hall of a church. The moon threw patchy light through the partly destroyed windows. The benches that were left were dusty and rotting. All pictures had been removed from the walls and it looked pretty desolate and bare. He heard Ellen walk away and when he turned around he could not see her because she must have stepped into the shadows. He frowned, but then he continued looking around until he spotted the altar. A cloud must have passed before the moon because suddenly the light disappeared. Kanda took one step forward into the direction where the altar lay and once the light returned he saw Ellen sitting on it. He didn't recognize her at first and jumped back, Mugen drawn.

"Put down your blade," Ellen said quietly and Kanda calmed and snorted in slight annoyance, "and come here." The general complied and walked over to where Ellen was sitting. She lifted her hand and pointed at a crack in the altar. "The weight of more than hundred years has pushed the event into oblivion, the blood had been washed away, dust settled upon these stones that remain as the only testimony of the _tragedy_ that happened here," she solemnly said. Kanda took notice of the whispered but melodious way she spoke, similar as to when he had first met her.

"Was the stone pierced by the Innocence spear?" Kanda wondered and Ellen nodded silently. The fact that she new what he was talking about despite not having seen the document gave Kanda reasons enough to believe that he had drawn the right conclusions. She then got up, her heels making a loud, clear sound on the floor.

"You wanted to see the graves. Follow me." She said and walked ahead. Kanda watched her, then he followed. The way Ellen behaved in this place was strangely grave and Kanda could not blame anybody for mistaking her as Aurélie's ghost. If she had worn her flowing white dress… Kanda mentally chid himself for thinking useless things and followed her out through a hole in the wall. Once Ellen stepped out into the night, the sky suddenly cleared and they had enough light to see all the gravestones sticking out of the dry, cold earth. The cold wind blew a few dry leaves over the ground, but Kanda didn't mind the eerie atmosphere of the abandoned graveyard. He saw Ellen standing some meters ahead in front of a weather beaten gravestone. She looked at him, waiting for him to catch up with her. Once he stood next to her, she turned to look at the inscription but spoke no word. Kanda didn't find any words either when he looked at the letters etched into the stone.

"Ugh…" Kanda turned to the side when he heard Ellen gasp lightly. She held her breast and stumbled a step forward. Kanda reacted and put his hand on her arm, steadying her. Ellen had her eyes squeezed shut, but now she opened them and with a grim face she stared at the names.

"To stand on her cursed bones affects me more than I would have thought," Ellen said.

"Don't push yourself! You could have just told me that it would harm you!" Kanda told her with an angry but also concerned tone, then he pulled her away and made her sit down against the cold wall of the church. Ellen let out a shuddering breath, and placed her forehead against her drawn-up knees. Kanda looked down on her, but then he sat on the ground as well and waited.

"How you always find out things about me that I did not plan to tell you is beyond me," Ellen finally spoke up again after about ten minutes of silence. She lifted her head and seemed pretty disgruntled as she looked over the graveyard, "It surely starts to irritate me."

"It was a coincidence, I was not trying to pry into your business. And it seems that I just drew the right conclusions." Ellen frowned, even when she turned to look at Kanda.

"There are no coincidences if you are dealing with me, Yu Kanda. You should just-"

"Just what?" Kanda asked when Ellen stopped talking and put her forehead back on her knees. "Mind my own business?"

"Avoid getting deeper into the maelstrom of tragedies that spirals around me…" She corrected silently and Kanda looked at her in wonder.

"What good would it do to keep me in the dark? Do you think I would be able to fight better if I did not know what and why I was doing it? I do not want you to tell me things that do not concern me in the slightest bit, but I would prefer to know the things that I _should_ be told." Ellen remained silent. Kanda waited for her to say something, but nothing came. In the end he sighed and put his hand on her shoulder, which made her look up. "Tell me whatever you want. I will listen to everything." Ellen looked at him with wide eyes, but eventually she lowered her head. She looked uncertain, an emotion Kanda rarely witnessed on her beautiful face.

"There are… bits and pieces I know…" she finally started, again looking out over the graveyard, watching the last few dry leaves on a tree. "During my awakening as a Noah I saw the lives of my predecessors pass in front of me in my dreams… Aurélie Martineau's life was no different…"

"So she was the previous Noah of Destiny…" Kanda said, "and it was through her that you gained your Innocence…" Ellen nodded and lifted her left hand, looking at its back where the silver cross was shimmering in the moonlight.

"She was stabbed by her husbands Innocence. The tip of the spear broke off and was decomposed into particles by the Noah genes. The particles then entered into her blood leaving an imprint. The price she paid for this was her death, but this was a sacrifice she was willing to make… And why not? Destiny is no distinct person. She is an entity, ever changing from generation to generation, evolving and strengthening. For her the life of one of her incarnations means nothing as she will simply fall asleep when she dies, and awaken anew in a new form... If she were a normal human something simple as a brush with Innocence would not have led to me being born with it…" Ellen lowered her hand and looked into the sky. "I do not know everything about the pervious tragedies. I "remember" names, places and faces… Lives and dreams and tears. Happiness and sadness, but most of all death. Death over and over again. And she stands untouched, never moved by the tragedies around her as the world crumbles at her feet. Even to me _she_ is not a person I entirely understand. I do not know her ultimate goal, nor do I know what she was like in the very first generation. What am _I_ to do in this war now that the crossroads have finally been reached?" Kanda listened to her in silence, but now he looked at her in surprise, when he saw her lower her head yet again on her knees and heard her voice tremble. "Because, honestly, I am only a human girl, right…? I do not _want_ to know these things…!" Kanda, without thinking much, reached out and embraced her. He spoke no word to her – he couldn't- , but it was not needed. She talked, he listened. She grieved and he comforted. And Kanda knew, whatever Destiny was, he was certain that this woman in his arms was the one he wanted to protect and drag out of the flood of tragedies. No matter how, he was sure that he would help her evolve further, escaping the clutches of the suffocating determination of their common destiny.

-

They decided to stay at a local inn, so both of them could first digest the revelations and emotional ups and downs of the past hour. In the Ark Ellen would not be able to feel at ease because of reasons Kanda could not get out of her and they couldn't go back to Black Order because they were already supposed to be on their hunt for Cross.

Ellen, being herself, recovered from her emotional outburst just as fast as she always did and was now calmly sitting at the window, looking how the sun rose.

"Do you think that Cross went on this mission because he wanted to gather information on you?" Kanda asked. He was lying on the bed, arms crossed behind his head, looking up at the narrow ceiling.

"It might well be that he did. He wanted to get me on the exorcist's side after all, he might have looked for reasons that would convince me to come," she said and Kanda snorted.

"Do you have any idea why Cross disappeared even though he received the mission to find the Akuma Egg?"

"I can only speculate. But I think that he was aware that the time was not ripe for him to succeed. Some battles can only be fought if special requirements are met… This is especially true if you fight the Earl," Ellen replied, still looking out of the window.

"Tch. Like you not meeting me again before we were at the crossroads of time, even though I spent years searching for you?" he asked and Ellen smiled slightly.

"You could say that, it is a justified comparison," she told him and turned towards him. "And Cross Marian knows that we are at a crucial point. He _will_ show himself!" Ellen assured and Kanda frowned at her convinced face.

There was a knock on their door and Kanda sat up, opening the door to find a servant looking up at him uneasily.

"Sir. A call for you," he said and Kanda raised an eyebrow, but then he followed the man down to the reception where there was a telephone. He picked it up and shot everyone a dark glare, silently demanding them to scramble – which they did.

"What is it?"

"_Hey, Yu! It's me!"_ the cheerful voice of the Bookman appeared. Kanda half regretted having telegraphed the young man so that he could reach them if anything came up.

"Tch, Rabi. What do you want?" Kanda hissed in annoyance.  
_"Don't be so foul-tempered this early in the morning!"_ Rabi said, laughing easily, _"because I have news for you!"_

"What kind of news? Speak up!" the General demanded.

"_I received__ a call from some guy called Burnett,"_ Rabi replied but Kanda didn't remember anybody going by this name, _"he said you knew him. He left a message for "a fellow member of Science of God" or so he said…"_ Kanda widened his eyes as he finally recalled who this man was: the leader of that strange sect!

"And what has he got to say?"

"_They managed to trace General Cross." _This left the general speechless, then he recalled what Ellen had just said.

"Tch, no coincidences, huh?" he muttered to himself.

"_What?"_ Rabi asked, thinking he was addressing him.

"Nothing. Where is he?"

"_Burnett wouldn't give me any information, because I was no member and something stupid like that. Even though I told him that I was an exorcist! And your friend!"_ the Bookman complained and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Then what did Burnett tell you?" Kanda wanted to know to which Rabi had an immediate answer.

"_He wants to meet you, in London."_ Kanda groaned, but he had no other choice.

"Fine, thank you…" he said, then he wanted to terminate the connection but was prevented from doing so by Rabi's loud:

"_Wait a moment, Yu!"_ The general snorted in annoyance and held the receiver up to his ear, _"would you mind me attending as well?"_ Kanda raised an eyebrow_. "Please!"_

"Tch. Do what you want!" he gave in because he was not in the mood to argue with the red-head. Rabi said his thanks and terminated the connection. Kanda snorted, then he left the reception to report the news to Ellen.

-

As he expected, she was not particularly surprised by what he told her.

"Did you know that these idiots would be of use to us?" Kanda asked her and pulled on his uniform. Ellen smiled at him and Kanda snorted. "Why do I even ask!"

"You might be of a different opinion than I am, but I think it is important to make a lot of acquaintances. Every meeting with a person could prove useful in the future, no matter how unimportant it might seem to you." Kanda did not reply to that and watched Ellen putting her hair into order.

"Where do you think this Burnett guy will direct us to?" He asked after a while. Ellen turned towards him and smiled.

"Oh I don't know…" she said, but then she looked out of the window, a small smile on her face, "but I have a feeling that we will be going east."

_To be continued._

**Notes:**

And so the hunt for Cross begins *lol*

I don't like the last part of the chapter (the short stay in the inn) but I thought it would work better if it was included in this chapter than to post-pone it to the next.

The episode with Aurélie Martineau was written on a sudden burst of unexpected inspiration, but I think it was the right decision to give a short glimpse of what Ellen knew and felt about her foreign memories (which have been hinted at in the chapter with Ellen's awakening). However, it also gives off the feeling that Ellen and the Noah of Destiny are quite distinct people, which is not entirely true. Ellen just has not _been_ her for two decades and living as an exorcist estranges her from her Noah side. As a side-note; I for my part still not understand how Allen could have had Innocence from birth and this also remains an open question here. Of course Auérlie couldn't pass on the Innocence she "absorbed" to her next incarnation... But let us just pretend that the Noah of Destiny is perfectly able to work with the "imprint" the Innocence has left on her and incorporate it into her next form... X3

Next chapter Burnett makes a short reappearance and then it's Cross' turn :3 Time to start the - hopefully - more eventful part of the plot!


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Notes:**

After a very, very long time, I've finally managed to write a new chapter. It's my own fault for being so slow, apparently I'm still not that good yet with writing two long stories at once…

Anyway, here's the next chapter, again containing a load of information. Burnett (that was the leader of that sect interested in Innocence among other things) appears shortly to make himself useful. Apart from that Kanda and Ellen are finally on their way to find Cross! ;3

I hope that there won't be that many mistakes. I will be away the next few days and wanted to publish this before leaving. :D

**Disclaimer: D.**** Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

* * *

Ellen opened a door Kanda hadn't been through yet. Ellen still didn't want to do to the usual thing and pass through the Ark, so she directly opened the door to their next location without first going into the piano room. Kanda was quite suspicious, but he knew that there were people in the Ark and it would therefore be risky to venture into the white town. Kanda didn't complain though, he merely stepped through the door, leaving the south of France behind. What awaited him beyond was a dark and dusty entrance hall. Kanda looked around after the panel had closed after him. The floor was made of dark wooden tile, dulled with many years worth of dust. The double doors behind him were also made of dark wood, with delicate carvings in it and two small panels of milky white glass showing swirls and flower patterns. The only light came through these small windows. A chandelier was hanging from the high ceiling, but it also lacked the splendour it might have once possessed because it was covered in dust. Nothing, Kanda noted, was dirty or broken, but everything looked abandoned and desolate.

„What is this place?" Kanda asked and looked at the staircase, covered by a faded wine red carpet, leading upwards. Ellen was standing on the first step, looking up calmly.

„We are in London," she replied and Kanda studied her. „This is one of the houses I possess." Ellen, not saying more, walked up the steps and Kanda followed her into the corridor of the first floor. It was quite dark because there were no lights switched on and all windows had thick curtains in front of them. It was chilly and it smelled of dust and stale air. „You must excuse the poor state this house is in. I haven't been here for many years," Ellen finally said and opened a door towards the end of the corridor. Kanda couldn't see much, but Ellen walked away from him and drew a curtain and opened the window. Kanda found himself in a bright room. It seemed to be some sort of living room, with a low table and two couches opposite each other. There were many shelves with books, a table still with teacups and plates on it. Kanda saw many picture frames standing between the books and hanging on the wall, but all the pictures had been removed. Ellen opened the window to let some fresh air in.

„Why would you abandon a house in London? I'm sure there is a lot of meddling to be done in this city," Kanda said and Ellen smiled at him. She took a seat at the table, pushing away the plate and cup. „And it seems that it was abandoned in a hurry..."

„Not in a hurry... But unexpectedly...," Ellen confessed, „this house was given to me by the Earl when I joined them long ago. It was my starting point so to speak. From here on I could try to manipulate various people. It is, as you said, a very good place to do my meddling." Kanda didn't say anything, but walked over to the couch, taking a seat despite the dust. He noticed that this was the first place belonging to Ellen he visited that wasn't entirely crammed with furniture. It was actually quite nice, despite the state it was in.

„Why did you leave it then? Did you have to give up on the identity you have built up for this dwelling?" Kanda asked even though he found it difficult to imagine that Ellen would mess up.

„No... No, I did not... I abandoned it because this is the house where Mana and I used to live..." Ellen told him, „that's why I left after his death..." Kanda looked at her in wonder.

„Because you could not stand the memories connected to this place?" he asked and Ellen looked at the exorcist.

„I had a feeling that if I stayed here in this house, I would not be able to continue with the mission I had as a Noah... The life I lived as Mana's wife was over," Ellen answered, „there was no more need for this house..." Kanda frowned at her, but Ellen expected such a reaction.

„Then why didn't you sell the house? Like this it's still here, even though it's covered with dust now, it's not gone."

„Because it served as a reminder that I still had something to do..." Ellen said, then she smiled at Kanda.

„Revenge?" Kanda wondered and Ellen's smiled widened ever so silently. Kanda groaned, but didn't press the topic any further. „Why are we here? Is there anything you want to show me?"

„No," Ellen replied and Kanda looked at her with a suspicious frown. „We are waiting for Charles Burnett."

„Then why here?" Kanda asked, but received the same smile yet again. It was quite infuriating. As if there was something he didn't get, something that he could not read in that smile. „Tch. Do you have no other house in London? One with less dust and memories?"

„I do not," Ellen told him, which Kanda found surprising and odd.

„Then where do you usually stay? Inside the Ark?" He wanted to know, but Ellen shook her head.

„At a fellow Noah's house. He is the one to influence London's upper circles. In London I keep a low profile, gathering information, running errands, manipulate little things so that the other Noah can work better...," Ellen explained and Kanda didn't really know what to do with this piece of information.

„Why are you telling me?"

„Because I know," Ellen replied and Kanda groaned. He stood up from the dusty couch and walked over to the table in order to sit down opposite Ellen.

„There are a lot of things you do not tell me, even though you know." Ellen laughed and folded her hands on top of the table.

„That is true... But there are things that you do not need to know, Yu Kanda," Ellen insisted and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"But why do I need to know this? Is there any danger coming from him?" Ellen smiled, "any more danger than the normal one," he added in annoyance.

"It was meant as a warning, Yu Kanda. Here in London, my power is not limited, but it is easily observed by my family. But it is the same the other way around. He can't do much openly without making the exorcists notice, therefore the number of Akuma in London is really small, and there are rarely confrontations. However, as you are not concerned with politics of the city it is nothing that you are required to worry about…" Kanda was still frowning, but in the end he decided that it really was not his main concern. He would just have to make sure that he was not seen in Ellen's company more than necessary.

"You're able to sense Noah anyway, so there shouldn't be a problem for us to move around London," Kanda said and Ellen nodded. "We just need to be careful." Ellen closed her eyes, lowering her head silently, nodding yet again.

-

Ellen wouldn't allow Kanda to wander the house while they waited for Burnett.

"Don't bother. There is nothing to see," Ellen had said, stopping Kanda from leaving the living room. He had no other choice but to stay where she was. And Ellen didn't move an inch from her spot as if moving would stir the stale air in the room and she feared this might awaken some kind of creature that lay buried under all of the dust. Kanda was therefore confined to the living room. The only thing he could do while they waited for Rabi (who had already travelled to the spot where Burnett wanted to meet them) was look at the various objects in the room, even though it got boring soon. There were a lot of books that ranged from history books to novels to travel accounts and dictionaries. Kanda wondered what kind of life the couple had led when they were not busy doing whatever Noahs were supposed to do. But thinking about it felt rather uncomfortable for Kanda, it was not that he wanted to think about Ellen living as somebody else's wife or lover, but there was this incredibly heavy atmosphere in this house, as if the fact that something has lived and died in here, something that Ellen had forced to be forgotten, wanted Kanda to acknowledge it. Kanda didn't want to, but he couldn't help seeing the "nothing" that remained. It was there, right in front of his eyes; empty picture frames.

"Did you take away all the pictures?" Kanda wanted to know, looking towards Ellen. She lifted her head.

"Yes, with the help of Rhode Camelot I disposed of them…," she replied and Kanda frowned, looking at one frame once again.

"Why?" Ellen looked at him with a blank expression, but she nearly frowned before she smiled at him.

"Why you ask? Isn't it obvious? There was no need for them anymore. This house and all inside of it belonged to a life that didn't function without Mana. That's why they're gone. The house is still here, the picture frames as well… And that's all."

"And the memories. I bet that the girl Noah wanted to take these away as well, but you can't get away from them," Kanda added, which had the result that Ellen sighed in irritation.

"Yu Kanda, why do you have to insist on this? Please find something else to ponder," she replied and stood up, walking over the window to look outside.

"How can I? You're confining me here. I'm sitting in a room where you and Mana might have spent your evening, drinking tea, reading your books, talking, loving. And neither the dust, nor the lost pictures can keep me from making up my own memories about it." Ellen made some sort of disapproving noise, then she turned around and walked over to the couch where Kanda was sitting. She put her hand on the backrest, next to Kanda's shoulders and looked down on him.

"And now what?" She challenged him. Kanda snorted, but he liked to see her do something different than smile about things that didn't deserve a smile.

"And now you do what any reasonable adult should do; acknowledge that this hurt you instead of pushing it away. Abandoning it won't change the fact that it's still here, I told you before." Ellen still looked at him the same way, not showing whether she even considered this option or not. "You said that it reminds you that you still need to do something. Well? Are you still pursuing your goal?" Here Ellen finally smiled again.

"We'll see, Yu Kanda. But as long as you're still here I won't forget, even if this house burned down," she replied and Kanda snorted.

"Fine then, I'll remind you to keep going," he replied and was surprised to see Ellen widen her eyes. "What?" However, Ellen didn't reply. She just closed her eyes and smiled gently, shaking her head.

"It's alright…," she replied and reached down to put her hand on his. "Please do. Remind me to keep going." Kanda looked at her, but then he nodded. He didn't really understand why she smiled, but he had the feeling that he had done something right.

-

The sun was already setting when the two went out of the house to go to their meeting place. Burnett had chosen a coffeehouse near the harbour which was quite well frequented at this time of the day. Ellen, being known to Burnett only as the male heir of Rosebridge Manor, had needed to change into different clothes before leaving the house. She had surprised Kanda by producing a suit from somewhere within the house that wasn't completely covered in dust. He didn't really think it necessary to ask questions though and they quickly went to the harbour, Kanda very alert. Just in case. But they found the coffeehouse without any problems. Kanda made a grimace when he entered as the smell of coffee and sweet chocolate were almost overpowering. Ellen however merely smiled at him for his apparent disgust. They found Rabi waving at them from a table near the back of the hall.

"Hey you two!" Rabi greeted them, not commenting how Ellen was dressed. Kanda expected him, as a bookman, to know immediately why she was dressed like that. "Good that you're here. The guy wouldn't talk to me!"

"Excuse us," Ellen said apologetically, then she turned to Burnett, smiling. The young man got up, bowed, then he shook hands with Ellen and Kanda. "Good evening."

"Good evening to you too, gentlemen," Burnett said, and they all took a seat again, "I thank you for coming to meet me so fast, I am sure you must be busy."

"We can spare a few minutes for our friends," Ellen said charmingly and Burnett smiled as charismatic as she did. Rabi turned to Kanda with a frown.

"These two somehow match, they're both kind of flashy," he said and Kanda rolled his eyes, then he noticed that the French guy wasn't with Burnett. He had expected him to come as well, but didn't mind his absence. He would have only irritated him after all.

"Thank you for your kindness," Burnett replied, ignoring Rabi completely, "now, I planned to repay your healing with information." He reached into his jacket, producing a small notebook that he placed down on the table. "I have my own reasons to still be interested in Cross and the subject of his research, but I thought that you, as members of our society, might also be able to benefit from what I've found out," he said.

"Yes, of course, we would be truly obliged, as we are currently looking for Marian Cross," Ellen answered, then she turned to Rabi because Burnett merely smiled at the three, sipping his coffee. "Could you fetch me something to drink? I am quite fond of the hot chocolate they serve here," she said, then she looked at Kanda, "and you might fancy a tea?"

"Whatever," Kanda replied and Rabi left the table, even though he wore a quite sour expression to have to leave the table.

"Well. Then let us continue," Burnett said, opening his book, "it appears that Cross is researching something which stands in connection to Innocence. I am not entirely sure yet what it is, but he has already visited some sites and I was able to trace where he's going."

"He's researching something?" Kanda wondered and looked at Ellen, but she didn't say anything. "Where is he?" The dark haired general wanted to know and Burnett nodded at him.

"It appears that he is now travelling eastwards. I can give you the names of the places I know he recently stayed in." He ripped out a piece of paper with some names on it, handing it to Ellen. "Allow me to speak of a guess I have…" Ellen folded the paper, then she looked at Burnett to signal that he had her attention. "I think he's headed for Japan." Kanda widened his eyes when hearing that.

"Japan?"

"Indeed. It's still quite difficult to find ships going to the island, and I heard that he was last seen around the harbour where ships leave for Japan. But before he made any deals he seems to have disappeared. Which he appears to do quite a lot, I might at. He's a cunning man, that Cross. It's almost as if he doesn't want people to know where he is, almost as if he's afraid of being spotted. Maybe he found out something valuable?"

"I wonder. That man has a habit of not wanting to interact with people more than necessary. And he has his means of making himself scarce," Ellen said in amusement. Burnett smiled, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh? You sound as if you were already familiar with his ways to some extend," he remarked and Ellen replied his smile with one of hers.

"So to speak. I have met him before. However, you don't have more chances to get useful information out of him if you're an exorcist. He is a secretive person with his own agenda it seems," Ellen told him, laughing lightly, "oh, there is our friend with the refreshments," she continued when she saw Rabi coming with two mugs.

"I guess I just finish my coffee and then I'll be on my way," Burnett said, "I am sure that you will manage to find him." Ellen nodded, touching the paper with the directions with her fingers.

"You have been very helpful. I hope there will be an occasion to pay you back," Ellen said and Burnett laughed. He drank his coffee, then he got up.

"To just get a little insight into your work will be enough. I will continue to research," he extended his hand and Ellen shook it. Burnett also shook the hands of Kanda and Rabi, then he was on his way, closing the door of the coffeehouse behind him.

"Tch. He was useful after all," Kanda said in annoyance and Ellen had to laugh.

"What did he say? Where is Cross?" Rabi asked, eager to know the information they had just obtained.

"Apparently Marian Cross is on his way to Japan," Ellen said with a smile and Rabi widened his eyes.

"What would he want in Japan?" Rabi wondered, "I'm sure that it's not a good idea to go into enemy territory all alone."

"Well, he does have a mission, maybe he's still doing what he's supposed to do. And Marian Cross is not easy to spot when he doesn't want to be seen," Ellen explained.

"So we'll go to Japan?" Rabi wondered and Kanda glared at him.

"You won't!"

"Why not?!" Rabi wailed in disappointment, "I'm sure you can need me! I won't mess up this time!"

"No," Kanda insisted and Rabi frowned, "then how about I join you as a Bookman? I will not get in your way, I will merely record what's happening," he offered, then he showed Kanda a thick envelope, "I have documents for you, and I am sure that I can be of further help." Kanda wanted to argue, but Ellen stopped him:

"Why not let him? We don't necessarily need to take him to Japan with us, he could stay at the Asia Branch in China," she suggested. Kanda was still not willing to agree, but then he groaned and waved his hand in annoyance.

"Fine," he said and Rabi grinned brightly, "but you won't come to Japan. You'd only endanger yourself. If you agree to stay at the Asia Branch you can come. If you can't then you stay here." Rabi easily agreed to these conditions and it was decided that they would leave as soon as Rabi had prepared and arranged things with Komui.

-

Kanda was back in the uncomfortable silence in the Walker's living room. Rabi was down in the hall, communicating with headquarters and Ellen had withdrawn, probably to change into her uniform. Kanda studied the envelope that Rabi had given him. It was lying on the coffee table in front of him and most probably contained some information on Destiny's previous incarnations. At least that was what Kanda had assigned Rabi to research. His gaze, however, was directed to the shelves lining the walls once again. Who had purchased all these books? Did they reflect the tastes and interests of Mana or of Ellen? Maybe even of both? What kind of people had those two been to the outside? Kanda, annoyed at himself for even thinking about it that much, got up from the sofa, and walked to the shelves to his right. There was one book that caught Kanda's eyes because it stuck out a bit. Kanda reached out and pulled it out of the shelf. Apparently it was a children's book with nursery rhymes. Kanda frowned, but looking back to the shelves he found other fairy tale books carefully sorted. Kanda wanted to put the book back, but then he noticed a corner of something sticking out of the pages. He opened the book and found, to his great surprise, a picture. He took it and studied it. There was Ellen looking at him out of the photograph, a small smile on her lips. She looked different, but that probably was because her hair was not as pale and she lacked the scar. Next to her – she was sitting on an armchair – stood a man, resting his hand on the back of the chair. He was quite tall compared to the girl, with his hair combed back and a neatly trimmed moustache concealing part of his mouth.

"That must be Mana…," Kanda thought, studying the man. He looked quite a few years older than Ellen, he was not, Kanda observed with silly satisfaction, handsome, but he was at least decent looking. The general looked away from the man to find a third element on the picture; on Ellen's lap sat a smiling Rhode Camelot. "What is the girl doing on this picture…?" Kanda wondered, but then he heard the door opening and turned around, the photograph still in his hand. Ellen, again dressed in her uniform, looked at him in wonder.

"What have you found?" She wondered, walking over to him. Kanda had half expected her to be shocked or annoyed at the sight before her, but she didn't seem to be either.

"A picture apparently. Seems that not all are gone after all," he replied and Ellen took the picture out of his hands, studying it. "That's Mana and the girl Noah, right?"

"Yes," Ellen replied, turning the picture around to find a scribbled date on the back. 1865. "What an old picture you found…" Kanda half expected Ellen to get rid of it as well, but she took the nearest picture frame and put the photograph in.

"Why was the girl on the picture?" Kanda wondered, putting the book back.

"Rhode Camelot has a habit of sticking close to me when she can. She often stayed with us when Mana and I were here, I guess it was more fun for her. At the moment, she is also living with one of the other Noahs…," Ellen told him and Kanda nodded wordlessly. Both of them were looking at the picture, a semblance of a family. Lucky for Kanda, who started to become a bit irritated by the silence, it only took another minute for Rabi to come into the room.

"I've arranged everything. I officially am part of your team now, at least for the moment, General Kanda!" the red-head exclaimed with a grin. Kanda didn't comment this with anything other than an annoyed roll of the eyes.

"We'd better get going then, what do you say?" Ellen suggested and Kanda nodded.

"How do you plan on getting there?" he wondered.

"Well, let us just assume that we might be working under time pressure," Ellen said and Kanda looked at her in wonder, "we have to be in Japan soon after Marian Cross, because of the danger that land holds."

"So we should make use of your powers?" Rabi wondered and Ellen nodded.

"Partially, yes," she replied, "we will travel to where he was recently seen, tracing his last steps before he disappeared at the port. This seems to be the most beneficial way of action."

"Wouldn't it be best if we just go to Japan?" Kanda asked but Ellen shook her head.

"Cross might not be there yet, and maybe he's not even headed there," Rabi mused.  
"No. He is headed there, without a doubt," Ellen replied and Kanda looked at her with a frown.  
"And how can you be so sure?" he wanted to know. Ellen smiled and Kanda wondered why he even cared to ask. "Fine, let's just assume that he really is headed for Japan. Why not wait for him there and make sure that he doesn't do stupid things?"

"Because we shouldn't get there too early. Marian Cross is scheming something and he probably expects us to come to him," Ellen told him. Rabi seemed to ponder that for a bit.

"It does make sense… If he's so good at hiding himself, why did he travel so that even an outsider – albeit one knowing about Innocence – could spot him? That doesn't make sense. He managed to hide even from the order for many years!" He concluded and the white haired girl nodded.

"Exactly," Ellen replied.

"So we just have to play our part?" Kanda asked in irritation and Ellen nodded. "Tch! Even you are getting used by that guy!" At that Ellen had to laugh, but she didn't reply. Kanda had no way of guessing whether she didn't mind or whether she felt uneasy about it. "Let's just go, we've been sitting here for too long already." There was no opposition to that and Ellen opened a door to the Ark, allowing Rabi and Kanda back into the Piano Room.

-

The three of them were slowly making their way east. After they had exited the Ark, they travelled mostly with ships or they joined merchants on their way to the port. Ellen insisted on visiting the five last villages or towns where Cross had been seen, even though Kanda found that to be utterly pointless. It would have made much more sense to just go to the port and wait there, but there was no arguing with Ellen's smile. Of course, Cross was never there, but he left clear evidence of his visit – mostly by causing some sort or ruckus, so people would be able to tell that "a strange, red haired European with a black uniform" had been there.

"He really wants to be found," Rabi said when they were resting after reaching the second town. They had been too busy travelling to really get enough rest, so it was a relief to sit in the garden outside the inn they were staying at.

"I suppose so, but I don't really like it… And the beansprout seems to know just too well. It's as if she's buying him time. Maybe she knew a long time ago what his plans are," Kanda complained in irritation. Rabi sighed as well, sipping his tea.

"I wonder where she went…," Rabi said, looking at the arch in the wall surrounding the garden. "She left quite a while ago…"

"I don't know what she's doing. She probably has her own missions as a Noah as well. If she simply disappears without telling us, then she probably has things for the Earl to do."

"Here in China? Where Cross was?" Rabi asked with worry, but then he shook his head, "ah, there really is no sense in worrying about it. She's on our side after all!" Kanda thought about that for a while, then he lowered his head, frowning.

"As of now she is on both sides. She hasn't chosen anything yet. You must remember that...," Kanda reminded him and Rabi, after looking at him, sighed deeply.

"But we must trust her," he insisted, "the fact that she's even on our side for now is already quite an achievement."

"Rabi…," Kanda said with a small groan, "Destiny is never truly on anybody's side…" Rabi looked at Kanda, then his expression became serious.

"I wouldn't quite say that, Yu. Have you studied the documents I gave you?" he wondered and Kanda shook his head. "Well, fetch them," Rabi told him. Kanda looked at him with doubt, but then he rose and walked into the inn to get the documents. He went back outside and joined Rabi on the porch of the door.

"There hasn't been an opportunity yet to look at them without the beansprout present," Kanda said and Rabi laughed lightly.

"Are you too embarrassed to let her find out that you want to know more about her?" he wondered and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"We're prying. Would you really trust anybody who tried to gain private information on you behind your back?" Kanda asked, "because you've been talking about trust, idiot." Rabi smiled, not feeling bad about what Kanda just said.

"The one we have to trust and believe in is Ellen. The human. Don't you agree?" Kanda was a bit taken aback by that, but after a while he nodded. But he was not sure. Could they – he! – have Ellen only the way he liked her? Wasn't her Noah side a part of her as well? Didn't he have to accept that as well?

"Hrn. Just get on with what you want to tell me then," Kanda urged and Rabi laughed, but he did what he was told. Kanda opened the envelope and pulled some papers out of it. They were covered by Rabi's neat handwriting, years and names.

"I tried to find out as much about Destiny as I could. But it was quite difficult to get reliable sources. Apart from our Bookman chronicles it's hard to really find literary traces of Destiny. And the library of the Black Order hadn't much to offer. There are of course other accounts outside of headquarters. I am sure that the Vatican would have very interesting material. Well, I tried." While Rabi talked, Kanda scanned the papers. "7000 years is of course a long time. We can't clearly trace her that far back. We can only speculate and go by the limited source material that we have. I can't guarantee that I have every reincarnation available, so you must remember that the list isn't complete…"

"Hn. I will. Good work, Rabi," Kanda praised and Rabi grinned cheerfully. "Ignoring some of the gaps from long ago, it seems as if the Noah of Destiny was reincarnated about every 100 to 200 years..." The red haired exorcist nodded, the grin had left his face to make way for a more serious expression.

"Yes. This is, however, exceptional for the Noah clan in general. Usually the Earl takes care to have his followers replaced as soon as possible once a human host dies. It might take him very shortly to find someone new and sometimes it might take longer. However, the ranks of the Noah frequently get completed in less than five years…"

"So you say that it's very likely that the Noah we've already killed might return in a new form for the end battle?" Kanda wondered and Rabi nodded solemnly.

"We have to be prepared for that, yes. The Earl probably won't start the full-out war without all of the Noah," Rabi replied, "but if we were to make the first move… If we were to start the war before he is prepared…" He trailed off, but Kanda shook his head.

"I don't think we can. We're already running out of time, the new exorcists aren't ready yet. And the beansprout… I have a feeling that Ellen won't make a move until the very last moment," he said and Rabi sighed dejectedly. Kanda stayed silent for a while, but then he looked back down on the papers. "Let's continue." Rabi nodded, glad for the distraction.

"Yes, apparently Destiny is different. She doesn't appear that much and I doubt the Earl forces her awakening. It's as if she's… how to put it… _evolving_. She dies, then she falls into a slumber for some decades and when she reawakens it's always for a purpose. She's constantly gaining more power, while the other Noahs just recycle what they already had. They don't gain anything from their lives, while Destiny seems to incorporate anything she can. Maybe that's why she's taking longer to be reborn," Rabi tried to explain. Kanda frowned, thinking.

"Yes… She said that she evolves out of tragedies…"

"And it is always tragedies," Rabi said and made Kanda look at him. The exorcist wore a pained expression, "well… She's been born many, many times. She lived as little girls or boys, as adults, as old people. And she died many deaths; she's been assassinated, burnt at the stake, starved. She also committed suicide or died of illness or old age. Everything humanity had to offer, she experienced it, absorbed it and grew stronger because of it." Kanda was more than mildly disturbed by this, even though he had already guessed something like this.

"But why… What's the point of all of this?" Kanda wondered, frowning darkly, looking at the paper as if it concealed the answer, "why only her?"

"She is Destiny after all… She's more than a human. The Noah are essentially humans like we are… But I understand why you ask… This must lead somewhere. Why does she need all the abilities she gained…?" Rabi asked, more himself than the man opposite him.

"7000 years of living and dying and growing. Imagine she built up all this power for now, for these crossroads we are at now… Why doesn't she do more? If it's so important now then why doesn't she make a final decision?" Kanda groaned and put his fingers to his forehead. "You disagreed with me when I said that she never really is on anybody's side. Why?"

"Because of all the accounts I have about her, she always appeared at the Earl's side. Innocence hasn't been found until about 100 years ago and even then she opposed it," Rabi explained and Kanda didn't have a hard time recalling. "But this time, when it might be really crucial, she suddenly considers helping us exorcists and humanity on top of that. This IS significant!" Rabi insisted and Kanda couldn't help but nodding. The young man grinned when he saw Kanda agree. Maybe they really had a chance, but the question why Destiny would now side with them, after 7000 years, still filled Kanda with doubt.

"Ellen, you're back!" He heard Rabi call, looked up and saw Ellen just entering the garden. She smiled at them and nodded. Kanda folded the papers and put them back into the envelope.

"There is a group of merchants just leaving, if you hurry up we can join them," she said and Rabi nodded eagerly. Kanda was still a bit lost in thoughts, which Ellen apparently saw.

"What's the matter?" she asked with a smile, but Kanda merely snorted and turned around.

"We're still wasting time!" He said, guessing it was enough of a reason to make him irritable. Ellen seemed to accept that as an answer and reminded them to hurry up.

-

_To be continued_

-

**Notes:**

Of course, making Kanda find a picture is not original at all *lol* But it's a nice plot device to make him somewhat irritated and confused. Rabi of course joins because of the information he can provide.

I don't know how much I can pack into the next chapter, but I hope I'll get to the meeting with Cross. There's still a long story to tell, and if I continue as slowly as I do now, I'll never finish! ;3

And on a side note: I was a bit surprised and am still confused by the newest chapter of DGM, but I'll just go on as I planned, ignoring most of it. This fanfiction isn't really canon-compliant after all X3


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Notes:

After another long wait, here's chapter 26! It took me long to write, because I was constantly unhappy with the scenes. I guess I'm satisfied now!

As a reminder; Rabi, Kanda and Ellen are still in China and on the way to the harbour where they plan to sail over to Japan!

Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino

Chapter 26

The days of their journey East continued to pass slowly. They travelled many miles trailing the obvious steps of General Marian Cross. For Kanda it felt as if they were just dragging things out; despite clearly following his track, Kanda didn't think that they got any closer to him. They just did exactly what Cross wanted them to do and that irritated Kanda.

„You should relax a bit. We don't even encounter that many Akuma, the travelling style isn't hectic either. You shouldn't be that tense," Rabi told him as they were preparing to spend the night out in the open. After three weeks in China, they were now at the point when they would soon part ways with the young Bookman. They had left the merchants they had travelled with two days earlier and were now making their way to the Asia Branch's location.

„I'm just irritated," Kanda said, sitting on the floor with Rabi. The red-head made an unimpressed sound; as if Kanda's irritation wasn't obvious enough. He looked around, but the two men were alone, Ellen had slipped away some hours ago.

„Is it because of Ellen? She's still not back yet," Rabi observed. Kanda didn't give him a response and the young man sighed.

„I'm sure she's plotting something. She probably knows what Cross is up to...," Kanda said after a while. Rabi looked up, a bit of surprise visible on his face. „And I don't really like not knowing what's going on. Did Cross make his stay here this obvious so we were bound to follow his track? Is he just luring us somewhere? Is it some kind of secret sign that only she understands?" Rabi scratched his head.

„It is a bit suspicious that we finally were able to track him to some extend now that you were given the mission to find and assist him. Is it just coincidence or did he have some way of finding out?" Rabi wondered and Kanda snorted. "Maybe via the golem?"

"That beast is wrapped up in one of my shirts and shut into my suitcase," Kanda commented and Rabi frowned, but then he laughed.

"Why's that?"

"That thing's just irritating!" Kanda replied angrily and Rabi shook his head.

"But isn't it a tool to find Cross?" The dark haired General narrowed his eyes, looking at his suitcase.

"She told me that, yes. I can also communicate with her through it. But who knows what else it does. I'd rather have no unexpected surprises," he said after a while. "And anyway, with her I don't really believe in coincidence..." Rabi looked at him. "It all seems planned out and the fact that we just didn't go straight to Japan seems strange to me..."Rabi remained silent for a while, then he sighed and let himself fall down on the floor, putting his head on his arms.

„I guess that we don't have any other choice than to wait and see. If this is the General's plotting we are safe to follow him. That's what I think." Kanda didn't reply to this and Rabi declared that he would go to sleep now. After a while of listening to the calming sounds of the wind rustling though bamboo leaves, Kanda decided to get up. Their resting place was on the foot of a little hill covered by a bamboo thicket. He climbed the hill and looked out into the star covered sky that expanded over his head and into the distance. When he lowered his head he saw something silver sparkle through the bamboo at the foot of the hill. With a frown he started walking down the hill, away from their camp. With the bamboo blocking out the moonlight it suddenly seemed very dark, but Kanda still saw well enough to not trip. He came to a halt and looked around, but there was no one to be seen. But he knew, he felt… Someone was here with him. For a split second he saw the sparkling again, followed by the sounds of light feet stepping on the leaf covered ground. He turned around but there was nothing there. An irritated growl escaped Kanda but then he felt a finger sliding over the skin of his throat.

"You are careless," he heard a voice whisper behind him and five cold fingers closed over his throat, gently, but there was something menacing in the touch as well. "We may still be in China, but soon that will change." The hands left his skin and Kanda turned around to find Ellen standing behind him, holding her fingers to her cheek, thinking.

"I knew it was you," Kanda replied coolly and Ellen looked up at him. He was surprised to see her frown, her face cast into shadows thanks to the little light that reached them.

"And just because it is me you can allow yourself to be careless? Do not forget who I am Yu Kanda," she chid him. Kanda mimicked her frown, visibly displeased by what she was saying. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared down at her.

"I know who you are. Ellen Walker. My disciple," he told her and Ellen sighed, but then the tension was gone and she smiled up at him. "Where were you?"

"I was working for the Earl, securing him more strength here in China. It is a vast land, there still remains a lot to be done," she informed him and Kanda rolled his eyes, "do not worry. Nothing I did was of great importance."

"I do not believe that anything you do will remain without consequences," he told her and she laughed gently.

"That may well be. But there are things we do, things I do, that really do not have great importance. I convinced one inn to purchase a stock of a particular tea brand that the Earl of Millennium is very fond of. I bought a dress for Rhode Camelot. And when I was bored while waiting for someone I picked some flowers. All these actions seem rather unimportant to me." Ellen sat down on the floor, looking up at Kanda, who was still looking displeased, probably thinking what effect picking flowers could have on the future. "Maybe one thing I did will have a great effect one day, but I do not plan everything on ahead. I still possess the brain of a human, remember that Yu Kanda. There are things I do not consider and things that I cannot know." Kanda looked at her, then he sat down as well.

"Fine. You might have a human body and a human brain, but you have capacities transgressing what normal humans should be able to do," he told her. She looked at him with an inquiring gaze, bending forward a bit to study him.

"And you don't?" Kanda wrinkled his nose, then he looked at the girl sitting beside him. Ellen chuckled gently, lifting some fallen leaves from the ground.

"I don't think that it's the same…," Kanda replied after a while and Ellen lifted a leaf to her mouth, the tip of it touching her nose.

"Hm…," she hummed, thinking. "It's not the same, no." She raised her hand and touched Kanda's chin with the leaf. He looked at her in confusion and she smiled. "We've been both given power that is beyond human comprehension. To awaken as a Noah or to awaken as an exorcist, that is one thing. But magic is something different. It is ancient as well, but it is not the same." Ellen let the leaf drop and it fell into Kanda's palm. Strangely enough it felt warm and suddenly it started to tremble in Kanda's hand. It fluttered away from Kanda's palm and into the air as if it had been caught by the wind. Kanda looked at it in wonder, but his gaze left the leaf when he felt Ellen slipping her fingers into his palm. "All people are born with certain traits. Some might be good at drawing or writing, others at growing flowers and again others at building things. Many talents remain undiscovered because there is nothing, no decisive moment, to awaken these abilities. You've been born to be able to carry Innocence, but what if you would have never found that one cube belonging to you? The abilities that you have today have all been awakened over time, others still lay dormant. But most of them transcend what humans are usually able to do." She drew back her hand and smiled up at him. "And tell me. Aren't you human as well?" Kanda frowned, then he closed his hand.

"You've been talking so much that I forgot what the point of the conversation was," he complained and Ellen laughed. "But I get it. We're humans, no matter what things we can do. And because we are humans we can make decisions that are not world altering. Because we are humans there are things that we cannot take into consideration… Even you." Ellen nodded, then she leant to the side, resting her head on Kanda's shoulder. "Are you tired?"

"A bit. But I feel that I will sleep well today," she told him and Kanda looked down at her peaceful face.

"Hm. Then let's get back to the camp."

-

Rabi was reluctant to part with the other two.

"Are you sure that you won't need my help? You're going to Japan! I bet you need every helping hand you can get!" Rabi argued, standing at the entrance, where the guards were already getting impatient with the exorcist.

"We had a deal. I told you that you would only accompany us to this point," Kanda argued calmly, somewhat irritated. Rabi sighed deeply, looking at Ellen for help.

"What do you say?" Ellen smiled politely and Rabi already felt defeat.

"Japan is very dangerous. I am sure that it is best for you to stay here. We do not have the mission to go causing an uproar in Japan. We will slip in, do what we must, and try to get out again as unscathed as possible. Other than us two you are vulnerable. I do not want you to come to more harm," she explained gently, "listen to Yu Kanda."

"If you say so, Ellen," Rabi said with a defeated smile and Kanda rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"So if she says no then it's no? I am supposed to be your general, so listen to me when I'm telling you to stay here!" Rabi laughed, shrugging. Kanda was tempted to hit him, but restrained himself. "Until you hear more from us, stay put. If anything comes up we will contact you. Try to gather information. The Asia branch has different archives than we at headquarters do… Maybe you can find out some things." Rabi nodded, then he bid the other two farewell and finally went into the Asia Branch. The guardians bowed to Ellen and Kanda, then they closed the gates.

"Now what?" Kanda wanted to know and Ellen smiled, pointing into the distance.

"Now we will go to the harbour and get on the first ship leading us to Japan," she replied and started walking down the path. Kanda hesitated a bit, but then he followed her.

"Why don't we use the Ark now?"

"There is no need to," Ellen told him, "we have other means to reach the island. We do not need to hurry."

"We _do_ need to hurry! You yourself said we were acting under time pressure!" Kanda argued, but Ellen didn't answer him, "while we're wasting time running after Cross even though we know that he's already in Japan, the Earl is probably working towards crushing us!"

"Do not worry that much, Yu Kanda," Ellen told him, but Kanda just reached out and grabbed her arm, making her stop.

"What are you planning?" he wondered, not being able to hide his suspicion. Ellen looked up at him, smiling a bit and shook her head.

"I plan on completing this mission," she told him and pulled her hand out of Kanda's grasp. "Let us go now, the harbour is a day's march away." Kanda clenched his fists, but he followed her.

"Fine. Fine, we'll do it your way if you insist…," he said and Ellen laughed gently.

"I have a feeling that there will be a condition?" she asked and turned her head to look over her shoulder. Kanda caught up with her and walked beside her.

"You'll tell me the truth. Why are you delaying our journey to Japan?" Ellen smiled at him, "I don't get suspicious for no reason. You told us we'd follow Cross path. We give him more time to do whatever he plans on doing in Japan. I'm sure more than three weeks gave him plenty of time to finish preparations for whatever he's trying to do. Is there anything you're afraid of in Japan?"

"Oh, do not be silly," Ellen told him, "there is nothing to be afraid of."

"Right," Kanda snorted sarcastically, "_I_ think that everything about Japan is terrifying, but what would _you_ have to fear there?" Ellen came to a stop and looked at Kanda with a strained smile – she seemed annoyed with him. Kanda was not impressed by her rather unfriendly, but polite smile.

"Fine. Keep on insisting on that. I am a coward, yes. But I do not owe you an explanation," she replied and Kanda actually had to laugh at that. Ellen groaned. "Excuse me for being rude," she started again and frowned at him, "but you are being an idiot, Yu Kanda. What reason is there to laugh?"

"I did not imply that you were a coward and there you go, claiming that," he replied and she still didn't change her frowning face. "But I think that you do owe me an explanation." Ellen snorted, but then she smiled again.

"Don't overestimate your influence on me. I quite like you, Yu Kanda, but I won't spoil you forever," she answered and Kanda smirked.

"Well. I can keep on trying," he said.

-

Finding a ship that would take them on board was not as difficult as Kanda had expected. He remembered that he had had to wait for quite a long time for a ship to come that would take Hanako to Europe.

"There remains a lot to be done in Japan. The conditions in this shut off island are terrible…," the young man that guided them to their room explained. "Our order has tried for centuries to change the situation, but we were powerless. Truth to be told, I don't even know what exactly is going on there…" He sighed and looked from Kanda to Ellen. "Actually I am glad that the Vatican finally sends his special army to Japan. I am sure you can do more than us Jesuits. We are only missionaries after all… Not apostles," he said with a smile and handed them the key. "I wish you good luck." With this he bowed, then he left, going back on deck.

"Tch. It's best if humans withdrew completely from Japan…," Kanda commented, "they cannot win!"

"Do not underestimate humans with devotion, Yu Kanda," Ellen reminded him, "they are able to do a lot, even if only small things." She sat down on the bed, combing her hair with her fingers. "And the Earl of Millennium would not allow the complete desertion of Japan. For him too, humans serve a purpose." Kanda snorted, then he walked to the small window, looking outside.

"Not even we will be able to do much. We'll just go in, get Cross and go out again. We'll be abandoning the country and its people. It's a lost cause," he said with a hint of bitterness in his voice. Ellen didn't even protest and it only made Kanda's mood worse.

"Maybe you should stay here," Ellen said quietly after a while and Kanda turned his head to look at her.

"What?" Ellen sighed and looked up at him.

"Are you even ready to go to Japan?" she wondered and Kanda frowned, "nothing is going to be easy once we set our feet into these lands."

"Tell me something new," Kanda snorted in annoyance. "It is my mission to go there if Cross is there. You delayed it long enough during these past weeks." Ellen studied him and Kanda set his mouth into a thin line. "_What?_"

"Japan used to be your home. There are memories connected to it – your memories, my memories. We also share a common past there. I do not know if you want to recall all these things…" Kanda smiled darkly.

"I do not deal with the past the same way you do. Anger and pain, maybe even hate, might resurface when I have to travel to certain places – but what good will it do me if I try to run away from that? I won't start despising you again just because we're going there. I am not afraid of memories." He walked away from the window and sat down next to Ellen. "Well? I am ready to go to Japan. Now you tell me. Are you done with delaying our going there?" The white haired girl sighed, folding her hands in her lap.

"It is not the ghosts of memories that I fear in Japan because as long as you are by my side I will not ever forget… But Japan is our battleground…" Kanda looked at her in wonder, not sure what she meant by that. "It's too late to turn around now…," Ellen whispered and Kanda felt the gentle rocking of the ship in the waves.

"Yes. There is no time for doubts…," he commented, then he crossed his arms in front of his chest, leaning against the wall, while Ellen was keeping her silence next to him. "But you seem to have your doubts…" The girl shrugged, looking at the floor in thoughtful silence. "Why?"

"I thought we came to the understanding that I do not always owe you an explanation?"

"Oh? We did? I do not recall that," Kanda replied and Ellen looked at him with a disapproving expression. "Well… Then tell me if you think we will succeed with our mission." The girl sighed, shifting her position so she could lean against the wall as well.

"We will certainly find Cross… But I do not know if we will manage to get the Ark and with it the Egg…," she said and Kanda looked at her. "It depends…"

"On what?" Kanda wanted to know, but the look in her pale grey eyes made him feel uncomfortable.

"On decisions…," she replied. He studied her for a while, then he pulled his lips into a weak grin.

"Is that why you seem to be reluctant to go to Japan? Because you fear having to make decisions?" Ellen didn't reply, she just sighed. "What kind of decisions are they? What do you have to decide about?"

"Japan is not far away. You should get some rest," was the only reply he could get out of Ellen.

-

The waves gently rocked the ship and the splashing of the water, the wind, and the noises of the ship were the only sounds that faintly reached Kanda's ears. With his knuckles pressed against his forehead he sat on the floor of their cabin, looking up on the shifting spots of light that were cast at the wall through the round window. Ellen was lying on the bed, completely still, facing the narrow ceiling. She was awake, but she seemed like a corpse lying under the thin blanket. There was something. Some kind of mental barrier that stood erect between them, that immobilized him and forced her into stubborn silence. Kanda continued glaring at the lights. He could see a pattern in all of this. Here was the prophecy once again and the danger connected to failing to do his part. Ellen had to make a decision eventually and what if this was now the time where it would become apparent if he had managed to gain her help for his side? What exactly had he achieved up until now? He managed to turn her into an exorcist, something Cross could not achieve. And he had reawakened the human girl inside of her – maybe not fully, but she was there. But if it were only this to worry about… Even if she became the power to end the war, there was still that other person on the Earl's side that could snatch her right away from him. The factor that had kept her at the Earl's side, her love for one of the Noahs, probably was not gone. Kanda had no way of knowing how strong her feelings for Tyki still were or if they had changed at all. Could she fall out of love all of a sudden? Could she jump from one source of happy emotions to the other without once looking back? No, Kanda was sure that Ellen could not. She was still attached to Mana, probably still attached to Tyki Mikk, probably still too far away from him. Kanda sighed inaudibly and let his hands drop, looking out of the window.

"I wonder what she really feels… Does that irrational love for Tyki Mikk still exist inside of her?" Kanda asked himself, turning his gaze towards Ellen. "Really…" Kanda snorted and Ellen's eyes focused on him. "What have I actually achieved…?" Ellen shifted in bed and sat up, looking down at Kanda.

"What?" he asked, when he saw how she studied him. Ellen didn't say anything and looked to the window.

"We will soon arrive in Japan," she informed him, "it is a matter of moments." Kanda looked at her, then he nodded.

"My mind is set on completing my mission," he told her, "you still have time to make up yours. Our priority as exorcists is to find Cross and secure the Ark and the Egg."

"I know your priorities," she said and Kanda looked at her sharply.

"And it's time to know what yours are," he told her, then he got up from the floor to walk over to their small bed. "If you won't make your decisions on your own, then others will do them for you. If that thought bothers you, then snap out of it and think about what you want to do," he said and Ellen smiled at him. Not the reaction he would have wanted.

"I am thinking. And we will see what all my soul-searching will have led me to once it's time to act," she told him and Kanda sighed. The best he could do right now was to ameliorate their relationship further. This was not the time to have qualms about appearing too pushy; if he didn't manage to make her see the good in actively fighting against the Earl, then humanity could be lost in the struggles. This battle against this other forces on the Earl's side and the Noah within Ellen, was the one that Kanda needed to fight the most. And if Japan had to be his battlefield, then so be it.

-

It hadn't been that long since Kanda last was in Japan, but now it was different. Ellen guided him to a village not far from the harbour. Kanda felt uneasy since he had set foot on his homeland, but he didn't know what exactly was wrong.

"Where are we going?" he asked, as he followed Ellen. They had taken a short-cut through the Ark, but Kanda could tell that they weren't that far away from the harbour yet.

"To the outskirts of the human colony," Ellen explained and Kanda raised an eyebrow at her.

"Human colony? What are you talking about?" They arrived at the outskirts of a village and Ellen stopped there. "Why are we stopping?"

"Listen well, Yu Kanda," Ellen started and he nodded, "the human colony is the term the Earl has given to a particular patch of land inside of Japan where the humans still live freely. That means that they are safe from Akuma raids. This is to avoid seeming all too suspicious to the outsides. However, this patch of land got smaller and smaller, mainly keeping to this narrow line of land close to the coasts." Kanda frowned, looking at the village.

"So… my village lay outside of the human colony…," he said and Ellen nodded. "And you know that because you're in charge of it?"

"To some extend, yes. I am in charge of expanding the Earl's territories, that's why I was also in charge of the raid on your village…," she explained calmly. This of course still made various emotions well up inside of Kanda, but he sighed deeply and nodded his head into the direction of the village.

"So why are we stopping here?"

"We are not stopping, we will pass through the colony. But I am sure you have not forgotten what I said. We must pay utmost attention. The villages at the edge of the human colony have Akuma stationed in them to keep watch." Kanda nodded.

"Fine. What will we do?" Ellen looked at him, first studying his face and then his clothes.

"You are Japanese, you do not stand out much. Wait here. I will get you a change of clothes," she told him silently and in the blink of an eye she was gone. Kanda snorted in annoyance and sat down on the ground, looking over the landscape. It was near dusk and it was getting cold. Kanda usually wasn't nervous or even scared when he was alone, but now he couldn't help looking around and waiting for Ellen to get back. The whole atmosphere and his strange feeling made him uneasy. Ellen reappeared out of the blue and he jumped up, pointing the blade at her. She just smiled at him and held out something wrapped up. Kanda groaned slightly and put Mugen back, taking the package.

"You are on edge. But that is good, I cannot allow you to be careless," Ellen told him and Kanda rolled his eyes. He unpacked the thing she had handed him to find Japanese clothes and inspected them. "Change." Kanda did so and folded up his coat, putting it inside his suitcase. "I will take that until we are at a close distance to the capital," Ellen said and the suitcase slipped into a gate to the Ark. Kanda frowned, then he looked at her. He widened his eyes when he saw what she was wearing. She was the sorceress of many years ago again; a white Kimono, white hair and that mask. Kanda hated to see her like that and averted his eyes.

"This is how I usually appear in Japan," Ellen said in a melodious voice, her fingertips gently brushing over Kanda's shoulder.

"Take off the mask. I hate it," Kanda said and strapped Mugen to his hip. Ellen took down the mask, but her face behind it didn't look more inviting; it was ivory white and her lips were a vivid red colour. She looked like doll, or a ghost, not like the human girl he wanted her to be. "Tch."

"If things go according to plan we will be at the capital within two days," Ellen said, "let us go. It's a long way." Kanda nodded and followed her into the village. A handful of people were still out on the street and looked at the two strangers, but nobody came to talk to them or seemed to be bothered by them. "By the way," Ellen started and Kanda looked at her, "I have used some of your money to buy your attire." Kanda first looked down at the clothes he wore, then at Ellen.

"What?" She looked at him from the corners of her eyes.

"Maybe you do not remember, but I put your family fortune in a safe place. It is still there for your perusal," she informed him and Kanda snorted.

"I don't need any money," he said and Ellen laughed.

"Don't say that. Without money we cannot buy things. And maybe one day the money will come in handy," she told him and he frowned.

"Where is it?"

"In a safe place. You will know where should you ever need it," Ellen replied and Kanda rolled his eyes. "There, we are at the end of the village. Do not speak now." Kanda was surprised when he heard that but he did what he was told. Ellen calmly walked on, even as they passed the last of the houses and nothing happened. Until a young boy came towards them.

"We will pass," Ellen spoke firmly without stopping and Kanda did the same. The boy cast a quick glance at Kanda, but he nodded at Ellen and skipped away again to play with a few other children. They walked on in silence until Ellen raised her hand. "This is the end of the human colony." She grabbed Kanda's hand and he looked at her in surprise but as soon as he took another step he felt it; it was as if a veil has been lifted and all kind of strange sensations came rushing at Kanda; he gasped for breath and touched his head. "The human colony is guarded by a strong protective barrier of my making, only Akuma with special authorization can enter it. It also blocks out the Akuma noise… But here, there is nothing to shield you or me from it anymore." Kanda could barely hear her anymore, the metallic noises and shrieks he seemed to hear almost made his head burst with sudden pain. It was hard to breathe as if the entire air was filled with a poisonous smoke and even walking on was difficult. He darted a look to his side but Ellen had put her mask back on. "This is Japan, Yu Kanda, welcome home."

To be continued

Notes:

We're finally back in Japan! :D

Another reminder because it's been so long: Kanda has problems because of the Akuma since the seal Cross put on him is on the verge of breaking. Ellen cannot renew the seal. Actually the thing troubling him is similar to Ellen's ability to see and hear Akuma, Kanda just seems to be more affected than her.

Useless note: Jesuits again. As a history student I'm fascinated by them and I have a nasty habit of including little hints of various things concerning me as a student here and there *lol* I'm sorry!


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Notes:**

Months and months, even years, have passed since I last updated this story. I don't quite know what happened that I no longer did. I probably reached a wall of my own making, because I didn't quite know anymore how I wanted to go on, despite knowing what lies still in store.

It took me some pondering how I can go on after such a long time, despite already having written the beginning of the chapter quite a while ago. First I contemplated adding a summary, but I didn't find a good way to incorporate it into the flow of the story.

It was challenging to write this chapter, but I was semi-confident that I'm up to it. I don't know if anyone is still willing to read, but as long as there is still a story to tell, I will go on.

Still, an apology for the long wait is in order; I am so sorry! Thank you to those that still dare to read after such a long time!

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

* * *

A long, long time ago, when he had still been a child, he had dreamt of the sky being nothing more than an endless, dry piece of parchment. Like the scrolls in his grandmother's secret cabinet, visible, out of reach and mysterious. He had dreamt of it containing signs and monsters drawn in heavy brush strokes. He had dreamt of them slipping out of their confinement, of ink dropping from the sky, heavy, dark rain. Of monsters, sketchy with fluid movements, falling down through the air with loud wails. It was burning, heated up, tingling in the air. Bells, maybe, and the heavy thunder of war drums, the piercing clash of sword against sword. That had been the air, just made up of sounds without sources. And the monsters kept on falling, landing on the earth drained off all colours, devouring the humans that were nothing more than black blurs shaped like burnt trees. And it was just him, just he was there, silent like a statue, watching as they came closer, hearing the sounds. He knew he could do something, to help, he had a weapon in his small hands but he could not read the signs on the parchment that would tell him where to go and what to do.

He could not read the will of the sky. He could just watch and see everything being torn apart.

-o-

Beyond the human colony, Japan's air tasted burnt, metallic and oily. Everything seemed dull, as if a greasy veil had been pulled over the landscape. Kanda could still see the rice fields, could still see the shrines and temples. He could still remember the culture, remember the happy times, when he had been the secret and unnoticed hero of his village, when he had been there to protect them all. He just couldn't see it anymore, it was all but dark. He had turned out to be powerless, just a haughty brat that had taken himself to be far too powerful, far too important. He could not maintain anything. His house had become a ruin, his family had been wiped out, his land has fallen into darkness, he had almost gone mad. He used to be just a child, he _was_ just a child. He had received power too early, he had made decisions too rashly. He had not understood the world, he had not understood his place in the greater scheme of things, insignificant or significant. Now he was here, and he could see it all despite not seeing anything but shadows of what used to be.

This journey to Japan was not going to be easy, he had known. Setting foot in this cursed country again, where he just remembered to have failed so miserably, would be painful, it would demand a lot from him. But he had decided to do it anyway, it was his task, a battleground that he could not evade. Even if their mission to find and assist General Cross had not been issued, he would have needed to come here sooner or later.

His travel companion was genuinely concerned about the state Kanda was in was in, but Ellen masked it well by assuming an air of detached curiosity. Travelling through the pandemonium of Japan didn't allow her to feel pity for him and Kanda wasn't willing to let himself be pitied by her anyway. But after travelling some time further away into the territory beyond the barrier it became apparent that the state of his seal had too great an impact on his health to be able to continue pressing on under these circumstances. But neither of them wanted to acknowledge that fact.

-o-

They were slowly making their way through a thick forest, treading on an old stone path that led to a forest shrine. Kanda's heavy breathing was well audible over their steps and Ellen heard how he dragged his feet over the stones. For Kanda it was immensely hard to follow her, all his senses were messed up; he couldn't see properly, only faint shapes swam in and out of focus, all he heard was uncountable machines and cries and his head spun. He suddenly stopped, gasping for breath and Ellen finally turned around.

"We should not stop here," Ellen advised him but he almost didn't hear her.

"Sh…," Kanda started, but then he dropped to his knees and threw up. Ellen widened her eyes and slowly walked up to him, kneeling down.

"Come…," she said and put her hands on his arm, pulling him up. Kanda coughed, wiping his mouth and let himself be pulled by her. The hand on his upper arm felt strange, cold as ice, but it was also soothing. "We cannot stop."

"I know," Kanda hissed, pressing his knuckles into his forehead. "I _know_!" Ellen looked at him silently, but she just strengthened her hold on him, pulling him ahead.

"I cannot renew the seal, we have to find Marian Cross. We have to continue, Yu Kanda," Ellen told him and Kanda nodded, but both of them were aware of the fact that Kanda could not go on for much longer. They had to seek shelter even though they were running out of time.

-o-

The decision to stop was a difficult one to make, but Ellen still did when night fell. It was very cold and the sky was crystal clear this far away from the next village, giving them enough moonlight when they were making their way to a little house not all that far away from their destination. Kanda, feverish as he was, didn't really see where they were and merely let himself be brought into the house. When Ellen shut the door it instantly grew warm and a fire started to burn in the little cooking space.

"I'm not used to being sick anymore," Kanda hissed as Ellen pushed him on a thin futon, pulling open his kimono, stripping him out of it.

"You are not sick," Ellen told him and put her palms on Kanda's chest, feeling the symbol of the Lotus Charm. "We don't have much time left. We have to find Marian Cross. The sooner the better."

"Am I going to die?" Kanda asked looking up at Ellen, but for some reason he was not really concerned. Her pale face was calm and she shook her head.

"The seal has nothing to do with your life… It is not in any danger, the Lotus Charm is still in place and working… It just seems that the curse is stronger," she whispered, pulling Kanda's warm hands into her own. Kanda relaxed instantly, squeezing her hands with his.

"Stronger than the charm that took away my mortality?" he asked quietly and Ellen, who had closed her eyes, opened them again. She drew their joined hands to her chest and leant over Kanda, feeling his hot breath on her face.

"Yes, because destiny is being pushed right back into your body…," she told him. Kanda drew back a little, so he could see her face. He frowned, clearly puzzled.

"What does that mean?" Ellen sighed.

"Even though we are connected by many bonds and I have received the supremacy over your fate for a short time, my power over you is slowly taken away from me and things go like they must." Kanda creased his brow, staring into Ellen's face until she met his eyes.

"And how must things go…? Will I age again?" She gazed at him, but then she lowered his hands back down to his own chest and let them go.

"Not yet… You're not free yet… But my protection wavers…" Kanda wanted to speak up but she turned from him. "Rest now. We have little time." She stood up and the moment he felt her departing, his consciousness slipped.

-o-

Out there it was cold, but he found himself wrapped in a heavy coat, sitting in front of a fire inside a small hut. He heard the cracks and hiss of the wood burning, but other than that it was completely silent. He didn't know where he was, he didn't even quite know _who_ he was. And he didn't know whether he was alive at all. He just felt nothing, empty.

"Don't worry, you'll be back on your feet in no time," a gentle voice said close to him. He knew that voice, but he couldn't see anything over the fire. He said nothing in return, maybe it had just been his mind playing tricks on him. "You're not very talk-active, Yu." He looked up again and saw a man sitting next to him, warm brown eyes reminding him of someone. The man put his arm around him when he saw faint recognition in the other's eyes. "Come on, boy, what is the matter with you? Don't you want to philosophize about something with me again?" He recognized the man - General Xavier.

"But you're dead," he said and Xavier laughed, not letting him go yet. "But you're… _dead_…". It came back to him, slowly, the time that had passed like a blur, who he thought he was, who he thought he was supposed to be. "Aren't you?" Xavier continued smiling and Kanda lowered his head. "I must be either dreaming, mad or dead." Xavier finally let go of him and looked into the fire with him, not saying anything for a moment. The fire was all Kanda could hear. Silent. It was so silent.

"I guess you're a bit of all…" Kanda looked at his late Master smiling at him. He turned his head back down.

"I feel like it, yes…" Another extended period of silence followed, until Kanda turned towards Xavier with a pained look. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry… Everything happens for a reason, Yu…"

"No!" he argued and Xavier raised an eyebrow, "no, your death was utterly pointless!" Xavier reached out, taking Kanda's hand into his, squeezing tightly. Kanda raised his free hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I hate this talk of fate and actions having consequences and the greater scheme of things...!"

"I'm very sorry about that, Yu, but as a human there just is a path for you to walk. What you do with your life is mostly your decision, but there are stations along the way that have been prepared for you. And while we humans don't see patterns while we are alive, doesn't mean they do not exist."

"But you still should not have died because of me, there was no point to it…"

"Yu… The decision to give up my life for you was the easiest I ever had to make." Kanda shook his head. "You were destined to go on living, it was not your time yet to die."

"And who has the right to decide that? Who can decide when it's my time? My time for anything! My time to make all the right or wrong decisions, my time to not think at all and just do? My time to live or my time to die?" Xavier smiled at him, not quite the reaction Kanda would have expected.

"Uncertainty is the burden of humanity, Yu. There is a thing called free will and there's a thing called destiny." There was wind tugging at the flames and suddenly it grew paler, losing colour and shape. "There's utterly no point in trying to think about your destiny, or what your path might be in life. Take your life back, Yu, take it all back into your own hands." Kanda felt the grasp of Xavier on his hand slip and suddenly it was all dark.

-o-

He shot up, gasping. Ellen was right above him, pushing him back down.

"Good, you're still with me," Ellen said and Kanda stared at her, wide-eyed, not really being able to place her. Until everything came back with a mind shattering shriek. The metallic heart-beat of the Akuma and the shrieking of their gears continued resounding in his head. He pressed his hands against his eyes as pain soared through is head. "You must pull yourself together now, Yu Kanda."

"Just… Shut up!" Kanda hissed, then he pushed her away and got up on wobbly knees. Ellen got up as well and handed him his kimono. He pulled it on silently, fingers slightly clumsy, but Ellen didn't help him. "How can you stand this so well?"

"I have gotten used to it over time. Also, I am still a Noah, this must hold the effects down because we have a different relationship to them than Innocence does… But that does not mean that I do not find it irritating." Kanda snorted, brushing his slightly damp hair out of his face.

"Irritating! This is not _irritating_, this is excruciating! What did your fine husband think when he gave you that curse?" He turned towards Ellen; as expected he found a disapproving frown on her face. "Well?"

"This is about not turning away from suffering," she told him calmly.

"Well, then he wasn't that successful, was he?" Kanda knew that he was being cruel, but he was utterly fed up with being a victim of other people's secret machinations and mistakes. He really, really was fed up with it.

"Why would you say that?" Ellen wondered, her back towards him because she had walked to the door. As she silently slipped it open, cold air streamed into the room, spreading the ashes of their extinguished fire.

"Because the only time I ever see some kind of human reaction to tragedies from you it's always about yourself," he told her, drawing in even breaths, hoping to numb the pain by mere will power. It was working to some extent. The girl turned her head, looking over her shoulder. Her brow was wrinkled and her eyes narrowed.

"You'd better stop talking, we need to go on," she told him, her voice barely above a whisper, but the wind carried it to Kanda's ears nevertheless.

"You don't care. You don't feel a thing towards Akuma, do you? Not even the Innocence's hatred of it. You don't feel any remorse pulling and pushing people just so that their paths suit you better." He walked up to her, grabbing her hand. "I bet Mana did care, he did care about the world and humans enough to risk his life to stop the Earl. And you? The one that he trusted to carry the burden of his wishes and hopes? You still don't care and just make me do it, don't you?" he leant down towards her, glaring into her widened eyes. "Mana must be disappointed."

Ellen pulled her arm away from Kanda's grasp, her calm face has given way to one of shock and anger.

"You're delirious!" Ellen shouted, then she stomped out of the house, "we're leaving! Idiot!"

"Don't you run away! Come on, say something!" Kanda shouted, going after her, even though his steps were less than graceful. Like the roaring of a violent storm the Akuma noise was pressing against his ears and the world around him was faded, only shades of grey, deep black and dirty white. He hadn't even noticed before, with Ellen being the only thing he had really looked at.

"Oh, what do you want me to say to that? You tell me I'm a self-pitying egoist? Well fine then! I know plenty of humans that are and you don't hold it against _them_!" She was walking down a path of steep stone steps, the forest surrounding them.

"But these people do not decide whether humanity will disappear from the face of the earth!" He caught up with her when she had arrived at the bottom of the stairs and was looking down the path leading deeper into the forest. Timcampy, who had fluttered around Kanda's head flew up to her, facing North.

"I won't. I'll just be the tool, have you already forgotten that?" Ellen asked darkly, her face grim, "we have to go into this direction. Marian Cross cannot be far."

"I have forgotten nothing at all – I clearly remember the prophecies, just like I clearly remember that you hold the threads of humans' fate in your hands. Certainly, mine is tightly wrapped around your fingers!" Kanda argued, following her when she had turned around and had started walking after Timcampy.

"Well, you sold it to me," Ellen commented dryly and Kanda narrowed his eyes in anger.

"Why, why did Mana give his powers to you? Why did he hope for you to turn against the Earl and actually start caring enough to make the right decision?"

"What have I told you about me just-" Kanda grabbed her shoulder, turning her around so that she had to look him into the eyes.

"Oh, come on! Shut the hell up! You are an adult human being! You have to make your own decisions for God's sake!" She didn't say anything and Kanda grit his teeth, but then the grip on her shoulder weakened. He lifted his hands to his forehead, slightly bending over. "Damn it…!" Ellen reached out, putting her hands on his arms. "Why is this happening?"

"Come now. I know you are agitated… We need to hurry up," she said, calm again now that Kanda no longer had the strength to continue confronting her with painful truths she rather never thought about. "Marian Cross will be able to help you." Kanda didn't protest and she led him down the path, a tight hold on his arm

-o-

Mana had given her his legacy because he had loved her, Ellen mused, looking up at the wet leaves overhead. They were resting again on the stone steps of a small shrine. Kanda was leaning against a wooden beam of the red gate, his eyes closed. When he slept Ellen unfortunately had more than enough time to think about what Kanda had said. He had been angry, it probably was the only logical reaction to his torment, but it had still been the truth. Mana, Ellen thought bitterly, had been a fool. They had been doing it so well, their life as a human couple, that even Ellen had been fooled by it, even she had grieved tremendously when it had ended. As a Noah he had been thoughtless – he had continued clinging to his human life, pretending that his Noah genes didn't even exist. He had loved the world, loved humanity, loved his wife, loved their petty little house, Ellen's petty little quirks. He had loved the way the windows fogged up when it was cold outside, how flowers grew in spring, how birds soared past on their hunt for insects. There was almost nothing that Mana had not loved, however small and insignificant it had appeared to Ellen.

His death had been cruel, the Earl's offer to bring him back and Ellen's hope despite knowing that this was just a twisted plan of the Earl to get a hold of Mana's power as the Musician, had been even worse. Mana had known that he wouldn't be able to finish what he had started, so he had wished to secure a way for Ellen to continue it one day.

But she had said no back then, when he had asked her to join him. She had simply said no. But she had not been able to forget him or his greatest wishes completely. He must have sensed that, in those dark moments of being trapped in Dark Matter, she had not given up on him and he had not given up on her.

But still, it was so frightening, it had been so painful…

"Ugh…," Kanda hissed and Ellen turned towards him. He was regaining consciousness. Ellen was glad that this time he had not fallen into a state of delirium like last time in the little hut, mumbling to himself. She knew he could not die – not yet – but there was no guarantee that he would not go mad. Things were going wrong, things happened that she had not accounted for – she who could just look at people or objects and _knew_ that they could be of use. She could almost see the threads that interlinked all with each other, she knew where to pull, where to cut, where to lightly touch, so that everything else would vibrate, fall apart, shift. And yet, here she was with Kanda being sick because she had not foreseen this years ago, they were here, in a constantly dangerous situation with him helpless like a new born child.

"We can't lose any more time. Are you ready to go?" Ellen asked when Kanda had walked over to her. He nodded, sweat glistening on his pale face. Looking at his back as Kanda walked after Timcampy, Ellen wondered just where the threads of his fate were going. Did she really hold them in her hands still? And if she did, just where actually did she plan to steer him? She knew that as a character in this eternal drama swirling around the Noah of Destiny, he was "Tragedy"; just like Mana had been. A young man that she'd care about but who would just end up helping her evolve one step further. But how? What exactly was still missing? Was she not complete by now? 7000 years of evolving… She was bound to be ready. But she, Ellen Walker, the human vessel of no greater consequence, feared that she wasn't ready at all to go down either path. Ellen stopped in her tracks when Kanda suddenly stopped, head sunken on his chest.

"What is the matter, Yu Kanda? We have to go on," she said. He looked at her and she took a step back out of surprise. His eyes flickered yellow under his long black bangs. He reached out his hand, putting it heavily on top of her shoulder.

"I can't," he hissed, then she slumped towards her, panting against her throat. Ellen still stared into space, too surprised. Had her mind played a trick on her?

"Yu Kanda," she said, grabbing his shoulders, shaking, "YU!" He turned his head towards her slightly and opened his eye wide enough for her to see that it was the same deep blue that it had always been. Ellen clenched her hands, creasing up the already worn fabric of his kimono.

"We can't lose any more time. I am sorry about this," she said then she bend down and reached around his knees, her other arm around his back. With more ease than she'd expected she lifted him up, pressing him to her body.

"Wh-"

"Be quiet," she said, then she turned towards Timcamy, "show the way." It moved up and down as if to nod, then it flew off, faster than it had before when showing Kanda the way. She followed it with swift steps, the now unconscious Kanda tightly held in her arms.

-o-

Timcampy guided her through the forest and after half a day's march she arrived at the outskirts of a village. The fields had been long abandoned and the houses were ruined. It was cold and Kanda's skin had turned pale, his lips tinted blue. It was time to finally arrive. In the distance she could see the remains of a manor house, its property enclosed by a stone wall. Timcampy was sitting on top of the gate leading inside.

"In here?" she wondered, slightly surprised that Cross would decide on a dwelling in such a lamentable state. She approached it, seeing the empty courtyard beyond the gate, but then she stopped. The scent of tobacco lingered in the air, as well as a distinctive scent she remembered all too well. Suddenly a hand reached out from beyond the gate, grabbing Ellen's shoulder. She widened her eyes and looked at it. Its fingers were gloved, the bit of the arm that was visible to her was clad in a white shirt. Most important of all; it came out of thin air. The hand travelled upwards to Ellen's cheek, caressing gently, then it reached towards the back of her neck and pulled. Ellen stumbled through the gate and against a warm chest.

"So we meet again," a rich, deep voice said and she looked up.

"Indeed, it has been a long time, Marian Cross." He grinned at her, half of his face hidden behind full, red hair. He had not changed one bit since she had last seen him.

"So, let me get this piece of luggage for you," he said, taking Kanda out of her arms, putting him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Cross turned towards the mansion, which, beyond the gate, still possessed all the splendour it must have once had. It was warm in the garden, the sun was shining brightly from behind the roof of the mansion. A small smile formed on Ellen's lips. She should have expected this from one of the greatest magicians of their time. The barrier was perfectly executed.

"Oi, Ellen, move your ass!" She shook her head still with a smile playing on her lips, following the man inside.

-o-

He was feeling comfortable, warm and cosy. Something in his ears was pulsating, it sounded like a low, echoing heartbeat. But somehow there were other things intermingling with the even sound; voices. He could hear them only faintly, but the voices seemed familiar.

"Dear Ellen, you have no need for such silly emotions," someone said, "Mana is finally gone, you can be free again."

"I am." Low chuckling and somehow hearing that voice caused a feeling of unrest to well up inside of him.

"Oh, are you? Then why do you still cling to his legacy? He has left you something, but all that you need is here; your eye, his power as musician. Nothing more. You don't need him."

"Wait-"

"Good night!" He felt hands on him, cold hands, menacing hands. He wanted to scream, but no sound came from his lips, but he heard Ellen utter a strangled scream instead, then everything went dark.

Until someone slapped him and his eyes snapped open. It took him a shocked moment, but then he opened his mouth and sucked in air, coughing, then settling on irregular breathing. It seemed to him as if he had held his breath for a very long time, so that he had almost forgotten how to breathe.

"That brat is nuts, I don't know why I always have to save him." His eyes darted to the side, seeing a man sitting next to his bed, smoking a cigarette.

"General… Cross?" He did look like General Cross, just like the man he had met when General Xavier had died. Wasn't he supposed to be older now?

"Welcome back among the living," Cross said and Kanda sat up. He looked around; the room he found himself in was splendidly furnished, with a lot of expensive furniture standing around and it was brightly coloured. There was no longer a dark veil over his eyes and the sounds of the Akuma had greatly disappeared.

"Is… Is the seal renewed?" Kanda asked. Cross snorted.

"Yes and no," he said and Kanda looked at him, confusion written all over his face.

"We are within a barrier," he heard Ellen's voice speak and found her entering the room. She no longer wore the white kimono, but a one made of red silk. It was far better than the white one, but he still found it unfitting. "Nobody will find us here and the Akuma noises are blocked out because of the magic."

"You don't look that good," Cross remarked, cutting her off before she could explain more.

"Excuse me?" Ellen wondered and Kanda also looked up at her. Indeed, she was a bit paler than usual, but otherwise she seemed fine. "Oh. I am tired, it was a difficult journey with him being so affected."

"And whose fault is that?" Kanda said between clenched teeth. Ellen merely looked at him with a clam expression. He then turned to General Cross.

"What about the seal?" The man scratched his head, taking his cigarette and extinguishing it on the surface of the expensive looking night-table.

"I was not able to renew it. As the situation stands, it's almost gone. I have just mended it as good as possible. But it won't take long for it to shatter completely." Kanda narrowed his eyes, putting his hand on his chest. "But don't worry. The side effects of the Dark Matter curse Ellen has won't return. I was able to counter that quite effectively with a few spells," Cross said with a smug grin and Kanda looked back up at him. "But there's another problem. The seal did also stop another process," Cross continued.

"Marian, wait a moment," Ellen attempted to stop him, but the exorcist just shot her a challenging look. "It was just speculation on my part. What I saw could have easily been my own fatigue."

"Oh, then why don't you go outside for a moment? Get some well-deserved beauty sleep?" he asked, feigning worry. Ellen wanted to protest, but Cross made a dismissive gesture with his hand. Ellen pressed her lips together disapprovingly, but then she left the room, closing the sliding door after her. Kanda could her hear walk down the corridor and shut another door further inside the house. Cross turned his eyes back towards Kanda, who had watched the exchange with surprise. What kind of relationship did these two secretive magicians have anyway?

"So, now that there will be no more interruptions… Let me tell you something about the Lotus Charm."

_To be continued_

* * *

**Notes:**

Dun dun!

It's not such a long chapter, but it's a start! :D

This chapter is full of little scenes and a lot of scene breaks. I know, not really a wonderful chapter to apologize for the long wait I made you suffer through. But it is the start of the part of the story where I will finally give the answers to the questions.

I'd be nice to hear what you think!


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Notes:**

Another chapter full of revelations for you! I had some troubles here and there, making up my mind where to include which scene. Most of what will happen towards the end is still vague in my mind, but the stations on the way there seem to become clearer.

I wanted to update fast, seeing as I actually do have time and the inspiration to write. No point at all in making you wait unnecessarily, especially as – after such a long time – there are still people reading! :3

/Dialogue written in slashes/ means that it's said on the other end of a transmitted conversation!

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

* * *

The Lotus Charm. What he had once thought to be his only chance at strength and ultimately revenge had fast become a nightmarish burden on his heart. 20 years he had had to live with its effect, 20 years he had paid for one thoughtless moment. Long and bitter nights where he had stared at the flower, at the petals on the floor and wondering exactly what he had given up to have received such a dark gift. He had looked at the petals, at times hating, at times indifferent, at times crying but often fearing all to perish and he with them. The flower, delicate as it was, proved to be the strongest shackles, none he could possibly free himself of. He thought to have realized what it really meant to pay with destiny; humans were meant to be born, to live their lives and to die. He had both given up the right to choose how to live and the ability to die when the time would have been right.

"Okay, listen up closely, brat," Cross said, Kanda glaring at him for the insulting way of addressing him. He might be a lot, but at almost 40 he surely was no longer a brat! "I'm only going to tell you once, so you better pay attention." The man took a longish pipe from Kanda's night table and put it to his lips. Kanda watched how the smoke that Cross blew out swirled around and then rose to the ceiling where it evaporated. "If there's anything I don't like then it's not knowing what's in store for me. To be always one step ahead is what has kept me alive despite the danger I'm constantly in. Other than you I don't react that well to having my head chopped off. Ignorance will get us nowhere in this battle." Kanda nodded slowly, not entirely sure what the General was on about. "When it comes to Ellen Walker," here the man snorted, shaking his head in what seemed to be bemusement, "well, let's just say that she's one hell of a woman. Exceedingly difficult to read, even more difficult to get to core of what she's thinking or feeling." Kanda narrowed his eyes, then he wiped his hair out of his face.

"Tell me something I don't know yet," he said through clenched teeth. Cross blew out smoke, unimpressed by Kanda's interruption of his soliloquy.

"Then what do you know?" he challenged and Kanda put his hands back on the silky bedcovers, looking up at the red haired man sitting next to his bed. Kanda pressed his lips together for a short moment.

"I know her real name, I know how the previous Noah of Destiny has died, I know that she was married to the 14th who wants her to continue whatever he's been doing. I know that she chose me instead to carry this burden and I know that she has gone through trouble to get me this far. But I do not know why she did what she did or why she does what she does. I don't know what she's feeling and I don't know where she's standing in this war." Cross looked him in the eyes, studying him for a long moment, before he closed his eyes, drawing the corners of his lips up into a grin.

"Well, at least it's more than most people will ever know of her," he said, then he got up, putting the pipe back down. He walked to the window, looking out with a solemn but calm expression. "I've heard of her before I actually met her. I've read and researched her as much as I could, but nothing I knew actually helped me one bit when I was standing before her. The human aspect of her is actually quite easy to penetrate, but you never quite know what you're dealing with anyway."

"Because of her Noah side...," Kanda added and Cross nodded, his back still turned towards him.

"I knew that when the time for battle comes, what she chooses to do will be crucial for how it'll go. I knew that she had Innocence, I tried to get her on my side, but could not succeed. There was something else that I wanted of her though; next to being compatible and a Noah, she is also a powerful magician. After Mana had been destroyed by her hand her body was in a lamentable state, which is why I taught her how to control her Innocence. In return she had to teach me some of the darkest spells in her arsenal." Kanda studied the back of his head with a frown. He remembered what Rabi had found out, he remembered the letters.

"Necromancy," he spoke up and Cross turned his head to look over his shoulder at his grumpy guest. "Rabi, the Bookman, looked into some documents for me. There was an exchange of letters between you and Xavier. Necromancy was mentioned there," Kanda explained. Cross turned around again, crossing his arms over his chest, nodding.

"Yes. The art of necromancy and what the Earl does with his Akuma and human souls isn't all that different. It's ancient magic, very, very ancient. And dark of course," Cross said, a grin on his lips.

"Which doesn't seem to worry you one bit," Kanda said with a snort and the other General laughed.

"Why should it? If I want to do something then nothing will stop me, not using dark magic, not using an enemy to teach me. Everything goes," he explained and Kanda just furrowed his brow, not quite sharing this view. "In any case, the Lotus Charm is essential about necromancy. Powerful spells need powerful energy to fuel them and strengthen them. Can you follow ?" Kanda raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes?"

"Now, the Lotus Charm is not a conventional spell. It is in no book and it probably is the most powerful protection spell there is. You are essentially immortal; you will not age one day and you'll survive even death itself…" Cross sat back down on the chair next to the bed and grabbed Kanda's kimono. The young man widened his eyes when Cross pulled it down from his shoulders to reveal his chest. "But other than being all chipper about it as any other immortal would be, you can't help but being grim about it." Cross studied the markings on Kanda's chest that extended over his shoulder and down to his shoulder blades. He seemed content with what he saw and looked up in Kanda's eyes. He pushed his gloved finger into Kanda's chest, poking him almost painfully. "Because however you try to think about it, it all boils down to the fact that you have no time and no life force of your own." He took his hand away, clapping his thighs and then grabbing his knees while bending closer to Kanda. "You're a corpse running on borrowed time." Kanda widened his eyes, staring at the general in front of him. He, other than Kanda, was completely calm.

"What…? What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you still have your soul, so I shouldn't actually call you a corpse." Kanda still stared at him, not quite being able to make sense of what he's just been told. He was _dead_? But he was _alive_!

"Did I die?" Was the only thing Kanda managed to ask and Cross rolled his eyes.

"Laypeople. You don't get anything about magic, do you?" Kanda glared at him.

"Well, I do know that you just told me that I'm _dead_! I'm pretty sure that being _dead_ is a consequence of _dying_!"

"Dead is also a consequence of not living. And what you lack is, as I'm sure I told you before, life energy. You don't possess any of it. Mortality, if that's more to your liking. What is essentially human – the fact that they have time and energy that runs out – you lack. You've got the soul, you've got the body, you've got the blood pumping through your veins, but you do not, by magicians' standards, live. At least not your own life time." Kanda looked at him, still with that mix of irritation and confusion on his face. "This is the crux of the Lotus Charm. Do think you can at least pretend to understand that? Or else it'll be pretty useless to even try going through this stuff." Kanda clenched the fabric of the bedcovers angrily, but the nodded.

"Good. I have never tried anything as powerful as the Lotus Charm, but I have made little experiments. I cannot tell where your own life energy has gone to," Cross continued, chin held in his hand, elbow on his knee.

"My destiny and my mortality are what I gave in exchange for the spell," Kanda told him, but Cross shook his head. "That's what I've been told."

"Yes, because it's been 'overwritten' with something else, so to speak. Ellen, no matter who she is, cannot take away your _destiny_. What she did to you would just open up possibilities while closing others. Maybe you'd be somewhere else right now if she hadn't given you the Charm, but you'd still be fighting in this war, the fact that you can make a difference in it would not have changed." Kanda sighed, shaking his head. "In any case, your mortality should still be somewhere. What necromancers can do is effectively manipulating energy, something crucial for life."

"So, my life has been transported to the Lotus which ages in my stead?" Cross fixed his eyes on him, his mouth set in a displeased line.

"You haven't got this yet, have you," the red-head said with an exasperated sigh, touching his fingers to his forehead. "Now I understand why Ellen said she's only teach those that are already proficient in magic…" Kanda looked at him with a grim expression, not happy at all that he was being made fun of in such a situation. Cross lifted his head again, touching the tip of his finger to the side of his head. "No, think a bit. Your own life power is not getting used up at all, it's frozen, stored away somewhere; either in your body or somewhere only Ellen knows. But, this I repeat, it is NOT being used." Kanda continued glaring at him, but then he widened his eyes. "Ah, you got it. The Lotus, whatever it actually is, supplies the life force that you are living on." Kanda might have understood that, but it still was puzzling. "Ellen used necromancy to bring this dead thing back to life. That was step one, then she established a connection between you and the revived object; your markings are a sign of it. Then the life force of the object got into your body, replacing your own life force which Ellen had either taken out or just suppressed."

"I can't remember her taking anything out of me," Kanda told him, but Cross just snorted.

"This does not mean anything. Magic happens without great rituals or gestures. Sometimes you don't even notice it – that's what powerful magic is. Though it does leave signs," Cross said, flicking his finger in the direction of Kanda's chest. Kanda sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"So, I can actually get rid of the curse if I get my own life force back and terminate the connection between me and the flower…," he mused, talking more to himself than to Cross. Cross still chose to answer.

"That won't be easy." Kanda looked up at him. "I told you that there was a problem. With magic as powerful as this, things can go wrong. Unaccounted for things can always happen, that's something magicians have to live with when they bend the rules of nature to their liking. Putting the Akuma curse aside for a moment because I've dealt with it, there is still something else." Kanda nodded, remembering that Cross had told him before. What _else_ could have gone wrong? "The problem with necromancy is that a dead person might get revived but it still does not live. If you revive a person and then link it to a foreign body, which has happened in your case, the traits of the dead body get linked to the new one as well. Even though the dead person was revived in terms of life energy restoration, its soul is not connected to the body anymore." Cross tapped his finger on his knee restlessly.

"Ellen can't bring back a soul… Only the Earl can," Kanda stated and Cross nodded, "that's why she couldn't bring Mana back, at least not without the 'help' of the Earl…" The older general shook his head, a humourless laugh escaping his lips.

"Even if there is no soul, restored life energy is peculiar in its own way. It's very tricky to handle, even for small revived objects. The revived person has a life of its own, even though it cannot properly live it due to missing a soul or a proper body. The Lotus is an immobilized object, however, it is also tied to you because its life force is flowing through you and it both. What this revived object tries to do is in its instinct."

"Instinct?" Kanda repeated the word, puzzled. "So you say it attempts to live." Cross nodded.

"Yes and no. Fact is that before its life was terminated it had its identity, its traits, its own fate in the world. Death is usually the end of all of this, but if you bring it back, well, it'll pick up where it stopped. Whatever the Lotus flower used to be, it's trying to get you – its host, its parasite, whatever you want to call it – to _be_ it." Kanda lifted his hands.

"Wait. What? It wants to go on living through me?" he asked incredulously and Cross put his hand on Kanda's shoulder. Kanda flinched at the heavy weight and the intense stare he received.

"In this aspect it's very much like Innocence; life power is a raw energy, a dark energy now because it's been pulled back from death. Traits, genetic information, its very own severed destiny, this is all entering your body. Your body _has_ no life force, so it can barely resist this overwriting process. The markings on your chest are a sign of this process. It's progressing rapidly now, most probably because the seal I put on you is almost gone." Cross gave his shoulder an almost painful, but still comforting squeeze, before he leant back in his chair, studying his fellow exorcist. Kanda put both of his palms to his face, thinking with his eyes squeezed shut. He then drew his palms down to his lips, opening his eyes and looking at Cross grimly.

"So," he started, lowering his hands entirely, "I think I get it." Cross nodded, but didn't say anything at all. "What she had revived has never been something as simple as a flower… It was a human." Cross nodded yet again, but this time he offered some additional insights:

"The greater the sacrifice, the greater the result. I mentioned that. Complicated magic gets you further than easy one does. And nothing is more complex than a human being, its restored life force is far greater than that of a measly flower." Kanda cursed, hitting the mattress with his fist, his entire face showing his agitation. He didn't say anything for a long time, but his thoughts were running wild. He almost didn't dare to say it, almost didn't dare to hear the answer.

"Do you… think that she might have tried to revive Mana a second time?" Cross shrugged, a far too carefree gesture Kanda thought.

"It's possible." And this simple answer hung in the air between them, heavily, darkly.

-o-

Kanda was not really prepared to face Ellen when she slipped back into the room. The atmosphere was still tense, even after silence had reigned in the room for quite some time.

"You are done then?" Ellen asked, clearly avoiding looking at Kanda, not that he noticed, because he was busy avoiding looking at her too. She couldn't possibly know what Cross had told him or the conclusions he had drawn, but she could at least guess the extent of Cross' knowledge about her spell. In any case, it must have made her uneasy enough to not face him.

"There's only so much a man can take in at once," Cross said in an uninterested tone, sipping sake. Before Ellen could reply, he set the cup back down on the night table rather noisily and turned around in his chair to face both of them. "Okay, listen. You're probably not only here in Japan because your pretty toy needed maintenance," Kanda glared at him indignantly, "but because you're on a mission."

"Exactly, on the mission to find and aid you, General Cross," Kanda replied, "and to bring you back afterwards," he added.

"General Kanda," the red-head started mockingly and Kanda wrinkled his nose in annoyance, "that is exactly what I was waiting for. So here's the deal." He propped his elbows up on his knees and bent forwards. "My long term mission was to find the Akuma egg and to destroy it. Doing so would effectively cut the Earl's Akuma supply." Kanda chanced darting a look at Ellen to see if she showed any kind of reaction to that, but she was still calmly leaning against the night-table, looking at Cross without a discernable expression on her face. "I know exactly where it is now, I was merely waiting for the time when the Earl put the Egg back inside of the Ark. This, my comrades, is our once in a lifetime chance to both severe the connection of the Ark to Edo and to destroy the egg. _IF,_" here he tilted his face towards Ellen, trapping her with his piercing look. She grabbed the edge of the night table a bit firmer, Kanda could see the knuckles of her pale hand turning even whiter. "Ellen here is willing to help us."

"Me?" Ellen asked sceptically, but Cross just laughed hollowly.

"Drop the naïve act, you know exactly that you're crucial to this endeavour. You are the one that can severe the connection, you as the player. You as the one commanding the Ark can give us access to the Egg." Ellen's face changed to a displeased frown that made Cross snort. "I bet your General agrees." Cross looked at Kanda and his face mimicked Ellen's frown. "If you're an exorcist then there's not one question to be asked, it's your mission, you do it."

"I understand," Ellen said into the silence after a while and Kanda looked at her. Her gaze was directed to the floor and she had her hand on her left upper arm. He heard the sound of a chair scratching the floor and he looked up to see Cross standing up. He walked over to Ellen and took her chin into his hands, peering down into her face. Kanda widened his eyes, but he didn't move from his spot on the bed.

"Do you understand, darling?" Cross said darkly, pulling her chin upwards so that she looked at him, "_Do_ you?" He let her go again, but didn't step back. "You have to make a decision. Either you help us or you go away; we absolutely cannot afford you to stab us into the backs when we're there! If you let us in then the Earl will probably know what is up; if you agree to fight on our side then there's no backing out again. Is that clear?" Ellen squeezed her eyes shut and he grabbed her shoulders. "_Is that clear?_" Cross repeated slowly but forcefully. Ellen nodded and he let her go. "Well, I'm sure you want to think about it before. Go to your room and _think hard_." The girl lowered her head, then she walked past him without another word or a gaze directed at Kanda. Quietly she opened the door and quietly she closed it after herself. Cross snorted into the silence taking the flask with sake from the table and gulping it down.

"Well, pretty boy? Don't you want to get your ass up and be useful?" he asked and let himself fall down on the chair. Kanda drew his lips into a tight line, but then he threw back the blanket and left the bed. "I was being serious."

"About what?" Kanda asked, already halfway out of the door. He looked over his shoulder, but Cross was staring out of the window.

"She has to decide now. Brace yourself and decide what you want to do if she won't help us." Kanda took in a deep breath and left the room.

"Yes." He closed the door and walked down the corridor. Just what was he supposed to do? Was this the crucial moment? The moment where humanity's fate would be decided? Just like that? What if she really made up her mind to not take the risk, to not help them? Would there still be a chance to get her on their side later on? Would he have to use force to convince her? Or… would he have to use force to take her down?

"She is crucial to this battle… What if she's…" he almost didn't dare to think about it, but he had to, "what if she's disposed of? Would the Earl still have a chance without her? Would we have a chance without her?" Kanda stopped and kicked the wall in frustrations. "God, I _hate_ prophecies!" He leant his head against the wall, thinking, trying to calm himself. Cross was right, there was only so much a man – any person actually – could take at once. But it must have been the same for Ellen, maybe she wasn't feeling well with the situation either.

Kanda's fear that what he dreaded was actually stood between him and her like a shadow. Was he really nothing more than a resurrected, twisted continuation of Mana Walker? Was he just a copy of her tragedy with him? Was that all there was? Was that in the light caresses on the hourglasses surface? Was that in the pained looks she showed him? Was that in the promise that the world still had hope as long as he lived? Was that in Ellen's reassurance that Mana's cause was not lost? Was it just that?

Still… Still, he opened the door to the room where Ellen was in. He didn't know it was her room, but intuition had led him here, just as if he could feel her. She was sitting on the futon, hands in her lap, completely still.

"I'm… sorry. Is this a bad time?" Kanda asked carefully. Ellen shook her head.

"There is no good time, it seems, for anything right now," she replied and looked up when he sat down on the futon next to her with a sigh. Silence again, but then Ellen turned towards him.

"What did Marian Cross tell you…?" she wondered, almost fearful. Kanda was taken aback slightly by her expression, but then he rubbed his neck, thinking about what he should tell her.

"Why don't you want me to know anything about it…? It's about me after all…" Ellen frowned, but remained quiet. "He told me that whatever or whoever you used as life source to replace my own has it stuck in its mind to overwrite who I am. Whoever that person was, he wants out of the Lotus and into me." Ellen clenched her teeth, her eyes narrowing, shaking her head.

"That should not be happening…!" Kanda raised his hand to put it on her back reassuringly, but she turned towards him. He blinked at her, but she just wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Ah- what?"

"I don't want this to happen! First the Dark Matter and now this! I just want things to go as they are supposed to just for once!"

"You want me to become your tragedy?" Kanda asked calmly and Ellen drew away from him enough to look into his face. "Because isn't that what I'm supposed to be?" Ellen lowered her head and he could only see her white hair falling into her face. She lifted her head again and looked at him, her mouth was set and her eyebrows lowered. She parted her lips lightly, Kanda waiting for her to say something, but she just put her hands on the side of his face and kissed him. Kanda raised his eyebrows in surprise. She put her weight against his chest, forcing him to lie down. Kanda was not sure what to do, he had no idea, but he put his hand on her hips and let her kiss him. She drew back slightly to wet her lips with her tongue and as their faces were so close her tongue touched his lips as well. She bent down again and put another short kiss on his lips, before she sat up enough to be able to look him into the eyes.

"I would never want to make you my tragedy. You're different from what I had expected," she said, her voice uneven and she slipped her hand under his kimono, feeling his warm skin. Kanda didn't know what to say at all, he didn't even know what to make of the fact that they were so close. Ellen sighed deeply, but then she bent down again, slipping his kimono off his shoulders, kissing his lips passionately.

"W…," Kanda pushed his hands against her stomach and she flinched, stopping her kisses at once, "wait a moment." She sat up straight, looking down at him, both flustered and insecure. He put his hand on Ellen's shoulder, sitting into an upright position. He looked rather dishevelled with his hair a mess from tossing around in is feverish sleep, his kimono undone, half of his upper body showing. "Why are you doing this all of a sudden…?"

"All of a sudden…? I've been meaning to do this for quite some time now," she whispered, her honesty surprising him. She sighed, fingers against her forehead. "I'm sorry. My head is all messed up…"

"I… can relate to that, but…," he couldn't find anything to say.

"You know that I used to be a prostitute and that I enjoy being intimate with men… But… this wasn't about that at all. It's…" she shook her head, laughing silently, but more because of the irony of it all. "I'm really sorry. There must be so many thoughts in your head… Because I can't make up my mind you aren't in a position to know how to judge my actions either…" Kanda sighed, patting the pale ankle he could see from underneath the hem of her kimono.

"So you still can't make up your mind?" Ellen shrugged her shoulders listlessly. Kanda sighed, then he let go of her ankle and got up on his feet, tugging the kimono back up. She looked up at him uncertainly.

"I give you some time to think, I guess I only confuse you with being here…," Ellen frowned, but Kanda already turned around, "I'll go check if there's any usable telephone in this building in order to check up on Rabi…" When he was at the door he looked back at the girl sitting on the futon. "When I'm done I'll be back. We'll continue then." She blinked up at him, just catching an ambiguous smile on his lips that made her blush despite herself. He left her room and closed the door. Kanda walked some steps before he actually let out a shaky breath he'd been holding. Just… what exactly had happened in there? Had she made real advances, just like that? Kanda shook his head in confusion, walking around the mansion.

"What are you looking for?" Cross' voice appeared out of nowhere. Kanda gave a start but turned around to find the man leaning against the wall, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"A… telephone."

"A telephone…," Cross repeated flatly, then he laughed, shaking his head. "There's one in my room, though I'm not sure if it works anymore. But if you want it to work, I'm sure it'll will," he said mysteriously and Kanda eyed him suspiciously. "My room's at the end of this corridor. Be on your way!" Kanda still frowned, but then he turned around, finding the room and entering. It was quite dark inside, but it looked like all the other rooms in the mansions did; luxurious. The only thing that made this place look like it actually belonged to Cross were shelves lined with leather bound books, many bottles of various alcoholic beverages and a stack of pictures Kanda rather not looked at too closely. He saw the telephone stand on a tower of books and Kanda grabbed the receiver and put it his ear. It was silent. With a frown Kanda sill turned the dial. Suddenly there was static noise and a voice answered:

/Black Order Asia Branch Information Bureau?/ He was a bit surprised, but because Cross had warned him about this apparently moody piece of technology before, he could get over it rather quickly.

"This is General Yu Kanda. Get me a connection to Rabi." He was asked to wait for a moment, then Rabi's cheerful voice greeted him:

/Yes? Is that you General?/

"It's Kanda," the dark haired man said flatly and heard Rabi laugh silently on the other side of the line. "We're in Japan, I'm on Cross' phone."

/What? You actually found him?/ Rabi sounded incredulous and Kanda couldn't hold it against him. /What happened?/

"Nothing much. We've been travelling through Japan, but I've been out cold for quite some time. Ellen found him… When I woke up again I was in this mansion and he was there…" Rabi was quiet, probably too surprised to say anything. "Listen," Kanda continued, sighing heavily, "I've got quite a bit on my mind, just tell me something to distract me."

/In a good or in a bad way…?/ he heard Rabi reply and Kanda straightened up immediately. He grabbed the phone from the tower and sat down on Cross' bed with it.

"What have you found out?" he urged and Rabi sighed.

/You won't like it…,/ Rabi warned him, but Kanda wanted him to tell him nevertheless, /I've gotten my hands on an older tome of the Bookman chronicles. It's got all sort of dodgy random stuff in it, like-/

"Get to the point," Kanda hissed and Rabi coughed uneasily.

/It speaks of a pact,/ he began and Kanda raised his eyebrow in confusion, /it has been made a long, long time ago. I'm going to read out the entry to you because I think this is relevant to you as well. I translated the important parts of it, so listen:

When the earth was still in the old days, the grey days, the world has found a balance between the Light and the Dark. With either sphere being too strong or, reversely, too weak, the world that lay between would suffer great calamities. Still, the age of grey that ruled between will come to pass, sink into the dark ocean, only to rise again. But altered, divided. Cruel light and darkness even worse. Humans cannot live in either one of them, they will perish anew should the balance topple again.  
For the end of the world, the end of that time, the divided battle field must be complete. One dark entity must call for its counterpart, one light entity long for its darkness. This is to be the rule observed. Only if there is balance can the fight for supremacy begin. This is what we have seen.

This entry is from around 850, but that's just the first time it's been recorded. The knowledge of the pact between Light and Dark has been around for much, much longer./ Kanda was puzzled, scratching the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, right. But what exactly is the big news in that? We know that Innocence and the Noah are two opposing forces… So both sides need the same amount of power to start the war for good. Fine, but we have no idea how to find out if the number is evenly distributed. And even if-"

/I know it seemed random. But there's a prophecy linked to it,/ Rabi interrupted him and Kanda groaned. _Prophecies_! He heard the rustling of paper on the other end of the line, before Rabi muttered: /I told you, you won't like it…/

"Right. Just go on…"

/I found the note of the prophecy in my search for some more clues about the Noah of Destiny. I've had to do quite a bit of digging through old records, but I found it. It's from around 1300. And it says: "Dark must be the days of humans when the army of old descents upon us again. Human generation, upon human generation, the added up weight and wisdom of countless lives will be forged into one; the Dark Fate will emerge. She will have three faces; one sees the dark, one the light and one is as blind as any human eyes. The Dark Fate is powerful, both sides are in delicate balance within her frail body. But the Pact will not be fooled, the pack decrees a warrior. And he will be born; he will emerge from the Grey. He will have the sight to behold her, he will the magic to comprehend her, he will have the sword to slay her if it is the will of the world to survive."/ Kanda remained silent, trying to process what he had just been told. /Well, it says elsewhere that the Warrior of Grey has special magical abilities and can wield an arsenal of weapons, of which he will choose a sword… But it's all rather vague…/ Kanda snorted and he could hear Rabi fidgeting on the other side.

"What is it?" he gave in. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear still more.

/You know that his is about you…,/ Rabi said quietly and Kanda remained silent. /When Ellen first turned into a Noah, you were born./

"Yeah, I remember that it was the same year," Kanda said, "but that-"

/It's not only the same year. It's the same day, the _same hour_…!/ This properly managed to make Kanda stand up at once, knocking the tower of books over. He started cursing, but stopped in the middle of the word, his eyes wide. /Yu…? Is everything alright?/ Kanda was holding the telephone in his hand. It had no cable. It was plugged into nowhere.

"I… I don't think that anything is okay," he answered tentatively, rather disturbed by what he had heard and the magically functioning telephone didn't help either.

/No… I don't think so either… Something is utterly wrong here… Not just the prophecy, but everything. How everything seemed to be planned and not even only by Ellen, or Destiny actually…/

"What do you mean?" Kanda asked, trying to remain calm.

/I found a letter… It's from your grandma./ Kanda hauled the phone against the next wall, his eyes wide. Sweat was dripping from his face and he panted. /What was that noise? Are you alright?/ And still the voice came out of the receiver lying next to the broken metal. He could hear it crystal clear as if Rabi were standing right next to him.

"Read it out," Kanda managed to say even though breathing was difficult right now. He had to calm down…! He had to- But his _grandmother_! For Christ's sake!

/Everything is in place. My grandson will soon be born. I have been able to read the signs, there is no doubt about it. He is the one. I am ready. Send me the secret Innocence cube, its century long secret slumber has finally come to an end. I will make sure that he will find it in due time. Signed, Tsubaki Kanda/ Rabi's voice had been silent, but clear enough to hear every world. Every painful word and Kanda could almost hear his grandmother's voice speaking, like a faint echo to Rabi.

"… Thank you…," Kanda whispered after a while.

/Don't… thank me, Yu. I've done nothing but dig up painful stuff… I'm so sorry,/ Rabi replied, /and all you've wanted were some words to cheer you up from whatever troubled you… I should have kept my mouth shut until later…/ Kanda sighed, shaking his head.

"No… You've been great…," the general said, wiping his forehead.

/I'd hug you now if you weren't in Japan, you know? It makes me feel so jittery when you praise me,/ Rabi told him and Kanda couldn't help cracking a smile despite his rather subdued mood. /Oh, I almost forgot. There's also something else I'm not so sure if you'll find good or bad./ Kanda groaned, rubbing the back of his head.

"Try me," he said and Rabi laughed.

/Hanako is on her way to the Asia Branch,/ he announced and Kanda lifted his eyebrow.

"What? Why?"

/I'm not sure. Soon after we left for China, she must have made up her mind to leave Headquarters as well. When Linali received a mission that would have her report to the Asia Branch she must have taken the opportunity. Komui told me they're all on the way here…/ Kanda sighed deeply.

"She should just have waited for us to return. We could have taken her to any other branch in the blink of an eye. There's no need to expose herself to danger…!" he argued, shaking his head.

/I agree, but she's an adult. And besides, Linali is with her. They should be here by the end of the week. How about you contact me again then?/ Kanda eyed what was left of the telephone suspiciously, but he just agreed. /Good, then I'll speak to you then! Take good care, Yu and say hello to Ellen for me. And… I don't know, salute the venerable Cross for me or something like that./ Kanda had to roll his eyes. As if there was anything venerable about Cross… The connection finally died and Kanda let himself fall back on the bed. It smelled of tobacco.

-o-

It smelled of tobacco. Ellen looked around uneasily. She had left the mansion shorty after Kanda had gone outside. She really needed to sort out her thoughts. Wandering further away from the mansion, her feet took her through the derelict village into the forest that led to Edo. It was cold, especially as she only wore a kimono whose purpose was more geared towards decoration than warmth. And the smell of Cross' mansion… It stuck to everything. Ellen hated to smell of tobacco in the cold.

"Hey," Ellen widened her eyes and felt a hand on the back of her neck, slipping down slowly. "If it isn't my dear girl." Ellen looked over her shoulder, her eyes wide. Tyki Mikk blew out cigarette smoke into the air, then he let the cigarette fall down, crushing it with his foot. Ellen took one step backwards, seeing the dark grin on his face. "Straying in the dark!"

_To be continued_

* * *

**Notes:**

Hello Tyki Mikk, I'm not sure if we've missed you!

I too, like Kanda, hate prophecies, they make me all crazy in the head thinking about how to make them complex and clear and vague at the same time.

The sudden Kanda-Ellen moment might have broken the flow up a bit, but I just wanted to have it in before she ran across Tyki.

I'd be happy to hear what you think! ^3^

P.S. Some of you might have already seen it, but I drew a picture for NoD with which I inspired myself to go on writing. I wanted to have it ready for last chapter, but university got in they. You can find the link on my profile page / dA page!


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Notes:**

Another weekend, another chapter ready for you! I don't know if I can keep updating every one or two weeks, but I'll keep on doing it for as long as my fingers move swiftly over the keyboard.

This chapter gave me some trouble for a variety of reasons, but I am happy to announce that I'm taking advantage of the M rating again, and Tyki's not even involved (well, at least not in the pleasant parts of the chapter)

It's gotten a bit long, but I still decided to include the last scene.

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

* * *

Chapter 29

The familiar scent of his tobacco filled Ellen's nostrils. Tyki held her arm pressed against her back and it tore at her shoulder joint, but she refrained from voicing her discomfort. Tyki put his nose against her hair, kissing her ear, but also breathing in her scent.

"Hm. Hm. Peculiar," he said in an amused sounding voice and released her arm from his fierce grip, but then he whirled her around, looking at her with a grin plastered on his face. It was dark, menacing, as if it could cut right through her. It was strange, Ellen had never been afraid of Tyki, but now she was worried. "Your hair smells of tobacco but it's not my brand."

"Tyki Mikk… This is nothing out of the ordinary. A lot of men smoke… Why do you-"

"Kiss me, Ellen," he interrupted and she looked at the tall man with confusion. "Come on," he challenged, "what is the matter with you?" Ellen put on a smile and placed her hands on his shoulder, reaching up.

"You gave me a fright," she told him, which was not a lie. "You didn't seem to be in the mood for kissing," she explained. Tyki laughed, but it sounded hollow and it effectively stopped Ellen from nearing her mouth to his. She studied his face. "What are you doing here, Tyki Mikk?"

"I'm looking for a little sheep that's gone astray," he told her, smiling charmingly, "now? Where's that kiss?" Ellen pulled him down and their lips met. Tyki instantly put his hand on the back of her neck, drawing her near, his tongue brushed against her lips, easily slipping inside her mouth. The cold fire of desire for him welled up inside of Ellen like a shiver going through her body, but there were restraints holding her back. She couldn't just do this, not when-

"I know what you've been up to…" Tyki whispered against her mouth, slightly biting her lower lip. Ellen widened her eyes. "Did you really think that I would not notice?"

"What are you-" she started, but gasped when Tyki slipped his hand inside of her kimono, feeling her breasts.

"Oh, darling," he whispered, planting kisses on her neck. "We have eyes and ears everywhere. You were too daring, going to Whittmore manor and openly saying you are an exorcist!" He pushed her away suddenly and she stumbled and fell onto the frozen floor. There was no snow yet, only hard dry earth. Ellen grabbed the fabric of her kimono, drawing it back up to cover her bare chest. Tyki was still grinning, but his face was distorted by his anger.

"I don't understand," she started, getting back up on her knees. She tried to remain calm and uncaring, but somehow it just wouldn't come to her anymore. She was alert, she was worried and she was even afraid. Why? Why? She should be able to just shrug it off and offer him an explanation. A nicely fabricated lie that would appease him. But she didn't_ see_ it, she didn't know what to say. Tyki walked before her like a tiger in a cage. He was as agitated as she was.

"There was this guy, a French one, that went on and on about how he felt cheated about some kind of stupid sect and power and exorcists and so on and on." Ellen widened her eyes. The French boy of Science of God! "High society meets, girlie. And high society talks. Everyone got a laugh out of the boy. Everyone but me. I knew instantly what had transpired, even though I couldn't believe it! You, Ellen, you had gone there under the guise of Allen Whittmore, a persona all of us know about! You managed to get into this secret society and stole the Innocence they had in their possession. Nothing that is out of line with your normal missions. BUT. You _openly_ told the guy that you are an _exorcist_!" Tyki dropped to his knees in front of her, bending his head down. "Why…? Why Ellen? You're no exorcist! You're my girl! You're my family! What the hell were you thinking?" Ellen remained silent, unable to find her voice again. The man looked up, a pained glare on his face. "Come! Where is that lie? Tell me it was all just a mission of the Earl! Tell me that you only played this part! Tell me that you're only a spy! Anything!" he shouted and grabbed her upper arms, shaking her. But she remained silent, tears shooting into her eyes, but she didn't cry. Tyki stopped and started at her, then he let her go, laughing hollowly. "So… That's how it is," he started, his voice silent and dark. He straightened and with a swift movement he pressed her back down onto the cold floor. He bent over her, knees on either side of her body. "My straying girl…," he said and Ellen flinched when Tyki put a hand to her cheek. Her heart was beating fast, her stomach clenched painfully and she felt ill. Somehow she had lost all control and she didn't know what to do anymore. She should just tell him that she did it for the Earl. She should just lie. It was so easy! But she couldn't. "You are not to blame," Tyki whispered, kissing her softly, his hands slipping down the kimono from her shoulders. She shivered instantly and Tyki put his warm palms on her naked chest. "No… Not you…" He looked down at her, her face turned towards him. He found it hard to read her expression because he was not used to seeing her face filled with so many emotions. "Oh, how my heart burns with passion for you… It's almost painful," he said, brushing her hair out of her face, touching her lips, her eyes, her jaw. "I'll help you, Ellen." He placed one more kiss on her lips, then he got up from the floor, taking off his jacket. He pulled her up on her feet and placed the jacket around her shoulders. It was warm and smelled of him. He turned away from her and lighted a cigarette. She still hadn't said anything. "Hmm," he said, puffing out smoke and turning his head to look over his shoulder. "I don't quite know what you are really up to, girlie. But I know very well what's going on between you and that other exorcist visiting the manor with you. What was his name?" Ellen widened her eyes in shock and Tyki saw it happen with vicious satisfaction. "_Right_. General Kanda Yu."

"Tyki Mikk, you can't-"

"Don't worry… I'll set things right. And everything," he said walking up to her. He drew his hand through her tousled hair. "Will be like it was before." He grinned ominously, then he kissed the tips of her hair and turned around, walking into the forest. The wind rustled the barren twigs over Ellen's head, her naked feet were cold. And the heavy scent of tobacco and the warmth of Tyki's jacket kept her frozen to the spot, staring into the darkness where the other Noah had disappeared.

-o-

Snow had started falling when Ellen returned to Cross' mansion. Everything was peaceful within the barrier, but Ellen was worried. She stumbled through the corridors, her feet cold, her fingers numbly clutching Tyki's jacket draped over her shoulders. The scent of tobacco had gone stale in the cold air. It burnt in her eyes, it made her feel sick. She arrived back into her room, shutting the doors loudly and dropped to her knees, gasping for breath as nausea overcame her. She put her hand over her mouth, willing her body to calm down again.

"Hey!" She gave a start when Kanda opened the door. Kanda took a step back when she suddenly started coughing and then retching. He widened his eyes and rushed to her side, putting his hand on her shoulder. Ellen lifted a trembling hand to her lips, wiping them. "Are you okay?" Kanda said, darting a look to the fluid on the floor and then into Ellen's pale face.

"Y… Yes…," she said, taking a deep breath. Kanda helped her up on her feet and over to her futon. She sat down, swallowing a few times, still trying to breathe evenly. Kanda didn't say anything for a few moments.

„I'll get something to clean this up. You just wait here," he said and with a final glance to Ellen he left her room again. Ellen let herself fall down on the futon, curling up on her side. There was a bitter taste in her mouth and she pulled the jacket from her shoulders and threw it into the corner.

When Kanda came back he first handed her a cup of water that she gladly took. He wiped up her vomit with less resistance than she'd have imagined and threw the towel out of the room to clean up later. Ellen sipped the cold water, relieved that it washed away the taste and soothed her raw throat.

"Better?" Kanda asked, sitting next to her, and she nodded. „You've been gone quite a long time," he said and she nodded once again, but didn't feel like elaborating. Also, she could see that Kanda wanted to say something by the way he creased his brow.

"Have you been looking for me?" she wondered and Kanda nodded. "Why?"

"I called Rabi," he said and Ellen looked at him, her eyes still moist. "And he… He found out some disquieting things… Mostly about me." Ellen frowned, sitting back up straight and facing him. Now that the suffocating smell of Tyki was gone and she knew that he had not found Kanda yet, she was calmer and felt better. "Did you know that there are prophecies about me? Not Hebraska's, but older ones. That speak of me long before my birth?" Ellen raised her eyebrow. "Apparently there was some kind of pact in the old time, to balance out Light and Evil forces. To counter the Noah of Destiny there was-"

"The warrior of Grey," Ellen whispered, sudden recognition hitting her. She looked at Kanda incredulously. Kanda nodded. Of course Ellen knew of things like these, there were so many prophecies and predictions that had been placed in her memory over the centuries. But it was also a fact that many prophecies were nothing more than legends, fairy tales. She had not believed the Warrior of Grey to be an actual entity. But now that she heard it out of Kanda's mouth, the feeling she had had about him, from the first moments he had seen him, started to make sense.

"My grandmother seemed to have planned it all out, asking for the Innocence so she could make sure I'd receive it. Rabi thinks that all these prophecies and pacts are linked and that they mean me." He looked at the girl, she was quiet, apparently thinking this through. "What do you know about it? What do you have got to do with it? When you awoke I was born!" He looked at the girl next to him, seeing that she seemed disturbed by the piece of news he had given her.

"I don't think that I have anything to do with your birth. I just woke up then, how could _I_ have done it? I did know that Innocence was near you, I've watched you after all, but-"

"Why did you watch me? How did you know that it was me?" Ellen sighed, touching her fingers to her forehead.

"I just _knew_… A strong magical presence first alerted me when I went to your village. And then your grandmother contacted me… She seemed to know who I was and she asked me to watch over you."

"Why?" Kanda asked, pained at this.

"Because you were special… I felt it too…"

"Well, yes," Kanda said flatly, "apparently everybody's been waiting for me to be born. Apparently for hundreds if not thousands of years!" Ellen sighed.

"I know that you are agitated about it, Yu Kanda… But this prophecy does not change who you actually are." Kanda got up from the futon, walking over to the window with a groan. "Yu Kanda. You have the power to make a difference. Whether this prophecy is actually true or not."

"If I had not been born, then the war would not have been able to start… As long as the chess pieces are not in their firm place on the board, the game cannot be initiated," he said darkly and Ellen got up from the futon as well, walking over to him. "Everything, my entire life is controlled and determined by something that has happened millennia ago! This is ridiculous!"

"I know how that feels," Ellen told him, putting her hands on his arm, "trust me." Kanda turned his head to look at her, the he sighed.

"You do know that the Warrior of Grey and the Noah of Destiny are two opposing forces…? I… I don't want to-"

"_They_ might be… But _we_ are not," she said, clenching her fingers into the fabric of his kimono. He widened his eyes when she saw her pained expression. He raised his hand to the back of her neck, bending down to kiss her.

"What's the matter with you…?" he asked silently, "you've been acting strange ever since you returned." Ellen put her hands around his neck, pressing her forehead against Kanda's chest.

"Tyki Mikk found me," she told him quietly and Kanda widened his eyes. "He was looking for me… Charles Dobrée from Science of God blurted out that he's met us. Tyki Mikk knows that I'm an exorcist." Kanda stiffened, then he put his hands to Ellen's waist, gently putting enough distance between them to be able to look into her face. She was worried, he could see it. "And if he knows… Then I'm afraid the other will know as well."

"How… How is this possible? I thought everything you did was carefully planned out so that things like this don't happen," Kanda said incredulously. He too had trusted in Ellen's ability to take care of unwanted consequences. He was rather shocked that this wasn't the case. However, actually some part of him was glad that the Noah knew. Ellen was an exorcist. She was on his side. Ellen remained silent, her eyes pained. „Then… Why didn't you just lie to him? Couldn't you have said that this was a plot to destroy us from within?"

"I… I didn't know what to say," she confessed and Kanda looked at her in confusion, "I was there, listening to him. And my head was empty. I stared at him and stared, but I could not see where this was all going to. It's as if… As if I was just a normal human, without any abilities to manipulate people. I was afraid that every lie I'd try to tell him just would be too weak to hold. Destiny," she whispered, her eyes wide, "didn't help me!" Kanda widened his eyes, while Ellen put her hands to her face, crying into her palms. "I don't know what's wrong with me!" Kanda pulled her near again, pressing her against his body.

"Everything's going to be okay. You're an exorcist, Ellen. Maybe it's better this way…"

"I'm afraid," Ellen sobbed. "Tyki Mikk knows about you too! He thinks that if he disposes of you I'll stop being an exorcist. I kept away from this place for so long, because I was afraid that he'd either already found it or I would lead him to it."

"I can take care of myself. He won't kill me," Kanda reassured her, lifting her head so that he could look into her face. "But was he right? Would you leave if I was dead?"

"I don't want to think about that," she told him breathlessly, tears still falling from her eyes. She reached up, caressing his face. Kanda was silent for a while, but then Ellen kissed him, gently, first only on the corner of his lips, before she covered his mouth with hers.

"Aren't you still feeling ill?" Kanda asked, as Ellen pulled him to the futon and he sat down. Ellen climbed on top of his lap, her legs on either side of his. She wanted to continue _now_?

"I'm feeling better, now that I know you're well," she said, lowering her mouth to his again.

"I'm not… well," he said when Ellen removed her lips, sighing deeply, "I'm worried about what's going to happen…"

"Me too," Ellen told him, slipping her hands into his kimono, touching his chest. Her fingers were still cold from being outside for so long and Kanda shivered. "But we need to see what happens and act accordingly." She opened his kimono, pulling the cotton off his shoulders. "But what do you think about not worrying for a little while…? I need something I can be sure about," she said almost pleading, lowering her head to kiss his collarbone. Kanda hesitated, even as her lips moved up to his neck and he felt Ellen's teeth grazing his skin. Not too long ago, the thought of her body, tainted, used, had made him feel ill at ease. But the deeper he got into understanding her, the more she revealed her human side to him, the less did he think of her in these terms anymore. His affection for her grew day by day, even though there were moments of rationality where he thought that doing things this way – the emotional way – was idiotic. This was not about him or her. This was about loss and victory. But the rational part of his brain did fight a losing battle against what he felt.

And right now he felt her lips against his and her hand wandering all over his back. She was the one with experience among the two, Kanda felt comfortable enough with letting her take the reins. Her lips were warming against his and her breath was hot on his mouth. He opened his mouth against her, touching her lips with his tongue. Ellen reacted immediately, deepening their kiss, touching her tongue against his. It was a curious feeling that made Kanda shiver. It had been years – decades - since he last kissed anybody like this. He had almost forgotten how it felt. Ellen drew her hands from his shoulders down to his chest where Kanda gave a start when she pinched his nipples.

"Hey!" he protested, but his voice was mostly swallowed up by their kiss anyway. Ellen lifted one of her hands again, gently putting it on Kanda's neck. She gave him another short kiss, then she withdrew. Kanda wiped the saliva from his lips, looking at her questioningly, but then she got up on her knees, her weight leaving his lap. She guided his hand to her neck, feeling his hot breath on her skin, then she slowly lowered them both to the futon, straddling Kanda's hips again. He looked up at her indecisively. He reached up and pulled the ribbon out of her hair. It dropped loose, framing Ellen's face and spilling down her shoulders, the tips tickling Kanda's chest.

"You really are beautiful…," he told her, putting his other hand on her cheek. She smiled, almost shyly, then she lowered her body down to his, capturing his lips again. Kanda tugged at the fabric of her dress, pulling it down her left shoulder. He could see where the Innocence was attached to her pale skin and drew his fingers along it. It was completely smooth, white skin blending into dark one seamlessly. Kanda felt her breasts touching his chest and he kissed her neck, her warm breath tickling his shoulder. She shifted slightly, sighing, then her hand travelled down his stomach to his thighs. She sat back up straight, then she moved back, kneeling down next to him, bending her upper body down to kiss him. Her hand pulled at the kimono, revealing his pale legs and his underwear.

"No need to rush," he told her when he felt her fingers touching him, just her nails ghosting over his underpants.

"Are you nervous?" Ellen asked, kissing him again and Kanda refrained from answering. He preferred kissing her, gasping lightly into her mouth when she reached under his pants, feeling, teasing. He felt his cheeks burning up at the movement of her fingers, light as they were. He hadn't done this for too long. "I'll be gentle," she told him and Kanda could feel her smile against his cheek.

"Shouldn't I be the one saying that?" Kanda asked, hissing when she took his member into her hands, squeezing lightly. Ellen chuckled, her cheeks also slightly red.

"I'll be happy to have you prove to me how gentle you can be when you're ready… But maybe you first need to feel that my body is save," she told him and Kanda still had enough reason left to open his eyes at that and look up at her questioningly. "My touches will not leave stains." Kanda frowned, but then he reached up his hand, putting it on the back of her head. His eyes were honest when he looked up at her.

"Maybe I won't mind if they do," he told her, then he pulled her down, kissing her. Ellen laughed against his lips, caressing his cheek with her free hand. Kanda put his hands around her, resting his forehead against her collarbones, as Ellen moved her hand. She did know what she was doing and Kanda breathed heavily, his moist puffs of air hitting Ellen's skin. Kanda, even though he was letting his guard slip, still was too proud to let noises like moans pass his lips. Ellen didn't need him to tell her what he felt, not by words and not by sounds of pleasure. She was perfectly able to read his body's reaction to whatever her hand was doing. And she enjoyed it; there was something fresh and innocent about this moment, about their sexual interaction.

Ellen felt Kanda's fingers dig into her back and him tensing up. He drew in a sharp breath, holding it as he reached his climax. Ellen continued stroking him lightly until Kanda let out the breath he's been holding, breathing irregularly, but deeply. Kanda loosened his grip on her back and slumped down onto the futon, his eyes tightly shut. He was embarrassed, Ellen could see it in his expression. She let go of him, feeling the fluid stick to her fingers. She wiped it on her kimono, then she bent down to kiss his lips. He was slowly relaxing and cracked an eye open.

"Are you okay?" Ellen asked gently and Kanda wrinkled his nose in irritation.

"Of course," he said, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth, still trying to regain his composure. His legs were still trembling, like many of his muscles were, so he didn't trust himself sitting up again yet. He was too embarrassed to look at her, so he just pulled the kimono back over his legs.

"You really don't need to be ashamed," she told him, drawing the back of her fingers over his cheek.

"I feel like a young boy after his first self-inflicted orgasm…" Ellen burst out laughing hearing that and pulled him up.

"Trust me, you did far better than that," she joked and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"I'll do better next time," he told her, finally looking at him again, "if you want me to." Ellen smiled, nodding. He was glad that she refrained from making a reference to her professional knowledge on that topic. Kanda looked at her, his expression soft, then he groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'll go wash," he said and got up.

"I will see you later," she told him and Kanda left her room, still trying to get rid of his blush. He couldn't quite believe that what just happened it there was more than just one of his dreams. He walked down along the corridor, still exhausted, but not too exhausted to feel comfortable all sweaty and sticky. He reached the bath room and closed the door with a deep sigh.

Pouring cold water over his head, he wondered just what being intimate like this actually meant for her. He disliked his mind going there, but he assumed that it meant less to her than it did to him. Nothing she had done had made him feel ill at ease, he had felt like it did mean something to both of them. But what? How should he interpret the fact that she'd do it with him, now? Had she made a choice to just take him because he was here? Or did she actually decide that she wanted him because he had a special place in her heart? Did she feel guilty because she met Tyki before and now wanted to make up to him for the sake of equality? Was she still in love with that Noah bastard? Was she actually in love with _him_? Was _he_ in love with _her_? Kanda groaned, wiping his wet hair out of his face. He hated not quite being on top of the situation, though he never had been with her… Maybe he just had to ask her. _Directly_ ask her. But what exactly should he ask without sounding like an idiot?

Kanda pulled the kimono back on, towelling his hair, then he went back to her room. When he opened the door he could see General Cross leaning against the wall and Ellen wearing another kimono, the white one again. It was still difficult for Kanda to look at her when she wore it. Even though she did not wear his mask and he could still feel a nervous tug in his stomach when thinking about what they just did, he could not help being burdened by the memory of the Sorceress.

"General?" Kanda asked and Cross looked up at him.

"Good, now that we're complete I can tell you. I'm ready to leave. Now, Ellen, what's the conclusion you came to?" Kanda saw her clench her hands on top of her lap, head lowered.

"I will come with you," she said quietly but Kanda felt slightly uneasy that she refrained from looking up at them. "I've made my decision." She did look up now, but her face still seemed insecure. "I will be on your side." Kanda almost expected her to add "for now" but it never came. Cross uttered an approving sound and Ellen looked at Kanda, a small smile on her lips. He tried to look confident, but he didn't know if he managed.

"Good. Don't go back on your decision. We'll leave in ten minutes. Gather all your things. It'll take us two days to reach the capital. We need to be quick and secretive, but mostly quick." He looked towards Kanda who just frowned at him. "Good. See you at the gate in ten minutes." When he passed he put his hand on Kanda's shoulder, squeezing lightly. "Well done," he whispered then he left the room. Kanda still tried to figure out how exactly he should take the praise, then he heard Ellen get up on her feet.

"Are you sure?" he asked her and she sighed, combing her fingers through her hair before tying them with a red ribbon.

"I'm not sure. But seeing as I can't see the future I think this is as close to _sure_ as I can get," she told him with a weak smile on her face. Kanda sighed, then he put his arm around her shoulder.

"Yes," he affirmed silently, "don't be scared. We'll get through this…" Ellen nodded. "Together." There were still many things left unsaid, but for now this promise was enough to keep both of them going.

-o-

Once they had left Cross' mansion, Kanda felt uncomfortable. Even though the Akuma noise had died down into a low murmur, his body seemed weird, uneasy, almost foreign. He had not talked to Ellen about it and he had not asked about Mana and the Lotus flower. He knew that whatever had happened, it was difficult for Ellen to deal with it. He didn't want to jeopardize the level of trust they'd reached. But as much as he knew that the question would pain her, the fact that he would not have clarity about where he stood, frustrated him. What was Mana to him? Was he really to become his replacement? And if that was true then was Ellen's affection towards him not only a projection of the love she'd felt for Mana?

"Come on now!" Cross groaned, hitting his sake cup to Kanda's, before drowning the contents in one gulp. "Mana's been dead for ages! Ellen believes in puckering up and moving on when it comes to her men!" Kanda frowned at the loudness of the man's words. They were sitting in another of Cross' hide-outs, a short distance away from their destination. While they were in the garden, drinking sake, Ellen was in her room, having politely refused to take part in their drinking.

"You've been one of them too? A man she got over with?" Kanda dared asking and Cross laughed.

"You bet that we've been in bed together. There's nothing better than the relationship between pupil and master! But that was something physical – too much of a hassle to fall in love with the girl." Kanda sighed, he had thought so but continued sipping his sake thoughtfully.

"I don't think she got over Mana…"

"Nah. There is something about the whole ordeal with Mana that still keeps her occupied, I agree. But Mana's not the one holding her heart anymore… That's how love works, I'm sure you're old enough to get that by now." Kanda snorted, more than reluctant to hear the General lecture him on that topic. "People fall in love and it's the greatest thing ever. Then things go wrong, lovers come apart and it's the end of the world. Right? But fact is that people survive a heartbreak or two, heck, even more. Life can and will go on."

"Yeah I _got_ that," Kanda hissed, rather irritated, "but I don't think that's how Ellen works! For her every person fits into categories; lovers and tragedies. People she must love, people she just loves," Kanda said darkly, "and I'm part of the tragedy category, like Mana. Unlike the curly haired bastard."

"Tyki?" Cross snorted, pouring some more sake into their cups. "Yeah, he's a dangerous one, but I don't think that he stands much of a chance to keep possession of Ellen's heart." Kanda opened his mouth, but Cross fixed his glare on him and Kanda closed it again. "She's changed. I have no clue whether her Innocence has gotten the overhand or if Destiny is plotting something, but as Ellen is right now, she's afraid of Tyki, I noticed when she told me about their encounter. She's afraid of what he could do to you. And I think that is a good sign." Kanda hesitated, but Cross poured some more sake. "And I think we can drink on that! Cheers!" Kanda emptied his cup rather listlessly. He was not as confident as Cross was. The Noah inside of her was part of who Ellen was, a part Ellen felt ambivalent about, but it could not just go away. The memories of Noah didn't work that way, not even if Ellen chose to be an exorcist for good.

Kanda sighed and got up.

"I'll get some sleep. Thanks for the sake," Kanda said and Cross nodded.

"Kanda?" The Japanese turned to look at the other General. "Don't think about it too much. No matter what happens just do what you feel is right." Kanda looked at him indecisively.

"I will try to…," he said, opening the sliding door.

"You'd better try hard," he heard Cross murmur, but Kanda didn't want to stay to ask for an explanation. He had enough to think about, enough worries to know what doing the right thing meant. He didn't need it to be even more difficult. If Cross told him to stop thinking so much, then he probably should. But how could he when he knew that there were prophecies, that people had roles to play, that what he did with Ellen might be decisive for them all?

Kanda walked down the corridor, but then he suddenly stopped. Now that the floorboards were no longer creaking everything was silent. But there had been something else…! Kanda strained his ears and then he heard it again, just a murmur, a whisper almost. Kanda closed his eyes, concentrating. It got louder, snippets of someone talking, someone… shouting…? He thought he'd heard his name and his eyes snapped open. He ran back to the door leading to the garden, slamming open the sliding door. Cross didn't even give a start and turned around slowly, looking up at the pale General.

"A telephone…! Do you have a telephone?" Cross frowned, but then he got up and walked past him. Kanda followed, seeing Cross open the door to another room. The moment he saw the old machine the dials turned, the phone sputtering back into life with static noise that became clearer and louder.

"You don't need a telephone, brat. You should have realized by now…," Cross said when Kanda pulled the receiver from the hook.

"Rabi!" Kanda shouted and Cross sighed when the other man just ignored him. He turned around, leaving the room.

/YU? Yu! Just when I desperately needed to reach you!/ the voice replied and Kanda could hear that something was off in the way his friend's voice sounded.

"Yes, I felt it. What's wrong?" Kanda asked, trying to be calm.

/It's… It's Linali and Hanako! They and their group of Finders were attacked not far from Asia Branch!/ Kanda drew in a sharp breath, widening his eyes. /Linali just arrived, everything's chaotic!/ Kanda could indeed hear shouting in the background, also Linali's voice. /I'm not sure yet what happened, but it… I… I think it was a Noah attack…!/ Kanda's entire body was tense, but he was oddly calm, everything seemed so silent except from Rabi's voice.

/K… Kanda?/ It was Linali now, sobbing into the receiver. Her sobs echoed in the room, making the thin paper walls tremble. /Oh god, Kanda! I'm so sorry! I couldn't stop him!/

„Linali…," Kanda said silently. It was peculiar… It was like back then, 20 years ago, when the Akuma had attacked his village. He was walking past the doors of his family's rooms. He knew what lay behind them, but as long as he didn't go open them everything would be fine. Everything was still fine.

/I… He killed Hanako… Your sister… She's dead…!/ Peculiar… He remembered opening the door of his sister's room. He remembered going in there fearing the worst. And there she was, not a scatch, just tumbled out of bed again. Crying, afraid, but she was alive, she was fine. Kanda didn't know if he had said anything, but Rabi's voice spoke up again.

/It seems that Hanako was wearing one of your old exorcist coats, for protection… But… Tyki must have mistaken her for you… Only Linali survived… He wanted her to be alive. She has a message…/ Dully, Kanda heard Linali cry something, resisting having to deliver the message.

/He said so many strange things. But… I… I told him that Ellen's an exorcist… One of us! And he just… He just replied…/ Linali's voice trembled, but she took a deep breath and continued: /Everything will be fine now. She'll be able to go back to her family, back to him. Where she belongs…/ The line was quiet for a while, then Linali spoke up again /I… I just don't believe it… I can't believe it…/ But her voice echoed in the room in vain - Kanda had already left.

-o-

Ellen, having heard the loud noise of someone shouting, had left her quarters to come looking for Kanda. Cross had pointed her to another room, but she found it empty, dark and silent. There was the lingering tingling of magic echoing form the walls, but Kanda was not here. Still worried about what Tyki had said to her, she decided looking for him. After having searched the house, she went into the gardens and found him sitting under a tree, forehead in his palm.

"Yu Kanda…?" Ellen asked, trying to put an overcoat around his shoulders, but he just swatted her hands away. Ellen was surprised but when the man in front of her looked up, his eyes were red. "What happened?"

"As if you didn't know…!" Kanda spat, agitation quickly replacing the hollow look in his eyes. He jumped up on his feet and grabbed the collar of her kimono. He whirled her around, slamming Ellen's back against the tree. She gasped, squeezing her eyes shut at the unexpected pain, but they snapped back open when Kanda's fingers clenched around her neck. "Everything works just well, doesn't it? Just like you planned it all along!"

"You are not making any sense," Ellen managed to say, her eyes watering. She put her Innocence hand on his wrist and squeezed. He did however just hurl her to the floor, where she started coughing, holding her throat.

"Hanako is dead!" Kanda shouted and Ellen's coughing died down abruptly. She widened her eyes, looking over her shoulder to Kanda. The man stared down at her. "At that bastard's hands!"

"T… Tyki Mikk killed your sister?" Ellen whispered, shaking her head disbelievingly. "No…"

"Yes! She did in my stead!" He went on his knees in front of her, pulling her up and shaking her. "Wasn't that what you planned? I warned you! I told you that if you involved her in one of your sick plans, then I'd-"

"I knew… Yes… I knew that she would be able to save your life once…," Ellen interrupted him, her voice quiet. That she didn't even try to deny it made Kanda shut up instantly. "I knew that if she survived the Akuma attack then she'd buy you more time…"

"Was that why you suggested her to come with us? Why you told her she should transfer…? How could you do this to her? How could you do this to me?" Kanda shouted, his fingers digging into her shoulders painfully, but Ellen barely took notice of it. Kanda squeezed his eyes shut. "How can you play around with human lives like that?"

"I…," Ellen whispered, "Back on that day, 20 years ago, she should have died… Her time was up…You were supposed to be the only survivor…" Kanda lowered his head. He didn't want to hear this!

"If you had the power to keep her alive, then why didn't you just let her be? Why did you tell me to find her? She could still be alive, God damn it!"

"I… know… Yes, she could have lived…" Kanda lifted his head, looking at her with a blurry vision. Her face was pale, but she was crying too. "I knew how her loss would hurt you, but I put your safety over her life… I…" She lifted her hands to her face, covering it in shame. "I'm so sorry!"

"My safety? Why the hell did you do it? I could have fought against Tyki! I am powerful! I cannot take imagining how Hanako must have felt! Killed by him in my stead! I would have survived! This was meaningless! Just a meaningless waste of human life!"

"I'm so sorry…!" Ellen repeated and Kanda grit his teeth. "I thought she would be safe because I did not press her to transfer to another branch! That's what I should have done, I could still see it then!" Kanda looked at her, keeping silent. "I knew that her role in this had not changed, despite hoping so, but… But I did not try to really remove her from the path she was treading on because I just wanted you to be safe…!" Kanda lifted his hand to his forehead, covering his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Hanako… Just because of me you needed to die," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

"I'm so afraid…," Ellen said into the silence between them, "of how terrible and cruel I can be… I'm just like _her_…!"

"Stop that…," Kanda said, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "It was Tyki who murdered her, even though you might have made it possible in the first place. I think you deserve to feel guilty about it and I hope you do." He looked at her, her fingers digging into the frozen ground, her face lowered. "But you no longer are uncaring..." He got up from the floor, turning around.

"Yu-," Ellen started, looking up at him.

"I need to be alone now… I… need to think…," he said, stopping anything else she might have wanted to say. He looked at her as calmly as he could, seeing the tears roll down her cheeks. She seemed desperate, shaking her head when he lowered his eyes. "Good night…" He turned away and Ellen pressed her forehead to the cold ground, crying, her sobs echoing through the cold winter air.

To be continued

* * *

**Notes:**

A lot of emotions in this chapter, also very opposing ones. Hanako's fate has been clear to me from the start and maybe the occasional hints were apparent to you too. To be honest, I'm a bit sad.

I'd be very glad to hear what you think about the various things that happened in this chapter, it would probably put my mind at ease a bit...!


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's Notes:**

Here I am, back again from my holiday in France, not tanned and not burnt. I haven't really been able to write much while there. But I have been able to mostly fight the inspiration slump that always follows a holiday. Still I took my time. The chapter was difficult to write because of its content which is in part the aftermath of a death…

Sometimes I feel like I'm teasing you; I finally let Kanda and Ellen take a big step towards each other only to tear a deep gulf between them again within the same chapter. I don't mean to be so capricious, but I want to be able to write myself through the challenging downs (and ups) of their ever changing relationship. I hope you're not rolling your eyes at me and still have patience to see how it develops!

To show you how sorry I am I refrained from cutting this chapter where I first wanted to – consequently this chapter turned out to be quite long! :D

P.S. Oh, this is already chapter 30! I am surprised!

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

* * *

From the cold, frost covered earth, from the snow falling from a grey sky, a bitter and biting chill entered Ellen's body. Her fingers had gone numb again, the white ones discoloured red and burning, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Her knees were the same. She hadn't moved much since Kanda had gone in. The tear trails stung her cheeks and her vision was blurry. Still… Still she couldn't go inside.

A heavy coat was dropped on top of her.

"You're of no use to us when you freeze to death…," Cross said casually, scratching the back of his head with his index finger.

"I won't die," Ellen replied quietly. The General groaned, shaking his head in annoyance. "Marian, I did something terrible…"

"Tell me something I don't know yet," the man said, bending down to grab a hold of her upper arm. She didn't resist when he dragged her inside of the house not too gently. After sitting in the cold night for an hour or two the warmth of the mansion made her feel ill, her head spinning uncomfortably. Still, she found the voice to speak to him.

"I've caused Hanako Kanda to die," she whispered and Cross didn't turn to look at her while he dragged her through the corridors. "I've kept Yu Kanda's sister alive so she'd die in his stead…" Cross stopped, his hold on her upper arm quite painful and Ellen winced.

"Okay. That was new. But not unexpected. So what about it?" the man asked and fixed his intense glare on Ellen. She turned away from it and Cross finally knew for sure that this woman was different. What he had attempted, Kanda had finally managed, though he didn't know where this change would lead them. She was not exactly like Cross had hoped; a human Ellen Walker, he wouldn't have believed it! He almost laughed at the irony of it.

"How can you even ask? This is terrible! I feel so sorry for her and for him too… Their pain was not necessary… And still… Knowing that I haven't stopped it from happening. I've been so selfish…!"

"Oh? Have you been selfish, Miss Destiny?" Cross asked mockingly and Ellen couldn't help looking up at him, her brows drawn down in barely hidden displeasure. "Can you feel the guilt for your actions? Hah, guilt! Savour it, Ellen!" Ellen involuntarily flinched at the loudness of his voice and the mocking tone his cruel words were spoken in. "You messed up and you probably caused a few cracks in the pretty boy's heart. So you'd better not turn into an icicle now to save you some pain, but show him how sorry you are. And promise not to do it again!"

"How can I promise such a meaningless thing? He hasn't got more family members that I can lead to ruin," Ellen whispered and Cross laughed, shaking his head. "You don't care about this, do you…? You're terrible as well…!"

"If I care or not doesn't change anything in this situation. Besides, humans come in many flavours, my dear. Which is nothing new to you…" Cross told her, wiping her hair out of her face. "I think you'd be quite compassionate if you're given the chance." Ellen looked up at him, a doubtful expression in her clear grey eyes. "Things have changed, the times have changed… Even though I bet you started doubting your course of action, this unfortunate girl's path had still been paved by Destiny. Now, what will _you_ do?" Ellen lowered her head.

"I don't like this distinction… She's me and I am her. This is who I am – this despicable person. If you and Yu Kanda insist on dividing me then I constantly have to be afraid of myself…," she confessed and Cross patted her head.

"But you know that this distinction is necessary. You know that within you something bigger, something older lives. For this power – the Noah – you are of no importance. You are, after all, just a human vessel. You stopped caring about that, you became just what you were meant to become – a pure Noah without a real white, human self. Now…" he looked at her with a meaningful expression, hand heavy on her shoulder, "it is time to acknowledge the change. You need to recognise that you – Ellen Walker or whoever you actually are – become your own person. It is time for you to make your own decisions instead of just letting yourself be governed by Destiny. This is too easy, Ellen!" He grabbed her chin and lifted her head a bit. "Lift up that head of yours. Be an adult. Make decisions, suffer the consequences. Practice what you preach!" He let go of her chin and Ellen held his challenging gaze for a while, before she lowered her head again.

"I understand… Of course I understand… But the Noah of Destiny is far more powerful than me."

"Not if you control her. But I think this is not your main concern now…," he said and Ellen studied him indecisively. Control the Noah? That thought seemed ridiculous…! "You've got a man that just realized that there's something different between you and him than fate's bonds. I wonder what you think about that?" Cross tousled her hair then he left her alone. Yu Kanda… Ellen balled her hands into fists, staring at the floor. She closed her eyes for a moment, relaxing. But nothing came to her, no soft tug showing her the direction, no gentle whispers in her ear telling her what to do. She could not see, she could not hear. It was just her and she didn't know what the consequences would be if she went to him or if she kept away. Ellen lifted her hands to her chest, her heart beating painfully. Certainty did not exist for humans, at least not in affairs such as these… So she had to try and hope for the best, whatever that might be…

-o-

Ellen gently and quietly opened the door to Kanda's room and stepped inside. His window had been pulled open and it was rather chilly thanks to the clear and cold winter night outside. She slid the door close behind herself and stepped over to where he was lying on his futon. He was lying on his side, his back was turned towards her and a thin blanket was drawn over his body. Ellen hesitated, but then she kneeled down, her hand hovering over his shoulder. Then she put it on his skin. It was warm under her touch.

"Yu Kanda…," she whispered, gently rubbing his shoulder. He snorted silently and Ellen knew that he was awake. She bent down, her forehead touching his shoulder where her hand had been shortly before. What should she tell him? Her guilt was silencing her again. How should she tell him that she was sorry? That she deeply regretted what happened? Finding the right words was so terribly difficult. "I'm… sorry about your loss… She shouldn't have died…" Was that all she could say? Was that the amount of words that she managed to wrap her emotions in? How meaningless it all seemed! She felt tears slip from her shut eyes. Kanda could hear them hitting the futon, but he didn't react to her. "I'm so sorry…!" He sighed, then he shifted, looking over his shoulder where he could only see the top of her head.

"Stop apologizing," he told her and she lifted her head just slightly. She gazed at him through the long hair falling into her face.

"I don't know how to stop… I don't know how to make you feel better. Apologizing is all I can do…," she told him and Kanda thought about that. "And even that will not make any difference."

Kanda sighed and sat up, forcing Ellen to sit back on her knees again. He flipped his hair behind his shoulder, trying to gather his thoughts. He didn't feel like looking at the girl next to him and the only sound to be heard was the silent call of a night bird outside and the irregular noise of her tears hitting the floor.

The general tried to think back, he tried to figure out what he had felt when his entire family except Hanako had been killed. He'd been blinded by grief and his own shame for not being able to protect them. He had forced the pain and his powerlessness down by replacing it with rage and revenge to ponder upon. But he had been young then, he had been thoughtless. But how should you take a death? How should you deal with it if not with violent emotions? Should they, adult as they were, talk it through? Try to make sense of it? Try to figure out why it had to happen? What greater goal it served? Kanda felt this to be as pointless as rage or lament – nothing would change the fact that Hanako had died.

"Words are meaningless," Kanda started and finally directed his eyes towards Ellen. She was slightly hunched over, her long hair pooling around her on the floor, like silver threads of expensive silk. "No matter what you say or do, Hanako will still be dead." He studied Ellen for a reaction, but she remained silent and he could almost feel how tense she was. He sighed yet again into the heavy silence between them. "Why are you here?"

"I don't know…," she confessed and he could see her reach out her human hand, red from the cold, and place it on top of his knee. He didn't flinch at the touch, he didn't even know if he wanted her hand to be gone or to remain there. "I just… don't want you to hate me!" Kanda pulled his mouth into a thin line at that, staring at the top of her head.

"Why?" he demanded and his voice had come out far colder than he had intended it. Her fingertips dug into his thigh, not painfully, but it made him unable to ignore her touch.

"Why…?" she repeated and finally lifted her head. Her eyes were still wet and puffy, tear trails on her cheeks, her nose was red from the cold and crying and her white hair clung to her face. She looked like a mess – the cold, statue like beauty she had possessed, a beauty Kanda had both marvelled at and hated at the same time, had gone. "I know this is all my fault… I have understood that I deserve all the painful emotions in my heart. I know that you hating me for what I did would be perfectly reasonable… But… to be hated by you again…" She dared to look up at him, but his eyes still held the same question. _Why? _She wanted to lower her eyes and to escape the look on his face, but she forced herself to resist. "In all the years I have never been afraid of other people's thoughts and feelings about me. I knew that they were of no importance. I knew that whatever they thought about me would just fall off me without harming me in the slightest. I knew that I was different, that I moved through the world detachedly. Nothing could reach me, nothing humans did or felt made a difference to me. I was just playing along, my body reacting to other people's fleeting passions. Love was a shallow, fuzzy feeling, just like hate was or despair. It just never could reach me… But you…" She averted her eyes now that Kanda's expression changed from a cold mask to surprise. She put both of her hands on Kanda's knees now and dared to look up again. "Somehow you pierced right through this veil separating me from the world and you tore down the indifference. It happened slowly, yes, but now you're here…," she said and took his hand into hers, guiding it to her chest. He let it happened, slowly watching how his fingers closed around hers, then he looked back into her face. "I feel… intensely…" She shook her head. "Not just with my body. My head and my…" she found it difficult to say it all of a sudden, but she pulled herself together. "My head and my heart are touched by you… I haven't felt this in a long time…" she looked at him, a pained expression in her eyes. "Maybe I have never felt this before…" She lowered her head, her face disappearing behind a veil of white hair. "This love…" Kanda gave a start upon hearing her whisper these words. He wanted to say something into the ensuing silence, but before he could find the right words to start, she strengthened the grip around his hand. "It's painful and it's terrifying. Love that makes me cruel. That makes me not care about the world and other people's pain for as long as you are safe…! I don't know if you want it… I don't know if I shouldn't better lock it away… I… don't know what else I'll do…" her voice, which had turned from barely a whisper to something that filled the entire room, broke again. "I don't want to be hated by you…!" Kanda, not forgetting, but pushing everything else to the back of his mind for a moment, tugged at her hands and pulled her against him.

"I don't want to hate you either, Ellen! I don't want to go back to where we started!" he said bitterly, pressing her against his body. She put her arms around him instantly. "I don't want to push you away, but you continue doing these stupid things…! You don't even give me the opportunity to put my trust in you. Whenever I think we've made some progress you shatter it again." He put his hands on her upper arms and gently put some distance between them. "Do you understand? You don't trust my abilities and think you need to act for me. You don't. But if you don't trust in me I can't trust in you and tragedies like Hanako's death will continue along our path." He lowered his head and shook it. "I don't want to feel like this again. It's too painful."

"I… Yes," was all that Ellen managed to reply and Kanda looked at her again. Her face appeared to be composed and understanding, but he could see the doubt and fear so close underneath the calm surface. "I don't want any more sacrifices either… But I don't know if they can be avoided…"

"No. They cannot be," Kanda said and Ellen widened her eyes slightly. "This is human life. People die. Especially in war. Tragedies will happen, but not like Hanako's… I won't allow it to happen again." He looked at her sharply and she nodded. "Good." He let go of her and both of them didn't quite know what to do or say now.

"Is there anything I can do…?" Ellen asked after a while, backing off slightly when she saw that Kanda was uneasy. "About Hanako I mean…" Kanda looked at her doubtfully and she shook her head apologetically. "I just don't know what to do to make you feel better… I don't know how to deal with this situation…" Kanda twirled his fingers, feeling unsettled again now that the topic had resurfaced.

"Neither do I. There is no universal way to deal with loss… I probably just need time…"

"Do you… want to talk about it?" Ellen asked, forcing herself to say it because she didn't really feel like talking about it either. Kanda shrugged. "Not necessarily with me… I would understand…"

"That's not it…," he started, then he reached out his hand and drew it through her hair. He thought about suggesting her to cut it. He disliked how it always fell into her face, he wanted to see her expressions. But it was not his place to require her to change anything about her look… And now was not the time for it anyway. "Say… When Mana died, what happened then? What did you do? What did you want the Earl to tell you?" Ellen seemed puzzled by these questions, but she pressed her lips together shortly before she replied:

"He said that everything would be better now. That things would be like they were supposed to be. Everyone said that. They wanted normality to return at once. So I played along. There were no words of apology or pity. It just was what it was; Mana was in the way, he got killed."

"And what had you hoped to hear? What did you need then?" Ellen shrugged, forcing the memory of these days back into her mind. It wasn't difficult to recall these days, but it was still painful.

"Nothing… I needed nothing…," Ellen said in a whisper. "But for him to return." She put her hand against her forehead, shaking her head at herself. "That's why I brought him back. I knew that it was not meant to be, that it would not work like I hoped it would. But I was, in a certain way, overwhelmed. After I lost him again I accepted that he was gone…"

"You didn't think about revenge, did you…," Kanda asked and Ellen shook her head.

"Revenge, you must have noticed, is pointless. It takes you mind off your grief, it gives you purpose and with it stability. But it is pointless… It won't bring those back that were lost… In the end I was calm and collected, almost untouched. But only almost…" She looked at him, a small encouraging smile on her lips. "It is as you said… maybe it's just time you need to think about it… In the end we humans are capable of dealing with death simply because we have to… This is bitter reality, especially to us who are not mortal like them…" She fell back into silence and Kanda did not feel like disturbing the quiet that had entered the room. Some minutes passed like this, but Kanda thought they were less tense and less uneasy than just before. There was something there in the room, something unspoken that would need to be voiced, but it was patient. Both lacked the right words, both didn't know the right time for it.

"I will deal with it…," he finally said and Ellen looked up at him, "I'm sad and angry. But I'll deal with it."

"Good," was all that Ellen managed to reply, then she straightened up before actually getting back on her feet.

"Good night," he told her. Ellen nodded, a sad expression in her eyes. She didn't want to leave him, she wanted to tell him more, but as he had said – words were meaningless in this situation. She had broken his trust, something she hadn't known she actually wanted. She walked out of the room, closing the door behind herself.

Time was what he needed, what _they_ needed. And time was what they lacked.

-o-

Consideration was not one of Cross' strong points. He called them out of their respective uneasy sleep to continue their journey.

"You look like shit. Both of you," he commented dryly, studying them standing in the court. "We'll arrive in Edo later today. We'll travel straight to the capital. Don't even think of taking a rest, don't even think of letting your guard down until we're in my closest stronghold. And even then," he told them, his tone commanding, "you'd better watch yourself very closely. You won't be safe anymore, no matter where you are." Kanda nodded, while Ellen merely looked at the sky overhead.

"I hope you've been listening," Cross said irritably, punching Ellen's shoulder and she looked at him. "Is anything the matter?"

"I'm trying to read the signs," she answered and Cross shook his head, then he pushed her towards the gate.

"Not necessary. You just alert us if there are Akuma or Noah. Nothing else. Focus on not getting left behind or straying!" Ellen eyed him with an almost disgruntled expression. They left the hideout through the gate, stepping out into the even colder air outside.

Kanda could hear the light humming sound of gears and the clicks and screeches of machinery, but it was like the rustling of the leafless branches overhead. Neglectable. He truly hoped it would stay this way.

-o-

Edo lay in the distance, dark and gloomy. Kanda sat on the porch of the little house they were in. It was far less splendid than any other of Cross' dwellings, but as far as protection was concerned, it was better than to be out in the open. The day's march through the forest and villages, trying to keep in the shadows, trying not to leave trails despite the freshly fallen snow, had been difficult. They had passed many abandoned villages, infested with Akuma, or completely fallen into eerie silence, left to be broken down by time. Humans they had met none, not that Kanda had expected it to be otherwise. But he had hoped. Ellen had kept to herself, not saying anything unless she spotted Akuma on the way. Kanda turned his eyes away from the not so distant capital to look at Ellen sitting close to a pillar that was part of the protective barrier around their hide-out. Cross had withdrawn and with him the tension had returned to the silence between General and pupil. He wanted to say something to her, but he didn't quite know where to start and what to say. He was slightly worried about her, worried about her silence and the distant look in her eyes the closer they got to fulfilling their mission in Japan.

"Hey," he finally spoke up, trying to sound as casual as possible. Ellen looked up at once, an expectant expression on her face. Had she waited for him to speak to her? He hesitated and her expression wavered, but she didn't say anything so the silence returned. Kanda hissed at himself, touching his fingers to his forehead, then he got up. "That's ridiculous, we're adults." Ellen looked at him, her brows lifted in confusion. "We should just stop this embarrassing silence."

„I would. But I don't know what to say," she confessed and got up, slightly shaking the fabric of her kimono to get off the powdery snow. She didn't look at him afterwards. "Maybe I already said too much." Kanda frowned at that and walked over to her, stopping in front of her, within arm-reach.

„No," he said. „I don't think you did." He lifted his hand and drew it through her open hair. She closed her eyes shortly, only opening them again when he let the strands drop down again. He sighed and turned towards Edo lying in front of them.

"Are you nervous?" Ellen wondered, but when Kanda looked at her again, there was no playful smile on her lips, but a genuine concern shining in her eyes. He first wanted to shrug, but then he decided to be honest and nodded. "I understand."

"It would be too good to be true if everything went according to plan," Kanda said and Ellen heaved a deep sigh, crossing her arms in front of her chest and looked into the distance. He did the same, silently gazing.

"I don't even know what the plan is anymore. It feels like everything has slipped out of my hands when I left for Japan. Maybe even earlier," she said, but somehow a calm expression settled on her face again. Kanda turned towards her, studying her profile. Now that she was composed, her natural beauty and grace had returned to her. Though she still seemed young and vulnerable, so much more like her human appearance than mere months ago. Kanda was not sure if he was happy about the change. Ellen had not yet come to terms with not only playing, but _being_ human. She had not found out who she wanted to be, not picked out the various pieces out of the many, many roles she had played for such a long time. Kanda wondered if she ever would do it… Who knew how long Destiny would keep in the shadows. Who knew if this actually wasn't one of her roles as well? Kanda squeezed his eyes shut, disgruntled about the direction his mind had led him to.

"Disregarding General Cross, what was _your_ plan?" he asked and Ellen looked up at him with a puzzled look. "You knew we'd head towards Japan. You must have had a plan the moment you showed yourself to me in China… What was it?" Ellen remained silent, holding his gaze, then she turned her eyes downwards, studying the floor with a silent hum.

"This is actually hard to answer…," she told him, looking up at him again. "Me and you – it had always been a bit of a gamble. There had been so many opportunities for things to go wrong." Kanda raised an eyebrow, but let the girl continue. "However, the _plan_ was that I would help you get stronger. I would help you get to a certain point…"

"And which would be?" Ellen smiled now, a smile Kanda couldn't quite place.

"To the point where you would be able to win this war…," she answered and Kanda groaned silently, shaking his head. "Do not make that face at me, Yu Kanda."

"Don't speak to me like that, Ellen Walker," Kanda replied in irritation and she laughed slightly. "So it still boils down to the same thing; you want me to continue Mana's legacy."

"Yes and no. Maybe it was that before, but Mana would never have been able to win. I know that now. I don't know the constellations of the decisive, final confrontation, but you have to be in it. Without you and the power you gained and the decisions you have made and will still make there is no way that humanity will not be destroyed."

"So, actually," Kanda started, sighing, "what you did was obey the rules of the ancient pact. You've set the chess board accordingly." Ellen hesitated, but then she nodded.

"I would not exactly disagree with that. But I don't know if that is all there was." Kanda studied her. "I have wondered before; I will get you to Japan but what will happen then? Will I follow and aid you from the shadows as I've done before? Will I just patiently watch destiny unfold? On which side will I stand on?" She laughed gently, shaking her head. "But I have never quite worked like that. I have not sat down and planned ahead. My power certainly doesn't work that way."

"You just react to cues around you…," he said and Ellen nodded, "you see and feel and know… and then you manipulate." The white haired girl nodded yet again and Kanda uttered a sigh. "And you no longer do."

"I no longer do… I look at the battle ground before us and I don't know what to do…" she told him quietly, gazing at Edo. Then she turned around, looking up at him with a gentle and calm expression "And I look at you and I don't know what to do." Kanda reached out, taking her hand into his, squeezing it lightly.

"We will figure it out…," he said calmly, "what happened yesterday… And what you said yesterday… Things have changed between us… It is as you said before. There are so many opportunities where things between us might have gone wrong. Things _did_ go wrong… And maybe more things will go wrong in the future…"

"I don't want things to go wrong," Ellen told him, closing her fingers around his defiantly.

"But maybe we also don't want things to go _right_," Kanda argued silently and Ellen looked up to him, her eyes slightly widened in surprise. He returned her look and Ellen bit her lips. "Maybe the roles we need to play do indeed end in a tragedy for us..."

"Please… Don't say that," Ellen told him bitterly, "I know you are right… But I still care less about the fate of the world than-" Kanda lifted his fingers to her lips and she stopped. He looked at her almost sternly and she sighed trough her nose. Kanda's expression changed again and he moved his fingers down to her chin. Then he bent down, placing a kiss on her lips. A frustrated sob almost passed Ellen's lips when Kanda withdrew.

"It is our duty to try to protect what is worth protecting," he told her, "and sometimes we can't have what we wish for, for the sake of something more important…" Ellen felt like protesting, she felt like telling him that certain things did not matter, but she said nothing. "You too have changed people's lives for something that had nothing to do with them." She said nothing because she knew that she had no right to.

"I know…," Ellen finally said and Kanda nodded at her. He turned his back on Edo and walked to the door of the house.

"We don't know what is going to happen tomorrow… We should better be properly rested," he told her, then he looked back at her. "Good night." Ellen rubbed her forehead, exhaustedly and feeling frustrated.

"I understand. Good night…" The door shut noiselessly and Ellen looked up at the blinking stars in the clear sky.

-o-

The dark hours before dawn made the almost abandoned city of Edo appear like a vague scenery from a nightmare. Fog was soundlessly gliding through the empty streets, blown by a chilly wind carrying dry snowflakes. The city was not silent – Level Three Akuma were patrolling the streets, making it exceedingly difficult to move forwards.

Ellen was shivering, holding her hands to her chest while they were waiting in the shadow of a high wall for some Akuma to pass. She wore her hair in a braid pinned to the back of her head and the kimono had been replaced by her exorcist uniform. For this mission, all of them had changed into their uniforms, the golden buttons and embroidery of the two Generals dully reflected the sparse light. Kanda didn't have the time to worry about possible doubts his pupil might have had, he had to blindly trust her now. It was as Cross had said; they couldn't afford to worry about her turning against them, they were too busy trying not to be spotted.

But Kanda too had troubles moving around this ghost town. It was painful being here, not the level of Akuma noise, he could deal with that. No, it was the memory of what had happened long ago. His late master had sacrificed his own life in exchange for Kanda's. The fear of repeating this mistake made Kanda's fingers clench painfully around Mugen's hilt. There were so many things that could go wrong now!

Cross turned towards the other two, speaking in a harsh and commanding tone that broke the tense silence:

"The actual entry to the Ark is located in a shrine. We're almost there but we can't let our guards drop." Kanda looked past him and could see the vague shape of the gate in the fog ahead.

"Why couldn't we just use one of Ellen's gates? Wouldn't that have been safer?" Kanda hissed in reply, following Cross as he left the shadow of the alley. He didn't look back to find out if Ellen was following, but he could hear her hurried steps behind him.

"What we want is to terminate the main connection to Edo. This shrine is the only direct door leading to the Ark. It has been caused by Mana, so that the Earl is unable to move the Ark around. He doesn't know the location of the real gate. This is our chance at secrecy and it is my chance to check out the properties of the magic spells," Cross explained.

"Akuma," Ellen warned, „four ahead. It's the next patrol. We should go left." They moved into another narrow alley and through a hole in a wall surrounding a mansion. They could hear the Akuma talking and the heavy sounds of their steps. When they passed, the sounds of their gears and the whispers and wails became louder, but it was over as soon as they passed. He darted a look at Ellen, who held her chest while pressing her lips together. Traces of her curse were still inside of him, but Ellen had the real curse. If what she always felt in their vicinity was only half as bad as Kanda had felt before Cross had taken care of the problem, being here must be terrible for the girl. But she didn't complain, she never had complained about it.

"When we're inside," Cross continued, not facing them as he scanned the streets, "we'll have to split up. I'll take care of the Akuma Egg, I doubt that Ellen's able to destroy it. You two," now he looked over his shoulder, "you'll terminate the connection to Edo and secure the Ark for us." Kanda nodded and they left the garden again. Ellen walked behind, letting her hand travel along the rough surface of the wall. Dawn was still an hour away, but the darkness was becoming less dense, but the streets were still covered by layers of mist and snow was lightly falling around them. The gate of the shrine got closer and Kanda could already see its peeling red colour. Nothing looked out of the ordinary when they stood in front of it – the stone path leading to a small shrine was covered by dry earth and snow, tiles from the roof had fallen. It was abandoned, purposeless in this city void of human inhabitants.

"Okay, here we are," Cross said and Kanda almost wanted to doubt him, but seeing as Ellen didn't contradict him he refrained from it. They passed the gates and the cold and dark disappeared. They stood in the shadows of a building. Kanda turned around, behind them was a white washed house with a wooden sign attached to the wall – it seemed to be a tavern. The sky overhead was clear and blue and it was agreeable warm. "Come on, let's get moving," the older General insisted and walked out of the shadow. They seemed to be in a lower part of the town, Kanda could see it extending before him, rising to its highest point; the tower.

"Do you know where the Egg is?" Ellen wondered and Cross snorted. "There are Skulls guarding it. You better be careful."

"No need to be careful with weak scum like them," the red-haired men countered and Ellen turned her head away from him, shaking her head. "You don't trust me to be able to deal with their magic? Don't be ridiculous. But if you worry so much, why don't you join me?"

"You know I cannot do that. I can't stand being near the Akuma Egg for extended periods of time," Ellen answered and Kanda looked at her with confusion. "And I also think it'd be too hazardous…"

"Yes, yes," Cross said in a bored tone, scratching his head with a finger, his eyes turned skywards. "No meeting point. But you have to be fast. If you make it then we'll see each other again in the Black Order. If not, well…," he left the sentence open, but then he fixed his eyes on Ellen for a short while before he looked at Kanda. "Better pray you'll be successful." He lifted his hand, waving, then he turned around, disappearing around a corner.

"Where will we head to?" Kanda asked and Ellen lifted her hand, pointing at the tower. "Not the piano room?"

"The main control room has to be disconnected. If we want the Ark then we want it without Rhode Camelot being able to open doors to it anymore… Afterwards we disconnect it from Edo."

"And can't you just open a portal to it?" Kanda wondered and grabbed the knob of the nearest door. He pulled it open and the scent of the sea and the sound of roaring waves hit him at once. Ellen put her hand on the wood and slammed it shut. When Kanda looked at her, she frowned disapprovingly.

"There is no time to play, Yu Kanda," she reminded him and he returned her frown. "The problem with the main control room is that it belongs to the Earl. I do not doubt that there are many barriers, maybe even guards." She started walking ahead and Kanda followed. "There is no trust between the Earl and me, at least not when loyalty is concerned…" He watched her back, straight, with a white cross sawn into it. He stopped and Ellen, when she noticed that the sound of his footsteps had ceased, slowed and turned around. "What is it? We don't have any time to waste," she told him. Kanda looked at her, studying her, thinking.

"I want to-," he started, but then a sudden sensation of danger went through his body and he jumped to the side. The floor next to him exploded and a cloud of smoke whirled up into the otherwise undisturbed sky. Ellen widened her eyes when Kanda got to her side, Mugen drawn and invocated.

"What is it?" she shouted, but then she felt it too, a presence. She put her hands to her chest, holding her Innocence close to her.

"Well, well," a voice spoke up and Ellen squeezed her eyes shut. The familiar scent of tobacco filled the air around her and her stomach clenched with a wave of anxiety and nausea washing over her. Kanda took a step in front of Ellen, shielding her from the figure stepping out of the smoke. "Vermin in our beloved city again… We can't have that." Tyki wiped his long hair out of his face, grinning darkly. "Can we?" A moment of silence reigned while he looked at the opponents in front of him, then he widened his eyes and groaned. "You again?" Kanda widened his eyes, for a moment all his senses were blown away as he recognized the man in front of him, only to be replaced by ferocious rage that made his fingers tremble around Mugen. Tyki shook his head in disapproval, then he lifted his hand, dark sparks engulfing it. "How many times do I need to kill you until you disappear?"

"Yu Kanda! Calm your senses!" Ellen hissed when she saw the state Kanda was in and Tyki turned his eyes towards her. When he saw her, saw the uniform she wore, an expression of pain and frustration took hold of his handsome face.

"Ellen…!" he hissed, but then he placed his hand over his face. When he drew it away again, his lips were drawn up into a dark grin. "You're a new exorcist, aren't you, girly?" Ellen froze, taking a step back. "Don't be afraid of me, I'm a really nice guy."

"Stop this game, Tyki Mikk. What are you doing here?" Ellen asked, trying to keep her tone loud and calm. She put one of her hands on Kanda's shoulder and pushed him back. This time it was her who would step in front of him. She didn't want Kanda to fight Tyki.

"The Earl knew that sooner or later you exorcists would try to get your hands on the Ark. But did you really think you'd be able to do it?" He took a casual step towards them, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his locks out of his face. "Or is this a trap?" Kanda, despite the anger that made it difficult for him to think rationally, darted a look over his shoulder. Ellen's face was calm, but her brows were drawn down. "In any case, this will be the end of you, pretty boy! For good!"

"Shut up, you bastard! I'll make you pay for what you did to my sister!" Tyki stopped advancing and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh! I see! Your _sister_!", he repeated, whistling loudly. "And I thought that she was rather weak for the famed General Kanda! Why, I wondered, doesn't he draw his Innocence?" Kanda narrowed his eyes, glaring at the man with a look of pure hatred. His Innocence flashed and a second blade appeared in his other hand. "But she fooled me rather well! That look in your eyes! Exactly the same that she wore when she died! You can be pretty proud of her. For a woman she was quite brave!" Kanda didn't listen to him anymore, but jumped from where he was directly towards Tyki, slashing at him with his Innocence. The Noah lifted his hands, blocking his attack.

"Hah! Yes, that's what I know from you! Can you remember? We already fought like this the last time we met in this Ark! Exhilarating, isn't it? Two fighters clashing with the full intent to erase the other's very existence!" Ellen stared at the two, flinching when Tyki slammed his hand against Kanda's Innocence, making the other man fall back.

"Damn you!" Kanda roared, standing back up, but Ellen grabbed his arm with her Innocence hand, effectively holding him back. He glared at her over her shoulder. "You can't prevent this fight! I'll kill him!" Ellen shook her head and strengthened her hold on Kanda's arm. Tyki started laughing loudly, putting his hands on his hips with an amused grin on his face.

"Ellen is wise, she knows that you cannot win," he told Kanda and the General tried to pull his arm free, but without using force he couldn't shake Ellen off. The Noah looked at the girl.

"Yu Kanda. I know that you want to fight, but this is not the time for it!"

"Well, she is right. There is no time," Tyki said and lifted his hand. A grumbling sound was to be heard somewhere in the distance and soon after that the ground started shaking. Ellen gave a start as the trembling of the floor became more violent and some of the nearby walls started to fall apart. "You are trapped. Both of you. For exorcists, this Ark will be a grave, like it was supposed to be the last time you were inside!"

"What is going on?" Ellen called over the noise and Tyki chuckled.

"Did you really think the Earl had no idea of what the order had planned? Did you really think he'd let the Egg fall into the hands of the exorcists? Come on, girlie, you're not that naïve!" Ellen narrowed her eyes. "Placing the Egg back on the Ark was the only way to lure you out. We knew that one of the generals had the mission to get the Egg. Didn't you think it was too easy?" Tyki jumped on top of a building, lighting another cigarette. "The download has started." Ellen widened her eyes. „We don't need this Ark anymore. This is a little present for you, from the Earl." Ellen looked up at Tyki with a puzzled expression, just like Kanda did. But then the ground started pulling apart underneath them and Kanda grabbed the girl. He started running, trying to find a safe place, but Ellen was still staring at Tyki. "You don't need these things that continue holding you down. Don't worry. We'll take care of everything." She could hear his voice clearly, even though there was so much noise from the earthquake and the crumbling of buildings. Tyki lifted his hand and waved, then he was gone.

Kanda set her down further up in the streets, on a huge stair leading upwards. He panted, then he glared down into the city. It was crumbling; bit by bit of the city was falling off, disappearing into the nothingness that surrounded the space within the Ark.

"This is bad," Kanda hissed, then he grabbed Ellen's arm, pulling her upwards. "Let's move!"

"Wait, Yu Kanda!" Ellen shouted, resisting his tugging when they had moved up some steps.

"We're running out of time, we shouldn't let ourselves be held up!" Ellen shook her head and pointed to the houses.

"It's best if we leave! Even if the Ark is in the process of being downloaded, not all links to the outside world should be gone yet! But they will be if the download continues!" Kanda looked at her and considered their options, but then he shook his head, which made Ellen groan in frustration. "Please! This is not the time to argue!" She moved again, running up the stairs until she found a door that opened. She could see streets illuminated by red lanterns, but Kanda pulled her away, closing the door again.

"I agree that we should not argue right now. But we are not going to abandon our mission. We'll have to try to stop this download somehow!"

"Stop this download? I can't do that!" Ellen shouted, as the noise of the city falling apart got louder again. The door in front of them creaked, then it cracked. Ellen balled her hands into fists when she didn't manage to open it again. Kanda was walking away, continuing on the way up to the tower. "Don't you understand the situation we are in?" Kanda ignored her and Ellen had to run after him. "We are trapped here! The core part of the Ark is already gone and even though I have another piano for the control of the Ark, I don't think I could do anything to reverse this! We should escape as long as we still can!"

"The Earl carefully planned this. He has you exactly where he wants to have you," Kanda said, when they reached the square in front of the tower. When he looked around, more than half of the town had already disappeared. Ellen just shook her head and Kanda grabbed her hand. The look in his eyes was angry and Ellen winced at it. "I'm sure that he will not let you die. For you there will always be a way out. Now is the time to decide – will you just watch the Earl take your role as Musician and as exorcist from you, or will you resist and actually try to fight back just once?" Ellen seemed insecure at that and lowered her head. Kanda put his hands on her shoulders, then he pulled her close, his lips next to her ear. "I know that you can get us out of here Ellen. You'll be able to fulfil this mission. It is like that bastard said; it's time to get rid of the things holding you down. Severe your ties to the Earl. Be defiant for once!" Ellen lifted her hands to Kanda's back, grabbing the fabric of his uniform.

"I… I will try…," she said, then she let go of him, wiping her face. She seemed very uneasy, she was afraid. She turned around, facing the tower, she tried to put on a confident look to mask her fear and insecurities. Was this really the moment where she would decide for good? Was this the final crossroad where one single step into a certain direction would make her unable to go back and pick the other road? She wanted to turn around and just run, but Kanda was standing behind her, his hand on her back while they walked up the stairs. She dared to look over her shoulder, but all she saw was the brilliant white city being reduced to nothingness. Everything behind her was crumbling.

She was running out of time.

_To be continued_

-o-

**Notes: **

Okay, nothing to add right now! It'd be nice to hear what you think about the chapter! :D


End file.
